part of me is SO EXCITED for next week’s ep since Ali most likely comes out and there’s a good possibility of an emison kiss, but the other part of me is already Preparing For Disappointment™ and is realizing that it’s pretty little liars somehow they’ll fuck it all up
It’s the middle of the night — 4 a.m. to be exact, Alison glances at the clock next to her bed - laying down once again, eyes wide open as she becomes aware of her current situation.
Her breathing’s ragged, and the sheets feel way too heavy and constricting. She strips them of her body in less than a second — hissing when they brush against her sensitive and swollen breasts. She cannot believe this is her life right now.
Putting behind the homicidal maniac that is still out there right now, being impregnated with her friend’s eggs, having to deal with those (still very) confusing feelings for that friend, and now having to practically live with that friend — this is way worse.
Fuck, she hates that word; always has (it reminds her of all those neanderthal boys in high school — it repulses her, and it’s no different now) but that’s the only word she can use to describe the state of desperation, want, and frustration she is experiencing right now.
She presses her legs together, biting back a whimper as the ache between her legs is momentarily relieved.
She’s aching. It makes her mad.
Goddamn hormones, she curses as she runs her hand through her now protruding belly, that just seems to grow bigger everyday. Probably because of Emily’s —
“Emily…” she whispers to herself, pausing as her mind starts racing.
Emily, who’s sleeping down the hall right now, (because they don’t actually sleep together, at least not every night. Only when one of them has a nightmare, or when they pass out during an episode of Cupcake Wars, or on those regular occasions where they get takeout and Alison’s room seems too far away when she’s already half asleep on Emily’s bed, with her head on the brunette’s chest as she gets her hair played with). Emily, who told her to consider keeping the baby, and Alison did it because it’s Emily, and it’s been so long since she’s been able to deny her anything, (and maybe because the idea of having a little brunette with big doe eyes running around fills her up with longing, but with so much happiness too. And maybe, just maybe, because she gets to keep Emily because of this; and even though she knows it’s wrong, she can’t help it).
And safe, Emily always makes her feel safe.
Especially with that lean toned body of hers. ‘Ooh! And her arms,’ Alison thinks as she licks her lips, ‘all muscley from all those swimming years’. Obviously, Alison’s aware Emily doesn’t have the exact same physique she had when she was 16 but she’s in good conditions. That much Alison knows. She carries like 8 more bags than Alison carries, when they get home after groceries. Emily mows the lawn — and that might be Alison’s new favorite thing to do on sunny days, because Emily wears practically nothing and she always gets really sweaty and hot and —
If it wasn’t enough confirmation for Alison to know how attracted she is to Emily Fields, she is certainly aware by the sudden and greater warmth between her legs.
It’s too hard to ignore now, she’s sure.
All of her being is just begging her to walk that 8 feet distance to Emily’s room; her body’s just aching for it because she hasn’t been able to erase what had happened almost a decade ago; the feeling of Emily’s warm skin on her, the brunette’s soft lips, her teasing tongue and the way she had whimpered when Alison had ran her nails through her back and —
“Fuck,” Alison groans, finally relenting and moving her hand to the waistband on her underwear, until she gives up on the thought instantly; her head falling back onto the pillow.
She wants Emily.
She wants her, Alison thinks as she rubs her eyes in frustration.
“You know what,” she says to herself as she sprints out of bed barefoot, “this is her problem too,” she mutters, marching decidedly to Emily’s room.
When she gets there, Alison opens the door in a blink, grateful that it didn’t wake up the brunette — because how exactly is she supposed to explain this current dilema — and stops dead on her track at the view.
Emily’s on her back; her worn out t-shirt riding up just a couple of inches short from her breasts to be exposed, and all Alison wants to do is touch and wow she hadn’t realized how close she was until she realizes she’s sitting by the edge of the bed and her hand is just an inch from the brunette’s tantalizing skin.
She touches, softly. Just a feather-like touch. Careful not to awake her. And then, she thinks, 'Maybe I don’t even have to humiliate myself to Emily.’
Maybe she’ll be good with just touching and taking in the brunette’s presence and then going back to her room, Alison thinks.
Yeah, that’ll work.
So Alison touches.
She runs her hands through Emily’s smooth legs - loving specially how the brunette hums contently when Alison reaches her thighs - and yeah, legs might be a dangerous territory. So she runs her hands up and down her toned arms, and her stomach - reveling on the taut muscles that flex when her hands go too high and she remembers how Emily’s always been ticklish in her belly so she stops that too, (also because Emily’s chest has always been a weakness of hers and she is not about to let Emily catch her fondling her while she sleeps, and— Oh, god. How creepy would that be).
Now aware of what the hell she was actually doing, Alison carefully stands up for her spot in Emily’s mattress and tip toes to the door.
It’s not when she hears a distinct, “Ali?,” coming from behind that she stops dead in her tracks.
This cannot be happening.
Hey, honestly I’m kinda high rn and this was not meant to be to serious but if u guys like it and shit then yeah cool. (I might have written another part to it ?) Also idk send me shit to write about maybe ?
Also I haven’t watched the show since like season 5 so like sorry if it’s not accurate enough to what’s going on rn. I tried.
I know how i feel when she looks at me. I’ve never felt that with anyone else. It’s like she sees who you really are. Maybe that’s the scariest part, you look at her eyes and you wanna be worth the effort. You wanna be the person she sees
Ali has always known, she’s just scared to love and be loved. She’s scared she’s not enough for her mermaid.