And let me say something to the young girls who are reading this. Hi, girls. On behalf of the grown-ups of America who care about you and your futures, I am awfully sorry about how miserably we screwed this up. We elected a giant farting T. rex who does not like you, or care about you, or think about you, unless he is scanning your bodies with his creepy T. rex eyes or trying to physically grab you like a toy his daddy got him (or would have, if his daddy had loved him). (Sorry, that was a low blow.) (Actually, not sorry, I’m pissed, and I’m on a roll, so zip it, superego!)
Our president-elect is everything you should abhor and fear in a male role model. He has spent his life telling you, and girls and women like you, that your lives are valueless except as sexual objects. He has demeaned you, and belittled you, and put you in a little box to be looked at and not heard. It is your job, and the job of girls and women like you, to bust out.
You are going to run this country, and this world, very soon. So you will not listen to this man, or the 75-year-old, doughy-faced, gray-haired nightmare men like him, when they try to tell you where to stand or how to behave or what you can and cannot do with your own bodies, or what you should or should not think with your own minds. You will not be cowed or discouraged by his stream of retrogressive babble. You won’t have time to be cowed, because you will be too busy working and learning and communing with other girls and women like you. And when the time comes, you will effortlessly flick away his miserable, petty, misogynistic worldview like a fly on your picnic potato salad.
He is the present, sadly, but he is not the future. You are the future. Your strength is a million times his. Your power is a billion times his. We will acknowledge this result, but we will not accept it. We will overcome it, and we will defeat it.
Summary:He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?
“Oh no, Holly no…. Too beige colored it makes your hips look bigger than necessary.” Luke replied with a glass of bobbly champagne in his hand, eyes scanning her body and his feet tapping against the marble floor to the beat of the background music.
You looked up from your papers with a huge sigh sincerely wishing that you could be anywhere else than stuck with those two in some kind of small expensive shop a few streets away from your office building.
When you don’t have to be actively thinking, don’t think.
Focus your attention on the feeling of your body. Inhabit the entirety of your body. Do this whenever you get the chance throughout the day.
Start at your feet and work your way up, feeling each part of your body one at a time. Scan your body a few times this way.
Then to feel different parts at once. Feel your feet and your hands simultaneously. Feel your hips and your shoulders. Feel the backs of your knees and the space inside your skull. Feel your gut and your elbows.
Lastly, feel your entire body as a whole. Rest and abide as this feeling, whether your are walking, standing in line, or eating a meal.
With practice, you will start to feel all of your body as one seamless whole.
This is the process of defragmenting your body-mind. The result is happiness and harmony.
Mark didn’t hesitate, he pulled you onto his lap immediately causing you to giggle in shock.
He looked at you again in the same way he had just a few minutes earlier. It was a look of complete adoration and need. You felt as if you were going to melt. He bit his bottom lip as his eyes scanned your body.
“Mark,” you whispered… “I want you”.
Mark groaned at your words, they were all he had ever wanted to hear.
“Y/N?” Raphael’s voice made you turn around, from your examination of the priceless artifacts. You were ready to go off at the douchebag of a vampire, but when you turned to face the leader of the Brooklyn Vampire Clan, however, you gasped.
“Raphael!” He was a wreck, stumbling into his living room with his face half covered in blood that dripped from a cut above his forehead. He collapsed into your arms when you reached him, practically dragging him to the golden couch. As you set him down, you quickly scanned his body for further injuries.
“Raphael, what happened?”
“Werewolves - rogues - not local -” he chokes out, “I-”
“Hush,” you interrupt the vampire and began to wipe the blood away from his face.
“I-I need to go back,” he groans, wincing as he attempts to stand. “Simon.”
“No!” You snap, pushing him back to the couch. “You are in no condition to go anywhere! You can’t even stand!”
“I beg you,” he pleads, “Y/N, I have to, please.”
You pause for a moment, weighing the pros and cons before making a split second decision. “Take what you need,” you breathe, tilting your head so that he can access your neck.
“What?” Raphael’s eyes almost pop out of his head.
“You need my strength,” you explained, moving your hair to expose your neck even more. “You’ll gain it back faster if you drink blood from a live host. Take what you need.” Raphael moans at the smell of your angel blood and leans closer, giving in. You close your eyes when his lips land on your jaw.
