bone damage

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

How do you tell an alien about the stuff we attach to our skeletons as a way of not letting a trauma fuck our bodies up? I mean, have you ever seen  a Fixateure externe? We bolt an external metal structure to an already damaged bone (and the other bones that need it for stability in the joint) so it’s at the correct lenght for mending itself without the boneends moving accidentally too far away and forming a pseudarthrosis.

Because you better believe our bodies will do that if left alone. It renders the bodypart effing useless.

Also, we sometimes just stick a titanium rod through hollow bones to fix them. Not getting in detail, but just imagine.

You are at the spaceport, and suddenly something weird shows up on one of the monitors. In a human body, so the possibility of the readings being accurate just went from no-way to oh-my-gosh-what’s-it-again. Anyway, you make your way to the waiting terran spacers. Ask if they are aware of there being a rather severe and concentrated metal-deposit in their… shoulder bone, clavicle your computer tells you it’s called.

You see the moment they understand, and most just start snickering and the affected human just starts… cursing… ‘alien airport detectors’.

They show you the medical papers shortly after that. You stare at them, turn your translator off and on again (a habit you picked up from a human acquaintance, actually…), then decide not to bother them anymore. You make a note of it and send it to your superior to do as they please. Because no. Protesis, even endoprotesis you can understand, but those are state-of-art medical devices. 

Not a piece of titanium in the bonemarrow.

What Science is Launching to Space?

The tenth SpaceX cargo resupply mission launched to the International Space Station on Feb. 18, and is carrying science ranging from protein crystal growth studies to Earth science payloads. Here’s a rundown of some of the highlights heading to the orbiting laboratory.

The CASIS PCG 5 investigation will crystallize a human monoclonal antibody, developed by Merck Research Labs, that is currently undergoing clinical trials for the treatment of immunological disease. Results from this investigation have the potential to improve the way monoclonal antibody treatments are administered on Earth.

Without proteins, the human body would be unable to repair, regulate or protect itself. Crystallizing proteins provides better views of their structure, which helps scientists to better understand how they function. Often times, proteins crystallized in microgravity are of higher quality than those crystallized on Earth. LMM Biophysics 1 explores that phenomena by examining the movement of single protein molecules in microgravity. Once scientists understand how these proteins function, they can be used to design new drugs that interact with the protein in specific ways and fight disease.

Much like LMM Biophysics 1, LMM Biophysics 3 aims to use crystallography to examine molecules that are too small to be seen under a microscope, in order to best predict what types of drugs will interact best with certain kinds of proteins. LMM Biophysics 3 will look specifically into which types of crystals thrive and benefit from growth in microgravity, where Earth’s gravity won’t interfere with their formation. Currently, the success rate is poor for crystals grown even in the best of laboratories. High quality, space-grown crystals could improve research for a wide range of diseases, as well as microgravity-related problems such as radiation damage, bone loss and muscle atrophy.

Nanobiosym Predictive Pathogen Mutation Study (Nanobiosym Genes) will analyze two strains of bacterial mutations aboard the station, providing data that may be helpful in refining models of drug resistance and support the development of better medicines to counteract the resistant strains.

During the Microgravity Expanded Stem Cells investigation, crew members will observe cell growth and morphological characteristics in microgravity and analyze gene expression profiles of cells grown on the station. This information will provide insight into how human cancers start and spread, which aids in the development of prevention and treatment plans. Results from this investigation could lead to the treatment of disease and injury in space, as well as provide a way to improve stem cell production for human therapy on Earth.

The Lightning Imaging Sensor will measure the amount, rate and energy of lightning as it strikes around the world. Understanding the processes that cause lightning and the connections between lightning and subsequent severe weather events is a key to improving weather predictions and saving life and property. 

From the vantage of the station, the LIS instrument will sample lightning over a wider geographical area than any previous sensor.

Future robotic spacecraft will need advanced autopilot systems to help them safely navigate and rendezvous with other objects, as they will be operating thousands of miles from Earth. 

The Raven (STP-H5 Raven) studies a real-time spacecraft navigation system that provides the eyes and intelligence to see a target and steer toward it safely. Research from Raven can be applied toward unmanned vehicles both on Earth and in space, including potential use for systems in NASA’s future human deep space exploration.

SAGE III will measure stratospheric ozone, aerosols, and other trace gases by locking onto the sun or moon and scanning a thin profile of Earth’s atmosphere.

These measurements will allow national and international leaders to make informed policy decisions regarding the protection and preservation of Earth’s ozone layer. Ozone in the atmosphere protects Earth’s inhabitants, including humans, plants and animals, from harmful radiation from the sun, which can cause long-term problems such as cataracts, cancer and reduced crop yield.

