Not Blood

S/O: Why is the floor all red and sticky?
Yandere: I guess you can say it is red and sticky
S/O: What are we standing in
Yandere: Would you believe me if I said it was Strawberry milkshake?
S/O: No I wouldn’t actually
Yandere: Um melted gumdrops?
S/O: No.
Yandere: Boat Nectar?
S/O: No.
Yandere: Oh I got it! Some of God’s tears?
S/O: Just tell me the truth!
Yandere: Fine….it was those two guys who were staring at you on the subway
S/O: wHAT?!

Sometimes I like to think of Hannibal post season 3 as llamas with hats
  • Will: Hannibal there is a dead man in our house!
  • Hannibal: oh! How did he get there?
  • Will: Hannibal what did you do?
  • Hannibal: I have never seen him before in my life.
  • Will: why did you kill this person?
  • Hannibal: I do not kill people. That is - that is my least favourite thing to do.
  • Will: tell me, Hannibal, exactly what you were doing before I came home.
  • Hannibal: well I was upstairs, I was sitting in my room and this man walked in so I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.
  • Will: ... why are his hands missing?
  • Hannibal: well I cooked them up and ate them.
  • Will: why is the floor red and sticky... Hannibal what are we standing in?
  • Hannibal: would you believe me if o said strawberry milkshake?
  • Will: no!
  • Hannibal: melted gumdrops? Boat nectar? Some of gods tears?
  • Will: Hannibal tell me the truth!
  • Hannibal: well it's the lovely elderly couple from 2b.
  • Will: Hannibal!
  • Hannibal: they were taking all the croissants.
  • Will: Hannibal!
  • Hannibal: I will not apologize for art.
  • Will: Hannibal!
  • Hannibal: happy birthday!
  • Will: I'm leaving I've had enough of this...
  • Hannibal: but think of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now.
  • Will: what? Why?
  • Hannibal: because we're friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well cooked face together.
  • Will: why would you think any of this was a good idea?
  • Hannibal: probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
  • Will: oh.
  • Hannibal: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.
  • Kazuaki: Uhh, doctor? Why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?
  • Shuu: Wow, I guess you could say it’s red and sticky!
  • Kazuaki: Doctor, what are we standing in?
  • Shuu: Would you believe it’s… strawberry milkshake?
  • Kazuaki: No I would not believe that.
  • Shuu: Melted gumdrops?
  • Kazuaki: No.
  • Shuu: Boat nectar?
  • Kazuaki: No.
  • Shuu: Some of God’s tears?
  • Kazuaki: Tell me the truth, doctor.
  • Shuu: Fine… it’s the lovely elderly couple from 2B.
  • Kazuaki: DOCTOR!
  • Shuu: They were taking all the croissant rolls.
  • Kazuaki: I can’t believe what I’m hearing!
  • Shuu: I will not apologise for art.


Security Guards With Hats 2

“Mike! What on earth was all that?”

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

“You sunk an entire cruise ship, Mike!”

“Are you sure that was me? I, I would think I’d remember something like that.”

“Mike, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain’s face!”

“That sounds dangerous.”

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