bob-kent

this holiday season, i’m eternally grateful that alicia and bob knew about kent, because that means they’ve been in jack’s corner in every way since then

i’m eternally grateful they told jack explicitly, or at least acted effusive enough, that he truly thinks they “love the idea that [they’re] together”

i’m eternally grateful that jack is now 100% himself with his parents, can love bitty out in the open within most of their circle, and is thinking about coming out to all the people who he thinks should know

he’s in the nhl, he’s got an a, he’s in love, and he’s out to most of the people who matter to him. what a year for jack zimmermann! bless us every one

Photograph

So, I wrote this almost a year ago, but everyone and their goat knows that I am slow with posting things and hoard fics like they’re going out of style.

Anyways, enjoy.

Photograph

It starts as an unimportant event, in the grand scheme of things. Bob gets Alicia one of those new digital cameras for her birthday, since they are all the rage and Jack’s interest is piqued.

Alicia doesn’t mind showing him how it works. The camera can store many pictures and they can delete the ones they don’t want to print.

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some observations on 3.13
  • did they tell the tadpoles? tango was in the background of their snowball fight when bitty is talking about the team knowing
  • that’s incredible that jak is an a his first season. definitely blurring some realism lines, but he’s a wonderful young man and only deserves good things
  • not over jack wearing rubber gloves, sudsin’ it up in the sink. please imagine the tadpoles just standing there, watching him with fascination because nhl star jack zimmermann is hand washing dishes in their frat house sink
  • george looks so proud (as she should be)! she’s his mom away from home <3 
  • suzanne is such a sweetheart, trying to be interested in what interests her son, getting as passionate about it as he is
  • speaking of, get. it. suzanne.
  • bittersweet little reminder during their walk that they can’t be out to everyone, but i’m so happy they can be out to the people who matter
  • the zimmermanns love bitty, love that they are together, want to have dinner with him as jack’s boyfriend, and bob is looking out for jack. what a glorious direction of events ☀️
  • very interesting the insinuation that bob knows other closeted players and that maybe players were dating each other. i think that’s probably the last we will hear of it, but it’s so good to know this isn’t unknown to good guys like bob in the league
  • maybe i’m wrong and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but if bob and alicia knew about kent, maybe it was a little more than “hooking up a few times”. it just has never sat right with me that that’s all it was to jack. i’ve made my peace with the fact he wasn’t in LOVE with kent, but i just can’t deal with him not caring at ALL
  • god jack and bitty are so fucking sweet. jack is literally going to spend thousands of dollars on their fines omg
A Wall Around Me

Title: A Wall Around Me
Author: angryspaceravenclaw
Rating: Mature
Warnings: None Apply
Completed: Yes
Word count: 59630
Summary: When Eric Bittle’s scholarship is threatened, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He can’t go home, and he can’t afford Samwell on his own. Then help is offered from the most unexpected place–Hockey Legend, Bad Bob Zimmermann. Bitty knows things like this don’t come for free, he just never expected he’d have to “look after” Bob’s equally famous son, Falconers’ captain, Jack Zimmermann.

Most memorable line: “At least call me Bob,” he replied with a laugh. “I think we’ve come that far.”

Zimbits

A Wall Around Me

Chapter- 12/ 13 (chapters 1-11 on ao3)

Zimbits/Patater

Rating: Mature

*** 

Eric woke feeling strange. Not bad strange, but different strange. He knew where he was, he knew why he was there. He knew what the warm, heavy weight was lying across his stomach. His heart began pounding almost immediately, and his eyelids fluttered, though he didn’t open them just yet.

He could tell by the way Jack’s arm was around him, by the way Jack was breathing, he was awake. Jack’s fingers were drawing gentle lines along Eric’s ribs, the pressure not enough to have woken him, but not light enough to tickle.

Gathering himself, he dared to turn over, to open his eyes and look at the man he’d fallen so hard for. Eric Richard Bittle was a brave man, but this took courage he didn’t think he’d ever have. Because he could open his eyes and see hesitation, or regret. He could open his eyes and be let down—however gently Jack wanted to do it, and it would devastate him.

Eric didn’t fall often, but he fell hard. And now was no different.

He swallowed and felt a thrill running up his spine, and finally let himself look.

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-Okay so back to the op of Jack and Bits having twins. You know that Bad Bob would spend so much money on them??? Like one of the twjns would be like “Gramps :( I broke my toy :(“ and Bob is just immediately at the store, trying to figure out Which toy would make his grandkids happy.

-One day the kids break a vase and one of them is crying and the other is just trying to clean it up and trying to take the blame for it and Bob is like “no no it’s fine please don’t be upset” and Alicia is like “Bob that vase was a wedding present from my mother” and Bob is like “I’ve been trying to break it for years, Alicia” and Alicia rolls her eyes but laughs anyway because damn if Bob wasn’t right.

