board meetings

So I learned my new favorite history fact in my AP US class today. It’s hilarious and goes a bit like this

In 1989, President Bush sent troops to Panama to capture the dictator and drug lord, Manuel Noriega. But Noriega had fled to (I had to look up the full name) the Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See. The troops couldn’t exactly get in, so they surrounded the place and has to wait him out, or somehow force him out.
And it’s crazy how they did it.
The literal United States Navy SEALs did this
And it is real history

They blasted rock and roll music for days until he gave up

Apparently, Noriega only liked opera, so this annoyed him.
But it gets better.
The playlist was not only obnoxiously loud and obnoxiously American, it had a sense of irony.
Here are some highlights:

Danger Zone
Freedom Fighter
Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down
Give It Up
I Fought the Law and the Law Won
If I Had a Rocket Launcher
Nowhere to Run
Panama
Paranoid
Prisoner of Rock and Roll
Rock and a Hard Place
Stay Hungry
They’re Coming to Take Me Away
This Means War
Wanted Dead or Alive

And my personal favorite, and a thing that actually happened:
Never Gonna Give You Up

I just…
Imagine the board meeting
“Huh, how are we going to force this guy out of hiding?”
“Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t we blast loud rock music?”
“That just might work! And we should do it with a sense of irony, just to make it funnier!”

  • tony: *gets notification in the middle of a serious board meeting* sorry I have to go
  • board member: where mr.stark?
  • tony: to help my wayward son who I adopted unknowingly and to ground him beCAUSE I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO STUFF THAT I WOULD
  • *flies off in armour*
  • board members: uh.....
  • this came from the fact that tony was wearing a goddamn three piece suit instead of his under armour

anonymous asked:

Batfamily's most embarrassing moments??

Bruce: fell asleep in a discussion at a board meeting then woke up after he accidentally dumped his hot coffee on the CEO of another company

Dick: had an entire conversation with his bowl of cereal in a baby voice without realising that the rest of the family was in the room with him

Jason: got drunk and vented all of his feelings about his family and everything to his siblings and then the next day got really embarrassed when they told him how mushy he got

Tim: tried to be smooth by leaning on a table at a Gala, accidentally tipped the table and spilled all of the food on it on himself and everyone around him… and it was caught on tape

Damian: on patrol once he got his ankle caught in his grappling line and tripped off a building in front of everyone

Cass: she’s a perfect beam of light and never messes up in the presence of other people

Steph: accidentally texted Bruce “love you babe” instead of to Tim back when they were still dating. Neither she nor Bruce acknowledged each other for a week afterwords

Duke: on his first night as Robin he accidentally punched Bruce in the face after he emerged from the shadows right behind Duke without warning

If you could buy love which one do you think would have the highest sales?
Would it be the family, friend or the romantic kind you would pick? 

I can think of proposing a new product range to the company which would really do the trick for our sales - self love.

But no one would buy it until they would buy the rest and realize none really help unless they love themselves.

So the sales would be highest for self love after being lowest for a really long time but that’s okay, it’s never too late to earn huge profits.

I wonder what the marketing team will come up with? There are so many ways to promote this.

We must make our product very well, for this is an important issue, this is how we give back to the society, this how we build our goodwill. 

But we can’t give a 100% effective product for once they love themselves completely they would have had enough of us.

We can’t afford to do something that silly! So let’s make it just a little bit faulty, let’s make it an addiction, let’s make it a need.
Let’s make it something that is only store bought, let’s put on it our trademark.

There will be some ass holes who will realize the real source of all love and they might be able to hinder our progress.

They will write about how it’s just the heart and the soul and then our products will go to hell.

But if we shut them up quickly, if we give them just enough money, we can continue selling and soon improve our margin by 30% at least. 

As we all in this board room know, there are more who are willing to believe love is something that can be bought rather than something that is self taught. 

If you guys need even more proof that Lena is whipped, take it from a business major who learns daily about the life of a CEO. 

CEOs of any company, but especially a large one like L-Corp are extremely busy. We (or at least I) assume that L-Corp most likely operates in the tech industry, maybe manufacturing too, but don’t know for sure. But the tech industry is highly competitive and fast paced. The time of a CEO is extremely valuable to a company. 

