boat trip

The Red Sponge: Spongebob’s Role in Enforcing an Oppressive, Capitalistic Society

Every millennial who grew up watching “Spongebob Squarepants” has come to the same horrifying conclusion: you have turned into Squidward. No matter how buoyant, how cheerful, how optimistic you were as a child, there comes a point where you begin to identify with Squidward more than any other character in the show.

You could explain this phenomenon with the disillusionment and cynicism of growing up, or the burdens of being a teenager in a post-John Hughes society. There is, however, an even simpler answer. Spongebob is an allegory for Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. The show revolves around Spongebob, the hardworking proletariat, accepting a low-level fry cook job and enduring Mr. Krabs’ exploitation with a grin on his face.

The face of compliance

It’s not hard to draw the parallels between Mr. Krabs and the bourgeoisie. He’s a cheapskate who underpays and overworks his employees for his own personal gain. Mr. Krabs famously ripped off his own arms (claws?) to retrieve a dime that fell down the drain. He took his workers on a boating trip to retrieve his millionth dollar from the jaws of a giant clam. He has zero regard for his employees’ safety and almost routinely puts them in danger for his own benefit.  Mr. Krabs’ daughter, Pearl is an extension of the bourgeoisie archetype. She’s vain, self-centered, and largely unaware of others’ misfortune. She lives in a bubble, obsessed with clothes, makeup, and celebrities — because she has the leisure for such frivolities.

Remember when Pearl gentrified The Krusty Krab

Speaking of living in a bubble, Sandy is not exempt from analysis. Sandy is quite literally shielded away from the rest of the world. She represents the intellectual elite, using her privilege and higher education to jeopardize working class jobs and further the industrial revolution. Her endeavors into space mirror the Cold War-era “Space Race,” capitalism versus communism. Her voyage ends on the moon, just like the U.S.’s did. On top of her scientific record, Sandy is independent and self-sufficient, exemplifying capitalistic ideals of individualism.

If Sandy is the intellectual elite, then Patrick Star is just the opposite. Patrick represents the bourgeois caricature of the working class that capitalists want you to buy into. He is ignorant, undereducated, and lazy. He lives under a rock, likely because he can’t afford anything else — although he doesn’t seem to mind. Patrick appears to deserve his poverty because he does nothing but sleep, yet he also seems at peace with his lot. This idea of the happy, unproductive bum simultaneously vilifies and justifies the proletariat. “See, they’re poor because they just don’t work hard enough! In fact, they like being poor!” Patrick Star is arguably one of the most offensive cartoon depictions of this generation.

Blatant vilification of blue-collar workers

Spongebob, on the other hand, represents the ideal proletariat. Spongebob is hardworking, humble, and endlessly optimistic. He’s a lot like us before we realized the inherent evils of a capitalistic society. Day in and day out, Spongebob gleefully works a minimum-wage job flipping burgers with no hope of promotion. He’s a cog in Mr. Krabs’ greasy machine, but he doesn’t even realize it. He just continues to skip to work every day, chanting “I’m ready!”. Ready for what, Spongebob? Ready for the bourgeoisie Kool-aid he’s been absorbing through his poriferous sponge body.

Spongebob is the ideal worker, and as children, we aspired to be just like him. The very first episode of Spongebob showed him getting his first job as fry cook. According to the show, the very best achievement you could receive is being gainfully employed. Not only employed, but tirelessly productive and efficient to maximize your manager’s profits. Spongebob famously served busloads of anchovies at a never-before-seen pace. It wasn’t enough that Spongebob could perform his job well; he had to go above and beyond his duty in order to seem valuable. These are the principles we instilled in the youth of today. What went wrong?

Back, finally, to Squidward. Squidward isn’t like Spongebob or Patrick. He isn’t satisfied in his low-level employment. What Squidward seeks is artistic satisfaction and world renown. He covets the success of his employer without achieving the work ethic necessary for someone of his class to ascend. Squidward has realized that the cards have been stacked against him at every turn, and resigns himself bitterly to the clutches of capitalism. If Squidward were less jaded, he could be the catalyst to prompt full-scale class warfare, perhaps ending in a communist utopia. Unfortunately, Squidward’s defeatist personality and egoism prevents him from implementing social change.

Mfw I realized I will never dismantle oppressive power structures that infiltrate our economic landscape

That is why we are all Squidward. We’ve uncovered the limits of capitalism and realized that hard work may not always pay off. We’ve begun to notice the oppressive economic and social structure that infiltrates our everyday life. We yearn for something higher, but feel that change is out of our reach. We become bitter, combative, self-deprecative, and cynical. There’s a reason Squidward is the unhappiest character on “Spongebob.” Not only for faults of his own, but for his own rotten luck. The show subliminally punishes Squidward for his views, hoping to prod viewers back towards Spongebob’s blithe, unfounded optimism.

Their efforts were to no avail. Millions of millennials are finding themselves disillusioned, realizing all along that Squidward was the reasonable one. He had a right to protest Mr. Krabs’ vile working conditions, and his sarcasm was merely a coping mechanism for the injustices placed against him. Squidward is the dissatisfied proletariat, and we identify with him more than ever. The difference is, we have the energy and collective power to succeed where he could not. Together, we can rise up and defeat the bourgeoisie, establishing an egalitarian society that does not prey on the lower classes. In the words of Spongebob, “I’m ready.” Are you?


Gudvangen - Norway - Viking boat by Nicolas Erny

anonymous asked:

can I has logic and anxiety on a boat trip? plsplspls!

Omfg yes!
I’m sorry that it’s so short though Q//Q

Ship: Analogical


„And you took me here, because…?“

Virgil sat in the boat, hood pulled over his head because ugh the sun was too bright.

