“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity and her flaming self-respect and it’s these things I’d believe in even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn’t all that she should be. But of course the real reason is that I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”— F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Brooklyn Daily Eagle, New York, January 16, 1924 and April 21, 1924
You - dirty - fish - peddling - bums
leave - this - innocent - girl - alone - and - get - the - right - ones - which - is -nobody - else - but - us -
also - ask - Bohaks (sp) - manager - did - I - ruin - his - cash - register - also - will - visit - him - again - as - I - broke - a - pefectly (sp)- good - automatic - on - it
we - defy - you - fellows - to - catch - us
the bobbed - haired bandit and companion
20-years-old and pregnant, Celia Cooney (nee Roth, aliases Cecile Cherisa and Celia Sheehan, born on the east side in 1904), the Brooklyn Bobbed-Haired Bandit, and her husband Edward, 25, pulled off roughly a dozen successful robberies in early 1924, between January and their arrest on April 21st. The couple used the same method invariably, with Celia, usually sporting a sealskin coat over a beaded dress, coming in first and asking a question of the shop keeper, and Edward coming in shortly after with
a gun drawn in each hand. Victims of the pair claimed the woman was calm and collected while she pointed her baby automatic at them and told them to “stick ‘em up.” The couple would then rifle through the cash register and leave, taking only cash. Edward would borrow various vehicles from his work for getaway cars. Over 150 officers were called in to work the case, while the Mayor claimed that there was no such thing as a “bobbed haired bandit” - she was a figment of the media’s imagination. In March one of their drugstore robberies took place while a policeman’s ball was in full swing right across the street. At almost every scene Celia would drop another jeering note for the police, one read:
“I’ll kill you off one by one if you start out after me. So long boys; don’t forget you will hear from me during the week.”
And another read:
“I regret that I have not had the opportunity of giving you anything to do for the last few days. I have been taking a little vacation. However, I am now back on the job and you will hear from me regularly. I understand there is a new inspector assigned to Brooklyn. It doesn’t make any difference to me. Also I hear that the police have orders to shoot and kill me on sight. That’s all right but the police will not be the only ones to shoot.”
Celia’s landlady, who rented a room to the couple from April 1923 until September the same year, told papers Celia was “hard boiled”, a “wicked woman” and a “filthy tenant” who was “Bad, bad, bad!”. She claimed that Celia would “run around the house nearly naked and barefooted - go to the door that way - and such swearing I never heard in my life. She wasn’t a woman at all, at all - she was a she devil.”
Celia’s employer at a laundry said that she “was short and slender and dark complexioned. She was always prompt in getting to work and a good worker. She went out to lunch and noon and never chummed with any of the other girls, so far as I noticed. Finding out that she is the bobbed-haired bandit is some surprise to me - a knockout.”
Edward’s mother claimed that Edward, a welder for an auto repair shop by profession, would come to her house every morning for coffee before work and while there “We talked about the bobbed-haired bandit and he joked about her and said she was ‘pretty slick’.” Then one day Edward told his mother that he and Celia had to “go away for a time” but they’d be back to vindicate themselves.
Their final robbery, that of a Nabisco office that abutted the property where Edward’s mother lived, went awry when the money Edward expected to be out on a desk, where it usually was, was unexpectedly locked away. Edward had seen, through the back windows of his mother’s home, the money sitting out every week in large stacks on a desk when he stopped by his mother’s home before work. After ordering all the employees to line up against the wall, he and Cecilia turned to look for the cash and couldn’t find it. He lost his head when one of the employees tried to grab Celia’s gun and shot the man, Celia dropped a notebook and they fled without any money. This was the only time the couple ever physically hurt a victim.
Detectives claimed this was another major blunder: they committed this crime in the neighborhood in which they lived. Previous to this, all crimes had been in other jurisdictions.
The couple went on the lam, leading the police on a chase through 13 states before their capture by the detectives in Jacksonville, Florida after Edward sent a telegraph home to his mother, asking for money to bury the baby, a girl named Katherine who lived only 10 days. A short standoff ended when Celia promised the detectives she wouldn’t shoot if they wouldn’t. She claimed that Edward wanted to shoot her and himself rather than be taken into captivity but she told with a smile that “we couldn’t quit that way.” Both claimed that they were the one who had shot the clerk at Nabisco, and both claimed they were the mastermind behind the crimes. Thousands stood in Penn Street Station to finally catch a glimpse of the Bobbed-Haired Bandit.
The couple received sentences of 10 to 20 years, the maximum sentence, in and were released after 7 years, the minimum, in 1931. Celia told the judge that she didn’t want her baby to be born in squalor when she pleaded guilty. The state claimed the couple committed at least 15 crimes while the couple admitted to 10. Celia served her sentence at Auburn Prison and Edward at Sing Sing. While in jail Edward lost part of an arm when working a license plate printing machine and received a $12,000 settlement. During the suit against the State, where Celia testified on Edward’s behalf, the couple saw each other for the only time during their 7 year imprisonment. Celia’s brother Owen was shot while robbing a jewelry shop in 1927. After their release the couple had two sons, but Edward died of tuberculosis in 1936. As a single mother, Celia raised their sons in Queens and had to take welfare benefits, but for the rest of her life she stayed on the right side of the law. Celia passed away in Florida in 1992.
A few interesting sidenotes:
A lot of transgender ladies were brought in on suspicion that the bandit could not possibly be a “real” woman.
F Scott Fitzgerald claimed his wife Zelda was stopped and questioned one night by police who suspected she might be the bandit.
