boats&hoes

lemme smash
  • The Lady: This is a nice stick. I like sticks.
  • The Lady: Peck. Peck.
  • [The Janitor bursts into the room]
  • The Janitor: lemme smash
  • The Janitor: please
  • The Lady: No, Janitor. Go find Bellhop.
  • The Janitor: You want sum fuk?
  • The Lady: No, Janitor, I don't want some fuk.
  • The Janitor [holds up Seven]: I got you blue.
  • The Janitor: Hey, gurl. You want some arms?
  • The Janitor: twitch
  • The Lady: ugh...
  • The Lady: Janitor, your arms are small.
  • The Janitor: Wot?
  • The Janitor: swiggity swooty?
  • The Janitor [holding up Six]: You want yellow?
  • The Janitor [dropping Six]: She doesn't want yellow...
  • The Janitor [holding both Six and Seven]: Blue AND yellow?
  • The Janitor [drops them both]: No..
  • The Lady [picking up Seven and Six]: Janitor. I'm leaving.
  • The Janitor: Wot?
  • The Janitor: NO! WAIT! LEMME SMASH
  • The Janitor: What has my life come to? Bellhop thought my arms were big. Bellhop used to lemme smash. But Bellhop is smashin his boat. Boat is hoe.
  • The Janitor: Fuck this door! Fuck boat! I NEED YOU BELLHOP! BELLHOP LEMME SMASH! Ima get that bitch a stick! Bitches love sticks!
  • The Janitor: wrong stick
  • The Janitor: stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick stick
  • The Janitor: Need stick
  • The Janitor: Found stick
  • The Janitor: BELLHOP LEMME SMASH
The Last Master List

The requests are done and we are gone! Thank you to everyone who has requested and read these. Love you all. XX

Master List

Preferences

#1: Matching…

#2: He makes you Breakfast (YouTube inspired)…

#3: You Meet Him (Funny/Rebel)…

#4: Shirt You Buy Him…

#5: What you Word Vomit When Meet Him (Funny/Melissa)…

#6: Key Covers he Buys You…

#7: Key Covers you Buy Him…

#8: Bandages you Bought Specifically for Him…

#9: You do Something Embarrassing that He Finds Cute…

#10: Nail Art he Likes on You…

#11: At Home Date…

#12: The Other Boy(s) Think You Should Date…

#13: He brings you as His Plus One to a Wedding…

#14: He Tweets a Picture of You…

#15: Shoes he buys you…     

#16: Phone Cover you Buy Him…   

#17: Phone Cover he Buys You…

#18: You Give him the Silent Treatment…

#19: Easter Dress/Meet the Parents…

#20: Easter/Spring Treats…

#21: April Fools’…

#22: You Dance and he Reacts…

#23: Wedding Dress…

#24: He Tweets a Picture of you with his Fans…

#25: You have an Affair with Him (Requested)…

#26: You have an Affair with Him Part 2 (Requested) - His POV…

#27: He Tweets a Picture of you and your Friend(s)…

#28: Long Distance Relationship…

#29: Movie Night…

#30: He Tweets a Picture of You with his Sibling(s)…

#31: You find out/ know you can’t have kids together…

#32: You try to Seduce Him (Funny/Kristen)…

#33: He Tweets a picture of You and Your Brother…

#34: He Tweets a picture of You and Your Sister…

#35: He has Fun with your Beauty Supplies…

#36: Sports (Not your Average Preference)…

#37: You are his Celebrity Crush, You Model You (Requested)…

#38: He Finds your Tumblr…

#39: Camping…

#40: At least out loud I won’t say I’m in Love…

#41: No way, No how I won’t say it no no (His P.O.V.)…

#42: 6th Member Interview (Requested)…

#43: He Picks a Tattoo for You…

#44: The Breakup…

#45: He Tries to Cheer You Up (Funny/Jake)…

#46: The Break Up Part 2/ The Make Up (Requested) – His P.O.V…

#47: You Tweet a Picture of Bachelorette Party Shirts…

#48: Friendlier than Friends…

#49: How you Handle the Paparazzi…

#50: Breakup Gif…

#51: Sister’s Boyfriend, but Protective of You (Requested)…

#52: Your Daughter Gets her Period and You’re not Home- His POV (Requested)…

#53: Just Like Daddy…

#54: 6th Member More than Band Mates…

#55: Maternity Shirt…

#56: He Retweets Your MOH’s Picture about the Bachelorette Party…

#57: Lazy Day Shirt…

#58: Necklace he Buys You…

#59: Family Costume Party…

#60: He Tweets a Trick or Treating Picture with your Baby…

#61: Ticklish…

#62: He Convinces you to get a Small Hand Tattoo…

#63: Snowed In…

#64: Faking It With Friends (Requested)…

#65: Frenemies at the High School Reunion (Requested)…

#66: Breaking Walls (Requested)…

#67: That One Thing at Your Wedding…

#68: He has Cancer (Requested)…

#69: Valentine’s Day…

#70: He’s not Feeling Well (Requested)…

#71: Wedding Dress Shopping (Requested)…

#72: Mugged (Requested)…

#73: Just Because I’m Mad Doesn’t Mean I Stop Caring (Requested)…

#74: Masquerade (Requested)…

#75: Hospital (Requested)…

#76: Bus Breaks Down (Requested)…

#77: Cupcakes you Make Together…

#78: Boats ‘N Hoes (Requested)…

#79: You Try to Change for Him (Requested)…

#80: Just Because I’m Mad Doesn’t Mean I Stop Caring Part 2 (Requested) - His POV…