Tissue Regeneration-Bone Defect (Rodent Research-4) a U.S. National Laboratory investigation sponsored by the Center for the Advancement of Science in Space (CASIS) and the U.S. Army Medical Research and Materiel Command, studies what prevents other vertebrates such as rodents and humans from re-growing lost bone and tissue, and how microgravity conditions impact the process. 

Results will provide a new understanding of the biological reasons behind a human’s inability to grow a lost limb at the wound site, and could lead to new treatment options for the more than 30% of the patient.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

3

The Bloody Red Baron’s traumatic brain injury,

 The issue of head trauma and brain injury has been in the spotlight a lot lately, especially when it comes to sports and athletic injury, as well as auto accidents, job accidents, and of course, soldiers returning home from war.  Perhaps one recently recognized case of traumatic brain injury in history is Manfred von Richthofen, also known as the “Red Baron”.  One of the greatest combat fighter pilots of all time, the German ace helped form the foundation of aerial dogfighting.  He wasn’t the most skilled pilot, but he utilized tactics which made him the most dangerous airman of World War I, earning him 80 kills, making him the highest scoring and most decorated pilot of the war. Richthofen’s incredible success was mostly due to his strict adherence to a set rules governing dogfighting called the “Boelcke Dictums”, written by German flying ace Oswald Boelcke.  Today the Boelcke Dictums are holy gospel among fighter pilots, still taught to trainees in air forces around the world.

On July 6th, 1917, Richthofen suffered a gunshot wound to the head, damaging the frontal lobe of his brain.  Amazingly, the wound didn’t kill him, and he was able to land in friendly territory. He had to undergo several operations to remove bone fragments from his damaged brain, and was temporarily blinded and paralyzed. Amazingly, Richthofen made a quick comeback, spending only three months convalescing and healing, attempting to return to active duty in August but finally returning to the air on October 23rd.

Richthofen wasn’t the same after his head injury, and modern medical professionals  have looked over his case and determined that he could have suffered from a serious traumatic brain injury. He become disinhibited and compulsive, often making snap judgments and irrational decisions.  He also had less control over his emotions, becoming moody and depressed.  In his journals, his writing became more simplistic, disorganized, and nonsensical.  In the air, he became more and more reckless, taking more dangerous risks and ignoring the Boelcke Dictums which he had rigidly adhered to before.  It is was quite clear that Richthofen was suffering from head trauma (and perhaps battle fatigue) resulting in decreased cognitive ability. It is a good possibility that the Bloody Red Baron had lost his edge due to his injury.

On April 21st, 1918 Richthofen broke formation with his squadron to chase an Allied plane.  Flying mere hundreds of feet above the ground, Richthofen pursued the fighter deep into enemy territory, totally oblivious of enemy fighters diving on his six and a mass of anti aircraft fire rising from the ground.  Neurologists call this “target fixation”, a habit common among those suffering brain injuries where a person will fixate on a particular object or thing while losing awareness of his or her surroundings.   Richthofen sustained a mortal gunshot wound to the chest, going down and crashing.  He was buried with honors by British forces.  Today, most medical and military experts agree that the Red Baron would have never been allowed to fly again in any modern air force.

Okay But

Shouldn’t Evan have more than a broken arm?? Didn’t he fall from 30ft Oak tree??SHOULD BE severely injured. Even with cushioning from bushes etc. And he had to be bound to hit branches on the way down..
(I mean a fall from 48ft is a 50% chance of survival. Their is a chance he was going to live)
Plus he probably wasn’t going for survival (since he let go) and didn’t care for the proper way to land if you fall from a high height.
So
He couldn’t have only suffred from a broken arm. He should have either
Broken completely a either
Clean break or uneven break of both arms or one.
With Dislocated shoulder even tore a tendon (possibly)
A severe concussion (possibility)
If he did hit his head he should’ve been knocked out for a while.
And if he landed and hit the back of his head hard enough, he might have vision issues and or be temporally blind, or just vision issues.
Hip injuries or Back issues.
I mean he is a skinny teen so he is bound to have a easier time to break bones or at least damage them. Plus get severe bruising.
The average rate of a human body falling is
120mph. And that rate and hitting ground?? Man Evan is one lucky son of a gun.
Or he just drinks a lot of milk and foods to help his body get stronger… which as we know eats pizza and take out. (If he’s desperation enough to withstand the awkwardness)

Correct me if I’m wrong in anyway. I’m no doctor obviously.

Out of all the shit Hannibal pulls, somehow the thing I have the most difficulty accepting is the stunt with the bone saw. I don’t know why, except probably that the intimacy that they shared directly leading up to that (before Will tried to pull his own stupid fucking stunt) is so profound and beautiful. It feels like closure on the conflict but then ten minutes later they are back at it, and escalating with every round.

