bond in space

Sleeping Arangments

Lance and Pidge sleeping in the same bed because they are used to having there siblings around at home and miss them. Since they are such good friends they consider each other as family.

Option 1: when Matt comes on the ship Pidge spends the whole time with him, but when it’s night asks lance if he still wants to sleep together.

Option 2: Pidge is to excited about Matt and doesn’t think about Lance. Keith sees that he is kinda sad and lonely so he says that he can sleep with him.

Pidge: Ok, so don’t get too excited, but I’ve worked out a way to connect the laptop to the internet…
Lance: Pidge how the quiznak did you think I was not going to get excited about this?!?!?!
Hunk: Anything I can help with?
Pidge: Ok, so the thing is that from our end it’s pretty simple right, I mean it’s just a case of sending and receiving correctly coded signals, and my laptop has the inbuilt hardware for all that. The real problem is that we’re light years away, and even with the ship’s range, it’d take years for our signal to reach Earth, and we can’t use the speed-enhanced Altean frequencies because it has to fit in with the existing architecture, and then coming back there isn’t enough range anyway and-
Keith: Pidge, breathe
Pidge: …Anyway, if we had a way to transport the signals instantly we could simply relay them back and forth through, say, a wormhole specifically designed to transport waves rather than matter?
Hunk: But the only way to do that is if….
Pidge: … yeah
Shiro:
Lance:
Keith:

Shiro: I can’t believe you’re seriously debating asking the princess to use her Altean energy so the castle can get a wifi signal
Shiro: *leaves*
Other paladins: *ashamed shuffling*
Five minutes later
Shiro, running back into the room: SHE SAID YES!!

Okay but if Keith knew Shiro had a crush on Allura, do you think he talked about it while he and allura were alone in the pod??

Imagine if Keith were trying to play wingman for Shiro, except he was really bad at it

“So… Shiro’s arm… it’s pretty cool… it could light up someone’s world.”

“Did you see how sweaty shiro was in training; it was moist.”

“He’d make a great father, even if his kids are half alien from a species he had only learned about less than a month ago.”

Or alternately: Keith being a little shit

“Once, when I was 15, Shiro got mad at me and locked me in the bathroom and the lock broke so I was stuck there for an entire day. He was so sorry he cried for three hours straight.”

more humans are weird...

Okay, so we’ve talked about inanimate objects like Stabby the space roomba. Fair enough, the aliens think, after adjusting their mental frameworks a little. It moves around, it’s got some intelligence, humans just aren’t very good at distinguishing ‘animate’ and 'inanimate’ and will pack-bond with anything that moves. Weird, but okay.

But then:

Human Sashi: What are you doing??!

Alien fusid: …Eating the first meal of the day? I believe you call it 'breakfast’?

Human Sashi: No, I mean… you’re using my cup!

Alien fusid: Dishes were provided by the space station.

Human Sashi: Well, some of us brought our own – my friend doesn’t like them; too standardized. But that’s not what I was talking about. That’s my cup!

Alien fusid: I apologize, but it looks exactly like the other cups.

Human Sashi: No it doesn’t.

Alien fusid: …What?

Human Sashi: It’s got a chip in the corner, see?? I mean, it’s fine, but just… don’t do it again, okay.


Alien fusid: I had the strangest interaction with a human today.

Alien Wimu: The humans are quite odd. What occurred?

Alien fusid: It had pack bonded to a cup.

Alien Wimu: …a cup?

Alien fusid: Yes. It is a regulation cup, but it has a chip. Apparently, we are not to touch it.

Alien Wimu: …

Alien fusid: …

Alien Wimu, meditatively: The humans are certainly very, very odd.

hc where after keith comes back to the team lance goes “me, missing you? ha, i didn’t even noticed you left” but keith just smirks walking up to him “is that so? hmm, that’s funny, red said otherwise” and watches all the color drain from his face

Coffee Shop AUs I need as someone who works in a coffee shop

AUs where both of them are baristas:

  • AU where business is really slow so Person A and Person B start doodling on the hot sleeves for the cups and compete to see whose doodles the customers like better and then A starts doodling on B like hearts or some cute shit

