boise girls

My thank you to Brendon Urie

I just went to a Panic! concert on Monday and I have never felt so okay with being who I am. The entire time I was there I kept seeing pride flags. There were colored hearts being passed out by fans that say “LOVE IS NOT A CHOICE.” And finally when Brendon sang Girls/Girls/Boys I was ecstatic. I have never felt safer in this state, which is still pretty hateful of any LGBT+ identity, than when I was at that concert with so many people screaming “love is not a choice” and Brendon holding the pride flags as he sang while the audience created a rainbow with their colored hearts and lights. Thank you Brendon for creating this amazing open minded atmosphere in your concert. It made me prouder than ever to be bi.

7

Exactly one year ago from today, I was in California and nearing the end of a vacation I took with my friend Alli to visit our friend Aja. On one of the lasts nights of 2013’s first trip, I was hired to photograph Bahman (Aja’s boyfriend) & Maryam’s 21st birthday party. It was like nothing I had ever been to and I definitely felt a little out of my comfort zone. Most of the guests were from totally different walks of life than myself, and the party itself was like none that I had ever witnessed. In Hawaii, an invite to a ‘party’ is mostly inviting you to 'come and eat lots of really really good food’, but don’t get me wrong, there was some amazing indian food not pictured here. I didn’t know what to expect, but I sure wasn’t thinking strobe lights, a dj, fifty people or a knife dance and so needless to say, i was severely underdressed. Regardless, I took some photos, gagged at the smell of grey goose, and enjoyed where I was at the present moment. I was in California. I was with two of my best friends. I was being paid to document a really rad night. It was a new year, and it was only going to get better from there. A lot has changed since last year and I’ll be in California again soon; this time without my best friends. Instead, I’ll be at a photo retreat (define school’s Field Trip) with friends from all over the country and meeting many more throughout the weekend. Before that I’ll be in Idaho, visiting Alli and all the friends I made last summer, when I was the new brown girl in Boise. And before that, I’ll be in Seattle with my favorite person in the world, Lionel, for the first time. I’ve come to eagerly await these moments outside of my comfort zone. It’s only in these moments where I am given the option to live with abandon or shrink away. I hope I always choose growth.