body by dan

ok but that whole succulent spray ‘prank’ and phil doing a full body laugh after he sprays dan with it and dan not even being able to fight his smile watching phil be so happy …… … and then dan’s little squeaky giggles during that whole explanation of how phil frequently fails miserably at pranking him … omg …… . . he was so fucking fond wtfdflksdf and i’m still crying about phil admitting that his pranks more often than not just turn into them making awkward eye contact while he stands in a strange location and waves at dan

he “““pranks”””” dan for no other reason than to make him laugh, not for a video or anything else, just kicks and literal giggles and then it ends up working but not in the way he wants, dan just giggles bc he thinks phil is cute when he messes it up wtdfFUCK :(

7

Dan and Phil x Harry Potter x Life is Strange Crossover

[Part 2 here]

A Concept: You play as Daniel Howell, a young half-blood wizard who mysteriously receives time-rewinding powers at the beginning of his first year at Hogwarts. He realizes his powers do not adhere to the same spatiotemporal constraints as time turners: they do not obey the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle, and can only rewind up to five minutes at a time.  Unbeknownst to Dan, his powers are finite - the rate of depletion is available only to you, the player, in a meter on the right of the screen. For the first half of his time at Hogwarts, you use Dan’s powers to remake decisions to make life easier for him and his Muggle-born best friend Phil. Then, in his fourth year, Harry Freakin’ Potter returns from the maze with a dead body and life for Dan gets really dark really quickly. You realize too late you should probably have conserved your powers for the war.

There are four fixed events in the game: Befriending Phil, Cedric’s death, Dumbledore’s death, and Dan’s powers running out sometime during the Battle of Hogwarts.

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Newsies from Nationals 2012
We had a very special treat this season at Nationals!!! The Broadway Cast from Newsies performed Seize the Day for us!!! It was an amazing experience! They a...

do my eyes deceive me or does this performance have mike fucking faist as jack kelly?

(this might be the closest thing we have to a mike faist boot alright i need some assurance here) 

I have kind of a pudgy smile, but so does Dan Howell so its okay.

I have a hunch when I walk but so does Tyler Joseph so its okay.

I avoid eye contact when I talk but so does Josh Dun so its okay.

I’ve got really long fingers but so does Phil Lester so its okay.

I’ve got a little bit of pudge on my waist but so does Dan so its okay.

I’m not perfect, but neither are the people I look up to, and that makes me feel so much better.

Family’s What You Make Of It

Family’s What You Make Of It | It starts when Dan stumbles through the door of his two bedroom flat with an attractive stranger attached to his mouth, and it ends with, well… a family. Or, the one where Dan is a single father of a three year old, who intends for Phil to be nothing more than a one night stand until he see’s him interact with his daughter for the first time. | Phan | Mature | Smut, self-neglect, implied self-esteem issues, single father Dan | 4,374 Words

Thank you so @phansdick for encouraging me (as always) and then being wonderful and beta’ing for me without me even having to ask ;)

(Ao3 Link)

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tfc characters as Bob's the burger quotes
  • Neil: Oh it’s okay, I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.
  • Andrew: Oh, I swear to god, if you keep talking to me I'm gonna gut punch you.
  • Kevin: You guys are a burden, a dead weight!
  • Nicky: I've eaten nine birthday cakes, and I still feel empty.
  • Aaron: If you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying.
  • Allison: I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.
  • Dan: I’m a smart strong sensual woman.
  • Matt: Do you think horses get songs stuck in their head?
  • Renee: What is this feeling I'm feeling right now? It's like I'm sad for another person? Is that a thing?
  • Wymack: Listen, you’re my children and I love you but you’re all terrible at what you do here.

My take on the “Neil dies in Baltimore” au:

Here’s a list of reasons why Andrew is considering death-by-FBI-agent-who-won’t-shut-up:

  1. Neil is dead.
  2. Neil obviously knew he was going to die, since he made sure to break his contract with Andrew.
  3. He didn’t catch the strain in Neil’s voice when he said “You were amazing” until later, when it was too late.
  4. Now that it’s too late, he can’t stop hearing it. That little waver, like it meant more than it was saying, which now he knows it was but he was too fucking dense to realize it.
  5. Even after the disappearance, even after hours of nothing and then the FBI call and Kevin’s stupid confession and stupid throat (which he fully intends to come back to crushing later), Neil was alive.
  6. But not long enough for them to reach the hospital.

And now here they are, in the hospital lobby, being talked down to by an idiot in a suit trying to make excuses for why the FBI needs his body.

