You think you’re any different from me, or your friends, or this tree? If you listen hard enough, you can hear every living thing breathing together. You can feel everything growing. We’re all living together, even if most folks don’t act like it. We all have the same roots, and we are all branches of the same tree.
There is an alternate earth where Batman is a crazy homeless person who dresses up like a bat. Two-Face is a guy with a terrible uneven sunburn who refuses to give Bruce his change when he knows he has some. The Joker is a guy at the soup kitchen who makes terrible jokes when he gives Bruce his meal. Catwoman is a woman who volunteers at the same soup kitchen and always wears a sweater with a picture of a cat on it. Bruce has a crush on her, she knows and thinks he’s a sweetheart. The Scarecrow is a man who always scares Bruce on Halloween. Dick Grayson is a high schooler who gives him sandwiches and sodas.
Thank you for your book recs tag. So many good books that I now need to read. Are there any new books you'd desperately recommend?
I’m gonna choose to interpret “new books” as “new to me” i.e. books I’ve read in the last few months, adored, and haven’t YELLED ABOUT a lot yet, sooo:
- SIX OF CROWS BY LEIGH BARDUGO – I haven’t read the Grisha trilogy so for the first 100 or so pages of this I was pleasantly “???” about everything, but then it TOOK TF OFF and didn’t slow down again and YO, I AM IN LOVE. the tagline is “six dangerous outcasts, one impossible heist” but honestly I think “my six morally grey kids flirt dreadfully and have shenanigans” is far more fitting. shenanigans and clutch-your-heart painful backstories. (alternately: “five dangerous outcasts, and Wylan”.) CAN’T WAIT FOR ALL THE ADRENALINE-FUELLED, TORTURED SNOGGING WE’RE GONNA GET IN THE NEXT BOOK! BRING IT ON!
- FANS OF THE IMPOSSIBLE LIFE BY KATE SCELSA – this was a very lovely, very cute, very well written little sort-of-polyamory book. it’s basically about three kids (two boys who ID as gay and one straight girl) who’re obsessed with each other, and it ACTUALLY GOES THERE. like, they take it TO THE BONE ZONE. sort of. more like the Unambiguous Oral Zone, which is preceded by the boys being like “I thought you didn’t like to kiss girls?” “I thought YOU didn’t like to kiss girls!” and then finger-gunsing each other. AAAAANYWAY, I liked it a lot. and the author replied to my tweet with a winking smiley, so she’s golden.
- HORRORSTÖR BY GRADY HENDRIX – two words: HAUNTED IKEA. (technically it’s haunted ‘Orsk’. and Ikea actually exists in their universe, which took me out of it slightly – I think Grady should have played it like Orsk Is Ikea, not “oh, Orsk is just a rip-off Ikea!” kind of like that ONE Harry Potter mention in Fangirl that gives you whiplash. BUT, OTHER THAN THAT: BRILLOPADS, AND GENUINELY VERY SCARY.)
- WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES BY RAZIEL REID – okay, this book is an ACQUIRED TASTE. three pages in I was like “wow, this is absolutely not for me”, but I just… didn’t put it down. I devoured the whole thing in one sitting because I needed to know what was going to happen. it was very nihilistic, super fucked up, sexually explicit, but DAMN, JUDE. A CHARACTER FOR OUR TIME. queer af, genderfluid (? possibly?), he belongs in an early ‘90s New Queer Cinema flick starring Andreja Pejic and directed by Gregg Araki.
- SIMON VS THE HOMO SAPIENS AGENDA BY BECKY ALBERTELLI – hoooo boy, this was a cute book. A CUTE BOOK. I read it immediately after finishing When Everything Feels Like The Movies, because I knew I needed something sweet and nice and Uplifting Teen Movieish before going to bed, AND THIS BOOK WAS IT. such a great premise, really great protagonist, big ol’ heart eyes in my face all the way through.
- THE REST OF US JUST LIVE HERE BY PATRICK NESS – I’ve yelled about this book once before, but it bears repeating: it’s incredible and I am highkey in love with it. buncha teenagers trying to live their lives while residing in the same town as myriad YA SF/F Chosen Ones, who keep trying to Save the World at inopportune times and ruining graduation, etc. etc.
Avatar The Last Airbender Book Two “Earth” Sentence Starters
“We don’t need a map. …We just need love.”
“I can’t watch you do this to yourself.”
“I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing, so you’ve had to struggle, and connive, and claw your way to power. But true power, the divine right to rule, is something you’re born with.”
“Now comes the part where I double cross you.”
“I said arrest her! What is wrong with you?”
“You! Hand over your money!”
“Drink cactus juice, it’ll quench ya. Nothing’s quenchier. It’s the quenchiest!”
“Hey! Did you throw that egg?”
“Sick of tea? That’s like being sick of breathing!”
“You been hitting the cactus juice again?”
“Blech! This tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice!”
“There is no war in *insert name here*. Here, we are safe. Here, we are free.”
“I know you’re not supposed to cry over spilled tea, but…. It’s just so sad!”
“It’s a giant mushroom…MAYBE IT’S FRIENDLY!”
“You’ve been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and then you just lick something you find stuck to the wall of a cave?!”
“Is this real or a legend?”
“FRIENDLY MUSHROOM!!! Mushy giant friend!”
“Hmm, they’re not wads, they’re more like, bundles. Or bunches? It’s got an ‘uh’ sound.”
“I am your humble servant, here to serve you and our nation. Use me.”
“Girls are crazy!”
“You know, now I’m really glad I bought this bag. It matches the belt perfectly!”
“Please tell me you’re here to kill me.”
“Gee, I’d love to help, but I’m supposed to be boiled in oil.”
“I said I would face justice, so I will.”
“This is, by far, the worst town we have ever been to.”
“WHY DO THINGS KEEP ATTACHING TO ME?!”
“There really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place.”
“SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL! Through the mountain! SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET TUNNEL!”
“I’m saying I’d rather kiss you than die! That’s a compliment!”
“Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for three weeks with no food or water and sea vultures waiting to pluck out your liver could make one so tense!”