Sorry this took so long guys! You know the drill, I write everything in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning it probably will be rectified by the end but I already know what happens this epi, so, lol. This will contain anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Bamon, anti-Steroline, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. There will most likely be mentions of other shows and of the misogynoir and anti-blackness and racism in this narrative. If you do not like it, do not read. OK, ready? Let’s go!
1. “If you want my forgiveness, you’re going to bring Elena Gilbert
back to life” that line still makes me laugh because who the fuck cares
about your hand-me-down forgiveness, Damon. Also Elena isn’t dead. So
back to life my ass, it’s just waking her up.
2. I think it’s
funny that Cade is talking about how Damon is in limbo, “the space
between spaces” because my guy, that is JUST the Other Side.
No, see, the entire plot line with Cade and the Salvatores irritates me
because it’s so conveniently linked to Damon and Stefan. He is the devil
or the devil’s right hand man (since Katherine is the Queen of Hell for
some reason, right?) I don’t understand why he can’t just find the
weapon himself or get someone else to do it for him, there’s no reason
that it has to be Damon and it’s the problem when a villain keeps
making threats “Or I’ll drag you back to hell”, so then do it. At least
with Supernatural when Zachariah wanted Dean to do something and Dean
was like nah, Zachariah was like OK so what if I give Sam stage 4
stomach cancer? Or hey, how about if I take away his lungs? And we see
him inflict these tortures on Sam while Dean watches. Or Dean starts
off the season coming out of hell and we get flashbacks to what hell was
like for him and we find out how much it fucked him up so when Uriel
and Castiel threaten to throw him back into hell, it’s an actual real
threat because we’ve seen the effects and why he would be scared. This
whole thing with Damon is like … every time Cade says he’ll send Damon
to hell I’m like motherfucker, no you’re not or you would’ve DONE did
it by now, stop.
4. Kat and Paul look gorgeous together, like I just … seriously, they’re really beautiful people.
5. Bonnie being able to see Enzo is like Jeremy being able to see Bonnie and Elena hallucinating Damon. I’m bored.
6. Lol I’m sorry, that picture of Caroline and Stefan, their smiles are so tight.
I find it interesting that nearly every time Stefan is going to leave
town or stays in town it’s because of Elena. He comes back to MF to meet
Elena. In 1x09 he says he’s going to leave town to protect her but he
stays because in 1x10 she says she loves him and because Logan Fell had
just become a vampire. In 3x21 he tells Damon that if Elena chooses
Damon he’ll leave town, he stays because Elena became a vampire and
because she chose him. In 4x23 he’s going to leave town because Elena
chose Damon. And now in 8x14 he’s going to leave town but Elena is in
trouble so he stays. In 5x09 Katherine even made it a point to tell
Stefan that he stays in MF for Elena.
8. Caroline, isn’t it a bit premature to tell your toddler children that you might not marry Stefan?
LOL I do find it a bit weird that Kai would be singing at karaoke but
it’s made up for the fact that I could listen to Chris’ voice for hours
and Paul’s facial expression as Stefan watches Kai sing is HILARIOUS.
10. I like seeing Paul and Chris interact, they work really
well and really easily together although I don’t feel like I’m watching
Stefan and Kai, I feel like I’m watching a visual representation of a
Chris/Paul tweet conversation but it’s entertaining.
the show is doing some pretty tight close ups on Kai and Stefan, they
almost shoot them the way they shoot Klefan, I wonder if Klaus would be
12. I was literally like “why the fuck isn’t Damon
coming to save his human brother from being stabbed” and then Stefan
says, “What took you so long? and Damon says he went to put in a song. I
get that’s supposed to be funny but seriously it just once again shows
how fucking thoughtless Damon is, like you went to put in a song when
your human brother was going to head to head with a psychopath heretic
from hell? Fuck you, Damon.
13. Stefan didn’t actually say
that he wants to figure out if he wants to be with Caroline, though, he
legit said I need to figure out who I am and I need to do it alone. Like
14. Also where are the twins if neither she
nor Alaric are watching them in this scene? Like if they’re setting shit
on fire because of temper tantrums and are literally prone to blowing
each other up now, I would be around them all the time.
do like how Kai is like hey, hey! Maybe you should stop talking about
your love life and wonder wtf is happening with your kids? I mean I could help.
16. BE is basically DE.
I like how Stefan has, like, an actual plan to kill Cade but if you’re
going to kill him, will you not slash his arm and punch him and make
witty remarks, can you just stab him?
18. Because you see what happens, Alaric’s cell phone rings and he stops ringing the all important bell.
Really? Did they really make Stefan go, “DIE” as he’s trying to kill
Cade? I wonder if Paul was like, do I really have to say this though?
Can’t you give a line like that to Ian?
20. Oh so Damon killed himself to save Stefan and Elena. I mean I guess. He comes back to life anyway.
21. They’re making Kai really petty, like really, he’s this obsessed with killing two toddlers?
22. What does being psychic have to do with knowing Damon can hear him.
23. I can’t believe there’s a literal fight for Damon’s soul. OMG.
*SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER* So there’s this show/book called Outlander
about many things but at the centre of it, there’s a love story between
Jamie and Claire and throughout the series, Jamie makes these
declarations of love to Claire and says he’ll do anything for her, that
he’ll be her shield, he’ll die for her etc. and there’s this villain
called Jack Randall who is a sexual sadist and he has a particular
interest in Jamie who he nearly flogged to death years earlier,
basically Randall gets a hold of Claire and is going to kill her in
front of Jamie so Jamie offers up his body to Randall in exchange for
Claire’s safety and in that scene Randall nails Jamie’s hand to a table
and kisses him while Claire has to watch and then Claire is forced to
leave Randall and Jamie alone and in the next part we basically see the
rape and torture that Randall inflicts on Jamie over and over. A lot of
people had issues with that and asked the author why she felt the need
to show the brutal rape of Jamie and her response was this:
“So, OK. Throughout the book, we’ve seen that
love has a real cost. Jamie and Claire have built a relationship
through honest struggle, a relationship that’s _worth_ what it’s cost
them. This is the final challenge, and Jamie’s willing to pay what will
apparently be the ultimate cost.
