“I might not understand your grief. Your rage. Everything that led you here…but I know all about solid bonds!! And my friends don’t use each other…because friends don’t eat friends.” ★ Cute and ShyAmajiki Tamaki ★ | AKA: Sun Eater | (๑´•ω • `๑) ♥ ↳ requested by anonymous
Aliens finally visit the death-world itself only to discover humans are about to encourage a Galaxy-wide tourist boom.
Earth was off-limits.
For all the many worlds and species found within and between them, this was a line held by all. Earth, and the humans that called it home, was just too dangerous and unpredictable.
It didn’t stop the humans from spreading though. They found their way onto ships and spaceports. Treaties, codes of conduct, and guidebooks followed in their wake to help the civilizations they encountered to cope with their presence. In time, most came to view their oddities an acceptable trade-off to their durability, flexibility, and overall tenaciousness. All races could agree that humans were an asset to their ships and crew.
But Earth itself was still off-limits.
Oh, it wasn’t for lack of trying on the humans’ part. They were perpetually inviting their ship-mates to come to their home-world. Most often to indulge in one of the numerous and varied ‘holidays’ that most non-terrains gave up on trying to make sense of long ago.
For most intelligent and civilized species, humans themselves were enough proof that no one should set foot, tentacle, or exoskeleton on the planet known as Earth. However, as with all reasonably agreed upon ideas, someone was bound to cross the line.
It started simply enough. A new ruler from the Tralnex nebula, seeking to solidify their own position, and gain some interstellar bragging points, requested a visit. The Tralnexian was welcomed with open arms and treated to the very best of all that Earth had to offer in lavish locations, cultural experiences, and exquisite cuisine. Holo-ads of the trip could soon be seen everywhere, all proudly sponsored by the Earth Visitation Bureau. It was the scandal of the century.
While normally such flamboyant occurrences tended to burn themselves out, there was soon a noticeable shift in inter-species relations. Humans were requesting in droves to serve on Tralnexian ships. Often declining more prestigious opportunities to wait for a position to become available on the most humble Tralnex freighter.
Finally a Scrayackien captain, desperate to sign at least one human onto his crew before traveling through a particularly precarious pirate-infested galaxy asked. “What is it with you humans and your sudden fascination with the Tralnexians?”
The human just shrugged, waving a newly sealed work contract towards their new Tralnex crewmates. “They just seem more, I dunno…” the human smiled with an amused glint in their eye, “…down to earth.”
The EVB was inundated with requests within the hour.
that while you can make jokes about Feyre manipulating Lucien in ACOWAR by using his mating bond with Elain, that will not make him change. It will make him worse. His condition will get worse as the female he saw as a friend, manipulates him again and again. Just as Tamlin did to him.
have you ever finished a book or show and just had the strongest longing to be a part of that universe, where you have special abilities like them and friendships like them, and sure life is hard there but you know you’re special, you’re valuable, and that everything will be okay in the end
❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜ ❛ idc (i do care) ❜ ❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜ ❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜ ❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜ ❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜ ❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜ ❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜ ❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜ ❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜ ❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜ ❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜ ❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜ ❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜ ❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜ ❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜ ❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜ ❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜ ❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜ ❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜ ❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜ ❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜ ❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜ ❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜ ❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜ ❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜ ❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜ ❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜ ❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜ ❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜ ❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜ ❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜ ❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜ ❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜ ❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜ ❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜ ❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜ ❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜ ❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜ ❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜ ❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜ ❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜ ❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜ ❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜ ❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜ ❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜ ❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜ ❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜ ❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜ ❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜ ❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜ ❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜ ❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜ ❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜ ❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my way through life ❜ ❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜ ❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜ ❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜ ❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜ ❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜ ❛ me? cancelled ❜ ❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜ ❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜ ❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜ ❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜ ❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜ ❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜ ❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜ ❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜ ❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜ ❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜ ❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜ ❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜ ❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜ ❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜ ❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜ ❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜ ❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜ ❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜ ❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜ ❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜ ❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜ ❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜ ❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜ ❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜ ❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜ ❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜ ❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜ ❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜ ❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜ ❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜
( you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2)
Anyway the best part of seeing Wonder Woman was that I went to a local theatre/bar/restaurant that serves you booze while you watch a movie and when Steve describes the heterosexual ideal of a job, marriage, and 2.5 kids and Diana asks “what is it like?” a woman in the audience replied “it’s overrated” and at least 3 other women offered to buy her a drink.