I’d like to be able to convince myself that Hannibal wasn’t going to go through with it, and I’ve looked for little signs that he was hesitating (say that he apparently hadn’t applied enough pressure to actually damage the bone at the point when he was stopped) or glad to be given an excuse to stop (how easily he surrendered to Mason’s hired guns, when we’ve seen him chew through half a dozen armed FBI agents without a breaking a sweat before) but I’m not sure that’s entirely honest. 

I feel like I need to accept that once that ball started rolling, Hannibal wasn’t going to be able or willing stop it. But I’d love to be told I’m wrong.

-inspired by therealdeepsix’s meta on The Winter Soldier’s/Bucky’s arm by ussecretlittleartists now cptsassrogers

Edit: This is no longer up to date with my current headcanons for the WS’s arm.

Showcasing the extensive bone damage that had to be replaced due to his metal arm.

“The bones are another matter. Clearly all the bones in the arm proper have been replaced with metal, but the shoulder also contains the scapula (shoulder blade) and clavicle, which are bisected at the scarring point. It would make the most sense to me that the clavicle has been replaced entirely with a metal one, and the scapula is probably at least capped with metal. This would be to reinforce the bones to protect them from the jarring impact of punching someone/thing with a metal arm.”

-therealdeepsix

[2/? series exploring the anatomy of the Winter Soldier’s arm]

Part One: Muscle Damage-Front View

Part Three: Muscle Damage-Posterior View

Part Four: Outer Plating and Subduction Zones

Part Five: Pneumatic Artificial Muscles (PAMs)

Part Six: The ‘Tensing’ of the WS’s Plating 

I apologize if these colors are off on your screen.

Piece Dude!

so as you may have guess from screen shots, the Legend of Bumbo revolves around a very familiar core mechanic when it comes to combat, a match x puzzle game formula. 

im Bumbo the formula is a match 4 setup that revolves around the “movement points” that you have based on your characters dexterity… but we will cover all this, along with combat in a later post.

what today’s post is about is the 6 main puzzle pieces, how they are used and how they play into the games theme.

thematically Bumbo arranging these pieces of garbage/remains is a play off of the black arts. rearranging entrails and bodily fluids into specific patterns to cast spells and curse your enemies is really whats going down here… but they look cute so most will forget about this theme quickly enough.

in Bumbo matching 4+ of any specific colored piece will instantly remove them and give you a specific amount of colored mana equal to the number of pieces removed. this mana can then be used to activate spells/items you start with and collect along your journey, but each specific piece will also combine to become a “puzzle spell”. 

Puzzle spells are specific for each piece type and will grow in power the higher number of pieces you combine to create them. (ie. matching 4 bones will combine them into a low damage femur bone that is thrown at a specific enemy. combining 6 will create a skull and going above and beyond will summon a giant skeletal demon to rain hell down on everything in the room!)

here is a basic break down of each piece and its purpose.

Bones- white mana - offensive

matching 4 bones will create a thrown femur bone that can target one enemy doing minor damage.


Teeth-  Black mana - offensive

matching 4 teeth will create a large dead tooth that can be thrown at specific enemies much like bones. 


Hearts - red mana - defensive 

matching 4 hearts will heal your character by ½ a heart.


Poop - brown mana - defensive 

matching 4 poops will create a small poop wall that can withstand one attack from an enemy before being destroyed.


Booger - green mana - defensive

matching 4 boogers will create a large snot ball that can be thrown at enemies to immobilize and negate their attacks.


Pee- yellow mana - wild card

matching 4 pee drops will give the player +1 movement point to use for this turn, but can also be utilized to charge items.


each character starts with mana specific items that push the player to explore different strategies puzzle wise, and each found items mana activation cost will rarely be the same, forcing the player to use many different tactics not only when it comes to how they approach enemies but also how they interact with each puzzle board. 

there are quite a few other puzzle pieces we will go over later, but these are the meat and potatoes of what you will be working with, especially in the games early chapters.

in my next post ill talk about items and combat ( the fun stuff! ) and maybe you’ll start to get a better idea of how bumbo and isaac connect… 

till next time! 

Some post war atla headcanons because I’m a slut for this show:

