book fails

everyone talks about “did you put your name in the goblet of fire” being the worst book to movie dialogue fail but lets be real the worst is where hermione answers a question in class and snape calls her an “insufferable know-it-all” and in the book ron is furious and he goes OFF and says “you asked a question and she knows the answer! why ask if you don’t want to be told?” but in the movies they just make him say “he’s got a point, you know” and i’m still mad about it

Me: Alrighty Brain! We spent 3 hours studying these last night so I know we can do them! So what kind of chemical reaction is this?

Brain: *banging pots and pans* vERONICA OPEN THE-OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE i’m nOt here FoR YOUU’d scribble stars oN the cUFfs of your jeans :3 NaOOoOOoooOomiIIII so itS like DRugs its BETTer than dRUgs jERemy ITS FR-MY CAAANDY STOOOOORE BUT -you-BuT-yoU-BUT -you-BUT-YOU MAKE mY BALls SO BLUUUUE You HUrt tHEm bad-BAd? HAS BEEN ROUGH.kiNKY and I AM MORE THAN YOU JAVEEer Im THe STROnger MAN BY FAAR aCROSS THE YELLOW FIELD I HEAR HIM CALLING: oNE DOLLAR TWO DOLLARS FIve HunDRED tweNTY FIVE ThOuSanD SIX HUNDRED mIIIIINUTES

Me: Oh it’s all so clear now thanks Brain!

oh yeah i’m on a book buying ban, no book buying for m– *trips* *hundreds of books fall out of bag* fuck look these aren’t new i swear i’m just carrying them around for fun– *slips on a pile of books* fu ck no i haven’t been buying anything i am so committed to– *more books fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to gather them up* hang on just L IST EN i haven’t been buying– *doorbell rings* NO those are NOT new books being delivered how DARE you even–

2

LGBT+ books: Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

“I think everyone’s a bit bored with boy-girl romances anyway,” he said. “I think the world’s had enough of those, to be honest.”

Concept: the next Fallout game just rips off the exact plot of I Want My Hat Back. No family drama, no existential threats, no automatic entanglement in wasteland politics - you’re just some asshole who really loves their hat. It goes missing one day, and you’ll do anything to get it back.

I don’t get why Eragon doesn’t have a bigger fanbase.
Like the leader of the largest and most EPIC rebellion against Mr. Fucktwat Galbatorix is literally a woman of color and ISNT USED AS A ROMANTIC INTEREST FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER. OR ANY CHARACTER. I mean that whole thing with Murtagh happened but it didn’t really go anywhere and it wasn’t the main focus soo. Plus, we got this KICKASS FEMALE ELF NAMED ARYA WHO. KICKS. ASS. ERAGON TRIES TO GO AFTER THAT BOOTY BUT SHES LIKE NAAAAW SON and he still has those romantic feelings but HE RESPECTS THAT SHE DOESNT FEEL THE SAME SO HE PUSHES HIS DICK FEELINGS ASIDE. Another great example of kickass females is the litERAL MAIN CHARACTER well one of the two main characters SAPHIRA WHO IS A FUCKN DRAGON WHO IS SO SELF CONFIDENT AND KICKS. FUCKING. ASS. BECAUSE SHE IS A L I T E R A L D R A G O N AND ALSO THE LAST FEMALE DRAGON IN EXISTENCE. Then the motherfuckin queen of ELVES - elves, who are like 10 times stronger than humans and are immortal and SHE KICKS ASS AS QUEEN WITH A MOTHA FUCKIN ALBINO RAVEN. Then we got Bridget who ain’t having none of Roran’s shit. Katrina’s a bit of a damsel-type, but not to the point of total helplessness - she’s still rad af. And tbh, it’s okay to have a few damsel types - just look at our boy Eragon in the beginning of the series. Total damsel. Murtagh is also in serious need of rescuing. He’s like the Bucky in this series. And don’t even get me started on Orrin…. And let’s not forget the fact that one of the two original bad guys that got our main characters involved in everything is actually female. Like seriously - I had no idea that the Ra'zac weren’t both male until Brisingr. Also, the leader of Du Vrangr Gata - Trianna - is a kickass girl and a SORCERESS. And that kickass leader of the Varden actually becomes motherfucking QUEEN
ALSO that dumbfuck Eragon fucks up when using magic to bless a kid so that kid ends up being able to feel EVERYONE’S PAIN so she grows up real quick and IS FORCED TO FEEL EVERYONE’S DISCOMFORT BECAUSE SOMEBODY FUCKED UP but then it gets sorted out and she’s bitter af because after all that suffering of an ENTIRE WAR she kinda has a right to be a lil upset. But then she ends up helping out n stuff even tho she is LITERALLY a child. And I don’t even know what Angela is, but she’s like my favorite character aND SO FUKCIN RAD N KICKASS so honestly I think you should just read these books like right now because of all the KICKASS FEMALES but stay tf away from the movie.
Also, in case I didn’t mention,
Mother
Fucking
DRAGONS

The more I re-watch the movies, the more I hate them; where as the more I re-read the books, the more I love them! If it were up to me, I’d recast and instead of making movies I’d make a mini-series on each book consisting of three to four one-and-a-half to two hour episodes, so it would be a lot closer to the original source material, and we could see a lot of the things missing from the movies; like Snape’s potion puzzle, the death day party, the Weasley’s swamp, etc.

If you knew the real me,
the one that stays up late thinking,
the one that has a hunger that can not be satisfied,
a thirst that can not be quenched,
would you still love me?
The one who’s mind travels anywhere but here at times.
The one that reads lips,
but hears nothing.
The one that wants to love,
but doesn’t want to commit to love.
That doesn’t know how to commit,
to love.
Would you still love the one that tries but fails,
time and time again?
Because they don’t understand?
That’s the real me.
The me you don’t know,
yet.
4

vfd boys + character posters

“When we drive away in secret, you’ll be a volunteer; so don’t scream when we take you: the world is quiet here.”

As much as I love the HP movies, I often find myself disappointed by how many things were left out of the books - especially the extra-long books like “Goblet” and “Order” - in order to condense them to movie-length. I sometimes wonder if a “Game of Thrones”-style multi-season series would have been a better adaptation. That said, I wouldn’t change anything about the cast.