Found this book at the thrift store a couple of days ago. Buying it was a moral imperative.
From the front cover: CAN A SEVEN-HUNDRED YEAR OLD TRANSYLVANIAN FIND TRUE LOVE WITH A REVOLUTIONARY RYSEMIAN FISH WOMAN?
Back cover: Misunderstood vampire Sterling O’Blivion was working at a dance stuido in Chicago when the Rysemian starships landed and things began to change for the better. For one thing, the aliens could take any form they chose, human or otherwise, and Sterling fell head over heels for the one called Benaroya, who was presently disguised as Virginia Woolf. For another, Sterling got a neat new job as chief spokesperson for the aliens’ front operation selling the Famous Men’s Sperm Kit.
After seven hundred years, Sterling had begun to think the joy was going out of life. Now she had the chance to turn into Mr. Spock, to dance with Abraham Lincoln, and to fall wildly and truly in love. It was just the sort of romp an aging vampire needed!
(Published in 1984)