boogie kids

8

The San Fernando Valley in film 

Back To The Future (1985) - 535 N. Victory Blvd, Burbank 

The Karate Kid (1984) - 19223 Saticoy St. Reseda 

American Beauty (1999) - 20105 Saticoy St. Winnetka “Mr. Smiley’s” 

The Bad News Bears (1976) - 10500 Mason Ave. Chatsworth

Boogie Nights (1997) - 12036 Ventura Blvd. Studio City

Pulp Fiction (1994) - 20933 Roscoe Blvd. Canoga Park

Superbad (2007) - 1700 Victory Blvd. Glendale

Clueless (1995) - 5600 Vineland Avenue, North Hollywood

10

I think to be courageous, you have to be afraid. For me, it feels very courageous when I go skiing because I’m very, very afraid to ski. It’s dangerous! I feel very scared. But when I’m acting, I don’t feel very scared.

11/10/2017

Today I admitted to K that I only show up to his class on time because I’m in the same room for the class before his and I always show up to that class 20 minutes late on Fridays. He asked me why, and I said “Because I want to die on Fridays more than I do on any other day of the week.” He looked a bit uncomfortable. He knows that I’m depressed/sometimes suicidal, but I think statements like that don’t get less shocking even when you’ve heard them a lot. I have friends who are also depressed and when they say things like that it still shocks me even though I say things like that all the time.

After K’s class I was slow to leave as I was talking to a friend about how another professor invited me to play basketball today. I told my friend that I didn’t know how to play. My friend asked me “Do you enjoy it though?” And I said, “I don’t really like to move around a whole bunch. When I’m not doing work in the lab I’m usually laying in bed.” I said it jokingly because that’s how I speak, but it’s very true. K jumped in the conversation and said, “You REALLY should see a doctor about that.” This caught me off guard, but it really shouldn’t have. K has been encouraging me to see a counselor or psychiatrist these past few weeks. And I’ve been considering it, but I don’t have my health insurance card with me at school, and I don’t have any extra money to pay the copay right now. It was a wake up call though. This evening I scheduled a physical a week and a half from now, and I asked my parents for the money to cover it. It’s really embarrassing that I need money, but I only work during the summer and I can’t afford to pay for anything but tuition. I hope some good comes out of my doctor’s appointment though.

K has been in my case about my mental/physical health these past few weeks. Today he asked me, “Do you feel happy in your life though?” after I brushed him off about seeing a doctor. I had a breakdown in his office last Friday and I just started spilling my guts about how fucked up my life has been recently. I had a long panic attack. It was wild, I’ll post about that tomorrow, since I’ve already talked long enough today.

In conclusion, I’m hoping that my health will improve. If I could focus more and feel less tired constantly, my grades would improve and I might feel compelled to make sure I’m happier. K keeps telling me, “You deserve to be happy,” and I really, truly, want to believe him.

Additionally, I’m very new to the teacher crush community, but even in my past few days of starting this blog, I feel so much more okay about having feelings for my professor. You all have helped so much in feeling calmer about it, and I don’t feel like I’m stupid for having a crush on my professor anymore. So thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I feel less alone. 😊❤️