  • anytime katara makes sea prunes, only sokka and zuko eat them… sokka because he likes them and zuko because he’s maybe a teeny-weeny bit afraid of what would happen if he didn’t
  • when the gaang comes to visit the fire nation, zuko insists they sleep outside in the gardens by a fire so that it feels like old times 
  • zuko never paid attention in his science classes and knows very little about how volcanoes, the main geographical formation of his country, actually work
  • but zuko loved arithmetic and history and often gets into it with sokka over who knows the most facts
  • these arguments generally dissolve into some kind of showing of brute strength, after which, katara is called upon to heal bruised tail bones and damaged egos
  • zuko’s temper never really cools, no matter how many times he says he’s chill
  • katara often tells him to go jump in a river when he gets too heated
  • suki and zuko have competitions in stealth and agility. zuko teaches her how to use dao swords and suki teaches him about fans
  • but the fact remains that zuko burned down suki’s village and because of this, he’s never allowed to win any of their contests
  • sokka threatens him with space sword if he tries to win
  • zuko did, however, visit kyoshi again and commissioned a new, bigger statue of avatar kyoshi to be built. he also tried to ride the unagi with aang was subsequently tossed around (katara had to heal his bruised tail bone and damaged ego, per usual)
  • suki begrudgingly admitted that this kinda, sorta made up for his rampage all those year ago
  • the longer zuko’s hair gets, the more everyone realizes that his hair is a little wavy
  • zuko is very irritated by this fact but katara insists that he’s lovely and also insists on braiding flowers into it
  • toph lived in the palace with zuko for several years and declared herself honorary fire lady for putting up with his shit
  • zuko got her an honorary fire lady crown for her thirteenth birthday because he’s a dork like that
  • toph, katara, and suki often go to the spa together. toph tries to act like she hates it, but everyone knows the truth
  • upon his first visit to the fire nation palace, sokka orchestrated the complete renovation of the entire thing, claiming zuko needed more light/windows/paintings and less ozai ooginess
  • zuko has special smiles reserved for all his friends - the soft, sensitive smile for toph, the oaf grin for sokka, the lopsided, rubbing the back of his neck, blushing smile for katara, the cocky smirk for suki, and the unsuspecting little smile for aang
  • on the unsuspecting smile for aang… these two are besties but like zuko doesn’t realize how much aang actually likes/looks up to him. aang often says things or makes these sly compliments about how smart/great/cool zuko is and it’s not until five minutes later that zuko realizes what aang said 
  • aang and zuko are both ladies’ men. aang basks in it but zuko is oblivious. sokka is jealous but also not jealous because he has suki
  • aang often makes little fire dragons and dances them around zuko’s head for entertainment during important meetings
  • katara often douses zuko’s councilmen with tea in said important meetings because she finds them infuriating. zuko loves this about her
  • katara let it slip that she loves pink peonies and zuko immediately planted them all over the palace grounds despite his groundskeeper’s claim that pink was not fire lord-y
  • zuko actually looks good in the color blue
  • if and when zuko manages to sneak up on katara from behind, his go to catch phrase is i’ll save you from the pirates
  • suki thinks this is some kind of dirty joke while the rest of the group just doesn’t get it. zuko and katara smirk because it is a dirty joke

ok… those last few turned into zutara headcanons but bye. 

anonymous asked:

"You need to go"

“You need to go.” 

Natasha looked up briefly from where she was working to bypass the electronic lock on Clint’s cell. 

“Shut up,” she hissed. Then more gently, “Save your strength.” 

Clint blinked sluggishly and shifted awkwardly in the metal chair he was bound to. 

“You need to go,” he said again, more forcefully. 

“Not without you,” she shot back, cursing when her hand slipped and the locking mechanism sparked but didn’t release. 

“I can’t walk, Nat,” Clint insisted. “You need to go while you still can. Finish the mission.” 

Natasha’s eyes drifted involuntarily to Clint’s thighs. Both had messy, bloody bandages wrapped around them. She had heard the gunshots during Clint’s interrogation. She could only hope the bastards had missed the bone and only damaged meat and muscle. 

“I’ll carry you if I have to,” she argued. “I’m not leaving you.”

Clint sighed meeting her eyes with his one working eye, the other was swollen shut. 

“Would you leave me?” she countered quietly. 

Something in Clint’s expression softened. 

“Never,” he admitted. 

“Then don’t ask me to,” she pleaded. 

He sighed again and nodded. Natasha blew out a breath and focused back on her task. It felt like hours, but only took her a couple of minutes for the lock to finally spring open. 

She had him free moments later and then paused, pressing her forehead against his. She could do this. She had to.

“Natasha…”

Don’t say it. I will kill you myself if you do. I’m not leaving you.”

“I’m too heavy.” 

She pulled back, glaring at him in challenge. 

“You doubting me?” 

“Never,” he assured. “I just don’t want you to die here too.”

“Nobody’s dying but them,” she declared, pressing her gun into his hand. “Cover me,” she ordered. Then without hesitating, she hefted him into a fireman’s carry. Her back protested immediately, but she pushed the ache away. 

They were getting out of here. Together. 

anonymous asked:

1 and jace wayland thanks !

Jace Wayland - “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”

You could barely keep your eyes open and you leaned on your elbow while you tried to finish your breakfast. You weren’t hungry either. You were only terrified that all of a sudden a weird and scary thing would show up out of nowhere. Again. If you had managed to get any sleep, you would have had nightmares, you were sure about that.

“Hey…” Jace walked into the kitchen and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Your mother let me in.” He answered the question before you could ask him and you nodded. “Everything okay?”