-The twins getting made fun of for any reason at all and half of the Providence Falconers (still playing and retired), former Stanley cup winners Jack Zimmermann, Alexei Mashkov, and Kent Parson, cook show host Eric Bittle, NHL coach Bad Bob Zimmermann, former model and current judge on America’s Next Top Model Alicia Zimmermann, renowned biologist Justin Oluransi, sitcom actor Adam Birkholtz, a decidedly not chill award winning poet, an angry redhead, the goalie for the San Jose Sharks, famous artist Larissa Duan-Knight and her lawyer husband, Georgia Martin, and an angry southern woman who is honestly is the most terrifying of them all are all at school, dealing with the problem and Bits is like “Jack, honey, half of the team and your parents didn’t have to come.” and Jack is like “Bud, you brought your mom, I needed people to hold her back in case it got messy.”

-The twins are just done with their family, rolling their eyes but ever grateful, while Patater’s kid is in the midst of a fistfight with the kid that messed with them.

-One twin is a cis boy and the other is more fluid in their gender, Patater’s kid is a transgirl, and when Patater’s daughter gets her first partner the twins are happy for her, but a little apprehensive. She’s constantly shaking her head and going on about “her twins”.

-She mellows out as the years go on but still has a fiery temper that helps her in boxing.

-One of the twins plays the violin, she plays piano, and the other twin plays an electric guitar. They win their 10th grade talent show.

-One twin is valedictorian and the other gets his GED, which took a lot of thinking about. School was never his forte and he feels like he’s going to fail in life until he talks to Jack and Bits, who let him know they’ll love him and support him no matter what.


Honestly please talk to me about the twins and Patater’s daughter because I’m bored af and I want to share my ideas and I want to hear yours.

Common (Head?)canon: #BadBobKnewFirst

Reverse Headcanon: #BadBobKnewLast

———

Bob: Wait, you’re dating that Bitty boy?  Since when?

Jack: Since graduation. Remember when you told me to “say goodbye” to him  at the ceremony?

Bob: I thought we were talking about that cute tennis girl. I didn’t even know you liked boys!

Jack: Really?  Even when Kent and I were together?

Bob: You and Kent were together?! Alicia, did you know about this?

Alicia: Honey, ESPN knew about that.

Bob: Why didn’t you tell me????

Valentine’s Day Fic-a-thon!

In the spirit of @omgericzimmermann‘s Halloween fic-a-thon, I’ve put together the omg Check Please 14 Days of Love! 

To participate, first, the prompts:

  1. Feb 1st - Fooiinne (sin bin funds for romantic, cute stuff in front of the team)
  2. Feb 2nd - Rarepair Day (e.g. jack/shitty, bob/alicia, bitty/holster, kent/swoops, snowy/trainer, tango/whiskey, thirdy/carrie, lardo/camilla etc.)  
  3. Feb 3rd - Unintentional Confessions
  4. Feb 4th - Love Spells (gone wrong, gone right, gone too right, nothing happens, etc)
  5. Feb 5th - Soulmates (AU, dont believe in them, knowing who someone’s soulmate is + deciding whether to tell them or not, rejecting bonds, platonic bonds, etc)
  6. Feb 6th - Ruined Surprises
  7. Feb 7th - Friend/Team Love (friend dates, ace/aro, team outings/parties, etc)
  8. Feb 8th - Single and Bitter is better together (anti-valentine’s day, single awareness day, 
  9. Feb 9th - Aces/Falcs TV (or interviews)
  10. Feb 10th - Decoration Madness (too many balloons, glitter oh god not the glitter!, streamers everywhere, everything is red pink and heart-shaped, etc)
  11. Feb 11th - Social Media (shenanigans, mishaps, accidents, chirps, announcements, etc)
  12. Feb 12th - Ladies’ Day (e.g. the haus ghosts, lardo, camilla, march, april, georgia, alicia, suzanne, etc)
  13. Feb 13th - Bromance
  14. Feb 14th - Free for all! (anything you want as long as it’s valentine’s/love themed. drinking away the pain of a breakup? anniversary? engagement? someone finding out about a secret relationship? realizing you’ve been in a relationship when you thought you were just fwb? aro/ace people just watching everyone else freak out about being single? you do you! be creative, be cliche!)

Second, write the thing! (or draw or make a playlist or whatever your creative heart desires) There are no rules for writing besides doing the prompt for the specific day and relating it to Valentine’s Day/love (this can be romantic, sexual, platonic, familial love or even the ending of love, not having love, etc). You don’t have to do everyday. You could only do one day! Whatever you want.

