bollywood calling

The signs Bollywood CV

Aries:

- Holds a Doctorate in (Bsp) Bollywood Spotifying- Can sing and do the dance moves to any song from 1960-present

- Currently running the #StopMovingToHollywood Campaign

- Runs a the wedding planner agency Dulhania Designer Le Jayenge

Taurus:

- Degree in (UCr) Unique Creations, creatively makes all Bollywood content their own by adding their own lyrics to the songs and their own words to the dialogue

- Chef at the 5 star restaurant Kabhi Khana Kabhi Gaana

- Director of the Life Insurance Company Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Gemini:

- Founder of the dessert Chain at Jab Tak Hai Jamun

- Heart Surgeon at the renowned specialist heart clinic called Dil Dhadakne Do

-  Part of a theatre group called Tamasha

Cancer:

- Degree in Scriptwriting Founder and Teacher at Bollywood Scriptwriting school called Learn Aaj Kal

- Part time Fashion Critic for Vogue India

- Recently launched their organic baby food brand called Baby Ko Broccoli Pasand Hai

Leo:

- Owns the farm with renowned  horse-race horses as well as other farm animals called Barn Barn Dekho.

Regularly calls out celebrities on their twitter account @bollywood_ki_teigen.

- Can recite every dialogue for every movie that their faves have acted in

Virgo: 

- Can do the dance steps to Kala Chashma, Kamli and Sheila Ki Jawaani

- Degree in (BOp) Box Office Psychology, investigates box office trends and is head stock broker at Bollywood Stock Market.

- Writes for a gossip column under the handle @bebo_said_it

Libra: 

- CEO of the CCU- Copycat Claims Unit. Investigates any copying from moving and regularly encourages film makers to create new content

- PHD in Khan-tology, did a dissertation on the so called last batch of superstars called the Khans.

- Gossip source to all newspapers, 12M followers on Twitter -@the_ranbir_kareena_karan_gossip_vortex

Scorpio: 

- Doctorate Degree in (BHi) Bollywood History, expert on Bollywood History

- Has curated a collection of writings inspired by Javed Akhtars poetry. Trying to get SLB to read their script.

- Dance Instructor at dancing school- Ae Dance Hai Mushkil

Sagittarius

- Organises a marathon run each year titled Bhaag Mankind Bhaag

- Part of the LCP- Logic Critics Panel, tries to find the logic in convoluted movie plot lines

Degree in (BGe) Bollywood Geography, regularly posts photos of new movie locations on their instagram @bade_bade_deshon_mein

Capricorn: 

- Can recite entire films including dialogue recitation and singing the songs by heart

- Degree in (PIn) PR Investigation- Head of the PR Nonsense Investigating Unit which specialises in investigating PR planted stories and uncovering the truth.

- Founder of the Twinkle Khanna Fan Club. Currently trying to trend the hashtag #GiveTwinkleATVShow 

Aquarius:

- Currently touted to be the next biggest Bollywood reality TV judge

- Founder of the BMA, Bollywood Meme Association

- CEO at a firm that recruits recruiters called Tujh Mein Recruiter Dikhta Hai

Pisces

- Degree in (ASc) Action Science, works with scientists and mathematicians to find the logic in action sequences. 

- Has watched Hum Apke Hain Kaun 2435 times

- Activist for the sequel movement, a movement that seeks to encourage film makers to make sequels to hit films. Currently trying to convince Zoya Akhtar to tell us what happens to the Mehras in Dil Dhadakne Do.

Follow bollywood-zodiac for more posts like this :)

The signs Bollywood CV

Aries:

- Holds a Doctorate in (Bsp) Bollywood Spotifying- Can sing and do the dance moves to any song from 1960-present

- Currently running the #StopMovingToHollywood Campaign

- Runs a the wedding planner agency Dulhania Designer Le Jayenge

Taurus:

- Degree in (UCr) Unique Creations, creatively makes all Bollywood content their own by adding their own lyrics to the songs and their own words to the dialogue

- Chef at the 5 star restaurant Kabhi Khana Kabhi Gaana

- Director of the Life Insurance Company Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Keep reading

6

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too.Despair will comeFind someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark. [ insp ]

“Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again…“

-

Have a quick doodle of the goat fam. Those are the lyrics to the song “Give Me Some Sunshine” from a lovely Bollywood movie called “3 Idiots”. I highly recommend watching it! It’s so inspirational that it’s my go-to film if I feel down about my art or discouraged at animation school. It can make you laugh, cry and make you want to do something.

