Diet and beauty culture thrive on guilt. Guilt over that delicious dessert. Guilt over that dress size. Guilt over those wrinkles. They teach you guilt and then they sell you the solution. Please, never feel guilty for existing. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to age. You are allowed to exist in the body you have right now without spending all of your time, money and self worth to change it.
Does anyone else get the feeling when you go out in public and it feels like every girl is looking down on you and judging you and sees just how inferior you are to them and their physical beauty and you start to get really anxious and want to cry and just go home cuz you feel so out of place and worthless compared to the rest of humanity cuz ik I do
11 Things Everyone Dealing With BDD Should Say (But Can’t).
1. “I’m sorry that I’m constantly focused on my appearance; I don’t mean to irritate anybody. But I can’t stop.”
2. “When I rant about how shitty I look, it’s not to get sympathy, and it’s definitely not to make anybody else feel worse about themselves. It’s actually just how I see myself, every day - And sometimes I just get sick of it.”
3. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help.”
4. “Don’t tell me I’m being ‘superficial’, ‘trivial’, or ‘obsessive’. I’m already fully fucking aware - trust me.”
5. “I’m sorry I can’t stop fixating on diets, or surgery, or whatever fucking fix I think I need. Again, I’m fully aware that I’m as obsessive as hell.”
6. “I don’t mean to give off the impression that looks are all that matter. They’re not. I know they’re not, but it feels like they are.”
7. “The only person I’m judging by these insane standards is myself.”
8. “Every time I’m in public, I can tell people are staring at me. I know they might not be, I know they probably couldn’t care less about a random passer-by like me, but I can tell they’re staring at me.”
9. “I hate myself every time I look in the mirror - and not knowing if what I’m seeing is ‘real’, an ‘exaggeration’, or ‘not as bad as I think it is’, only makes me feel worse.”
10. “I’m sorry if you’re feeling fed up with me. I’m pretty damn fed up with me too.”
11. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be more than this.”
Of all the female sins, hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even love. If we have desires, we are expected to conceal them, to control them, to keep ourselves in check. We are supposed to be objects of desire, not desiring beings. We do not need food: in many ways, we are food, trainable meat, lambs queueing up to buy mint sauce. We consume only what we are told to, from lipstick to life insurance, and only what will make us more consumable ourselves, the better to be chewed up and swallowed by a machine that wants our work, our money, our sexuality broken down into bite-sized chunks.
Life would be so much more fun if I were pretty. I would actually enjoy getting dressed up, putting on makeup, and going out. I could focus on so many other things instead of fixating on being ugly. Imagine the friends I’d have! Imagine what its like to be pretty and do your makeup!! Imagine taking selfies with your friends!! Posting selfies on instagram and getting comments from your friends building you up and telling you how gorgeous you are! Imagine going on dates! Imagine getting free drinks and stuff from men!Imagine what shopping and trying on clothes is like being pretty! The simple, seemingly basic things that I dont get to enjoy sound so amazing. And pretty women take it all for granted.
You know what? Not liking my body will not stop me from taking care of myself. I will paint my nails regardless of my chubby fingers and I will put on a face mask even if my face is round like a ball.
Maybe I don‘t like what i see in the mirror, maybe I never will, but taking those little baby steps always make me feel better about myself, they feel like I actually use my potential, and I won‘t let my negative body image take that away from me.