Some psychologists posited that Celia’s pregnant state may have been the driving force behind her robberies - because her hormones were out of whack.
In September 1924 a New York producer introduced a burlesque show called the Bobbed-Hair Bandits, which featured “18 of New York’s most beautiful girls” - what, if anything, this show had to do with bandits the notice didn’t really explain, although it claimed there were beautiful costumes!
@septemberfirst1989 asked for my unpopular bob’s burgers opinions and im both sick and a little turnt so im gonna do it.
Louigan is bad. Just bad. Smely. Not good. Bad ship.
Louise is bi but mostly likes girls. Shes aro but would still be in a relationship but it wouldnt be conventional.
Louise and rudy??? Grow up and are very good friends and he seems the type to marry and have kids and she’d be a cool aunt to them bc rudy has no siblings.
Can u tell i like louise a lot
Gene is panromantic ace-spec and when he grows up writing music and jingles and songs and whatnot he has a few kids with some guy or gal or person he loves and theyre sp happy and hes so good with kids bc he gets them and even as an adult he never loses that special magic and humor about him.
Gene and linda are both add and they kinda relate over it sometimes
None of the belchers are heterosexual sorry
My eye is twitching violently hang on
Tammy eventually works on herself and after a lot of development and ultimatums from friends she sorts her shit out.
Jocelyn is a lesbian and i love her i love my 80s valley girl lesbian daughter.
Zeke is like one of the best characters i love him
Tina and jj doesnt work well as a ship to me but id love to see them grow as friends and then maybe?? Something?
Jimmy jr is trans and jimmy almost cried when lil jimbert wanted to be called jimmy jr.
Gene is nonbinary or genderfluid
Bob and warren fitzgerald kinda tried bein boyfriends in high school but didnt want to ruin their friendship.
Bob is bi bi bi (bi bi)
Calvin is arospec pansexual and wpuld probably consider himself a demiguy or nb if he knew about that.
Felix spent his inheritance on sleek postmodern design and the best transitioning money could buy.
Cal was pretty active in the lgbtq+ scene in his younger days and always rly wanted to end up on broadway but life happened and also he got stabbed in the face when he was like 18.
Linda was punk a s f u c k when she was young and she aint let bob forget it.
The kids watch old movies with bob a lot and it influences some of their stories. Bob rly likes 70s and 80s stuff.
This isnt exactly unpopular opinions but whatever
Im belchoeder ot3 garbage but we already know that
Bob has hemophilia and highkey worries abt his kids bc theres a chance they may have it or carry it.
Bob is a spoonie he also has stomach issues and depression.
Linda had a miscarriage before she was pregnant with louise and it affected her a lot even tho she tried not to let on that it did.
Linda prolly had a gf or two at some point.
Teddy deserves all the kindness of this earth also teddy would be a really amazing stepdad.
Morts jewish dammit and hes bi with a preference for dudes and and and sometimes his work gets to him so the belchers leave him like a nice basket of things to cheer him up.
Bob is cute hes so damn cutw im so damn gay id marry that boy if i could hot damn
Wrev is so gay folks hes off the deep end here i go whoosh i go quietly into that gay night good night
#36: No shave November baby! I can hear tater be so excited about this to Jack...poor poor tater.
Listen, Nikolai (named after Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov) is the dog that Tater and Snowy have and is basically canon as far as I’m concerned, even if I only imagined him a day ago. Just a big doofus dog (part Great Pyrenees?) that loves everyone and thinks he is a lapdog. (Maybe he takes after Tater a little? Lol) ANYWAY, Poor Tater cannot grow facial hair to save his life. His moustache is just like, 12 scraggly hairs. The whole team drags him for it, but it’s all in good fun. Snowy swears in basically every sentence. I love bros and friendships so much. (Also some Zimbits and fluff at the end because of course.) Enjoy!
36. No shave November, baby!
“Oh, come on! Is not fair, man!” Tater groaned when he finally started to catch glimpses of his teammates with their helmets off. He had been gone for a rare four days during the season for a family event in Russia, and returned to find his team well into growing their Movember moustaches.
“Not bad, eh Tater?” Jack grinned and rubbed his fingers across his growing moustache. “Looks like you’ve got some catching up to do.”
“Zimmboni grows moustache so fast. Share your secrets.”
“I dunno, man. I used to have a lot of trouble with growing my facial hair when I was younger, but this year? It’s been quick. My best friend is loving it. He’s been bugging me about trying to grow one for over four years.”
“Your best friend – the little blond man, yes? Beetle?”
“Oh, uh, no. This is my other best friend – the guys all call him Shitty. He’s had a moustache since he was eighteen. And it’s Bittle, not Beetle.”
“Ah, Bittle. I thought maybe his nickname was after bug because he is so small.”
Jack chuckled and briefly considered explaining that his real nickname was ‘Bitty’ which could mean small, but decided against it. He did not mind sharing the nickname with their old Samwell team, but Jack liked being the only person in Providence who knew Bitty. “He might not appreciate that much.”
Tater ran a towel through his damp hair and sat down in his locker room stall. “So, Zimmboni–” he began. “Always with so many friends. So many best friends.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Jack grinned. It felt strange to realize that he was a person with such a large group of friends. Genuine friends. Ten years ago he barely had any friends – he had not even met Kent yet back then.
“It’s okay, as long as I’m your best friend on team. Right?”
“Good. Zimmboni is my best friend on team too. Outside of team? Probably Snowy.”