*some of* the gods  as things I’ve said

Hera: I might stab everyone in my family if they don’t kill me first   

Zeus: You do not fuck with me I am the Vice president of this student council loser.   

Poseidon: Chill Bro-man-dude, just relax 

Demeter: Trees Trees Trees are better then you   

Athena: there will always be some one smarter then you, and that person will always be me 

Apollo: I am the funniest person in this room Yes I am alone In my bedroom thanks for asking. 

Artemis: If you ever even think about touching her again I will cut your hand off and shove it up your urethra  

 Aries: What makes you think I need a reason to fight? All I need is someone  willing to get their ass kicked by yours truly   

Aphrodite: Some times I forget how pretty I am Luckily, Mirrors don’t  

 Dionysus: you know before this class I never understood how people could be Alcoholics, now I get it 

Hestia: I literally never do anything ever why would they be mean like that 

 Hephaestus: I don’t need to sleep I need to FINISH (this project)  

Hermes:  Can be a bad parent if you Refuse to believe that you have children 

Hades: I’m a dark spooky little bean 

  • Fetus Percy: There's no way I can control the ocean just because my father's Poseidon
  • *wrong*
  • Percy: Okay but fresh water is where my powers will fail. I'm the son of the sea god, not every-single-drop-of-water-on-this-earth god
  • *also wrong*
  • Percy: Cool lmao. But what if there's no water around, anywhere? Then I'm super screwed
  • *creates a water-lava explosion in the middle of Mt. St Helen because the sea was "inside of him" all along*
  • Percy: K
  • Percy: So I can also make Earthquake explosions, too, huh
  • Percy: Sweet
  • Percy: Oh GoDs iM in tARTarus with No WATer where mY poweRs are WeaK hey maybe I cAn ContRoL poISON it's a LiquiD? nO that's so STUpid I canT-
  • *does*
  • all hail Percy Jackson the motherfucking controller of all liquids
  • Frank: *can shapeshift*
  • Percy: so unfair

anonymous asked:

SO in PJGG percy said he liked the smell of annabths freshly shampooed hair, could u write a fic bout that?

The little line of the word document blinked at Percy expectantly, waiting for his next sentence to be typed. His fingers hovered over the keys but nothing came. He scrolled up the page and re-read what he’d already written…

The dark form of Typhoeus appeared on the horizon, like King Kong, Godzilla and one of those evil Transformer dudes all rolled into one. He bellowed his victory cry as he approached Mount Olympus. the whole earth shuddered.

Right. Typhoeus. What a douche. Like, seriously, the guy needed to chill. Percy rubbed his face with his hands, took a sip of the cold coffee next to his mom’s laptop, cringed, and scanned the massive pile of notes he and Annabeth had made when reading up on all of these old myths. Aegipan, he was the dude trying to distract Mr King Kong with his music. Percy began typing, thinking of the nicest smells to compare Aegipan’s music to, writing the first things that came to mind, the thing he could smell right now…

‘How’s it coming along?’ Annabeth’s voice appeared behind him as her hands rested on his shoulders.

‘“The smell of your girlfriend’s freshly shampooed hair…”,’ she read off the screen and Percy could hear the smirk in her voice. ‘I thought this was a story about the Gods.’

He turned and reached for her, pulling her into his lap as she grinned. ‘You’re distracting,’ he said. He took in her appearance; denim shorts, one of his school basketball shirts, fresh pink skin and damp braided hair from her shower. She sat sideways in his lap and he played with the hem of her shorts as her arm curled around his shoulders and her fingers threaded into his hair.

Very distracting.

‘I should let you get back to it,’ she said, making no effort to move away from him. In fact, her head tilted closer. He could smell peppermint toothpaste and lemon shampoo and thought of the little bottle she kept in his shower.

‘I think you should stay.’

She grinned like he’d given the right answer and closed her mouth over his. Percy didn’t think he would ever get used to kissing Annabeth; the way her fingers gripped his hair and her teeth nipped his lip and she sighed softly into him. He slipped a hand under the hem of the shirt she was wearing - his shirt - and traced the warm skin of her back. Her spine arched under his touch, causing his hand to wander further up until it was pressed between her shoulder blades and he came to the sudden realisation that Annabeth wasn’t wearing a bra.

He stilled, pulling away from her kiss with a little gasp. Annabeth looked down at him, biting her bottom lip and placing one hand on his chest.

‘You okay?’ she asked.

He nodded. But the knowledge that under his shirt, Annabeth was naked was doing crazy things to a certain part of his anatomy. And as he started to process the idea of removing that shirt and getting lucky with his girlfriend tonight, the door to the apartment opened.

Annabeth scrambled off his lap, tugging her shirt down as Percy clamped his hands over his crotch. Great timing, mom.

‘Hey kids,’ Sally greeted as she shouldered her way into the apartment with a couple of grocery bags in her arms. Annabeth rushed forward to her her. ‘Oh thanks, sweetie. You’re staying for dinner, right?’

‘Yeah, course I am.’

‘How’s it coming, Percy?’ Sally called as they disappeared into the kitchen.

‘Great,’ he managed. ‘It’s great.’

He turned back to the laptop and tried to tune out his mom and Annabeth’s conversation. He shook his head and set his fingers to the keyboard.

Sorry. I got distracted. What was I saying?