Beware the merchants of hate. Those who say “hate your brother for he oppresses you and you are justified”. Those cynical men who hold power know that if the people can be kept divided and fighting amongst themselves, distrusting each other then it will keep them underfoot. Divide them by religion. Divide them by race. Divide them by class, Divide them by gender. Divide them by sexual orientation. Divide them by age. Divide them by language. Divide them by geography. Then the people can be controlled. If they one day unite then the tyrants must tremble in their palaces.
Always look closely at any leader that who tells you that your neighbor is your enemy. What do they stand to gain by dividing us?
“Dean, its okay to save yourself too. I mean, you’ve been like this since…. I… Dean just, please tell me what your thinking right now.” I cut the awkward silence, feeling the tension that cut through the thick air. Throughout the whole night, he avoided my gazed and barely said a word. We were supposed to scout the next victim that the demon could of attacked, but things where not going to plan at all. It started when the song on the radio kept cutting out, so I changed it, but he had other plans to slap it right back to the cutting out station, making me irritated. Although I didn’t show it; I let him play his stupid game of being a child about things and let the stupid cutting music play.
“I mean can we just talk about you for a minute? And everything that is going on in your head?” I sigh getting on my nerves.
“There is nothing to talk about.” He states, reaching for the volume knob, turning up the radio to the stupid cutting station.
I move his hand, muting it, “Look what you have become Dean, it’s not healthy. Sammy’s worried about you Dean, I mean shit; Bobby thought you where broken before you left, And now I’m just here, trying to figure out how to fix you. Please tell me something; tell me anything. I just need to know.” I state. He cuts the Impala, the engine dying. The air stopped blowing on us and he unclicked his belt. “I don’t need to tell you a damn thing, now drop it.” He gives me a death glare before opening his door and getting out. The harsh slam made me jump, and I couldn’t think of anything else to say to him, anything that could offer peace.
But I knew that I couldn’t save Dean, and it killed me knowing that there was a mile wide war going on in his head that even himself could not even fix. He was battling against himself and nothing was being done to win that war.
He had been dragged to hell, and now pushed into purgatory. He lost his brother twice, Cas countless times, me twice and Bobby permanently. He had nothing else to hold on to. I unfasten my seat belt, and haul ass out of the car. “Tell me Dean! Tell me why the fuck you wont talk to me! Tell me why you can’t even look me in the face, an when you do, its like I’m the bad guy! I tried! I tried my hardest to save you! I looked everywhere, contacted every Angel, tried to seal thousands of deals with demons, But they wouldn’t! They wouldn’t take my soul because they knew it was just as corrupt as yours! They offered me three month! Way sorter than what they offered you for Sam! They rather have me heartbroken and dying on the inside then send me to purgatory with you! Nobody helped! And now? Now you wont even ta-SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” He yells, slamming his fist into the metal as he looks over the roof of the Impala.
“I’m finally back and now you just want to start fighting?! Its like all we do is fight any more!” He yells as me.
We were fighting like a married couple, but I had just lost him. And now he showed up out of nowhere and insists we go back to normal.
“I lost you Dean! I fucking lost you!” We both walk around to the front of the Impala, “And instead of leaving you, I fucking searched to no end! I gave up everything to try to be with you! I-I… I prayed, I prayed to anyone-any fucking angel who could hear me but no one came!” My throat swelled, and it suddenly became hard for me to breath. “I lost my best friend! I couldn’t coop!” Tears fall from my eyes.
Things got awkward between us, the silence thick and irritating all at the same time. “I thought about you everyday! I got drunk every night just to feel something! And when I ended up driving drunk, I should of died! I should of ran right into the cliff on the road!” I push his chest, “I wanted to kill myself! I would rather be dead than not have you! Than not have Sam or Bobby back! I wanted all of us! Back to normal just the way it was!” I push him again, feeling rage, seeing nothing but red.
“It turned out that I couldn’t even do that-I couldn’t even kill myself because I was afraid! Afraid that if I did, I would be exactly like my mom!” My fist hit his shoulder, and he stood there and took everything I threw at him. “When Lucifer took me, and tortured me, you found me and promised that you would always find me, because thats what family does! But when I tried, and tried , and almost killed myself for you-YOU COME BACK WANTING NOTHING FROM ME! LIKE WE ARE STRANGERS!” I turn away from him, kicking the wheel of the Impala. Tears wouldn’t stop running down my face.