You raised your eyebrows and wondered what okay meant in his book. Of course you weren’t okay. You were almost killed by a slimy scary monster with tentacles and you had only known that because Jace Wayland had killed him. You already regretted that you had asked him how the thing really had looked like. Now you couldn’t shake the image anymore and your own rich imagination had probably made it look even worse than it actually did.

“You’re not in shock, are you?” Jace waved his hand in front of your face when you didn’t answer and he let out a relieved sigh when you shook your head and raised your eyebrows.

“I don’t have a scratch or broken bone. Just a damaged mind, but I already had that, so I suppose I can live with that.” You forced your lips to curl up and Jace sat down in the seat next to you without smiling back. “Thanks for saving my hopeless ass and thanks for describing so vividly what you saved me from.”

“You asked for it!” Jace raised his voice a little and you rolled your eyes once more.

“You could have tried to make it a little cuter and a little less terrifying and you could have tried to make it sound like those things are not around every corner and most likely will never show up again ever in my life.” You tried once more to take a bite from your bread, but the smell already made you feel slightly sick.

“You wanted me to lie to you? Really?” Jace placed a hand on yours.

“No, I didn’t want you to lie to me.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Just glamouring up the truth a little or something like that.”

“I still call that lying.” He shook his head and he squeezed your hand slightly. “I’m sorry that this demon came after you. I’m sure he figured out that I like you.” Jace’s cheeks starting blushing and you licked your lips. Jace was not the type of guy to be vulnerable and breakable and that’s why you could imagine being able to sleep again in the future when you could sleep next to him. If someone could protect you, it would be Jace.

“I’m sorry too, especially because I actually happen to like sleeping, but I’m afraid that’s ruined for quite some time now.” You sighed and turned your face to Jace.

“You didn’t sleep?” He raised his eyebrows and you shook your head.

“All of a sudden I understood why some girls really want a knight in shining armor to protect them from the monster under the bed, although I don’t think they know how literally that monster can be.” You tried to relax a little, but your muscles were still tensed.

If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.” Jace curled his lips up into a small encouraging smile.

“Good, in that case I want you to sleep next to me for the rest of my life.” You smiled back at him and Jace grinned.

“That won’t be a problem.”

Foolish (2)

Change of pace. Did you know that I made an unofficial sequel to Foolish and never posted it?

… oops.

Part one can be found here.

Warning: Ink starts thinking too much as he realizes he has a thing for Dream. Proceed with caution.

I have no idea if I plan on writing more of this.

Keep reading

Mine and mine alone (Part-2)

Summary: Underswap Papyrus was looking for his brother whom got kidnapped by some glitched version of Sans. However, along the way, he wasn’t counting on getting kidnapped himself.



The orange aura faded around him. He left scorched marks upon the snowy ground and heck some of the snow melted around him.
That took a lot of energy for him and his vision was rather a blur for a moment. Papyrus blinked his eye sockets several times trying to figure out where he is as he held his head. Once the blur faded he….was in Snowdin??

“No! Nononono! Did I just teleport myself just outside!?” Papyrus said in frustration as he shakily got up. He couldn’t believe he failed! Yet…..something felt….different.

“Wait….the energy of this place…” He looked around. The surrounding atmosphere felt…darker. “I…” It took a moment for him to fully let it sink in.

“I really did go to another dimension!” He looked at his hands for a moment mostly in slight disbelief. But soon he remembered why exactly he had to teleport to another dimension. He had to find his brother! He had to find Sans!

Papyrus pulled his hood over his head and began to walk. Leaving a trail of foot prints on the snow. He didn’t know where he was going but he won’t get anywhere if he just stood there.




The short skeleton finally made it to where he saw the sudden burst of light. He pushed through bushes and broke a few branches. Not really giving a crap that it injured him a few times. He saw the ground slightly roasted and the snow practically melted away.

The short skeleton knelt near and took his glove off for a moment. He hovers a hand over the burnt ground…..

…Someone was indeed just here. The ground still felt warm.

“Heh…Whoever came here obviously just arrived.” He smirked. Sharp teeth poking out. Sans got up and placed the glove back on his hand. “When I find em there as good as dead!” He didn’t care who it was. He needed something….anything! Anything just to let his anger out….or someone….He didn’t care who this someone was.

Sans noticed the trail of footprints. “Mweh heh heh! Someone’s not good at covering there trails~” He spoke in an eerie sing song tone. He soon followed the trail of prints. He summons a sharp bone spinning it as he was dead set to impale someone.

I’m gunna fiiiind youuuu~ And then I’m gunna KILL YOUUUU~!!



Papyrus kept walking along. Hands in pockets. If this place was Snowdin, or…his Snowdin, then the town itself should be just up ahead. He walked down the path thinking to himself. Could Sans really be here?

Sans…He has to be here right? My magic didn’t just take me to some random world. At least I hope not.” He thought to himself.

