body-issue

youtube

This is the first in a new series of videos I’m going to be starting on my channel!

In “Let’s Talk About” we’ll discuss the facts, rumors and negative effects of different body image related issues.

For our first episode, we talk about stretch marks!

I’m very proud of this video so please like, share, subscribe and tell me how I did!

What is the Girl Talk Series?

Inspired by Jim Jarmusch’s Coffee and Cigarettes, the Girl Talk Series is a showcase of two girls talking in the comfort of their own intimate space about topics that are most dear to them. Most of the work I do focuses on the representation of Asian American girls because I truly feel like we don’t get our stories told without the filter of some outsider’s perspective.  I felt thirsty and famished to see our stories told and instead of waiting for someone else to tell them, I decided to do it myself.

The Girl Talk Series is a passion project wholly done by yours truly from producing, directing, shooting,  and even editing. These are words and stories from real girls as they discuss topics like career choices, body image, motherhood, and even loss. I was very conscious about capturing female interaction and conversations in a casual and frank light that is a honest portrayal of how girls talk in their everyday lives. Stripped down and raw, it’s a sneak peek into the sacred world of girlhood especially in the intimate space of their homes.

These stories aren’t specifically related to being an Asian female but our culture and environment very much has shaped our opinions and lives. I felt it was vital to embrace our identity down to the core which propelled me to encompass every aspect of this filmmaking process with Asian-American females from behind the camera (me, duh) to the front and even down to the musical choices of each video. I hope these words resonant with you as much as they did with me. I am so proud of these girls who let me into their homes and lives. They are truly speaking for so many voiceless girls out there that just want their experience to be heard. Thank you for tuning in and I’ll see you every Wednesday!

XOXOXO,
So

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ok so i arrived in Boston from Philly last night and all I have to say is that this week was truly an adventure. I got to see my favorite people, watch my favorite bands, and I felt a huge burden off my chest once I passed the MA border. I need to get out more rather than nailing myself down with so much work (I’m typing this from the school lab as I work on new illustrations) but I’m glad to have left and now I’m glad to be back. 

I’m gonna be honest, i got really depressed lately and it hasn’t been easy. Body image issues, trust issues, fucking whatever issues just been getting in my head lately and they started to fester. but I got to let it all out and just enjoy myself and feel reassured being around all my friends. Also I’m glad to be going to the gym again after not going for two weeks or so. I’m working on being positive and productive but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be all smiles and easy sailing. I know it’s not easy but that’s what makes it feel so gratifying and worthwhile. 

I am really starting to like myself more like my body image issues are basically nil, I just hate how scrawny my arms are they look so disproportionate. Other than that, I feel really good about myself lately if you haven’t noticed my increased selfie postage

It's been hard...

My aunt is so, so sick and the worldly part of me is saying, “she’s not going to make it, just face it” but the faithful part of me says,“God is good no matter what the outcome. hold onto hope”.

I’m too anxious in hospitals as it is, and she’s the first person, I’m actually close to, who’s been this sick. I visited her a few weeks ago and she was only hooked up to a breathing machine, and my hands shook and my breathing was shallow and my voice cracked. I just don’t want her to be scared. I don’t want her to feel alone. I just want her to be happy and get better, now.

Also. In much less important news–actually important to me news–I’ve been battling with body image issues. I’ve never been good with weight loss, but I want to be healthy. I’m just feeling so uncomfortable in my skin lately. I want to hide my not-even-close-to-being-toned tummy and I cringe when I see the excess flab on my thighs. The other day I stupidly asked my mom if she thought I was losing weight to which she replied, “do you want my honest opinion?” No. “I think you’ve put on weight.” Ugh. Of course. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror today without saying to myself, “I hate my body”. And the scary thing was, I meant it with my whole being.

I’ve been going to the gym, although admittedly not as often as earlier in the year. I go to two yoga classes a month, and try to throw in at least one day of cardio (which I despise…kinda). I know it’s not much, especially to get results, but it’s just been a lot to go to work and sit through an hour of traffic (one hour there and one hour back) and then do a session of cardio when I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing.

Anyway, long story short–I’ve been in a bit of a funk. Please pray for my auntie Leila. And if you have it in you, please pray for me too.

Also, this is probably the first year of my life that I’ve gotten into a bathing suit, looked at myself in the mirror, and said, “damn, I look great.” and haven’t had any body issues at all. Aggressively loving myself no matter what sure has gone a long way.

2

Abby Wambach for the ESPN Body Issue.

I love these photos. I love these photos because it’s the first time I can think of when I haven’t had to see a female athlete be overly sexualized and objectified. She’s naked, yes that’s the point of the issue (and the men are just as nude), but she's powerful. She’s athletic and strong in both of these photos.

They just make me happy, okay?