I met up with some girlfriends, and had an amazing lunch at Bonefish Grill. I have never been before, but I ordered the baja tacos, and didn’t even touch the bread and olive oil offered to us.
Also, I got to wear my other new dress. Everyone said I looked amazing and I felt it!
Afterwards, mom and I went to 5 Below and bought a few things, where I might add the male cashier told me he really liked my dress. 👍
After that we got some ice cream. I got key lime pie ice cream…omg it was amazing!
The rest of the day was low key. Mom hung out at my house for most of the day. We played with the cats, talked, and went through clothes that are too big for me. Oh, and we also went to the grocery store later to get a few things.
Anyways, was a well relaxed Saturday. I hope you all ha a fantastic day.
Oh, and P.S…..I tracked everything I ate today. Used up most of my weeklies, but I had been saving them for today anyways.
I figured I’d talk a little bit, since I don’t much on here, about certain phrases that come from bosses and employers that often need translation. Many of my millennial friends who are entering the workforce may be taken in by some of this wording, so here’s a quick guide.
“We’ll Take Care Of You” - Translation: “We know that the thing you’re working on is unreasonably difficult, but we’re not sure the guys in sales will be able to pitch it. Because it’s not making us any richer yet, you won’t be seeing any reviews, raises, bonuses or anything like that in the next few years, if ever. But, if Stan over in Marketing manages to lay off the Sunday cocaine binges, and happens to get a sale, don’t worry - Right along with the executives, who will get fat bonuses, and the marketing and management folks who will get promotions and raises, you will get a $10 gift card to The Spaghetti Factory. If we remember.”
“We’re in Start-up Mode / We need to have a Start-up Attitude” - Translation: “Sure, we’ve been in business for 7 years, and aren’t really a start-up, but you’re gonna be working long hours with no overtime pay or comp time, as if you were a founder on the ground floor. Except for the whole ownership part. We know the task is too big for one person, but hiring enough people to do the job would force me to have to choose between a BMW 7-Series and an Audi R8. And I really want the R8. Oh, and I’m gonna need you to come in this weekend.”
“We need all hands on deck!” - Translation: “You’re gonna be lifting boxes, doing office construction, and doing setup and teardown while I enjoy a nice round of golf and have an argument with my trophy wife at Bonefish Grill as to whether or not Shiraz pairs well with swordfish.”
“We have great workplace amenities!” - Translation: “There are sodas in the fridge and packs of ramen next to the folding table in the break room. There’s also a fold-out cot. I see no need for you to go home.”
“We’ll see, but first we need to set some goals for you.”- Translation: “The raise? No. But here are a bunch of arbitrary things I can put in your way so that you won’t ask me about it again for another two years.”
“You’re part of the company family!” - Translation: “Family, as in, don’t bring money or compensation into this. Family as in, you owe me favors. Haven’t I given you Jeans Thursdays and Pizza Fridays? The least you can do for me is come in over the holiday and crimp cables so that I don’t have to buy them. And don’t think this means you have job security. I brought you into this world, I’ll take you out of it, too.”
“We’re in a crunch right now.”- Translation: “I didn’t plan well, and, hey, looks like the goals for this project that engineering said was impossible turned out to be, well, impossible… I’m gonna invoke the Mythical Man Month and the Million Monkeys on Typewriters theories together and if I make everyone work triple, maybe I can save some face. What? Your daughter’s in the hospital with eye eating microscorpions? Sorry, no, we’re in a crunch right now.”
“You need to be more attentive in meetings.” - Translation: “I totally can’t afford to give you a good review, so I’m gonna put this here so that it ends up being only ‘satisfactory’. And we’ll just kinda status-quo on, with you having a vague but unidentifiable feeling of inadequacy because the only negative I could find was essentially an assessment that you don’t appear enthusiastic enough while sitting in a room at 8am while I talk for two hours.”
authors notes: sorry it took so long to post x :( && (Y/L/N) = your last name and (F/N) = your mother’s or father’s first name
“Sam! C’mon, we’re gone be late.” I grumble at the bottom of the stairs to Sam in our room. Waiting for Sammy to finish whatever he is doing, I flatten my dress of the fortieth time in ten minutes. It’s a coral colored flawy mid-thigh dress that I paired perfectly with my nude pumps. “You do realize it’s just a dinner with my parents, right? There’s no need to be dressed to perfection.” I call up to him, just as he appears at the top of the steps. His tall frame stands stiffly before he relaxes seeing me smiling up at him.
“God should I be this nervous?” He anxiously laughs.
“Don’t worry my mom already loves you-it’s my dad you should worry about,” I chuckle as Sammy climbs the steps before stopping on the third one from the bottom. “That didn’t help-sorry.” I mutter and Sammy smiles trying to hide his anxiety.
“You’ll be fine-” I step away from the stairs and he stands level with me again and he presses a kiss to my cheek.
“I know I will be, but I’m just terrified and now distracted,” he confesses.
“Why are you distracted?” I fix his collar and lay it fat against his buttoned up white shirt.
“You-and that dress. God damn…I wish I got ready earlier so I could have been pulling that dress clean off.”