He just stopped for a moment to think. Unaware though that someone was catching up to him from behind. Sans soon found whom he was looking for. His attire was clearly nothing like the monsters around here. Everyone was mostly wearing reds and blacks. Sans’s smirk widens into a full on devilish grin. He wants to get the jump on the other so he quickly hid himself without making any noise. He’s gotten better at sneak attacks.

He had been training hard since he lost his brother. He needed something to get his mind off things so he’d been pushing himself along with Alphys. Just thinking about it again fueled his fury but he remained patient and sneaky. He needed a close hit. Just enough so the other couldn’t get the chance to dodge.

He began carefully making his way closer. Papyrus still had his back turned. He then started walking again. He didn’t exactly sense the coming danger due to his energy being weak. He hoped he could get it back since he was still rattling a bit from it. It took quite a lot to teleport through another dimension. He gave a sigh.

“Damn, I better find a place to refuel. I just hope Sans will be alright.” He told himself hunching a little over due to slight dizziness kicking from the magic drained. Pap saw a large boulder he could sit on for just a moment. He wanted his brother back but if he ends up fighting that glitched skeleton again he’s going to need as much energy as possible. Giving a light sigh he sat down and thought over his options for now.

“How will I even get him back? I need to be careful though of those damn strings of his…” He growled as his left eye flares a bit of orange. “No…no use getting angry about it. I need to save a large amount of my magic. I need to be ready.” Papyrus told himself. However a snapping sound caught his attention. He quickly gets up and looks around.

“….! Whose there!?” He saw no one. He was quite alert for a moment. His left eye sparked viciously refusing to let his guard down.

Sans gave a low growl. Though judging by the aura he emanated the other clearly had magic. He was becoming impatient. He soon shot a bone from the bushes straight to Papyrus. Pap saw the incoming bone, surprised yet quickly dodged it as it impaled a tree.

Pap turn to the direction of where the shot came from but Sans already quickly changed his position. Pap heard bushes rustle from the other’s movements. Sans wasn’t even being sneaky anymore. He shot more bones with sharp ends. Despite his weakened state Pap could still dodge the attacks as fast as he can.

“What the Hell!?” He shouted dodging and finally firing back. He’s low on magic but he had to defend himself somehow! Sans saw this and knew in an instant the other was a skeleton perhaps. He looked back but he couldn’t get a good look at who it was. He was able to easily block the weak fired bones though with his own shots. Papyrus dodged again but he was getting slightly tired and could only dodge half way as the bone tore through his jacket and impaled the ground.

He gasped at the near impalement but kept his eyes on the direction of the shots. Quickly catching only a glimpse of what seems to be a small figure. Sans fired once again but Pap dodged yet again as fast as he could. Magic getting quite weak and his movements began to slow down.

Sans took the advantage analyzing his prey’s movements like Alphys taught him. “Good! Your getting weak…” Sans shot fast right at Papyrus’s leg. Pap’s eyes widen trying to catching his breath but attempts to dodge fast as the attack came.

Pap let out a muffled scream of pain as his leg received a large cut. “AGH!” He held it as it bled out. This was Sans’s time to strike at front. He still hadn’t seen who the figure even was. Sans summoned a long whip like a spine which connect to a sharper dinosaur head. Pap looked over seeing the other was getting close with a large whip made of bones.

He tried to move to dodge. “AGHHN!” He looks down seeing the damages done to his cracked and bleeding fibula.

MWAH HAHAHAHAHAA!!” The other laughed maniacally. “What’s wrong!? Does it hurt? Don’t worry, I’ve got something ta ease the pain!!” Papyrus looked up hearing the other’s maniacal laughter and quickly he he tried to leap away with his good leg. Only to be shocked once the other was close enough for Papyrus to recognize.

“S-Sa–AAAAAHHHHH!!!” Pap screamed as the sharp end of Sans’s whip connected to his ribs leaving a slash mark across. Pap fell to the ground shuddering in pain as his arms folded across his damaged ribs and sternum.

Sans walked close and practically pressed his foot harshly onto Papyrus’s injured leg. Causing a scream to irrupt from Papyrus.

Sans cackled as his whip vanished and in replacement was a sharp bone. “Mweh heh heh! How pathetic! You barely even put up a fight! Your pretty boring, that’s for sure.” Pressing his foot more threatening to break his leg. Papyrus screamed and struggled.

“That’s it…SCREAM! No one’s gunna hear you~ Now, before I kill you…I might as well take a good look at your face. A face full of pain and fear” He mocked him as he pointed the sharp end of the bone near his neck. Papyrus inhaled sharply through his nose hole. Sans flip the bone removing the hood.

His red starred eyes shrunk as he dropped his bone to the ground backing up in shock. “No….” He gasped.

…S-Sans….” Papyrus said panting weakly as the other moved away from him. Though, the amount of pain and blood lost was getting to him.