Third, post the thing! On the prompts day, post it either here on tumblr or on the AO3 collection. Please tag it with omgcp 14 Days of Love and, on tumblr, tag me, @softkent in it (you can @ or tag, which ever).

The only real rule I have for this is no hate. I’m aware of all the discourse around certain characters and ships and things. If you don’t like it, just leave it be. 

Have any questions, feel free to send me an ask or message! Please reblog this to get the word around and go sign up for the collection if you’re planning on posting there. <3

sad kent parson time kiddies

tw: abuse, happy ending though dw


- kent can’t figure out how new friends and new hockey fixed up jack after The Incident 
- because new friends and new hockey didn’t help him
- jack can’t figure out why kent seems to still be struggling
- they bonded over being closeted and having, at the time, what they called shit fathers
- jack always talked about the pressure from bad bob
- kent never talked about why he didn’t like his own dad
- his dad abused him
- mainly rib and thigh punches
- places where they could be mistaken for hockey
- thats why kent liked hockey so much to begin with
- it helped him hide
- and, to him, it felt like it made him stronger
- nothing about his dad really ever surfaces now
- he plays hockey more for the joy it gives him and because he is good
- he doesn’t really understand that the second he is off the ice the feeling he is feeling is depression and anxiety and a little bit of ptsd 
- anyways, so as far as kent is concerned, he’s doing fine
- then they play the falconers 
- kent doesn’t want to be, but he is jealous of jack
- he thinks its more because of the bittle kid
- it doesn’t occur to him that he’s jealous because jack is happy
- so he’s already on edge all game
- then there’s a fight
- and suddenly a booming voice is calling him a rat
- and he’s flashed back to his dad breaking three of his ribs, calling him a useless rat
- and kent can’t breath
- he stays on the ice
- the falconers win
- the aces can tell something is up with their captain
- they think he’s just annoyed about the loss


under a cut cause this got long af

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SMH (and co) as Bob's Burgers characters

Jack - Bob “Oh my god.”
Bitty - Linda “Wine helps me drink.”
Shitty - Zeke “What a tangled ass web we weave.”
Lardo - Louise “I hope they’re using protection because I am not taking care of that baby.”
Ransom - Andy “My backpack is going to miss your backpack”
Holster - Ollie “Let’s rub our eyes together. You can get my pink eye.”
Dex - Darryl “Your technique’s sloppy and your stance is all wrong. What are you doing way back there? You have to press your wiener against the machine.”
Nursey - Jairo “Jairo only needs two hours of sleep a night because he regulates his heart.”
Chowder - Tina “I know how the shark thinks. It’s confused. It doesn’t know why we want to kill it. It just wants to go home.”
Kent - Mickey “Yeah. [Mickey’s] like the hard-working, grateful employee we never had. Wish he would wear underwear, though.”

9

omgcp + pokemon au

i have a document saved on my desktop titled “check please! pokemon teams” that’s pushing four pages long, so. please feel free to yell about this au with me so i can justify the ridiculous amount of time i’ve spent thinking about who would have which pokemon and why

(click for better quality!)

Ask the Blogger : omgcp style
  • Jack: What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Bitty: Whats your favourite food?
  • Shitty: What is your sexual orientation
  • Lardo: What are your preferred pronouns?
  • Ransom: Team Attic or Team Roaches?
  • Holster: How tall are you?
  • Chowder: What type of person are you?
  • Nursey: Whats your most embarassing memory?
  • Dex: When was the last time you got lost?
  • Tango: What question should one actually ask you?
  • Whiskey: Whats your stand on the lax bros?
  • Kent: What kind of trash are you/ Whats your eyecolour?
  • Tater: Would you fight kent?
  • Bad Bob: How proud are you of Jack?
  • Alicia: Who is your favourite omgcp character?
  • Georgia: Can we ask you for selfies?
  • Johnson: If you could ask ngozi one thing...what would it be?
  • ok but kent parson has definitely been calling bob “dad bob” since he met jack
  • it started as a joke and he really only kept it up because it annoyed jack so much but then bob caught wind of it and thought it was HILARIOUS so it just became what parse called him
  • and like he loses touch with the zimmermanns after the draft but old habits die hard, ya know?
  • so several years down the line kent decides to come out. he’s secure in his position as captain, he’s won the cup twice, and kit purrson has a ridiculous number of followers on instagram. he’s totally ready. 
  • what he’s NOT ready for is bob zimmermann making a very kind (and viral) statement of support in the immediate aftermath. he knows it’s probably directed as much at jack as it is at him but still. they haven’t really spoken in years and kent was never much more to bob than “jack’s best friend” so it’s surprisingly touching
  • so then he’s answering reporters’ questions one day, maybe at a press conference or something, and someone asks him about bob’s statement bc ofc they’re gonna talk about bob zimmermann
  • and kent says something like, “oh, it was really nice to get that kind of support from dad bob-”
  • and kent’s not jack, he understands how the media and the internet work - he knows in that moment he’s fucked
  • it goes viral. because of course it does. dad bob becomes a meme. pictures of bob and baby jack surface with DAD BOB plastered on them like its grumpy cat or something. jack is mortified. bob thinks it’s hilarious. bitty retweets ALL OF THEM. 
  • and kent feels a little bad about it - dad bob was his thing, just between him and the zimmermanns - but everyone thinks it’s cute and it’s taken off some of the media pressure of coming out so kent rolls with it
  • he dodges questions about it and doesn’t retweet or repost any of the memes he’s seen. but one day kit purrson’s followers wake up to a new post:
  • and kent has posted the infamous picture of bob holding jack over the stanley cup side-by-side with a picture of kent holding kit over his toilet or smth making the same ridiculous face. 
  • the caption is simply “LEARNED FROM THE BEST #DADBOB”
  • (it goes viral. of course.)
  • jack just texts him a string of grumpy face emojis. bitty actually calls him, but is laughing too hard to say anything. bob links the post to his facebook.
omg Cap and I were talking on twitter about trans kent