“Oh, sweet, sweet, Y/N,” he groans, licking the spot behind your ear before leaving a deep purple hickey. “You smell so sweet, my dear, Y/N.” You can’t help but moan at Raphael’s words. Though he was about to suck your blood, the words coming from his mouth sounded so sensual. He drags his lips back to the area where your skin covers your jugular vein. Raphael takes a deep breath, attempting to restrain himself from plunging his fangs into your neck and draining your body of blood. He just needed some of your strength, not all of it.
“Are you sure, Y/N?” Raphael murmurs to your skin, just above the spot he was planning to bite.
“Yes,” you breathe. And then Raphael is kitten licking the place he means to bite you. You can’t stop the moans and whimpers that you let out as Raphael continues his gentle assault on your skin, leaving hickeys that you knew would last for days.
“So honorable for a shadowhunter, “Raphael murmurs, his tongue massaging your sweet spot. “So ready, so willing to give up your blood for a vampire you barely know.”
“I know you quite well, Raphael Santiago,” you whimper when Raphael sucks another hickey into your collar bone. “Take my blood, vampire. You need it more that I.” Raphael pulls back from your neck to look in your eyes. “Raph…” you began, before the vampire shut you up with a tender kiss.
You whimpered at the gentle desperation behind the kiss. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were kissing Raphael Santiago, leader of the Brooklyn Vampire Clan. You wanted him to take your blood to replenish his strength. Raphael’s lips quickly became urgent, needy, and then he was pulling away. You whined at the loss of his lips. Raphael’s mouth landed on your neck, sucking, nipping, licking. Raphael could feel his fangs slide out over his bottom lip and he knew he couldn’t control himself for much longer.
“Try not to leave too much of a mark, huh, Santiago?” Your tease turns into a cry when he sank his fangs into your smooth flesh. The two of you moan in sync, the act so sensual that you can’t help it. In a blink of an eye, Raphael’s body is hovering above yours, and he’s letting your blood flood his mouth. He growls, the taste, the smell, the warmth of the angel blood overtakes his senses.
Raphael is now straddling you and unable to to control himself, as he was becoming drunk on your blood. The pain of his bite quickly turning to euphoria, as you grab at the rough material of the couch. Raphael grabs your hands and and pins them above your head. He can feel the strength steadily returning to his body.
“Raph, Raphael, please, oh god,” you’re wriggling underneath Raphael, struggling to free your hands, if only to run them through his hair. Raphael retracts his fangs from your neck and pulls away.
“Oh, so sweet, my love,” Raphael husks, licking the blood that dripped down his lips and chin. In an a moment of confidence, you lean forward and run your tongue along his jaw, catching a dribble of blood running down his chin. Raphael runs his own red tongue along your lips, and kissing you again.
You were crying out, mewling against his hair. He was a vampire for God’s sake, he was sucking your blood, and all you want was for him to-
Your breath sped up, and your heart as well. Your accelerated heart rate only made your blood flow faster into Raphael’s mouth and he could feel the strength rapidly returning to his body. You whined and moaned, grinding up into Raphael’s hips.
Your body began to feel limp. Raphael took so much blood. The world was beginning to spin, your vision becoming blurry.
“Raph,” you whisper, falling to the side, “Raph, stop, you can’t. You can’t. Raphael. Raph.”
Raphael was so caught up in drinking from your blood that he wasn’t listening to anything but your moans and whimpers. You bite your lip, high on euphoria, but needing him to stop before he drains you. Your hands manage to escape Raphael’s grip but he just takes hold of your head to keep you in place. Your fist thumps weakly against Raphael’s chest. “Raph…” you trailed off as your world began to dim. “Raph… stop.” Raphael payed no heed to your pleas. Perhaps he didn’t hear you. “Raphael…”
With that, your world went dark.
Raphael noticed something was off as soon as you fell quiet and your body went limp. Without a second thought, Raphael slides his fangs back into his mouth and he releases your neck from his mouth.