Lena is the type of person who takes her job seriously. She is dedicated to rebranding and repositioning L-Corp, separating it from the evil of Luthor Corp. Hence most of her time is going to be spent strategizing how to do that. She doesn’t focus on small details like hiring and firing of employees (unless it’s like C-suite levels executives or other high ranking people), budgeting, marketing strategies, financial plans, etc. She will most likely delegate that to the CMO, CFO, COO, etc. She’s going to be making business deals, hence all of her meetings, listening to business pitches from R&D as well as other executives, attending board meetings to learn about the state of the company, etc. I was in my business to business marketing class last night and my professor was basically like “The CEO of a company got where they are because they know how to manage their time effectively, they time slice. If you’re pitching an idea to your CEO, you’ll have 10-15 minutes max. Maybe an hour if you’re good. That’s it.” Lena’s time is extremely valuable. 

The fact that she takes time out of her day to meet with Kara on social visits, takes time out of her day (most likely at least an hour or two) to meet Kara at CatCo to go out to lunch at some new Kombucha place, randomly drops by Kara’s apartment and her place of work to ask for a favor that she could have either called or asked Jess to contact Kara for her, spends her evenings when she could be working on her company, trying to help Kara find a bunch of missing aliens and her own mother is a testament of how much she actually cares for Kara. Even in just a platonic sort of way. In fact, I think it’s much more compelling if it is platonic. 

Also consider that when Kara forgot about their lunch outing, she wasn’t angry or annoyed in the slightest that Kara forgot. She was completely understanding and even offered to help her friend. As a CEO, when your time is that valuable, it would be completely understandable if Lena was even the least bit frustrated that Kara forgot. But she wasn’t. And we all know that they probably just ended up rescheduling and causing Lena to rearrange at least a couple of meetings to spend time with Kara.

So in short, Lena is whipped as fuck. 

4

anon gave me a challenge; asked for a bit of Carl Barks with nice-guy-Gladstone but then I remember this part of A Christmas for Shacktown (W OS 367-02), which is a sweet holiday classic where the ducks are trying to raise twenty-five dollars to get the kids in the poor part of town a toy train!

remember when buffalo made a big deal about the oilers “cheating” during the draft lottery

remember when buffalo made a big deal about how they deserved mcdavid even though they were getting eichel

remember when the nhl media dismissed jack eichel in his own interviews

remember when the nhl always deferred to connor mcdavid during almost every question when they had interviews together

remember all the times jack eichel just stood there listening to people fawn over connor when he was right next to him, no one even acknowledging him.

remember when jack eichel was told in a board room meeting by a bunch of grown men (the sabres) that they didn’t want him but he was what they got and he stared them down and said “I think you did win the lottery.”

remember all the times jack eichel was pushed aside, forgotten about, disrespected to his face, treated like trash as a teenager, bullied by cities of people as a teenager. remember all those times because he just scored his 100th point in the NHL in 127 games and the media is completely brushing it off.  all he did to deserve any of this was dare to be the same age as connor mcdavid. but apparently that’s enough.

Nooroo is a little S H I T

So Nooroo is being forced to work for Hawkmoth, who the fandom has so far presumed to be Gabriel Agreste. But that doesn’t mean he has to work with him.

  • Nooroo tickling Gabe during important meetings
    • Gabe at an important gala or ball or something, and Nooroo tickles him so he spills wine on himself, Nathalie, or someone else.
      • Nooroo smells like wine for a week but it was so worth it.
  • Nooroo hiding pens, phones, remotes, and sketchbooks when Gabe isn’t looking.
  • Gabe hates open windows at night, so Nooroo starts opening every single door and window in the house at night. Especially if its winter.
  • Nooroo releasing all the butterflies in the middle of a board meeting
  • Nooroo letting his head peek out of Gabe’s chest pocket or whatever in the middle of a meeting
    • Someone asks about it, and Gabe has to save his ass by saying he likes to collect beanie babies
    • Now whenever he has a board meeting with those people he has to have at least one beanie babie out and around to keep up the act.
      • People start asking about them. “So where’s this weeks Beanie Baby?”
    • People in these meetings start telling other people; other boards, designers, interns
      • Eventually at the beginning of every meeting, Gabe is asked about the beanie babies.
        • Eventually he just shows it off even if no one is asked. Show and Tell. It’s added to the official minutes for each meeting.
    • Gabriel Agreste getting attached to the beanie babies
    • When Pap Pap is arrested, he asks if he can bring the beanie babies with him
    • Gabe gets used to having them around and starts using them as models

Why I Was Fired By Google, by James Damore

Special to the Wall Street Journal

I was fired by Google this past Monday for a document that I wrote and circulated internally raising questions about cultural taboos and how they cloud our thinking about gender diversity at the company and in the wider tech sector. I suggested that at least some of the male-female disparity in tech could be attributed to biological differences (and, yes, I said that bias against women was a factor too). Google Chief Executive Sundar Pichai declared that portions of my statement violated the company’s code of conduct and “cross the line by advancing harmful gender stereotypes in our workplace.”