  • The new manager (Person C) is an Asshole and is making them scrub the floor with bleach (been there, done that, it sucks) and they bond over complaining about C
  • Dealing !!! with annoying customers!!!! And standing up for each other/bonding over the assholes! Example annoying customers from my experience as a barista:
    • That customer who orders a cappuccino not knowing what it is and then getting upset when its not a latte (u baristas out there feel me)
    • when you run out of somehthing (like cold brew or the sodas in the cooler)  and they ask you to look in the back and then throw a fit bc they don’t get what they want (this happened to me once, a grown ass man threw a tantrum bc we didn’t have milk for his goddam cookies tf)
    • when you make them wait for more than two seconds to take their order/ make their drink and they get pissy
    • when its slow and the customer watches you make the drink and start making comments like bitch let me do mmy job
  • Person A and B don’t normally work the same shift but A is covering for C and goddam, B is fucking cute
  • when there’s a rush and the cafe is understaffed so its just A and B and they have to work together to make like seventeen drinks and personal space stops existing bc you gotta get those drinks made ASAP ( I can’t count the amount of times my coworkers and i have been all up in each other;s space trying to work around each other to make drinks). Bonus points if A is already pining for B and is getting flustered about close quarters. Extra bonus points if B notices and starts being a llittle shit about it and gets even more in A’s space ;)))
  • bonding over making fun of ridiculously specific drink orders (not until the customer is gone tho don’t be rude)
  • A is new and B teaches them how to make drinks and shows them the ropes and maybe starts flirting bc the newbie is a hottie ;)
  • when the rest of their coworkers + manager ship it
  • When regular customer (Person C) comes in and makes chit chat and assumes A and B are dating and one (or both) get flustered
  • CLOSING TOGETHER AND BEING ABANDONED BY THEIR COWORKERS TO CLEAN THE FUCKKNG DISHES AND IT TAKES FOREVER AND THEY BOND OVER THE FACT THAT THEIR COWORKERS ARE ASSHOLES WHO LEFT THEM ALL THE CLEANING TO DO
  • I need more coffee shops AUswhere theyre both baristas @ fanfic writers pls

keith [cutting lance’s birthday cake]:

lance: sharp work, samurai ;)))))

keith [sighing]: lance, we already talked about this

Humans are Weird - EVB

Aliens finally visit the death-world itself only to discover humans are about to encourage a Galaxy-wide tourist boom.
__________________

Earth was off-limits.

For all the many worlds and species found within and between them, this was a line held by all. Earth, and the humans that called it home, was just too dangerous and unpredictable.

It didn’t stop the humans from spreading though. They found their way onto ships and spaceports. Treaties, codes of conduct, and guidebooks followed in their wake to help the civilizations they encountered to cope with their presence. In time, most came to view their oddities an acceptable trade-off to their durability, flexibility, and overall tenaciousness.  All races could agree that humans were an asset to their ships and crew.

But Earth itself was still off-limits.

Oh, it wasn’t for lack of trying on the humans’ part. They were perpetually inviting their ship-mates to come to their home-world. Most often to indulge in one of the numerous and varied ‘holidays’ that most non-terrains gave up on trying to make sense of long ago.

For most intelligent and civilized species, humans themselves were enough proof that no one should set foot, tentacle, or exoskeleton on the planet known as Earth. However, as with all reasonably agreed upon ideas, someone was bound to cross the line.

It started simply enough. A new ruler from the Tralnex nebula, seeking to solidify their own position, and gain some interstellar bragging points, requested a visit. The Tralnexian was welcomed with open arms and treated to the very best of all that Earth had to offer in lavish locations, cultural experiences, and exquisite cuisine. Holo-ads of the trip could soon be seen everywhere, all proudly sponsored by the Earth Visitation Bureau. It was the scandal of the century.

While normally such flamboyant occurrences tended to burn themselves out, there was soon a noticeable shift in inter-species relations. Humans were requesting in droves to serve on Tralnexian ships. Often declining more prestigious opportunities to wait for a position to become available on the most humble Tralnex freighter.

Finally a Scrayackien captain, desperate to sign at least one human onto his crew before traveling through a particularly precarious pirate-infested galaxy asked. “What is it with you humans and your sudden fascination with the Tralnexians?”

The human just shrugged, waving a newly sealed work contract towards their new Tralnex crewmates. “They just seem more, I dunno…” the human smiled with an amused glint in their eye, “…down to earth.”

The EVB was inundated with requests within the hour.