“Y/N, amor, my love…” Raphael trails off when he sees your body lying limp on the golden couch, blood running down your neck. “No!” he gasps. “No, no, no, no, no, please, Y/N. Please, no.” Raphael picks your body up in his arms, cradling you close to his chest. He ignores the blood dribbling from his chin onto your face, only focused on what he’d done. He almost drained you body of blood, and now you’re passed out in his arms because he lost control. Damn him and damn his hunger.
“No, no, please, I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, cradling your body to his chest. He knew he had to take you the Institute. As much as he despised the other Shadowhunters, and as much as he knew that they might just stake him through the heart, he knew that they were the only ones that could help you.
Alarms started going off as soon as Raphael stepped onto the Institute grounds. It hadn’t been 5 seconds before Alec Lightwood had an arrow pointed at Raphael’s face.
“Help her,” Raphael husks, before Alec can get a word out. Raphael is cradling you in his arms, not even caring that your blood is dripping onto his jacket. Alec’s face twists in anger when he sees your limp form. By this time, Simon had returned, unharmed to the hotel, but Raphael’s only care was you, the unconscious girl in his arms.
“What have you done?” Alec whispers in horror, reaching for you in Raphael’s arms. Raphael tightens his grip on you and backs away slightly, causing Alec to glare at him. “WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?!” Alec roars, damn near releasing the arrow from his bow straight through Raphael’s throat.
Raphael would have smirked at Alec’s frustration had he not been worried for your safety. “I-I didn’t mean to,” Raphael rasps, tone pleading for the oldest Lightwood to believe him. “Please, just help her.” His breath hitches as he realizes the full extent of what he’s done when his ears hone in on your heart beat and he hears how slow it is. And that’s when he knew, that he could never forgive himself.
“I’m so sorry, I never meant for this to happen.”
“You hurt her. You drank her blood. How could you do something like that?”
“I swear, I didn’t mean to. I, I couldn’t control myself.”
“Then learn to! You’re always telling me I need to be able to control my bloodlust, and you can’t do the same! And now Y/N is hurt and in pain because you almost drained her!”
“You should be.”
You awoke, blinking slowly as your eyes adjusted to the dim light. You closed your eyes again for a moment before letting yourself open them again. The first thing you notice is that you’re in the infirmary. The second thing is that Raphael was at your side. He’s sleeping beside you, with your hand grasped tightly in his own. Raphael looks so peaceful, a nice change from his usual cold expression. His face is relaxed, lips parted, and his eyes moved underneath his eyelids every so often. You watched Raphael in his slumber for what seemed like forever.
Slowly, Raphael’s eyes flickered open and focused on you. As soon as he comprehends that you’re awake, his face breaks out into a silly smile. The mischievous glimmer that was usually in his eyes was replaced by relief.
“Y/N.” Raphael stands and hovers over you. The hand that is not holding yours cups your face with such tenderness that you didn’t think that the heartless (literally) vampire was capable of. “How do you feel, mi amor?”
You croak out an answer, and before you can blink, Raphael is gone and back with a glass of water. He takes your hand again and puts the glass of water in your other hand. After the cold water washes the parchment-like feel from your throat, you answer Raphael’s question.
“I’m alright,” you say softly. “My neck is a little sore-”
“That would be my fault.”
“-how long was I out?”
Raphael scratches the back of his neck nervously. “3 days?” he says in a questioning tone. You’re eyes almost pop out of your head.
“3 da-” you fall back onto your pillow and place you free hand over your eyes. “Fuck.” Raph grins at your reaction, almost forgetting his guilt. Almost. You notice his troubled expression as he drops his eyes down to your intertwined hands. “Raph?” you say in a quiet voice, tilting his face upwards with a hand. He doesn’t meet your gaze. “It’s not your fault, you know. It’s hard for Downworlders to-”
“Resist angel blood, I know,” Raphael sighs as he squeezes your hand, before letting it drop to the mattress of the infirmary bed and stood up, facing away from you. He runs his hands through his hair, with was all tousled up from the amount of times he had already done that. “But this was something else entirely. This-this was what I tell Simon he can’t do. I-I lost control of my bloodlust. I can’t afford that to happen. I’m the leader of the Brooklyn Vampire Clan for Christ’s sake!” Raphael winced when he said and you couldn’t help but let the corner of your mouth tilt upwards. Raphael glares at you playful as you snort out a laugh. “You think my pain is funny do you?” he growls.