“Story time is over, apparently sharing feelings isn’t something we do anymore Dean.” I spit, hearing my phone ring in the car. I hurry to the car to pick up my phone. I heard Sam’s voice come through, telling me that he needs us back at the small motel we hid out in. “Get in, Sam needs us.” I state, buckling up and telling Sam we would be there in a few.
Dean starts the car, but I didn’t care, I couldn’t even look at him anymore. I sat in silence as I cried. He didn’t play the radio to tune me out, he didn’t even say anything. I truly lost my best friend, and there is nothing I could do to get him back.
Soon, we where at the motel, siting in front of the buzzing light. He cut the engine again and threw his keys on the dash. “I practically worshiped you Dean, I-I fucked loved you.” I rasp out, turning to look at him. His face didn’t hold any emotion, his eye fixed straight at me. I huffed, confessing my feelings weren’t enough, I wasn’t enough for him.
I open the car door and hurry out, getting into the motel as fast as I could, trying to escape Dean. As soon as I got in, Sammy was up and holding me; seeing the tears running down my face. Dean didn’t bother to come in, I heard his engine rev up, and he left the parking lot. “I tried Sam, I-I tried helping him, he just doesn’t want to be saved.” I huff into his chest, feeling my tears soak into his shirt.
“What did you talk about?” He ask, helping you sit down on the wooden chair. I rest my head on my hand, feeling more tears coming. “We didn’t talk. I did all the talking. He didn’t tell me anything, he didn’t care about anything, it’s like he was waiting for me to shut up so he could resume his life.” I say, wiping under my eyes.
Sam pulls out a mug and pours me some coffee, and hands it to me. “Did you tell him?” He asks me, taking a seat across from me. “Yeah, just as we were getting in here I did, and then I ran out because he didn’t care.” I say, taking a sip of the hot liquid, not caring if it burnt my mouth. Sammy is the only person who know about me liking Dean; or having feelings for him. I told him when I first started hunting with them, Sam and I became so close that we acted like brother and sister. We told each other everything, I was there for him when he had no soul; and Dean didn’t want anything to do with me. I knew there was nothing going for us because he had Ben and Lisa, while I had soulless Sam and a broken heart.
“He just drove off; ran away, like he always does.” I sigh, trying my best to pick myself up and glue the broken pieces back together before he showed up again. “Its like he doesn’t even see me for me. Ever since he got back, its like I’m dead to him.” I whisper.
Sammy just looked at me, he felt my sorrow, and he tried his best to comfort me the rest of the night. We ended up watching a movie on the small couch together, and he fell asleep before me. I covered him up with a small blanket, and took the drink out of his hand. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, so happy; something that I wish I could be right now. I lean in, brushing his mop of hair off his forehead, and place a gently kiss on his temple. I write a small letter to him; telling him that he has treated me so great.
I left Dean a note on his pillow, Thanking him for everything but it just wasn’t my place to stay any more.
I packed up everything that wasn’t in my bag, I looked around the small place - and even in its unfamiliar scene, I found comfort knowing that I was there with the two people I loved most, Sam and Dean. Even though Dean walked away on me before I could walk away on this life, I still felt heartbroken, I’ve felt this way for way to long. It hurts; it changed me into someone I couldn’t be. Into someone I didn’t like.
Tears where pooling in my eyes as I zipped up my bag, and grabbed my coat. The familiar tone of Baby came running through the walls and I felt rushed, I could hear the motel door unlock and froze in my tracks as soon as I saw Dean walk through. His eyes where bloodshot, his knuckles where bleeding. He looked like a wreck, and when he saw me, it was like the whole universe stopped around us. He shut the door quietly, dropping his hunting bag on the ground, rushing up to me. His hand slides around my neck, his other around my waist; forcing me into him. Our lips smash together, our teeth clanked but I didn’t care. My hand betrayed me as they grabbed the collar of his coat, pulling him closer. We fell on the bed, him on top of me. His hands where roaming all around my body, our lips never parted.
When he rolled over, he pulled me on top if him, my legs straddling his waist. He pushes my hair around, trying to get a clear vision of me as he pulled away. “I cant talk to you about Purgatory because when I told you about hell, you cried for me, you glued me back together-” he pulls me down for another long steamy kiss, my hands roaming his strong arms. I gasp; feeling him bit my bottom lip; “Because you where the only thing that kept me going in both places; I thought of you, I fought because of you. I barely slept because I was too busy fighting and finding a way back to you.” He says kissing down my neck.