Logan didn’t answer for a moment, before letting out a sigh.

„Because I thought it would be a great idea. A chance for you to calm down and…relax. There has been a lot going on lately.“

A snorting sound came from Virgil, followed by a sarcastic chuckle.
„Yeah, right. Me and relaxing. Your logic fails you, Mister. I’m anxiety, did you forget that already? I literally never relax. And when I do, I don’t. Also do you know how d-“

„dangerous it is? Yes, I’m aware of the risks. That should not be a reason for me not to do this.“

It got quiet, Virgil obviously still not liking the idea. The thought of sitting in that boat which could easily  cause them troubles. Kill them, even.

Logan pulled his shoulder up, lowering his eyelids and looking away.

„I assume, I should think of better ideas for our dates from now on. I should ask Roman or Patton for ideas, maybe they got an idea what could make you happy.“

Virgils cheeks flushed, feeling hot from the blood rushing through them. He didn’t say anything, he was just…staring. Staring at the guy in front of him, admitting that he thought of this as a date. A date. With Virgil.

Virgil, on a date. With Logan.

A little smile ran over Virgils lips, peeking away and still blushing, the hood still covering half of his face.

„You know what?“, he whispered, peeking at Logan for a moment,“I actually dig this date. It’s great.“

Shifting closer to each other, their fingers touched lightly, gently brushing against each other.

Blessed are the Poor!

D&D 5e

Context: We took 8 sessions (32 irl hours) to deliver a mysterious box to a far away mages guild. Finally, on the last session, 5 out of 6 of the party go to claim the reward, whilst the 6th member (Neutral Good Cleric, who joined the party late and so wasn’t officially on the delivery quest) stays on the boat to help the NPC survivors of our journey, sacrificing his share of the reward in order to help.

*In the Guild*

Guild Member: Thank you for this. We have been waiting an awfully long time for these components.

Rogue: Yes, it was a hard journey. We were told there was a reward?

Guild Member: A substantial one! 60,000 gold pieces will be transferred to your assigned guild bag

Mech Construct and Barbarian (simultaneously): Our WHAT!?

Guild Member: You should have received one at the start of your quest?

Barbarian: We didn’t get a bag!!!

DM: Guys…you remember that bag that you looted off your teammates corpse a few sessions back?

All players begin to remember

DM: Yes, that one. The bag that you…kind of……left on the ship?


Cleric, On the Ship (OOC): I ROLL FOR PERCEPTION!!! *Rolls Mod 20*

DM (laughing): As you pass one of the rooms, you hear a loud thunk and a scattering sound. When you enter, the floor is littered with gold and a strange bag in the corner is filled to the brim



(After 10 minutes, the 5 at the guild rolled initiative and started a ‘Rat Race’-style mad dash to the boat, tripping each other up along the way, trying to be the first one to get the 60,000 gold off of the Cleric) 

PJO + MC shenanigans
  • Percy taking Magnus on a boat trip/into the ocean and Ran being Angry but also Conflicted.
  • Sam carrying Percy in the air for some reason and Zeus being Angry but Conflicted.
  • Annabeth and Hearthstone very fastly and animatedly using ASL to talk about Rune Magic.
  • Annabeth translating for Hazel so they can all talk about magic.
  • Piper and Hazel modeling some of Blizt’s clothes for his business.
  • Alex meeting Will and is convinced that him and Magnus are the same person.
  • Alex and Frank having shapeshifting contests while Hazel and Magnus watch.
  • Percy and Magnus having a lot of sassy-comebacks to eachother.
  • Percy showing off Riptide and Magnus listening politely before BAM Jack the Talking Sword makes an appearance and Percy gets really jealous.
  • Percy swordfighting Jack for shits and giggles and Jack having a major crush on Riptide. #jacktide
  • Annabeth winking at Magnus whenever Alex does something cute.
  • Blackjack happens to stop by and he loves Magnus.
  • Otis shows up and tells his story and Leo says “Cool!” before promptly lighting him on fire.
  • Nico is very confused as to how Magnus is dead but also alive, and Magnus feeling the need to constantly hug and comfort Nico for all the darkness inside of him.
  • Alex and Nico bonding about their cute but shitty-fighter boyfriends and their shitty dads and kick-ass sisters.
  • Magnus and Will “fighting” each other to entertain their significant others.
  • Just Nico and Alex being good pals in general.
  • Piper using her Hollywood influences to boost Blizten’s business.
  • Jason and Sam having flying contests.
  • Leo and Blitzen making fashionable offesnive battle armor for Festus.
  • Nico glancing at Hearth ocasionally and feeling secretly glad he’s not the palest one there.
  • Nico not speaking ASL but still nodding to Hearth occasionally, respecting what the others translate him saying, and just the two of them mutually respecting each other for their past misery.
  • Magnus trying to seem more intimidating when he first meets Percy because he’s protective of Annabeth and Percy just pushing him over with a small shove.
  • Frank helping Hearth out with Archery.
  • Both groups constantly going back and forth with “Well one time in Valhalla” and “One time at Camp” to try and out-ridiculous each other.
  • Magnus meeting Sally and her reminding him SO much of his mom that he calls her a lot just to talk to her and they’re Great Pals.
  • Reyna and Alex hating each other. Like, a lot.
  • Sam and Reyna having a mutual respect for eachother.
  • Magnus is terrified of Thalia Grace. Alex thinks she’s really cool.
  • Rachel and Mallory bonding over being kickass red-heads.
  • Annabeth fangirling over TJ and asking him all sorts of historical questions.
  • Magnus talking about Valhalla’s to-the-death-matches and Reyna silenty wishing she could go because she would destroy. them. all.