My 10-page document set out what I considered a reasoned, well-researched, good-faith argument, but as I wrote, the viewpoint I was putting forward is generally suppressed at Google because of the company’s “ideological echo chamber.”My firing neatly confirms that point.

How did Google, the company that hires the smartest people in the world, become so ideologically driven and intolerant of scientific debate and reasoned argument?

We all have moral preferences and beliefs about how the world is and should be. Having these views challenged can be painful, so we tend to avoid people with differing values and to associate with those who share our values. This self-segregation has become much more potent in recent decades. We are more mobile and can sort ourselves into different communities; we wait longer to find and choose just the right mate; and we spend much of our time in a digital world personalized to fit our views.

Google is a particularly intense echo chamber because it is in the middle of Silicon Valley and is so life-encompassing as a place to work. With free food, internal meme boards and weekly companywide meetings, Google becomes a huge part of its employees’ lives. Some even live on campus. For many, including myself, working at Google is a major part of their identity,almost like a cult with its own leaders and saints, all believed to righteously uphold the sacred motto of “Don’t be evil.”

Echo chambers maintain themselves by creating a shared spirit and keeping discussion confined within certain limits. As Noam Chomsky once observed, “The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.”

But echo chambers also have to guard against dissent and opposition. Whether it’s in our homes, online or in our workplaces, a consensus is maintained by shaming people into conformity or excommunicating them if they persist in violating taboos. Public shaming serves not only to display the virtue of those doing the shaming but also warns others that the same punishment awaits them if they don’t conform.

In my document, I committed heresy against the Google creed by stating that not all disparities between men and women that we see in the world are the result of discriminatory treatment.

When I first circulated the document about a month ago to our diversity groups and individuals at Google, there was no outcry or charge of misogyny. I engaged in reasoned discussion with some of my peers on these issues, but mostly I was ignored.

Everything changed when the document went viral within the company and the wider tech world. Those most zealously committed to the diversity creed—that all differences in outcome are due to differential treatment and all people are inherently the same—could not let this public offense go unpunished. They sent angry emails to Google’s human-resources department and everyone up my management chain, demanding censorship, retaliation and atonement.

Upper management tried to placate this surge of outrage by shaming me and misrepresenting my document, but they couldn’t really do otherwise: The mob would have set upon anyone who openly agreed with me or even tolerated my views. When the whole episode finally became a giant media controversy, thanks to external leaks, Google had to solve the problem caused by my supposedly sexist, anti-diversity manifesto, and the whole company came under heated and sometimes threatening scrutiny.

It saddens me to leave Google and to see the company silence open and honest discussion. If Google continues to ignore the very real issues raised by its diversity policies and corporate culture, it will be walking blind into the future—unable to meet the needs of its remarkable employees and sure to disappoint its billions of users.

3

title: “Contagious” (Peter Parker Imagine)

characters: reader x peter parker, daughter x tony stark

word count:1,263

warnings: fluff&stuff, fatherly shit, swearing.

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Director stealing credit for intern's work? Enjoy unemployment and €250,000 personal debt.

Brace yourselves, it’s a bit of a long one, but it’s a prime example of a single sentence can go a long way. (tl:dr at the end)

So one summer at university I took a job in the marketing department of a small manufacturing company, ostensibly creating foreign language advertising material and safety texts, as well as all the social media stuff for their upcoming move into Europe.

It quickly became clear a large element of sales was involved but I didn’t mind - I was young and wanted lots of big wins for my résumé. The department consisted of myself, another guy for another European language, and one hugely underpaid 16-year-old ‘junior’ intern. We all worked for an absolute bandit (hereafter 'the boss’) who basically had no relevant experience or competencies but was a smooth talker and had ensnared the company owner with some kind of evil wizardry. This boss spent most of his time running a side business off his iPhone, only stopping to literally throw things at us whilst we were on the phone (banter), to randomly paint the inside of our office jet black (ceiling included) or make inane demands like trying to force a supplier to give us a 40% discount based on our tiny firms 'potential’.

