body boards

Tim: Jason, why did you send a ridiculous amount of cheesecake to the Joker?

Jason: *Crosses out the words ‘hot body’ on a chalk board.*

Tim: Ya know what. We are gonna go get you some help. All the help Bruce’s money can buy. Like Dr. Phil and Oprah on the same episode help.

anonymous asked:

Hey TT, I'm curious. How do you feel about plus-sized women? I'm a pretty curvy dame, and most of the time I am 100% happy with my body, but every now and then I just feel like a lumpy menace to society, so I was just curious if you have thoughts or opinions on the matter?

(( OOC: I think body-types across the board are beautiful. My friends and family have a wide spectrum of body types, every single one of them looks different… and all of them are healthy, beautiful people. 

There is so much to appreciate about every body type. We need to start focusing more on the needs for our bodies to be healthy, and those needs are completely different depending on the person. “Skinny” does not determine healthy. 

We’re all built differently, and if people took more time to notice how unique every body is, and payed less attention to the ideal cookie-cutter frame that society tries to squeeze us all into, life would be a lot more “beautiful”. )) 


UNSPKN page 1

Set after the events of “Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach” fanfiction, comic will focus on beloved skelebros and their great need of psychotherapy after all that happened.

Also it’s not a spoiler, it’s just my version of (another) epilogue. Heh.

I wonder how long can i pull this off….

- Next

Original fanfic - here

ransom and holster get married the summer before their senior year
  • they decide not to change their names
    • birkholtz-oluransi is way too long for a jersey
    • so is oluransi-birkholtz obviously
    • also, two players with the same last name on the same line who are both captains? too confusing.
    • ransom has to fill out med school entrance exams and there are never enough boxes that he’d be able to put birkholtz-oluransi
      • sometimes he has to be O L U R A N S, J U S T I N
  • they obviously got married at niagara falls. they send pics to the grouptext and post them all over facebook
    • but
    • they forget to mention the marriage part
    • they’re so excited about all the other stuff they did that they just. forget
    • there are pictures from the actual wedding on the actual boat that goes under the falls
    • but they don’t send any of the ceremony just of them being incredibly happy, which is, honestly, not out of the ordinary
  • they asked the whole team to come up but they never explicitly said Come To Niagara Falls For Our Actual Wedding, just ‘hey you guys should all come up !!’
  • they wear their rings but after holster got a weird bruise on his hand from the ring when his hand got trapped between his body and the boards in their first practice, they wear them on necklaces
  • everyone knew they were gonna live together after graduation
  • the first time the guys realize they’re together, like a couple, never mind married is when they post a pic, kissing, showing off their rings, captioned ‘so grateful we get to be together for the rest of their lives’
    • the team is like CONGRATS BROS!!!! 
      • the guys all think r&h have just gotten engaged
      • but no one says the words ‘engaged’ or ‘married’ or ‘wedding’
      • so ransom and holster are like ‘thanks!!’ and they don’t say ‘it’s our first anniversary’ because they think everyone already knows that
      • bitty is internally like ‘do they know their rings are on the wrong hand!!! do i tell them????!!!!???’
  • eventually the guys are like ‘damn this is a long-ass engagement’
    • whiskey and tango have gotten together gotten married and adopted a child and ransom and holster are still engaged
    • chowder and farmer have three children and farmer got a master’s, a phd, and the first authorship on the discovery of a new kind of whale and ransom and holster are still engaged
    • they must be waiting until ransom’s got a solid position in his hospital and holtz is out of the nhl (it’s gotten better with lgbt athletes, what with jack and kent and a couple others, but it’s still not great, and holster’s good but not a wunderkind like jack or kent, so his being publicly gay might be messy)
  • the guys don’t actually figure out that ransom and holster are married until ten years after the fact
    • r&h invite everybody out to seattle for their tenth anniversary
    • everyone goes even though they’re like ‘uh. anniversaries are usually for weddings not engagements. but whatever these are our bros and we support them’
    • shitty gives them a bunch of tin and tells them to appropriate WASP marriage culture (bc, u know, one is Black, one is Jewish, neither of them are married)
    • lardo’s like ‘also it’s your ninth?? shitty’s getting tenth reunion emails, our tenth reunion and thus your tenth anniversary won’t be until next summer’
    • tango’s just like ‘are you guys ever gonna get married??’
  • ransom and holster are very confused
    • uh guys??? you know we’re married right?
    • i mean we’re not as Married TM as jack and bitty or god forbid chowder and farmer but… we are. definitely married
    • we’ve been married for a decade
    • we call each other our husbands
    • ‘i mean…. it’s in the title….. it’s our tenth anniversary…. so……. ten years ago’
  • bitty, shocked and horrified: ‘you didn”T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING????????’
    • rans: ‘bro we did’
    • bitty: ‘you most certainly did not!’
    • holtz: ‘we invited all you guys?’
    • everyone: ‘lies, we never got invited to any wedding’
    • ‘we invited everyone up to niagara over the summer? nobody came which was kind of a bummer honestly’
  • lardo, who has been silently rethinking life: ‘but that means you would have been married our entire senior year’
    • holster: ‘you are not wrong’
    • ransom: ‘why did you think all the married students housing applications kept being delivered to the haus’
    • dex: ‘nursey and i were pretty sure it was because of chowder’
    • chowder: ‘i didn’t get married THAT early’
  • ransom and holster are forced to resort to pulling out their actual legal marriage certificates
    • both of them
    • from two countries
  • shitty needs to sit down and reevaluate his entire life
  • bitty is mortified that he never made them a wedding cake or a marriage pie or anything
  • whiskey walks in late to the discussion because he was changing his and tango’s daughter’s diaper
    • he silently hands over a card. it just says ‘happy ten years. niagara has never seen a stronger love’
    • whiskey has been fully aware that ransom and holster were married. 
    • for a decade.
  • he was actually their legal witness.
    • because he was the only one who shOWED UP THAT WEEKEND
    • he wasn’t even on the team
    • he still doesn’t know how he got added to the grouptext
    • he just showed up because he thought it was some kind of team bonding thing
    • his cousin john said he should go, said it would be ‘narratively entertaining’