The last thing he heard was the other saying.

P-PAPYRUS!?” In a shocked tone.

Then…..everything went black….He soon lost consciousness.


Okay here is the second part of the fic! Not much more ta say than that XD You probably already guessed Swapfell Sans is crazy. Fic was inspired by  @imjustalazycat ‘s comic. 

Part 1: http://skelly-lover.tumblr.com/post/161577660519/mine-and-mine-alone-part-1

Part 2: You are here!

Part 3: Coming soon

2

Requested Anonymously

This was just meant to be a sweet little piece of fluff and it turned into a GREAT BIG CHUNK OF FLUFF because I couldn’t help myself. Also, all quotes from The Princess Bride are written by William Goldman and do thusly belong to him.


The Doctor was angry. Very angry. Not at you, but just at… the situation. You were sick, you see. If you had developed cancer, he would have been able to cure you. If you had contracted some rare tropical disease, he would have had that covered, too. Broken bones, muscle damage, third-degree burns, paper cut? He would have had everything under control in no time at all. You wouldn’t even have had time to realize that you were in pain. But you didn’t have any of those things.

You had the flu. A silly strain of simple, stupid, human flu. And there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

Keep reading

Pain’s an old friend.
— 

Doctor Stephen Strange

@areyofstarshine pointed out to me that Doctor Strange is a superhero that lives with chronic pain, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since.  All those broken bones, those damaged joints–he’s human, after all, and prone to the frailties we all share.  I’m imagining the kind of pain one feels in a healed bone, years & years after the injury is past; the way that damp & cold & even changing air pressure can affect it. Are those pins permanently in place?  Such pain In his hands, his most vital instruments outside of his brilliant mind.  Certainly he could use magic to alleviate it–but never at the expense of where his magic is meant to be directed, in service of mankind & the multiverse.

It really tugs at the ‘ole heartstrings, doesn’t it? And you can bet that, though Strange may never speak of it aloud, Benedict–consummate Actor that he is–will carry that sad fact in mind as he continues his portrayal in future films.

Words Hurt

Requested by Anon

Trigger Warnings: Fat shamming, self esteem issues 

The old saying that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words could never hurt me was a total lie. Words could hurt and break you worse then sticks and stones. At last broken bones and bruises heal.

The damage words cause, stay with you forever. My dad broke me at an early age. “Fat ugly cow! No man will ever want you!” “God you’re disgusting! Why can’t you be thin like you’re sister?” 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I'm guessing it's a necessary thing to use like calcium? I feel bad cause I didn't know and they haven't been taking it (and mine are also adopted and I don't think the previous owners had it either). I'll start it ASAP but do you think they'll be alright?

Yes.  Calcium is absolutely vital and you should start supplementing with calcium/calcium+D3 ASAP.  I can’t say if your reptile will be ok or not; I’m not a vet and, even if I was, I’d need to personally examine the animal before making any diagnosis.  A vet visit is your best bet, so you can know the severity of your pet’s metabolic bone disease and the proper steps in treating it.


Thanks for sending this in; this is actually a topic I feel we don’t talk about in enough detail.  People quote “you need twice as much calcium as phosphorus!” without understanding what this actually entails and WHY it’s important.  



[CUT HERE]

[edit so i can’t do cuts in ask, woops, but anyway beyond here we GET INTO A SCIENCE)

Relationship to Phosphorus aka “Why are we talking about a non-calcium thing when we’re trying to talk about calcium?”


Ok, so the first step to understanding the importance of calcium is to talk about bones.  First step in THAT is to stop thinking about bones as fixed.  They’re not an unchanging system; they’re constantly in flux, always either releasing or absorbing calcium as necessary, normally in relation to how much calcium is in the serum around bones.  When there’s not enough calcium in the serum, bone releases some.  When there’s a lot of calcium just floating around, bones are able to use it.


Bones themselves are made of calcium phosphate.  In order to form calcium phosphate, a phosphorus molecule needs to attach itself to one calcium molecule.  Thus bone is born! But wait.  We need calcium for ALL KINDS OF STUFF in the body!  It’s used to moderate the heart rate, the nervous system, the absorption of OTHER minerals… so the bones start worrying and will RELEASE calcium from themselves, which eventually makes them all spongy and fragile.  This eventually leads to a form of MBD (metabolic bone disease).  Yes, there are different types of MBD (more on that in a bit).  This particular one is called Osteomalacia and is the most common in reptiles.


I’d  like to make it clear that phosphorus is not bad; we shouldn’t try to eliminate that from a reptile’s diet, since it plays important parts in almost all of a body’s processes. The best thing we can do is make sure a reptile has plenty of calcium to spare.


With this in mind, the best ratio of calcium to phosphorus is 2:1.  We need twice as much calcium as phosphorus in our reptiles’ diets (with the notable exception of snakes; their meals are naturally very high in calcium, so they don’t need help.  Go, snakes!).