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Prompt 149

Person A and Person B serve as president and vice president of a club on school. Their board meetings consist of them bickering over what to do with the club (very much like an old married couple) and grossly flirting in front of other board members (aka all of their friends).

Bonus: They refer to the club as their “child”, so when they argue they’re like “OH NO YOU WON’T DO THAT WITH OUR CHILD” and “our child deserves better than this”

maramcgregor  asked:

Prompt: Bad Bob and Bitty chatting about Bitty's most recent fight. Much to Jack's dismay.

It’s barely 7:00 am when a jaunty knock distracts Eric from the malfunctioning coffee machine and a peek through the peephole reveals the grinning, distorted face of Bob Zimmermann.

Jack’s father isn’t exactly the last person Eric is expecting to see, but he’s pretty damn close. When he opens the door, overly aware of Jack still sleeping in the bedroom, Bob smiles wide and almost pulls him into a hug before pausing and staring at Eric’s chest. Eric looks down realizes he’s wearing the joke pullover Tater got him for secret santa: ‘Hockey gives me a Zamboner’.

“Did Jack get that for you?”

“Mashkov, actually.”

“Huh,” Bob nods, “sounds about right.”

The hug is foregone as Bob nudges into the apartment, an overnight bag slung over his shoulder. “Still have a guest room for your father-in-law?”

“Don’t start with that, we aren’t married yet. And you know the answer is always yes. Jack’s still asleep. If you want to sit down I’m making breakfast.”

Bob drops his bag and walks past the nook into the kitchen, rolling up his sleeves to wash his hands. “And what is on the menu, Chef Bittle?”

Eric gestures to the largely empty kitchen. “I play professional hockey. Guess.”

Bob laughs. “Eggs?”

“Eggs,” Eric affirms. “So, why are you here?”

Bob makes grabby hands at the cutting board and Eric hands one over so Bob can start chopping mushrooms he’d already rinsed. “Officially, a board of directors meeting for the Foundation. Unofficially, I wanted to talk about the Aeros game.”

Eric fumbles with a red pepper, suddenly self-conscious. “Oh, well, seems I lost my head there at the end.”

“I can only imagine what McAllister must have said to you.”  

Oh yes, the Aeros game. The one where Eric knocked out a d-man a full head taller with a dirty hit straight out of Bob’s ‘84 playbook and spent half the third period in the penalty boy.

“I mean, who knew you had it in you? You were just feeding him,” Bob says, trying to hide his approval. “I wondered if I’d see that kind of passion from Jack, but he’s always funneled his anger into his shot. Remind me to show you the video from juniors where he shattered two glass panes in as many periods,” Bob chuckles at the memory and motions to Eric with his knife. A bit of mushroom falls from the end onto the counter and Bob doesn’t hesitate to pop the rogue fungi into his mouth. “God knows I didn’t expect it from you; but we need to work on your form. You’ll break your jaw if you’re not careful.”

Eric grins as the cut vegetables sizzle. “I know, right? Who knew a tiny gay boy from Georgia had it in him? And oh, Jack does, just you wait,” Eric says, sprinkling sriracha-infused sea salt in with the egg whites, a habit held over from his days in the Haus. “We just haven’t seen it yet because no one’s dumb enough to call him a f– “ Eric stops mid-sentence and looks over Bob’s shoulder “– Jack! You’re up, you want eggs?”

Jack is blinking at them sleepily, clearly trying to determine if his father is actually standing in his kitchen. “Papa?”

Bob waves. “Morning.”

y’know instead of us always begging for batfam in a movie, we could really just petition for a batfam show bc then we’d get episodes of dick and jason bickering over who ate the last sandwich while beating up drug dealers or tim and damian having to work together against penguin bc the others are held up dealing with scarecrow or an entire episode from oracle’s pov in the clocktower and also daytime moments like cass going to ballet, tim working at WE, steph taking out riddler while in civvies and keeping her cover, and bruce being a Dad™ while silently begging for his children to stop purposely showing up at WE in costume or in the middle of a board meeting shouting about what their sibling did this time

like it’d be so good and we deserve this