“I knew when I left; when Cas and I got transported to that place; there was no way I could come back; for a while I couldn’t even do anything because I knew there was no hope in trying to get back.” He mumbles against my collar bone. Dean sucks on the skin where his lips landed, teeth grazing and tongue soothing. His hands went down to grip my waist tight. “You are all I’ve wanted since I came back; but I couldn’t put you through what I went through because I have feelings for you; I’ve had then since I went to hell. I loved you when I was possessed by that demon; the small times I would get to see you; when I was stronger; you where in pain from what I had done to you. I never wanted to hurt you again.” He rasps, pulling me down closer to him. Our lips collide again, kissing with such a force.
“But I ended up killing you inside and I’m responsible for that.” He whispers into the nape of my jaw.
“KI tried, I tried looking for you and that won’t change a thing between us, because I care for you and what we have between us matters to me, and it should matter to you. Things are different now Dean, I told you I wanted to help.” I whisper to him.
“I’m not going to leave you like everyone else has. I’ll follow your ass down to hell if i have too, I won’t leave you because you deserve more that what has been thrown your way.” I lean in, pecking his lips.
“I only started realizing that when I left. And it hurt me. When you told me all those things; I came back.” He says, letting my body fall to his side. His arm laid gently on my waist as I cupped his cheek. Our legs intertwined and we where glued back together; our lips never parting. “I’m here for you Dean.” I whisper into his lips, pressing a soft kiss. His eyes closed with tiredness. This was the first time I’d actually seen him laying down getting rest. I knew he would usually have nightmares; so he avoided long periods of sleep.
His eyelashes grazed the top of his cheeks, his hair ruffled in many different directions. I peck his lips softly, feeling more tears coming. I am finally in his arms after one long year, breaking his tight barrier to help him. “I love you.” He mumbles tiredly. “I’ll always protect you.” He adds, shoving his face into the nape of my neck. He breaths out gently on my skin, creating goosebumps. I held him tight all night long while I watched him sleep; making sure that nothing would disturb him. Because it is my turn to protect the selfless Dean; they guy how puts everyone first.
A scenario where farmer reveals to kent’s family at the dinner table that their dad was absent due to the war too?
“Hi,” Kent greeted the farmer when they entered his and Jodi’s house, “Please, come in.”
Jodi appeared from the kitchen hurriedly, excitedly greeting the farmer. “Ah, I’m so glad you came! And you brought the fish!” She folded her hands together and smiled sweetly. “Wonderful.” The farmer returned her smile politely.
“Sam!” She called through the wall separating Sam’s room and the living room. “Could you come in here and help me clean this fish?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sam called annoyedly through the door and appeared in the doorway and made his way between the farmer and his mom.
The farmer held the fish in their outstretched arms for Sam and Jodi to see.
“Wow, it looks so wonderful,” Jodi mired as he observed the fine details of the fish’s muscle distribution and scale composition. She leaned towards in and inhaled quickly. “And it smells so fresh! Thanks so much for doing this.” She smiled up at the farmer again before looking at her husband annoyedly. “Kent caught a fish, too, but he eats about a whole fish to himself!”
The farmer turned in time to see Kent chuckle and cross his arms proudly over his broad chest.
After sitting down to dinner, they all made light but friendly conversation. When Kent mentioned the war, the farmer looked down at their plate shyly, scarcely eating as they prodded their fish.
“Is everything okay?” Jodi asked gently, sensing that they were distressed.
“Yeah,” they looked up from their dinner again and exchanged glances with her and Kent awkwardly. “The war is just a bit of a tender subject for me,” they paused to take their fork back from their thoroughly punctured fish, “My father was gone fighting too. From what I hear, he still hasn’t come back…” They hesitantly set down their fork. “I just worry sometimes.”
Kent nodded, his eyes downcast at his own dinner.
“I’m sorry to hear that, dear,” Jodi frowned sympathetically. She glanced at Sam who was now also unusually quiet. “We all understand just how hard it can be.” She reached across the table and set her hand gently on the farmer’s. “If you ever need to talk, you have a family here.” He smiled sympathetically. “I’m sure I can speak for all of us when we say you’re like family to us.”
Sam looked up finally to the farmer and nodded, half a smile spread on his lips. They glanced to Kent and grunted gruffly, nodding his head in agreement.
The farmer could feel their lower lip begin to tremble as they nodded back to them all, sniffing away the tears stinging their eyes. “Thank you all. I consider you to be my family too.”
At the end of the night, the farmer had found themselves a new family, had some good laughs, and shared some amazing food with close friends. They were content and happy going to sleep that night.