Hi, I read that you've dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I'm really struggling with that right now. I'm in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I'm struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It's a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful
The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.
The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.
On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”
And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”
And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.
idk how anyone could find renaissance history boring. raphael was italy’s biggest playboy and died b/c he got a fever from having too much sex and wouldn’t tell the doctors the cause. michelangelo was a bitter and angry old man who took to mocking others like da vinci publicly, and da vinci himself was the world’s worst procrastinator and never finished anything.
*finger guns* yall should read a book called You know me well By Nina Lacour & David Levithan, about a lesbian and a gay boy who become the best of bros (VERY strictly platonic), support each other during shenanigans and there’s cute but heart wrenching queer romance that made me grin ear to ear or clutch at my chest
Boromir would have been so proud of Rohan for showing up to help Minas Tirith.
Boromir, who spends the whole first book speaking out about his friends and allies the Rohirrim.
Boromir, who defies the rumor that the men of Rohan now pay a tribute of horses to Sauron.
Boromir, who advocates that they travel through the gap of Rohan because of the kindness he experienced there on his way to Rivendell, when even Aragorn suspects the Rohirrim of treachery.
Imagine for a moment how proud he would have been to see the forces of Rohan cresting that hill, to hear their horns blowing as they mounted the charge to save Minas Tirith. A battle which, honestly, Theoden knew he might not return from.
Boromir would have been honored and proud to know that Theoden held his oaths to Gondor in such high regard. That he was worried to think that Denethor might not expect his army to come to the aid of Gondor
please just think about this for a moment and be sad and excited with me
The relationship between misogyny and romance: a SJM study
Why female desire* isn’t problematic, but A Court of Thorns and Roses is.
In which I wade into an issue in depth, praying that the flame war gods do not strike me down.
**Please note that this essay discusses only the misogynist elements of SJM’s writing in the ACOTAR series. There are obviously other problematic elements that require acknowledgement, but this is the one I feel confident in addressing. I haven’t read any of ACOWAR yet.**
*also, female desire in this instance refers to the desire of thepresumed female reader of romance. The reading of romance and YA is obviously not exclusive to women, although a lot of the assumptions of SJM’s work ascribe to the concept of a binary gender.