“‘Lil bit,” you shrugged, amused. “But seriously, it’s not your fault, Raph. It’s in your nature, don’t blame yourself.” When Raphael’s expression turned to one of disbelief, you immediately regretted your words. “Raphael, that’s not what I-”
“Meant?” Raphael’s face contorted in anger, “Right. Because I’m just another Downworlder. Because it’s in my nature.”
“Raph, please, I-”
“Save it, Y/N,” Raphael sneers and puts a hand up to stop you from continuing, “Just, forget about it. Why don’t you just rest up and get back to hunting Downworlders. After all, it’s in your nature, isn’t it?”
3 months later
You shrugged your black leather jacket off your shoulders and threw it onto the chair in the corner of your room. As you peeled off your black tank top, balled it up, and threw it into the laundry basket (making a perfect shot might I add), you caught a glimpse of yourself in the full length mirror by your wardrobe (Izzy idea, not yours). You sighed as you noticed the deep purple bags underneath your eyes. You can’t help but laugh out loud when you catch sight of the two fang shaped scars on your throat. That’s all you have to remember him by. A scar and absolutely no sleep. Well done, Y/N, well done. You didn’t bother to put on a shirt as you changed from your tight skinny jeans into a pair of leggings.
Tonight’s mission was worse than others. You kept seeing glimpses of Raphael while at Pandemonium. At first you passed it off as hallucinations, after all, you hadn’t been get much sleep for the past 3 months. And then you saw him, a human girl in his lap, and he was whispering into her ear, fangs flashing every so often. Enough was enough, you left the club immediately after you part in the mission was up, pausing only giving Magnus Bane a message to give to Alec. And then you headed straight back to the Institute.
You collapsed onto your bed as memories - happy memories - of Raphael flew around your head. No tears fell, you were numb at this point. Numb with pain. There was nothing left for you to do anymore except for wait for you to get over him. Wait for it to go away. Wait until you stopped seeing Raph’s disbelieving and hurt face every time you close your eyes. You began to drift off into a sort of waking dreams, half-sleep, that had taken over in the stead of sleep since Raphael left.
“Y/N! There’s something outside you need to see. Get the fuck up, Y/N! You have to see this.” Alec showed you no mercy as he grabbed your arm and dragged you out of bed. It wasn’t weird for any of the Shadowhunters at the Brooklyn Institute to see each other like this, they were practically family. So if anyone had a problem with Alec dragging you through the halls, half asleep, in just leggings and a sports bra, no one said anything. Alec pulled you along until you reached the main entrance to the Institute, opened the door and shoved you out in front of him.
“What the actual fuck, Alec?” you yawned and rubbed your eyes, irritated that Alec had woken you from what had seemed was about to be the only real good night’s sleep you’d have gotten for about 3 months and maybe the only one you would get for the next 6. The slam of the Institute’s door brought you to your senses that Alec had locked you out. And without your stele, you couldn’t get in unless someone let you in. “Fucking hell Alexander.”
The sound of someone clearing their throat caused you to turn away from the door to the marble stairs, pale pink rose petals littering the steps, all the way down to the bottom. And that is where Raphael stood, in his leather jacket, face pale as ever, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Your mouth dropped open and you covered it with your hand.
A small, sheepish smile spread of Raphael’s face at your reaction. As you slowly descended the marble stairs “So I was thinking…” he began. “Maybe we could start over?” As you finally reached him, he held out the bouquet of flowers. You take them from his hand and gently place them on the steps. Your noses are almost touching as Raphael whispers, “Raphael Santiago.”
You laugh through tears as you say, “Y/N Y/L/N, a pleasure.” Raphael takes your hand and brings it up to his mouth, cold lips ghosting over the back of your hand as he replies, “I assure you, Ms. Y/L/N, the pleasure is all mine.”