“Classy Wilk, my dad would love that.” I swat his arm and he just smirks at me. I grab my keys and we head out the door towards my car. Hoping inside the white jeep, I release the clutch and we’re off to my moms favorite restaurant. Arriving at “The BoneFish Grill” I pull into a spot towards the back of the restaurant and Sammy just watches me intensely as I park.
“What are you staring at?” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth knowing it drives him crazy. He groans and finally I am somewhat happy with my parking job and I turn the ignition off. Stepping out my heels hit the pavement and I walk towards the hood of the car waiting for Sam.
“You’re gonna pay for that-”
“Pay for what?” I ask biting my lip again knowing exactly what he meant.
“That.” He points to my lip and I peer my eyes up at him. We walk in hand-and-hand and ask the waiter where our table is. Escorting us through the restaurant and to a back booth I see my bubbly mom and my stern father facing us.
“Oh fuck I’m gonna pass out, babe.” Sammy groans in my ear as we walk towards them.
“Try not to curse, but other than that you’ll be fine, trust me. They’re nicer than they look.” I smile at him and he tries to force a smile. Sitting down across from parents I greet both of them and Sammy shakes my father’s hand and smiles at my mother.
“Mrs. (Y/L/N),” Sammy smiles while sitting and grabbing my hand. “You look fantastic tonight-but don’t tell my mother that!”
“Please, call me (F/N). Sammy this is my husband (F/N).”
“So Sammy, (Y/N) has told me a lot about you but let’s hear it straight from the source,” My father interrogates folding his hands on his menu.
“Dad,” I interrupt. “Why don’t we order first?” My father nods in agreement and we all find our meals and order. Watching Sam out of the corner of my eye, I see his legs are bouncing up and down and his hands are shaking. I place a gentle hand on Sammy’s thigh to relax him. He smiles at me and I move my hand higher on his thigh my eyes remaining on the water in front of me. Sam moves his hands from the table to my hand that is still blushing his thigh. He grips my hand and whispers into my ear, “(Y/N) you’re going to regret this…stop now.” I take a sip of my drink and Sam releases my hand and I “accidentally” drag my hand across his lower region.
“Oops,” I giggle and take another sip of my water. My parents continue to talk to the waiter about the daily specials and seem totally unaware of our little moment across the table. Finally satisfied with their talk with the waiter, my parents turn their attention back to us and begin to question Sam.
“So Sammy,” my father starts. “(Y/N) has told us that you are involved in the music business. How do you like it?”
“I love it actually-” I feel his large hand on the part of my thigh that isn’t covered by my dress. “I can really connect to anyone who listens to it, and it’s something I can do with all of my friends.” Sammy concludes and his hand continues to work its way up my thigh pushing up my dress with it. I mentally thank myself for sitting on the inside of the booth against the wall where no one can see me. My parents continue to question Sam and I try to ignore his wondering hand, but it is impossible. His long fingers run against the inside of my thigh and my breathing hitches. I bite down on my straw and try to keep my eyes fixed on my parents. They seem unaware of what is happening beneath the table and they continue to talk.
“So (Y/N),” my mother turns the attention to me. “hows living with Sam been? Is he like your father where he leaves everything, everywhere?” I feel Sammy hook his index finger around the center of thong and drag it down, but yet he seems deep into conversation with my father. He seems so natural with all of this, I probably should be concerned with how easily this all comes to him. Finally I answer my mom with a petty answer of, “not all guys are the same, Mom!” I laugh and I feel Sam’s cool figures trace the inner parts of my thighs easing closer to my core. His index and middle fingers drag across my folds effortlessly and I bite down on my lip, trying to distract myself. Our meals finally arrive and Sammy quickly pulls his fingers away and I feel relieved yet unsatisfied. I fix my underwear discreetly before starting to eat my hummus. The dinner continues to progress slower by the second as my father and Sam get into deep conversation about some sports team making endless arguments about different things but ultimately bonding. While my mother and I talk about how we both like the same type of guy. She’s doing all the talking really, I’m mostly anxiously drinking my third glass of water while she rambles about how my father was so similar to Sam when they first started dating. I nod in agreement but I have no idea what her last words to me were. I’m just stuck on the idea of Sam effortlessly teasing me under the table and our meals interrupting it. Finally, I graze my hand over his thighs again hoping to gain some response from him. I get what I’m looking for when I see Sammy fist his jeans in his hand. We’re both pretty good at keeping our composure while my parents “interview” Sammy and catch up with me. Finally the dinner ends and my parents tell Sammy how lovely he is and my father makes sure to tell Sam not to hurt his ‘little girl’. I look down at my shoes and I notice Sammy still has a slight bulge. I walk out hand and hand with Sam and pray that my parents don’t catch on to his arousal. We wave my parents goodbye from across the parking lot and I hop inside my Jeep. Sam gets inside the car without a word and I start the engine.
“So my parents liked you-“ I say to Sam before going to pull out of the parking lot.
“Not so fast,” Sammy groans gripping my wrist. “We’re not going anywhere until you solve this little problem.” He glances down at his now tight pants.
“Yeah well it looks like you’re going to have to solve my problem too-the stupid meals interrupting everything.” I mumble the last part to myself while I turn the ignition off knowing we aren’t going anywhere as of right now.
“Well I have an idea that will solve both of our problems,” Sammy smirks and crashes his lips into mine. How classy.