bok with me

Jeong Joon Hyung: The Boyfriend of a Feminist

1. Joon Hyung is not a guy you have to change for. He likes you, as you are. Pimples on nose and all. It always irked me that dramas like She Was Beautiful or 200 Pound Beauty or every other teeny bopper romcom in the States - looking at you She’s All That - always has this makeover scene where the frumpy heroine becomes a bombshell goddess. 

Bok Joo doesn’t have that moment. She doesn’t have a montage where her hair becomes all silky and she’s wearing heels and she takes off her glasses and why she’s a goddess.

Joon Hyung saw a Bok Joo that was in sweats, a weightlifter, with calluses on her hands. And he liked her for it, because what happened to Joon Hyung was not that Bok Joo became pretty and bam he liked her. 

What happened to Joon Hyung was that he got to know Bok Joo. How she was a kind daughter, a loyal friend and a good person. He got to know a Bok Joo who made his heart warm and that was what made her beautiful to him. 

Not her physical appearance.

And I don’t know about you, but that’s just really lovely for me. 

2. Jealous Joon Hyung is not asshole Joon Hyung. Most K-drama guys become macho-men I’ll pee over you like a dog because you’re mine when they get jealous. Jealousy, by itself is not bad per se. But jealousy that leads you to treat characters as objects (see Lee Min Ho in BoF, Heirs and now LotBS) it crosses a line from awwww so cute to ewwww I’ll get a restraining order on you. 

This is why jealous Joon Hyung is my favorite guy. Joon Hyung gets jealous because he likes Bok Joo and some other guy is chummy with her. But his response is:

a. To ASK Bok Joo, not to DEMAND Bok Joo not to see this guy again.

b. And when he realized his jealousy stemmed from loving feelings for Bok Joo instead of cooking up a sick reason to keep other guy away, he tells her straight. I’m jealous because I like you. Give me a chance. It’s all up to you. Do with me as you please. 

This is what’s good about them. Even jealousy is healthy for them, it’s a driver for them to address how they feel. 

3. Joon Hyung is not a knight in shining armor. He thinks Bok Joo is strong enough to fight her battles, but that doesn’t mean he can’t support her. 

He looked after her dad.

He did not kick up a shit storm when they had to be apart because she’s training for the national team. Instead he understood that to Bok Joo being an athlete comes first, and her family second and he’s happy to be there to help her with it. That’s what makes Joon Hyung such a loveable guy. He doesn’t demand that he be the center of your universe. He just wants to share the world with you. 

And after all the macho men who think it’s romantic to tell a girl to ignore her family and dreams and responsibilities and look at me, only look at me, Joon Hyung is a refreshing reminder that love is not selfish, love is not an or but an and. And that when you truly love someone your life opens up to include them in it.