“Sunday night I was taking a flight back from San Francisco to Toronto and was stopped by security and ordered into additional screening. Now this is nothing new to me, as I’m a brown dude who flies quite often and these types of extra screening and searchings are regular occurrences. In this specific case however I was asked to remove my turban so it could go through an additional extra check. my first inclination was to say nah, I had a flight to catch and taking off a turban and tying it back on before a flight would be inconvenient. I asked to have a pat down instead (i get my clothes patted down, and those too are made of cloth, never asked to remove those) the manager insisted that either I would take off my turban and or I would be escorted back into the public area and I could book a flight with a different airline or airport.
They provided a private screening room, and after they had done a complete body search and scanned my turban through another x-ray… they came back and told me I was good to go.
It was at this point I asked for a mirror to retie my turban again, because unlike a hat or a shoe, tying a turban back on takes time and skill (great skill, only the manliest of men know) plus I gotta make sure i look extra crispy and good ALWAYS (my motto in life, most of the time when I’m not lazy of course) The officials responded that they don’t provide mirrors and one of them had even told me to walk down the nearest bathroom at the other end of the terminal, in public, without my turban on. Which completely defeats the purpose of being in a private room in the first place… why “undress” me and then tell me to walk out “undressed” to the nearest bathroom to retie my turban again? The turban is a sign of royalty, respect, dignity, courage and has a huge significance for my people.
I followed all the security protocols, asked whatever they wanted me to do, the issue isn’t JUST with the fact that I was asked to remove the turban (however silly it still is) but with the lack of respect and insensitivity when I asked for a simple request like a mirror to tie it back on again.
They see you in lingerie for the first time (S.Coups, The8, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Jun)
wow these are getting steamy
Seungcheol is going to be absolutely shameless while checking you out, like he’ll scan your body very carefully and one of his eyebrows will end up rising, and with a smirk tugging at his lips he’d finally look straight into your eyes. “Well, Y/N, that’s… definitely a nice surprise.” He wouldn’t have expected to see you in lingerie despite the two of you talking about it some time earlier, but boy, does he love the sight. He’ll beckon you to go closer to him, and when you’re in his reach, his hands would be all over you and he’d be pulling you even closer, and with his lips pressing to the skin of your chest, he’d mumble, “You look irresistible,” and as one might guess, he’d be very excited to have some fun with you.
Minghao would initially be a bit surprised, but when you give him a playful smirk and sway your hips a little, he’s gone. “Come here, baby,” would be the only words he’s able to say in that moment, and naturally, you’d do just that. The closer you get, the more Minghao lets his eyes wander on your body, and takes in every little detail of the lingerie and how good it looks on you. By the end, Minghao would be grinning and standing up, pulling you flush against himself. “It should be illegal to look that good.” You nibble on his lower lip while sliding your hand down his stomach, and it’s so obvious he’s impatient to get out of his pants.
Wonwoo, like the others, would love the sight, and would’ve probably brought up the idea himself. Upon the very first sight, he’d give you a lopsided grin and beckon you to come just a bit closer to him. When you’re close enough, he chuckles. “That’s good. Now, baby…” His voice would be so low that it makes you feel all kinds of things, much like the intense stare he’s giving you. “…could you dance for me a little?” You know exactly what he means, so you put on a show as you do just that, and eventually you end up giving him the lap dance of his life, which ends with him pulling you into a passionate kiss while his hands slide under the sheer material of the lingerie. “Do you have any idea how hot you are?”
Mingyu would be awestruck and give you the toothiest grin possible, and probably ask, “How did you know I wanted to see you wear that?” At which you playfully roll your eyes, because chances are he’s actually said he was interested in seeing you wear that piece of lingerie at an earlier point in time. All in all he’d be very excited and not shy in the least to tell you just how good you look, and he’d also let you feel how good he thinks you look, in one way or another. Like Jun, he’d also insist on you keeping it on, although chances are he’s going to fiddle with it so that certain areas are more available.
Jun would’ve bought you the piece of lingerie some time earlier, and probably suggested it earlier that day that you’d wear it. And when you do, he’d be grinning from ear to ear while his eyes practically eat you. “It looks just as good on you as I imagined.” You’d grin at his words and take a seat on his lap while he sits on the couch, and with his hands on your waist, playing with the material of the lingerie, you ask him if he wants to have sex while you wear it. Jun’s Adam’s apple would bob a little, and he’d instinctively push you down on him a little. “Please don’t take it off.”