#81: How he Sleeps (Requested)…

#82: First Dance (Requested)…

#83: He Misses the Birth (Requested)…

#84: He Misses the Birth Part 2 (Requested) – His POV…

#85: 6th Member He Sticks Up for You…

#86: Fighting Feelings (Requested)…

#87: Twin Onesies…

#88: Fighting Feelings Part Two-His POV (Requested)…

#89: 6th Member Secret Love…

#90: He Tweets a Picture of You’re Creation…

#91: Your Relationship Summed Up in Gifs…

#92: Giving Yourself to Him  (Requested)…

#93: 6th Member Suspicious Twitter Conversation (Requested)…

#94: Bridesmaids’ Gifts…

#95: His Parents Walk in On You (Requested)…

#96: Pets (Requested)…

#97: Bachelor/Stag Party Tweets (Requested)…

#98: Pretty Hurts (Requested)…

#99: Too Big for Him (Requested)…

#100: All About That Bass (Requested)-His POV…

#101: Youtube Famous (Requested)…

#102: Erectile Dysfunction (Requested) …

#103: He Pranks You (Requested)…

#104: He’s Sick at your Parents House (Requested)…

#105: He Needs You (Requested)…

#106: Twitcam (Requested)…

#107: First Home Together (Requested)…

#108: Family Vacation (Requested)…

#109: Someone Tries to Break You Up (Requested)…

#110: Baby Drama (Requested)…

#111: Lose the Baby (Requested)…

#112: Saying Goodbye for Tour (Requested)…

#113: Stay (Requested)…

#114: Sister with a Physical Disability (Requested)…

#115: Emergency at a concert (Requested)…

#116: Godparents (Requested)…

#117: Sick Kid (Requested)…

#118: Secret Talent (Requested)…

#119: 6th Member You’re Depressed and He Tries to Help You After a Hard Day (Requested)…

#120: You’re Pregnant and He Needs a Break (Requested)…

#121: Going to Another Boy’s Wedding (Requested)…

#122: Know one meet the Rest (Requested)…

#123: The Dollar (Requested)…

Imagines

Niall Imagine (Bianca): He Embarrasses you In Front of Friends…

Harry Imagine (Marissa): Birthday Surprise…

Harry Imagine (Carissa): You meet at a Signing…

Harry Imagine (Sam): Breaking Point…

Harry Imagine (Sam): Breaking Point Part 2…

Harry Imagine (Sam): Breaking Point Part 3…

Niall Imagine (Bre): Misunderstood…

One Direction Imagine/Preference (Kaylynn, Laura, Leah, Maya, and Molly): Wipeout…   

Niall Imagine (Hannah): Single Rider…

Niall Imagine (Gia): Meet the Horans…

Niall Imagine (y/n): Starbucks Sweethearts…

One Direction Imagine/Preference (Madison): The Bachelorette…

Harry imagine (Li): BUSted…

Niall Imagine (y/n): Falling Hard…

Harry Imagine (Alexa): Our Little Secret…

Niall Imagine (Andi): Just a Number…

Niall Imagine (Ava): I Pick You…

Louis Imagine (Brittany): My Life, My Voice, My Reason to Be …

One Direction Imagine/Preference (Kee, Ogo, Eden, Haley, Soumaya): Disaster Date…

Louis Imagine (Cathleen): Love Hate Relationship…

Harry Imagine (Anny): All Your Little Things…

Harry Imagine (Gabby): A Masquerade…

Louis Imagine (AJ): Opposites Attract…

Louis Imagine (Danielle): Staged…

Harry Imagine (Destany): I Do(n’t)…

Harry Imagine (Tannyr): You’ll be Saving Mine (His POV)…

Harry Imagine (Abbi): The Dressing Room Dilemma..,

Liam Imagine (Casey): Compatibility Game…

Zayn Imagine (Nishat): Wedding Romance…

Harry Imagine (Abbi): Take your Newborn to school…

Harry Imagine (Y/N): LAFS Radio/Love at First Sight Radio…

Harry Imagine (Y/N): Meet the Styles…

Harry Imagine (Destany): Good Morning Beautiful…

Harry Imagine (Corrinne): Sugar Daddy…

Niall Imagine (Hannah): He Spoils You…

Zayn Imagine (Vinhya): Love is Blind…

Harry Imagine (Ashley): Daughter is 16 and Pregnant…

Zayn Imagine (Von): Masquerade…

Liam Imagine (Tia): The New Girl in Town…

Harry Imagine (Jennifer): Surprises…

Louis Imagine (Shana): Rude…

Niall Imagine (Kat): Baby Girl…

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@mdollas11: 😂😂😂 #Boats&Hoes