Tw: weight and body dysmorphia

I’ve been feeling really crap about my weight recently. I’ve gained a bunch of weight for no reason and it makes me feel terrible. My boyfriend always tells me I’m beautiful and I don’t need to change, but I feel like he only says that because he feels like he has to.
Because I got a new job, I’m barely home and so I barely eat, and the job I have means I’m constantly on my feet, but my weight keeps going up and up and up. Every time I look in the mirror, I’m just a little bit bigger.
I just don’t know what to do.
Sorry for being a Debby downer. My boyfriend’s busy and I needed to rant.

REPEAT AFTER ME:

  • mental illnesses ARE NOT a fashion trend
  • mental illnesses SHOULD NOT be romanticised
  • people SHOULD NOT LIE about having mental illnesses just to seem “deep” or “interesting” or “edgy
  • mental illnesses SHOULD be taken seriously
  • IT IS A REAL PROBLEM THAT AFFECTS MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AND IS NOT “QUIRKY” IT IS AN ILLNESS THAT AFFECTS THE MIND AND HOW YOU FUNCTION ON A DAILY BASIS

“We need to realise that every one of us is different”, she advises. “We are all imperfectly perfect. I wanted to show society that beauty isn’t just about looking a certain way, we are all so different and we should all celebrate our individuality. I used to keep my beard for religious reasons, but now I keep my hair to show the world a different, confident, diverse and strong image of a woman. I love my beard, it has become a part of my body and I do not want to remove it. Love yourself, YOU are the only YOU that YOU have.” 

 This lady is badass! Check out the rest of the article to see what she says:

http://www.rocknrollbride.com/2015/06/flower-beard-bridals-with-harnaam-kaur/

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This powerful BFF video shows how painfully harsh we are to our own bodies– even when we are sincerely loving to our friends’

We often view and speak about ourselves far more critically than we would to other people, and a new video by The Scene called “Best Friends Get Brutally Honest About Their Bodies” proves that. In it, two best friends write down what they dislike about their looks, and then they have to say them out loud to each other.

Gifs: The Scene

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO

Diet and beauty culture thrive on guilt. Guilt over that delicious dessert. Guilt over that dress size. Guilt over those wrinkles. They teach you guilt and then they sell you the solution. Please, never feel guilty for existing. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to age. You are allowed to exist in the body you have right now without spending all of your time, money and self worth to change it.
—  Megan Crabbe, Bodyposipanda
vimeo

Here it is, my 3rd year film for uni!

DressLocked follows the struggles of a young lady who doesn’t like what she sees in the mirror. The simple task of getting dressed in the morning has her battling her dark thoughts.

Dresslocked touches upon how some people may deal with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a disorder many of us suffer from without even knowing.

While you’re all losing weight and/or making changes to your body, I hope you still love how you are right now. How you look doesn’t determine your value. Instead of wasting time hating your body, put energy into how you live your life.

11 Things Everyone Dealing With BDD Should Say (But Can’t).

1. “I’m sorry that I’m constantly focused on my appearance; I don’t mean to irritate anybody. But I can’t stop.”

2. “When I rant about how shitty I look, it’s not to get sympathy, and it’s definitely not to make anybody else feel worse about themselves. It’s actually just how I see myself, every day - And sometimes I just get sick of it.”

3. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help.”

4. “Don’t tell me I’m being ‘superficial’, ‘trivial’, or ‘obsessive’. I’m already fully fucking aware - trust me.”

5. “I’m sorry I can’t stop fixating on diets, or surgery, or whatever fucking fix I think I need. Again, I’m fully aware that I’m as obsessive as hell.”

6. “I don’t mean to give off the impression that looks are all that matter. They’re not. I know they’re not, but it feels like they are.”

7. “The only person I’m judging by these insane standards is myself.”

8. “Every time I’m in public, I can tell people are staring at me. I know they might not be, I know they probably couldn’t care less about a random passer-by like me, but I can tell they’re staring at me.”

9. “I hate myself every time I look in the mirror - and not knowing if what I’m seeing is ‘real’, an ‘exaggeration’, or ‘not as bad as I think it is’, only makes me feel worse.”

10. “I’m sorry if you’re feeling fed up with me. I’m pretty damn fed up with me too.”

11. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be more than this.”

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND BDD:

People normally don’t get BDD because they can’t wrap their heads around the fact that what they see when they look at someone with this disorder is different than what that person sees when they looks at themselves.
I constantly get asked questions like “so do you like see a fat girl when you look in the mirror?” or “do you see like, a different person looking back at you? Isn’t that freaky???” No. I see me. I am well aware that I am looking a myself & I know it’s confusing but I’m going to try to explain:

So this is a picture of a wolf yes? (bear with me)

he’s just nice & happy howling at a mountain nothing special rock on wolf you keep doin you

BUT if you look closer (specifically to the right of the wolf right above the water) you’ll see that, within the mountains, the rocks & shit form another howling wolf. & HEY LOOK to the left of that new wolf is yet another howling wolf. So now we see 3 distinct wolves howling together & being friends & whatnot.

But now that you’ve seen those other 2 wolves, you can’t go back to just seeing one wolf howling at a mountain can you? & even if you can it takes significant effort. Some people may look at this picture for as long as they can & not be able to see more than one wolf if they tried, (or not idk this is kind of a bad example the other 2 wolves are easy to find but just roll with this), but as soon as you’ve seen the hidden wolves, you can’t UNsee them.

This, to me, is exactly like body dysmorphia. People think, “well how is it possible for someone to look in the mirror & see something different than what’s there?” that’s because whatever we see IS there (at least to some degree) and while someone may be looking at a person with BDD, the little details that their general view may overlook are extremely prominent to that person. Once we see these flaws, it’s almost impossible for us to unsee them, even if no one else can.
Just like with this picture, multiple people may be looking at the same general image, but seeing completely different things.

youtube

It’s not really my style to ask people to reblog things, but this is really important to me.

I spent a few days thinking about societal standard of beauty after livingwithouted asked me if I had any advice for curvy girls who feel pressured to lose weight.

what resulted was a 20 minute video where I talk about fat-shaming, body image, self esteem and peer pressure.

Certain parts of this were really hard to talk about, and I had to edit out a small section in the middle where I got too emotional to actually speak, but I want people to watch and see this.

You are wonderful. You are important. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, bring you down or pressure you to change.