and Cap @tictacbergerac just wrote about KP in the most spectacular and beautiful light I have to share 

  • LORETHY 
  • DO U WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS KENT CONTENT
  • kent who has the oldest fucking rattiest binder int he world
  • ok it’s a piece of Fucking garbage but it’s like? almost a comfort object for him at this point?
  • but he doesnt evn Need it anymore bc he had top surgery the summer after he won the Stanley Cup 

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the smh marching band au you’ve been waiting for

Eric Bittle—former captain of his high school’s color guard, vlogger extraordinaire, and amateur pâtissier—is starting his freshman year participating in the prestigious Samwell University Wellie Marching Band. It’s nothing like his small underfunded band in the South. For one? They have the money to buy proper equipment–the stuff that Bitty has only dreamed about.

  • Bitty is flipping his shit internally because he knows that college marching band is a whole ‘nother level than high school and it’s not just any college band it’s Samwell, possibly one of the best college marching bands in the states
  • and when he shows up at Samwell that summer for band camp he meets:
  • Jack, a phenomenal trumpet player of legend, not to mention the band’s drum major
    • the son of Bad Bob Zimmerman, the greatest trumpet player in the history of Drum Corps International (basically pro marching band)
  • Shitty, the half naked, obscene, and open minded center snare and drum line captain 
  • Ransom (who is one of too many tuba players) and Holster (who one of the few mellophone players) are the gung ho bro brass captains 
    • they have section headbands and everything, brass players are very enthusiastic 
  • Nursey and Dex, are the woodwind captains who never stop bickering
    • it literally drives everyone nuts
    • the band places bets on how long it will be until they start up another argument 
  • Nursey went to Juliard  as a kid and is a literal clarinet god and owns like seven custom clarinets from France and Dex hates him everyday for it because he’s still beautifully *honking* away at his old middle school saxophone
    • which is not saying much because Dex is the best sax player Nursey’s ever met, and he studied at Julliard  for Christ’s sake. imagine what would happen if he ditched his old Yamaha??!? the world would bow to his feet
  • Lardo, the piccolo player and other drum major who keeps the whole band more organized and in control than Hall and Murray combined
  • and Chowder the sweet innocent flute player who has a vibrato strong enough to make even the manliest men cry

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anonymous asked:

prompt; okay so years in the future Kent and Jack are back together and Jack is with his dad while Kent is away or something and Jack finds out that Kent cut ties with Bob after Jack od-ed and cut Kent out of his life. Bob was like a father figure to Kent but he wanted to step away for Jack; basically just Jack realizing this and reuniting Bob and a reluctant Kent

i’m gonna answer all the prompts currently in my inbox as short ficlets, one a day until they’re done.

Jack winced apologetically at his parents as he dug his vibrating phone out of his pocket, in blatant disregard of the ‘no phones at the dinner table’ rule. In his defense, Alicia had been targeting that policy at Bob far more than Jack when she made it.

“Sorry, it’s -” he said, and ducked into the other room to answer it.

“Sorry to bother you, but I’m driving so I can’t text,” Kent said in a rush. “I got lost in the back and forth - are you flying in tonight or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” Jack said. “Plane lands at 1:15.”

“Got it,” Kent said. “Text me when you land and I’ll pick you up. I’ll let you go, I know you’re not allowed to talk on the phone during dinner. Tell Bob and Alicia hi for me, yeah? Love you, babes.”

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flickr

Smallhythe Place, Kent by Bob Radlinski
Via Flickr: