i just miss johnny so much man. i hope he's okay and i hope that if he comes back i can stop being such a douche. cause i just block out all my emotions all the time cause i don't wanna get hurt, ya know? but he's like the light of my life. he makes me feel, man. and i just wanna protect him from all the bad things that keep happening to him but i can't actively do that because if i do then i'll blow my cover and everybody will find out how i feel and if i even admit how i feel to myself it'll ruin everything so i just have to protect him from a distance, but i feel like that isn't enough and it hurts. and now i really can't do anything because he's in a fucking church and he's gonna die in like two chapters and i can't take that. he's what's been keeping me going. i want to be a better man for him, because he deserves that you know. but it's hard and i feel like i'm not enough and i never will be enough and he's too pure and so i'll just ruin him even more. and sometimes i lie to myself and say everything will turn out fine but i know it won't. we're greasers and he just killed a kid and i can barely take care of myself let alone him. which i don't need to worry about too much i guess because he can hold his own in a rumble and stuff and he takes a shit ton of beatings from his old man. ugh i hate thinking about that. i wish we could both just go out in the country and live alone with a couple horses. maybe a dog, but it'd be his dog cause animals don't like me except for ponies. not ponyboy though i'm pretty sure that kid hates me. but it wouldn't matter cause it'd just be me and johnny cakes in a little country house with no worries at all. man i just wish we could be together. the world is fucked but i would beat the shit out of every single fucker in this town for me and him, you know man. he just makes me feel that strongly, y'know?
the store clerk that dally pointed a gun at:
the entire world:
i sAID I LIKE GIRLS AND ALCOHOL AND THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS,, NOTHIN LEGAL M,AN, I HAVE NO EMOTIONS WHATSOEVER, SEE WATCH ME BE APATHETIC, goD DON'T GET WISE YOU PUNKS
College-age boy dressed as a wizard looking for a book on healing crystals.
Man who flicked water on my co worker because there were no paper towels left in the men’s bathroom.
Multiple accounts of people trying to use their old Borders Rewards cards in place of a B&N membership.
Prank caller asking for a book by “Seymour Butts.”
Middle-aged man sitting in the Newsstand area eating a 7-11 Big Gulp slurpee with a spoon and doing nothing else.
Small child that ate a Godiva chocolate santa right out of the foil…in the middle of the register aisle.
Multiple instances of me asking male customers if they need help, being denied, and then watching them approach my male co-workers with a question about a science fiction/fantasy novel.
Being scolded by a nun for selling Playboy magazine.
Cutting myself with a boxcutter, holding my bleeding hand, and being asked by a customer if my register was open.
Soccer mom that reported me to a manager for asking her to step to the back of the line after she cut in front of five people.
Almost daily instances of finding books from the Love & Sex bay in the Children’s department.
Elderly European couple that steals chairs from other people’s tables so they can put their feet up with pillows they brought from home.
Multiple instances of going to the bathroom and hearing someone talking to themselves in the neighboring stall. (This literally happened to me twice today.)
Elderly man that told my manager to tuck in his shirt.
Different elderly man universally known to the staff as “Membership Guy.” 100% believes that you are out to steal all his information and ruin his life by asking if he’s a Barnes & Noble member.
A coworker asking Membership Guy if he found everything alright, to which he replied, “why the FUCK would I be up here if I didn’t find everything alright?!”
The time a dude from Texas Roadhouse came in gave us free bread and cinnamon butter.
Woman whose cafe order totaled $6.66 and bought an extra cupcake to avoid “bad juju.”
Elderly man with a painted on mustache and off-kilter wig that tries to show everyone YouTube videos of his nephew’s band. The fact that you’re in the middle of making five drinks at once will not stop him.
Man who ferociously denied donating to our annual book drive because “the government has taken enough from him.” (?????)
Dude that asked me to help him find a book called “100 Nights of Great Sex” while his wife looked on with dead eyes.
Woman that told me I was “shit at my job” for being unable to find a book that she didn’t know the title or author of, only that it was white.
Regular customer known as “Monopoly Guy” because he always wears a top hat. Constantly hits on one specific female employee and frequently calls to see if she’s working. Was once caught jacking off in the parking lot by a co worker.
Woman that blatantly refused to leave the store after close because it was raining.
Drawing one of the manager’s names for our annual Secret Santa exchange and buying him Managing for Dummies, which he quickly whited out to say Managing Dummies.
Being rolled around on a V-cart by a co worker.
Woman that continued knocking on the window after close and demanded we let her in because she had a gift card.
The number one item most frequently stolen being Magic the Gathering cards.
Elderly woman buying romance novels and loudly announcing “since I’m not getting any, I might as well read about it.”
Redneck man reporting the head cashier to me because apparently asking him if he was a Barnes & Noble member was “being a bitch.”
Woman that demanded I ring her up over the phone and then bring her purchase to her car.
Mall Santas repeatedly coming in for a coffee break in full costume.
Catching a (now unemployed) co worker reading manga on the clock. Every. Single. Day.
Woman that asked me to help her find a book while I was washing my hands in the bathroom.
Two college boys looking for books on “growing indoor plants.”
A man that called the store just to ask where the nearest RadioShack was.
Watching a co worker get yelled at for using the credit card in the customer’s hand instead of the one in her purse.
Being asked to make an “iced hot chocolate.” After explaining to the customer that what they were asking for was chocolate milk, they furiously repeated “NO. I want an iced hot chocolate.”
Woman that demanded the corporate number and my name after telling her that she couldn’t return a book with a receipt from 2009.
Being tearfully hugged by a widowed dad for finding him books to help him teach his daughter about puberty.
Performing the yearly missing child drill with an Elf on the Shelf doll labeled “Bob.”
The managers hiding Bob around the store during the holidays and awarding prizes if we find him.
And lastly (for now, anyway)…
Being forced to wear the ridiculous costumes for Friday night storytimes.