Lol. Didn’t mean to talk about the movie. It’s just so wonderful. And I thought this bit in the song is applicable to Flowey because *sniff* mah baby needs some love, a’ight?!

I meant to make this like a legit thing but I don’t have the luxury of time to do so. So I just quickly colored it for practice and shiz -3-

The “Fair” Treatment of Women in Modern Bollywood

Let’s talk colorism.

Discriminating against dark skin colors while praising light skin colors undoubtedly damages and divides our society. We like to believe that colorism is a strictly Western issue, but let us not forget how prevalent and insidious colorism is in Southeast Asian nations. India’s entertainment hub, Bollywood, is indeed guilty of perpetuating this glorification of white skin - deeming it pure, sexy, and a symbol of high class (or in this case, caste). 

Bollywood has churned out images of light-skinned, almost white, actresses time and time again. When producers default white skin as the standard in their movies, millions of consumers end up swallowing this damaging view of what Indians, particularly women, look like. Not only do foreigners see this as a representation of Indian women, but Indian women themselves internalize that white standard. So when young girls say they want to be like Katrina Kaif, they want the long locks, beautiful light eyes, slim body, and subconsciously…the white face.

White skin has been pervasive and subliminal in nature with the inflation of light-skinned actresses in film. However, it also manifests itself quite obviously. Exhibit A is a song/music video from the Bollywood movie “Roy” called “Chittiyaan Kalaiyaan” (literal translation: White Wrists). Below are some of the lyrics from the chorus:

Mann jaa ve…mainu shopping kara de
Please agree…take me shopping
Mann jaa ve… romantic picture dikha de
Please agree…show me a romantic movie
Requestaan paayiaan ve..
I request you…
Chittiyaan kalaiyaan ve
White wrists
Oh baby meri chittiyan kalaiyan ve
Oh baby I have fair-complexioned wrists
Chittiyaan kalaiyaan ve
White wrists

So do the lyricists believe that white skin is a woman’s ticket to having a man “wrapped around her finger” so he can finance her material gain? By the logic of the lyrics, a man (particularly, an Indian man) would not be interested in spending his money on a woman unless she showed off her “white wrists.” So here we must realize that not only do men aspire to espouse a light-skinned woman, females can also perpetuate colorism by capitalizing on their own light skin privilege.

Of course the lead in the video, Jacqueline Fernandez (tracing her multi-ethnic roots to Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Canada, India, and Bahrain) to be light-skinned for the music video to bring its lyrics to life. However, Fernandez has what seems to be white backup dancers as well.

I would have expected other light-skin Indian women as props in a Bollywood music video, but clearly, actual white people would get the message across more directly. Not only should you have light skin to be desired and warrant the “male gaze,” you should surround yourself with white women to show you are as far away from the “typical” Indian female image as possible (as if Bollywood has not done that already for its industry by casting Katrina Kaif, Kareena Kapoor, and Priyanka Chopra in nearly every film out there.)

What about that confederate flag guitar in the music video’s introduction, though?

Did this slip through every crew member’s hands when filming on set? Arguably, we might not expect Indian filmmakers to be well-versed in every aspect of United States history. However, that a white supremacist symbol landed in a music video celebrating white skin is nothing short of appalling and almost eerily coincidental.

Perhaps we ought to excuse these actresses for participating in discriminatory media. We may argue that years of colonialism bred internalized racism and, therefore, Eurocentric beauty standards. After all, colorism has weasled its way into Southeast Asian society so pervasively, that skin-whitening creams like Fair & Lovely are openly advertised on television and insisted upon customers in drug stores.

However, is demanding diverse representation of Indian women too much to ask? I used to be proud of myself for having lighter skin than some of my colleagues and family members, but now I realize that it was all systemic and a result of consuming tainted, harmful, and inaccurate media. I am no better than an Indian woman darker than me because of difference in skin color. There is no excuse for deliberately silencing their voices and erasing their images. I demand dark-skinned women in my movies. I demand dark-skinned women in my soap operas. I demand dark-skinned women exist outside of a portrayal of the impoverished. I demand dark-skinned visiblity and celebration.

Edit: This post has been corrected to correctly identify the actress as Jacqueline Fernandez.

10

FANGIRL CHALLENGE | favourite Shahrukh Khan songs (no specific order)