Why would I throw that away? To have him
escape rape and torture (he–and we–_know_ what’s coming) by the skin of
his teeth would be to undercut his sacrifice, to make it of little
moment. (It would be like someone turning up in Gethsemane and telling
Christ, “Hey, buddy, you don’t _really_ have to do this. Come with me, I
got a secret way outta here…”)”
And this is what TVD fails to do
with DE. It’s one thing for Damon to be willing to go to hell for both
Stefan and Elena but Bonnie shows up and actually saves him from having
to undergo that threat and it undercuts his sacrifice because he didn’t
actually have to sacrifice anything, he just had to be willing and it’s
not impactful. So I’m not even a little moved by what Damon did because
he didn’t do anything first of all, second of all after everything he’s
done throughout 8 seasons why wouldn’t he choose himself, I mean, it’s
the least he can do.
25. “Bonnie, wake up”, Stefan can you check her pulse?
26. “That little psychic blast must’ve blew me into my body” that literally makes no sense.
27. Damon and Stefan sitting on Damon’s car, drinking is basically just Sam and Dean. Stop it.
So Alaric wants to open a poor man’s Hogwarts/Charmed “Magic School”
omg that is so lame and unoriginal. I also realize how lazy it was for
Charmed to call that academy “Magic School”.
29. “Someone who can
create a safe, supportive and loving space for kids … someone like
you” is that Caroline, though? I’m sorry but she doesn’t seem like any
of those things to Josie and Lizzie, she’s shrill and just tells them
to stop doing things, like I don’t know why she didn’t actually ask
Josie and Lizzie how they felt when their magic was going haywire, like
we don’t actually see her BE with them, she just scolds.
30. So I
actually like the proposal scene with Steroline, I think what Stefan
says to Caroline is sweet … I just don’t believe it. I just don’t
believe that everything he wants is there with her, I just don’t believe
that he loves her that deeply and Stefan doesn’t get here on his own
and he never gets to the romantic speeches with Caroline on his own and
it’s like … how do I explain this … when Stefan and Elena were going
through their separations, even if they were both doing something else,
I always got the impression that they were on each other’s minds, that
there was a struggle to stay away from each other but they were doing so
because they thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I never
get that with Steroline when they’re apart, it just feels like their
lives break off and there isn’t a residual connection there, it feels
like they’re perfectly fine being separated and their lives are easily
untethered so when Stefan comes back like MARRY ME, it doesn’t feel like
he’s stopped fighting what he wants and it doesn’t feel like he’s
wanted to do this all along and he’s finally just acting on it, it feels
like Damon said, “life isn’t going to get any better than you marrying
Caroline so marry her” and Stefan went “true.”
31. Also, every time
Candice and Paul kiss it really feels like they’re trying to use as
little lip as possible, like this was supposed to be a passionate, deep
kiss, like it was supposed to be this:
also people underestimate how sweet Mattoline could be, like I frankly never see Caroline look at Stefan like this:
but anyway, their kisses always look like they want to do the least possible and not open their mouths:
32. The Bonkai reunion was meh but someone told me the Grahamwood chemistry is gone and like, where? When Kai said “This is kinda hot” I believe he meant it.
and the personal satisfaction Bonnie gets from this:
she looks cheeky not like she has this vicious vengeance, like nah, the Grahamwood energy stays on point.
33. Finally, what anons kept asking me about, Katherine Pierce being the Queen of hell. I am going to admit something, I think the show and the characters gas Katherine way too much, she isn’t the baddest bitch of all, I don’t think the characters are toast because she’s running hell, I don’t even think she deserves to run Hell, she’s petty, it’s not like she has master plans that completely destroy lives, she just makes things inconvenient for the core group like *ugh* I mean I guess I gotta go fix Elena because she has venom in her system, like what were the major consequences of what she did in 5x15 to Elena? Elena didn’t see Damon for an entire episode and couldn’t sleep with him immediately. Getting Jenna to stab herself was rude but the major consequence of that is Stefan and Elena breaking up. She outted the Klaroline sex and it just fractured an already fractured relationship with Tyler. The worst thing she did was cause Jeremy’s death and that wasn’t even intentional, it was just like oh well … yeah, my bad, bye. Like she’s a mean girl on steroids, that’s kind of it, she isn’t like this Badass Villain that no one can top and OMG SHE RUNS HELL. I mean Rebekah caused just as much damage as Katherine did because they’re both petty.
Overall this episode was … one of the least offensive episodes of the season, I guess. No real strong feelings about it. Sorry it took so long to review, I hope it was worth the wait :)
Look at his unmoving right arm. He’s not letting her slip away…. and that confident face he has with her. And she looks so unbothered, right? I feel like he’d hyphenate so she could keep the Bennett name strong! He’d want to respect her lineage and a part of her would love to take his last name, because she loves him. So they’d hyphenate. You know for their children, and they’ll be a happy, human family🙏🏽