Roots spread under the mud Drags the steel sprawl out towards the sea Pile these cold souls so tight they’ll hardly breathe Flames will walk the earth Let them roam They don’t need what can spend so easily Make this wretched mass work for their gloom Flames will walk the earth And nothing will change Pack ourselves so tight we can’t breathe On their grief We cast our roots deep The grid extends its reach Things don’t look good As we feel the ground wake Nothing will change Flames will walk the earth And nothing will change
Anonymous asked: How can I write more elaborate dialogue? Currently I feel what I am writing is too weak - a few lines with lots of “she said” and minor mannerisms. But how to make a talk scene gripping and immersive? (Thank you in advance!)
First of all, make sure that the dialogue serves a purpose. It should move the story forward by revealing information, back story, character plans or speculation, character development, or develop the setting.
Make sure that your characters are more than “talking heads.” What that means is that their whole bodies should be involved in the conversation through gestures, body language, and interacting with the scenery and other characters. Example:
“Is the abandoned house boarded up?” asked Jill.
“I don’t know,” said Fred, “I’ll check when I’m out there next Tuesday.”
Jill thumbed through the box of old photos. “Is the abandoned house still boarded up?” she asked, stopping to pull out a torn photo of a woman leaning against a Model T.
“I don’t know,” Fred said with a shrug. “I’ll check when I’m out there next Tuesday.” He pulled out his cell phone to set up a reminder, then leaned in over Jill’s shoulder to see what she was looking at.
“Nice, Model T,” he said, patting Jill on the shoulder, and they smiled at each other, each with a gleam in their eyes. If the abandoned house has been boarded up for a hundred years, who knows what they might find inside?
The second version is more interesting because it tells us more about the scene, more about the characters, and more about what’s going on. They’re not just “talking heads,” they are actual physical bodies engaged with their environment.
So you didn’t mean to fall asleep, you’d only meant to scope out the upstairs in this boarded-up house, but one of the rooms had had a bed, a real legit bed, and you’d just lain down for a minute or two to quiet your head cause it’d been a shit few days – next to no money and long days spent driving, all of you tired and slightly on edge. Three days earlier Dean had stitched up a gash on your arm, had shared enough of the whiskey to get slightly drunk and had kissed you. That part was good, that part wasn’t the problem. But Sam had got back inconveniently early and then you’d had to blow town in a hurry, three days of driving, catching glances sometimes in the rearview mirror but nothing spoken or said, not even time to try, all sleeping together cramped and uncomfortable in the Impala by the side of the road. Now you’d found this house, were going to squat here till the next credit cards showed up. Hopefully.
The Northern part of Summit County in Ohio is known by the eerily blunt moniker, Helltown. In the 70’s, Boston Township was the site of a government buyout, and subsequent mass eviction of citizens. The houses were intended to be torn down and the land used for a national park, but the plans never quite manifested. Legends spawned wildly, and who can blame the legend mongers? Driving through the dark, wooded landscape was enough to give you chills even when it was populated, let alone when you have to drive by boarded up houses standing next to the burnt out hulks of others (the local fire department used some buildings for practice).
Whether based on a kernel of truth or cooked up in the heads of creative visitors, the persistent legends of Helltown add to the creep factor. The steep Stanford Road drop off, immediately followed by a dead end, is aptly named The End of the World. If you get stuck at this dead end for too long, according to ghost story enthusiasts, you may meet your end at the hands of many members of the endless parade of freaks patrolling the woods. Satanists, Ku Klux Klan members, an escaped mental patient, an abnormally large snake, and mutants caused by an alleged chemical spill proudly march in this parade. And if you stray from the roads, you may find Boston Cemetery, home to a ghostly man, grave robbers and, the quirkiest of all, a moving tree.