book of mormon stories

things some of my favourite musicals have taught me

-how to make an omelette
-a basic understanding of the history of america
-a basic understanding of the history of america from a mormon’s perspective
-in order to be successful, you don’t need to have brains or knowledge, just popular
-Spanish
-how to kill someone and make it look like a suicide
-how many minutes there are in a year
-how to tell if someone is gay or European
-it’s really easy to fake emails
-don’t sell drugs kids, even if you have the hots for the person you’re selling them to
-always be aware of autocorrect
-how to break in a glove
-nice is different than good
-everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes
-it’s too late to screw at 4am
-revolutions likely end in death
-almost all bankers, bums and barbers know how to read
-‘pop’ is a suitable synonym for the verb ‘chew’
-how many people resided in newfoundland before 9/11
-how many people were redirected to newfoundland after 9/11

(might add more as time goes on)

Things Each Musical Reminds Me Of

*based on the period of my life when I listened to the musical the most, not the actual content of the musical; though it’s kind of funny how each musical relates to what it reminds me of

Wicked: unexpectedly starting a conversation with an old friend and realizing you miss them

The Phantom of the Opera: the kind of love you don’t expect anything from

RENT: rebelling against your parents for the first time

The Sound of Music: finding family in friends you never expected to meet

Newsies: adventures and memories that come from the people you were with not the places you went

Les Miserables: disappointment you won’t remember in a month but you needed to experience

Next to Normal: self-growth when you least expect it

The Last Five Years: losing what you were looking for but finding something better

If/Then: independence is not loneliness

Love Never Dies: sharing something you love with your friends because you want them to know how important they are to you

Avenue Q: going on a road trip with your best friend and singing until your throat is raw

Spring Awakening: continuously learning and falling in love with something you already know so well

The Book of Mormon: second-hand happiness because the person who means so much to you is where they want to be

Daddy Long Legs: accidental all-nighters reading horoscopes with your friends

Fun Home: allowing yourself time for growth; accepting not everything has to come at once

Hamilton: meeting someone once and knowing from then on you won’t go a day in your life without them

Heathers: the worst new beginnings that somehow still lead to the best new things

In the Heights: forgetting why you started doing something and beginning to do it for yourself

Dear Evan Hansen: the trust someone hands you when they introduce you to their favorite band

Waitress: a person you associate with your entire life but you’ve only known a short while

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: forgiveness you don’t deserve and the hope that comes from your lowest moments

Falsettos: long distance friendships with origin stories no one will believe

youtube

so i was like haha lmao the hamilton ones are lit so why dont i make a shit one for tbom but i spent more time than necessary anyways,,,

i have never understood people who think musicals are boring/lame. they get away with way more violence, sex, social commentary, and profanity than mainstream movies do, just because its all done onstage in song form

and thats amazing

me, a musical critic reviewing any musical: 5 sTaRs⭐️🌟⭐️⭐️🌟oPenIng ScenE😩👏tHe SoNG😍😩AmAZInG cAST👫👭👬tHe ORchEsTra😩💙👏ChILLs😱👍 LiGHtinG💡🔦ALL oF The SoNGs🎵😍😩EmoTIoNs😭💕AcT ONe👯👯‍♂️AcT tWO💃🕺tHe CoSTUmes👀🎩eNdinG sCeNE😱😩👀

Need New Blogs

I went on an unfollowing spree and I need new content that isn’t homestuck.

Please reblog or like if you post the following (Gunna be a big list):

Musicals:
> Heathers
> The Book Of Mormon
> Hamilton
> Little Shop Of Horrors
> La La Land
> Grease
> Bugsy Malone
> Rocky Horror Picture Show

Shows:
> Orange Is The New Black
> 13 Reasons Why
> American Horror Story
> South Park
> Stranger Things
> Shadow Hunters

Extras:
> Horror
> Overwatch
> Aesthetics (Any)
> Music

BROADWAY ART GIVEAWAY!!!

im gonna draw any shit from any musical u want, nerds

da rules:
• u gotta b following me (im def gonna make sure u are my guy)
• u gotta reblog (likes dont count dude)
• that’s all, bros

I will draw:
• pretty much anything
• your favorite underrated musical that nobody even knows? yeah
• your favorite extremely popular musical that you’re afraid to ask for fanart of because you’ll think you’re being annoying? totally, hmu
• porn? maybe. depends on the ship. also im a minor so if getting that shit from me bothers u don’t ask for it

I wont draw:
• incest
• r***pe
• characters using slurs
• furries (or dolphins guys dont make me ple a s e)

that’s all! I’m gonna pick the winner on June 3rd, 2017!

So funny story…

I’m sitting in the car waiting at my girlfriend’s apartment to pick her up for a movie and there is a knock on my window.
I look over to see two boys dressed in full mormon missionary garb. Slacks, ties, short sleeved dress shirts, and nametags with what I believe said Elder Grant and I shit you not…Elder Price.

So I roll down my window.

Elder Price: Hey there! How you doin today?
Me: Doing okay… yourself?
Elder Grant: Just great thank you so much for asking.
Elder Price: Do you happen to go to a church around here at all?
Me (a gay and non-religious): Nah…haven’t really found one I like…. don’t really live around here.
Elder Grant: That is totally understandable we totally get that.
Me: ….right…
Elder Price: -handing me a card- well we would just love it if you checked our church out. What are you doing today?
Me: Oh just picking up a friend…

At this moment my girlfriend shows up, walking our dog. Now my girlfriend is hot ladies and gentlemen. Long dark hair, lipstick done, eyebrows perfect, and curves that could kill a man.

So these mormons ask if she’s my friend and I just sort of nod while they greet her and shake her hand and gush about our dog. They keep talking about their mission and are about to hand her a card when she thanks them both and waltzes to my window telling me she’s going to take the dog inside. She leans down to my window bending over so her butt is pretty much in Elder Price’s young naive face plants the biggest kiss on my lips and walks away like a damn supermodel.

These boys looked….shook.

Elder Price starts quickly talking to me about how they might have missionaries in my area if I want to talk to them instead. Elder Grant just looks…so confused. I thank these sweet angel boys profusely and tell them I will definitely be checking out the church and watch them walk away.

Once they are gone I look in the mirror to see my mouth is just smeared with red lipstick and I swear to those boys Jesus I nearly passed out I laughed so hard.

So that was how my gf made two mormon boys question their place in life.

@teagoblin

lyrics that are physically painful to get stuck in your head in public b/c you can’t finish singing them out loud

  • did you mean: the entirety of Book of Mormon
  • there’s a moment you know
  • parasite who set its sights on you dream come true
  • shhhh sorry but I really had to wake you
  • braaaah braaaah I am Hercules Mulligan up in it, lovin’ it
  • anyone for buying the shit that I’m selling because
  • I say Whizzer: Whizzer Brown
  • things have been crazy and it sucks that we don’t talk that much 
  • but dude, these stories sometimes scare you half to death
  • McKinley (to Price): Why can't we be more like Arnold and Nabulungi?
  • Price: *looks over at them staring into each other's eyes while holding hands*
  • Cunningham: Ok, you start!
  • Nabulungi: I
  • Cunningham: love
  • Nabulungi: you!
  • Cunningham: See! That time I said "love"! Ok now me first.
  • Nabulungi: Oh Ok! Ok!
  • Cunningham: I
  • Nabulungi: love
  • Cunningham: you! You see what I mean, it changes every time!
  • Nabulungi: You are so smart!
  • Price: ...
  • Price: We're not doing that.