How do reptiles in the wild handle this?

In many different ways!  Non-basking reptiles handle it by consuming a wide variety of prey, including many that are high in calcium.  We’re talking 40 or more species PER DAY.  We simply can’t match that in captivity.  Vegetarian or omnivorous species consume many different plants.


Basking—-and non-basking, to an extent—-deal with this by sitting around in the sun and absorbing UVB rays, which helps metabolize vitamin-D3.


Vitamin D-what?


D3, D2, all sorts of D’s just flying around!  Vitamin-D3 is more properly known as cholecalciferol. It’s bound within serum protein and transported to the liver, where it’s metabolized into another form (1,25-dihydroxycholecalciferol), which is actually usable by the reptile.  Reptiles who have access to UVB can make their own vitamin-D3, which has been superior to calcium D-3 that’s included within a diet (Bernard, et al).  Now that the reptile has a nice dose of vitamin-D3, it can use calcium more effectively. Basically, it helps make calcium more usable.


Honestly, the best thing is natural sunlight.  So far, we haven’t created a perfect UVB bulb.  This is actually why I suggest that animals who require a lot of UVB (tortoises come to my mind first because of their unique needs; they can’t absorb UVB through their shells and are prone to being burnt by bulbs that are placed too close to them) are kept in outdoor pens at least partially.  


But since a lot of reptiles aren’t appropriate for outdoor pens, it’s up to the owner to research their needs.  A diurnal reptile who lives in the desert is best kept with 10-12% UVB, while a reptile who’s nocturnal or lives in a thick jungle environment does better with 2-5% UVB.


UVB may not be appropriate for all reptiles.  Albino geckos, for example, may suffer eye damage. Use your knowledge.  


There’s a particular rumor going around that vitamin-D3 is ‘easily overdosed’.  I have yet to see a single substantiated case of vitamin-D3 overdose.  While it’s theoretically possible, it’s highly unlikely.  I personally have seen way more MBD cases than even POSSIBLE vitamin-D3 overdoses.  



Ok, so how much calcium, calcium-D3, and multivitamins do I use?

It strongly depends on your reptile!  Baby and juvenile reptiles require calcium with every meal, multivitamins once a week, and D3 at LEAST every other meal.  I usually give my adults calcium every other meal, multi once a week, and D3 once a week (depending on species and UVB availability).


So… what about those OTHER MBDs you mentioned?

I’m only going to touch on these because most aren’t commonly seen in reptiles.  


Osteoporosis – if you’ve lived through the 90’s, you probably remember those Got Milk commercials where they claimed milk would prevent this.  This… isn’t entirely true since true osteoporosis isn’t caused by a calcium deficiency, exactly; it’s caused by a protein deficiency and can be more accurately attributed to lack of movement.  Reptiles who are kept in extremely confining shelters are prone to this.  


This is a risk of those ‘minimum-space’ racks.  You can prevent this by providing plenty of space for reptiles to roam and lots of things for it to interact with (climbing branches, digging places, swimming areas for appropriate species, etc).  


Secondary Nutritional HyperparathyroidismThis starts when the calcium levels in the serum are too low.  The thyroid is stimulated to produce parathyroid hormone (PTH).  This in turn causes the bones to release calcium, phosphorus, and vitamin-D3. Calcium becomes more easily absorbed in the gut.  Once again, bones are robbed of calcium and there’s simply not enough calcium to replace it.


Many of these conditions are entirely preventable simply by providing the right sort of diet and UVB exposure.


Shit, I think my reptile has MBD.  What do I do?

Go to a vet.  As I said before, I’m not a vet.  I can’t diagnose or treat your pet.  If caught early, MBD IS treatable.  Some bone damage may even be reversible.  It’s treated by calcium in various forms (some forms are more easily usable than others), injections, and UVB exposure.  It’s a plan you’re best off discussing with your vet.  


Sources:

Bernard, J.S., O.T. Oftendal, P.S. Barboza, M.E. Allen, S.B. Citino, D.E. Ullry and R.J. Montali. (1991) The response of vitamin D deficient green iguanas (Iguana iguana) to artificial ultraviolet light. Proc Am Vet 1991:147-150.


Frye, Fredric F. “The Importance of Calcium in Relation to Phosphorus, Especially in Folivorous Reptiles.” Nutritonal Society. Cambridge University Press, 1 Feb. 2001. Web. 21 Jan. 2017. <https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/proceedings-of-the-nutrition-society/article/div-classtitlethe-importance-of-calcium-in-relation-to-phosphorus-especially-in-folivorous-reptilesdiv/1CA93A72A18AA800D3FF9ACD2A234411>.



Center for Avian And Exotic Medicine - https://avianandexoticvets.com/metabolic-bone-disease-in-reptiles/