bob-de-niro

i watched Joy so you don’t have to

by god, david o russell has done it again. and by “done it again” i meant hes once again basically shouted “GIVE ME AN OSCAR” at you for 2 hours

the story opens with this title card, which is pretty hilarious bc as everyone knows, david o russell hates woman and is literally a sex offender

the v first scene is a flashback to when Joy was a little girl. shes playing make believe with her friend and her friend says “you need a prince!” and then Joy says “no, i DON’T need a prince.” finally a movie for us #feminists

then we cut to present day 1980s Joy. shes a divorced mother of three. this is pretty funny bc jennifer lawrence literally just got done playing a teenager in the hunger games. rmbr when she also played a mother and christian bale’s wife in american hustle? david o russell literally has no concept of women or time or women being over the age of 25

Joy is stressed out bc… well i dont rly know why. i guess bc her family is a pain in the ass. whose family isnt? whatever. shes so exhausted they dope her up with childrens tylenol so she’ll fall asleep. its dramatic and funny to see jennifer lawrence weakly clutch this teeny cup of baby medicine

david o russell did not stray away from expositional dialogue in this movie holy shit. im p sure his entire creative process during this was “why show whats happening, when i can TELL it”

literally we see Joy open a box and unload the mop stuff and then she says ”the shipment from california is here so we can start assembling!” …we literally just saw you open the box and take it all out but thank you for reiterating that that is whats happening rn

this happens again when Joy’s phone bill is overdue. i straight up had to watch this scene twice bc i was so confounded

Joy comes home and we clearly see the mail on the door. “phone service terminated.” got it

but then joy walks in and her annoying mom goes “the phone isnt working!” and joy says “i know, i just got the notice”

then her kid picks up the phone says “mommy why isnt the phone working?” and joy says “bc im late on paying the bill” yes thank you we undERSTAnd. also, why is a 5 year old suddenly trying to use the phone? who is she calling?

also Joy is a mother of three but we only ever see this little girl.

then Joy goes and meets bradley cooper, who gives the most lazy phoned in performance ive ever seen on film. i swear to god he stares into the camera for like 12 minutes and gives the history of qvc. who asked? not me

then Joy’s grandmother dies and its a really super dramatic scene bc the grandma was joy’s like, #1 supporter and encourager and has also been narrating this entire story. it’s supposed to be really sad but that doesnt stop Joy and her dad from straight up having a business meeting at the funeral

then shit hits the fan and isabella rossellini shakes her glass and yells “I NEED MORE VODKA!” then theres some more great dialogue and bob de niro says “we have to declare bankrupty” and isabella rossellini says “yes, i have to declare bankrupcy… to try to contain my losses… i have to write it off.” in case you didnt know was bankruptcy is DOR just gave you a quick lil lesson there

then joy cuts her hair off in the mirror bc that means shes taking charge. which is not true, bc i cut all my hair off in the mirror a couple months ago and my life is still a disaster, but i guess its symbolism or something, idk. im not a smart screenwriter like DOR is

it cuts to the future and theres this hilarious shot of bob de niro in older age makeup. he looks like a low rent colonel sanders or something

then we see Joy in the future all dolled up in her power suit. are you feeling the #feminism?

then it goes back to Joy with her short hair and bad ass aviators and leather jacket. literally idek what the climax of this movie was. she like, makes a couple calls and solves everything in 5 min, then walks off with her sunglasses on NCIS style

don’t watch this movie