bond floats

So it’s reasonably common wisdom

..that Ian Fleming wrote James Bond at least in part based on his co-workers back in WWII. Roald Dahl (Also known as the creator of Willy Wonka) is said to have inspired Bond’s womanizing, and that he had a girl in every port. (Some accounts -also- say that Dahl spent most of his time romancing not enemy agents, but American women who might influence their husbands to push against Isolationism, and also that he hated it.) Some theories have also been floated that Bond’s fighting skills may have been inspired by Christopher Lee, who was also working intelligence during WWII, and was more than likely acquainted with Dahl since they were both detached from the RAF. (Also Lee knew the sound someone made when stabbed in the back, so you know.)

So what I’m saying is, instead of selecting a ‘new Bond’,  by internet acclaim why don’t we cast all of them and do a Fleming quasi-Biopic called “They were Bond”

Idris Elba is Roald Dahl, the tall, sophisticated airman on loan to the ONI.

Gillian Anderson is Christopher Lee, future Dracula occasionally attached to the SAS.

Ian Fleming is played by whatever bland white dude they wanted to play Bond in the first place.

Bonus: John Cho as Leslie Motherfucking Charteris, the creator of the Saint, who’s already a professional writer by the 1940s, and appears to sign Fleming’s copy of Life Magazine where he appears as his own creation in an adaptation of one of the Saint stories. 

Plot twist: We see Fleming writing in a notebook the whole time, assumed to be the first Bond story. In the end it’s revealed to be Chitty Chitty Bang-Bang.