tl;dr: ransom and holster got married and managed to accidentally not tell anyone on smh for ten entire years

brought to you in part by @the-strangest-sea

Checking 101

Someone wanted me to go through each type of check and explain the different between all of them. So here’s a brief intro to checking in ice hockey!

Legal Hits

  • Body Checking - this is the generic type of check. generally the player isn’t leading with any particular part of the body. This is usually done against the boards during puck battles, to separate a player from the puck, or to knock them to the ice. Body Checking is only legal when done to a player who is in control of the puck. Body checking is also allowed in womens sports to a smaller degree, for instance contact is allowed if the ref thinks the players target was not the player but instead they were going for the puck.
  • Hip Check - This is when a player will crouch and hit the other player with their hip (or butt). This would usually involve targeting the other player in the hips as well as a way to throw them off balance. these are the types of hits goalies will usually go to if they do decide to hit, or if a player ends up upside down and flipping through the air it’s usually because of a hip check. It is usually done against the boards though so, the flipping doesn’t happen too often.
  • Shoulder Check - You may have already found the theme here but basically this is when a player hits another leading with the shoulder. Shoulders checks are used to knock a player out of position and involve usually shoulder to shoulder contact because the player needs to keep their elbows tucked in and their shoulder away from the head for it to be considered legal.
  • Poke Check - Okay now we’re getting further away from the physical body to body checks but this still counts because the stick is considered part of the player technically. Anyway a poke check is when the defensive player uses their stick to poke the puck away from the offensive player. This does not generally involve contact between the two players and is used simply to cause a turn over or defend the net.
  • Forecheck - This is a more general term for basically the way you play in the offensive zone. It can more specifically refer to the offensive player that recovers the puck after it’s dumped into the offensive zone. THis way involve body contact against the boards and a puck battle.
  • Back check - Similar to a forecheck but the opposite basically. It’s defensive play in the defensive zone. Usually involves some combination of sticking yourself to the offensive player and trying to knock the puck from them at the same time. Since hockey tends to be defended by zones, you won’t necessarily see one defender all up on a specific guy but they’ll kind of attack the player in waves as a way to keep them away from the net.

Illegal Hits

  • Cross checking - this is a pretty easy illegal hit to identify. Cross checking happens when a player hold the stick in both hands and pushes into the opposing player in kind of a bench press motion away from their chest. This can lead to the stick being broken over the opposing players body or more likely send them tumbling down. Either way because it’s illegal you’ll usually see it away from the play or after the whistle, because it’s already illegal so they don’t have to follow the other rules about hitting.
  • Elbowing - this occurs when a player leads with the elbow into a hit. Generally it’s towards the head and players try to play it off as saying they were going for a shoulder check and the other player somehow moved into their elbow. This is illegal for obvious reasons I think - elbows are dangerous as fuck.
  • Knee on Knee - This is pretty self explanatory, when two players are skating at each other and one leads with the knee with the intent to hit the other player in the knees, that’s what we call a knee on knee hit. These are very dangerous because knees are very important and similar to the head, one bad hit to them and that can be the end of someone’s career. Also sort of related to a hip check, any hit below the knees is considered illegal.
  • Hit to the head - All these types of hits are illegal. If you aim for the head and they can prove you intended to hit the head, that’s an illegal check. Some things that would make a hit to the head legal include, if the player was on the way down and the hitter could not have anticipated it, or if the player intentionally put themselves into a dangerous position to get a longer penalty. You’ll also see sometimes hits to the head are not considered dangerous simply because the player hit was not paying attention and therefore the hitter had a reasonable expectation of the player being able to avoid the contact and did not.
  • Boarding - This is a type of body check that occurs against the boards. Players against the boards are considered to be significantly more vulnerable than players in open ice.  Players against the boards will usually be facing the boards with their backs exposed as a way to protect the puck. Boarding is an intentional hit of a vulnerable player against the boards and the penalty assessed can be increased in severity if the player hits the other in the numbers on the back of their jersey.
  • Charging - this is usually involved in boarding but can happen in open ice as well. Basically if you build up momentum by taking intentional strides towards an exposed player. Stridse can obviously be taken as long as it’s far enough away from the player about to be hit.
  • Interference - This is not necessarily a type of check however it would be in certain circumstances. If a player were to body check another when they did not have the puck this would be interference. basically you can only check a player with the puck. otherwise it’s interference.
  • A note on illegal body checks - One other thing would make a body check illegal. This ties in to hitting the head but basically if you hit another player you are not allowed to leave your feet to do so. 

Hopefully i covered everything !

ASOF: Redeye.

A/N; This is my new series! ASOF means a series of firsts. I really hope you like it, don’t worry I won’t leave you hanging for too long. ;) <3

Pairing: ScottMccallxOC

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: NSFW.

Word count: 6,862

Listen to this.

Originally posted by sensuous

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