boehner crying

Today, Boehner is crying because… His Spirit Animal, Glenn Beck has been given the boot decided to leave his show at Fox News. Now, Boehner alone must carry the flag of the under-representated weepy, socially-conservative white male. I can smell the pungent aroma of salt water and tan-in-a-can mingling under the pressure as I type.

Today, Boehner is crying because… People are donating money in his name to Planned Parenthood. The generosity of the American public clearly touches him in his weepy place!

To find out how to honor Boehner’s important uterus-shielding work in Congress with your own donation, check out boehnerforpp.tumblr.com.

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Vintage Boehnerworks… 11/2/10, John Boehner cries as he announces his divinely-mandated ascendence to the throne role of House Majority Leader. Yes, John, we were sad, too.

Video from ABC News.