“He is ours,” Dan growls. Actually growls. “You said his father is dead now, and his mother’s been dead for years, so that means we’re his closest family.”

But all Agent Dick dous is raise an eyebrow. “How do you know that Mary Wesninski is dead?” It has the clearly desired effect of shutting Dan up. There are a thousand innocent answers to that question, but they’re Foxes. Nobody ever gives them the benefit of the doubt.

“We need to conduct a full autopsy, get a clearer picture of what was done to him. We’ll hand him over to you post-cremation.”

Matt shakes his head. “Not good enough.”

“You all need to get this into your heads: Neil Josten isn’t real and never was. He was a halfway decent cover that, honestly, probably would’ve been passable if he hadn’t thrown caution to the wind time and again over the past year. He was playing a part, and now he’s dead, and those are the facts.”

Andrew is aware that they’re talking about a corpse, but that complete disregard for who Neil was makes him want to rip out the man’s throat. Anger colors his vision red, but it’s better this way. Because as soon as the red leaves, the gray will settle in, and it will never, ever go away.

“Here’s another fact,” Agent Dick continues. “People don’t spend months in close company of others without letting something slip. So I’m going to need all of you to come in and te—”

“That’s enough, Agent Browning,” a new voice calls to them. A second later, a woman appears next to the agent, towering over him by a good half a foot. “Say another word to them and I’ll personally make sure that anything they say becomes inadmissible in court.” She turns to the Foxes. “Hi, sorry, I’m Ms. Waters. I was — still is, technically — Nathaniel’s lawyer.”

Kevin’s face goes ashy, likely imagining the worst. “He was here for six hours before dying. Why the hell would he need a lawyer?”

Ms. Waters pulls out several small white envelopes by way of response. “Because he didn’t trust Agent Chucklehead over hear to not open these before you recieved them.” She hands each Fox their own envelope, with their name written on the front in Neil’s familiar scrawl. Wymack doesn’t get an envelope.

It makes Andrew’s chest ache and his heart boil, and he doesn’t trust himself to speak. He knows what’s inside that letter: a sequel and an epilogue. All of Neil’s bullshit sap wrapped in a promise that he’ll never have it again. He doesn’t even know wether he wants to read it or tear it into a million pieces. Probably both.

“—two requests,” it takes Andrew a second to register that Ms. Waters is talking again. “That you read your letters in private, and that you destroy them after reading. Preferably with fire.” She smiles at their confused stares and nods at Agent Dick. “Browning here is a man of many words, but he spends very few eandearing himself to others. Nathaniel was likely afraid that he would try to read them.

“In any case, I’ll be in touch soon. Nathaniel left a great deal behind, and while the FBI can scramble over his past, it’s my job to sort out his present, and that means you.” She gives Wymack a teal business card. “In case you need me urgently, in the case I don’t contact you first. Now run along, you were all injured and in need of rest.”


The bus ride back to Palmetto is silent, but nobody is asleep. Like Andrew, they all sit on their individual benches, staring at their letters, trying to decide wether they wan’t to know or not. Is it an explanation? Apology? Questions too big for the heart to ask or recieve an answer to.

In the end, it’s Nicky who breaks the silence. “I know he said to read them alone, but… anybody want to open their’s with me? I just. I can’t. Not alone. Not on this.”

There’s silence again, but then Renee comes to sit next to Nicky, and then Allison, and the next thing he knows he, Kevin, and Aaron are the only ones not crowded together in a massive group hug. There’s sniffling, then a countdown from three, and the sound of several envelopes tearing and pages unfolding. And then silence again.

And then.

And then.

Dan’s been captain of the Foxes for years, but Andrew doesn’t think he’s ever heard her yell that loudly as her ARE YOU SHITTING ME vibrates throughout the bus. The rest of the Foxes are quick to follow with their own sounds of anger and disbelief.

It’s when Nicky starts laughing hysterically that Andrew finally succumbs to his curiousity and opens the letter, skimming over the words.

Andrew is going to fucking kill that boy when he gets his hands on him.
Show Me

summary: dan has gained some weight after the end of tatinof. his parents come over and his mother notices and chaos ensues. not really. how will phil help dan gain his confidence back and prove to dan that he’s still attracted to him regardless of the weight gain?

words: 3.7k

warnings: body image, fat shaming, swearing, smut……… 

genre: smut, angst

a/n: so this was a request from an anon and it’s the first request i’ve ever gotten (thanks anon!!!) and it’s my first time posting smut lol so i hope this wasn’t shit also sorry if i went off track a bit from what you wanted, anon!!

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