“I see you, even when you hide from the rest of the world. I hear you, even when you’re silent.”
Gallowglass is my favorite character in this series…..did you know that it’s going to be a TV series???
I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up, yet it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself-as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I guess that lack itself is as close as I’ll come to defining myself.
Haruki Murakami, South Of The Border, West Of The Sun
“During one of the first shows the Chili Peppers ever played, we unleashed this power that we didn’t know that we had or knew existed. In this dark dingly room, someone was swinging a beer bottle over his head, and the erupting foamy beer formed a white halo. The image froze in my mind. I felt like I was floating and I was free from any pain earthly constraints. If you’re a street kid, like me, and you didn’t really have a funcional family at home, you searched for that sense of family and camaraderie elsewhere. I found it by making music with other street kids. Ultimately, it became a quest for love.” - Flea, 2014.
Flea photoshoot for the book The Art of Discovery by Jeff Vespa, ‘14.
Some days I have uncontrollable and unexplainable motivation to clean the entire house, finish all my homework, and get to sleep at a reasonable, dare I say, early, time. Other days an overwhelming feeling of nothingness and sadness overshadows everything good in my life. I want to pull down all the shades, listen to sad music, and wallow in self-pity and despair. Those are the two extremes of me. If someone close to me cannot accept that I can turn from day to night with the snap of my fingers, then they cannot accept me and do not deserve me. I do not come with a warning label, but if I did, it would read: subject to change at any given time and is not held responsible if you cannot deal with it.
2:58pm thoughts// reflective writing, some growth, some new realizations
The world is my place ,so many journeys i have reached ,so many feelings ,so many obstacles ,so many people i have cherished,thats me ,a woman with no home ,someone who tastes the joy of living,someone who cares…lands beyond were on my child’s dreams,i wanted to feel the other side,to explore borders,to tame oceans and continents and i did in some wonderful ways.I learned from experience that we are too small in a masterplan but we are united,bonded for a common desire..never turning back ,never giving up ,never die …my heart always desired eternal life,always desired to merge on this beautiful planet,my heart holds an Atlas,supporting ground and its creatures,this pearl ,this planet so alive is my home and yet after reaching so many places ,after reaching so wonderful targets there is a flame burning inside my deep being,a need to return to a place where i was born ,my land after all is waiting and this quest soon will be over ,soon i will return to the ground that led my footseps to cross Earth one day…now maybe sooner that i expect i will trace on charts a new path to rest till the day you will call me …
I really give credit to those who change for the better, who realize their own negative or toxic way of thinking has prevented themselves from moving forward or has prevented others from realizing their own potentials. True confidence does not come from knocking down other people but by encouraging those people to strive to be better.
No matter what happened in the past, you can change. You can improve. You can be better than the person you were yesterday and you can make a difference in your life. The ball is in your court.
And remember your dreams are valid; don’t make anyone feel they have the right to keep you from soaring too high into the sun.
It’s your flight, if they were so concerned about you getting burned they would have giving you sun block before you ventured out into the unknown. Only insecure people will try to clip your wings, before you even had the chance to know how far you could fly.
let me read you like a book — my favourite one of all. some of your pages are worn but i love those the most. some of your ink has been smudged and i wonder how it happened and i keep reading. i find out that someone once dropped your heart like it was nothing. i find out that you’re scared of not knowing what’s going to happen. and sometimes the writing is so small i can barely read it. like you’re trying to hide what happened to you. what made you so sad. or angry. or broken. sometimes the words seem to bounce off the page — the holiday you went on as a kid and your first kiss and the day you met me. let me read you like a book. let me unravel you. teach me how to read between the lines. show me all of the hidden chapters and pages glued together. every word you’ve ever crossed out. let me know you. all of you. let me read you and know you and love you. maybe i’ll let you do the same.
My name is Nia, and even though I’ve tried out having a studyblr before, I was finding it was more hindering than helping, so I deleted my last blog (new year new me thing I guess).
I’m a Sophomore at Portland Community College in Portland, OR. Art History major and Anthropology is my minor, hopefully I’ll be transferring to uni next year! I’m in the beginning process of teaching myself German, too. I also work part time at a make up store.
I’m an INFP, sorted into Ravenclaw and Thunderbird houses, I adore coffee and tea. I really love books but I haven’t read anything new recently, my favorite book is A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. I’m also genderfluid (they/them pronouns please!)