blurg not sure if i like this or not

Bazz-B rates the coolness of the stern ritter


As requested by anon. :)


Bazz-B is going to rate the coolness of his fellow stern ritter. On a scale of 1-10 “coolness fingers.” Whatever those are.


1. Ishida

“That guy is the opposite of cool. The embodiment of uncoolness. 0/10 coolness fingers.”

Ishida: So basically you’re still bitter that I replaced Haschwalth?

Bazz-B: No I am TOTALLY unbiased!


2. Haschwalth

“Haschwalth is the embodiment of coolness. His hair alone rockets him to a 10/10 coolness fingers.”

Haschwalth: Thanks. I’m also pretty proud of my eyelashes.

Bazz-B: As well you should be!


3. Askin

“His face screams ‘dork’ - especially with that ridiculous hair lock of his. But on the other hand, he was selected as part of His Majesty’s royal guard. So he’s been judged cool. Altogether…6/10 coolness fingers.”

Askin: Phew…passing.

Bazz-B: …have you ever thought about having standards?


4. Bambietta

“The hat and the attitude make Bambietta one of the coolest! Plus, her powers are Explode, and everybody knows explosions are super cool! 9/10 coolness fingers!”

Bambietta: Thanks, but I’ll still cut you in half if we’re ever alone together.

Bazz-B: And that’s why you’re cool!


5. As Nodt

“Uh…that spiky face mask *should* be cool, but As Nodt is all scared 'n’ needy and stuff, which kinda ruins it. Plus, his lack of lips just freaks me out. 4/10.”

As Nodt: Freaks out you, huh?

As Nodt: That would be depressing if it weren’t my whole reason for being.


6. Liltotto

“She ate Pepe. That’s cool. Her detachable mouth thing? Less cool and more weird. 5/10 coolness fingers.”

Liltotto: You say that knowing I eat people who piss me off, huh?


7. Cang Du

“I used to think Cang Du was cool. He has cool hair. But then he was all 'blurg urg you’re taking my fight’ and then he lost. So…yeah. 6/10 coolness fingers.”

Cang Du: I have *never* uttered the prhase “blurg urg.”

Bazz-B: I’m pretty sure you just did.


8. BG9

“Robots are automatically cool. 7/10 coolness fingers.”

BG9: If I’m automatically cool then why only a 7?

Bazz-B: Well it’s not like you’re one of those cool robots.


9. PePe

“Yeah…the floating basket and the diaper just aren’t as cool as he thinks they are. The only person less cool then that guy is Ishida. 1/10 coolness fingers.”

PePe: It’s sad that you don’t know love.

Bazz-B: It’s sad that you don’t know cool.


10. Gerard Valkyrie

“Like, I don’t even need to know what that guy’s power is. He’s just cool. So cool. 9/10 coolness fingers!”

Gerard: My winged hat is basically awesome.


11. Meninas

“I dunno. I guess her power is cool 'n’ all. But she always seems so - confused. Like, who doesn’t know who Kurosaki Ichigo is?? Gotta dock her for that. 5/10 coolness fingers.”

Meninas: Sorry I was thinking about hats and I didn’t hear a word you said.

Bazz-B: See, that’s what I’m talking about!


12. Mask de Masculine

“Masks are cool. Poses are cool. But I dunno. Something about having a tiny man follow you around to cheer for you. That just seems like the opposite of cool. Gonna have to go with a 7/10 coolness fingers.”

Mask: Got something against tiny men?

Bazz-B: I really don’t know how to answer that.


13. Candice

“Candice is definitely cool! Sure I may occasionally try to kill her on the battlefield, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think she’s cool! I think she and I have a similar attitude toward life! 8/10 coolness fingers!”

Candice: I feel totally insulted.

Bazz-B: …how come nobody likes my compliments?


14. Gemmy

“Gremmy’s just a brain. A brain that could look any way he wished. I feel like with that much power, he really could have done something cooler. 4/10 coolness fingers.”

Gremmy: I’m sorry. Should I have had a mohawk like you?

Bazz-B: That’d be a start! 


15. Nianzol

“Two tongues. Which he owns. 6/10 coolness stars.”

Nianzol: I’m more than my two tongues, you know.


16. Lille

“Oh man. Lille seems totally cool. A gunman. A cool power name - anything with 'X’ in it is automatically cool! 9/10 coolness stars!”

Lille: So do you think geometry is cool too?

Bazz-B: What


17. Giselle

“Um…I’m not sure 'cool’ is really the word for Giselle the blood-drinking zombie mistress.”

Giselle: What’s the word then? “Super-cool?

Bazz-B I was leaning more toward "freaky.”