blue condoms

are you drunk, mrs. lahey?

Originally posted by lovershub

a night out with the girls takes a surprising turn of events, and isaac’s not likely to deny his wife what she wants. (humor/smut)

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anonymous asked:

Do you guys carry blue sparkly condoms in this store? I need quite a few

If it’s condoms you are looking for…

I’ve already shown you all our fine selection of LITTLE LOVE GLOVES! 

I do not think we carry blue sparkles, but the craft aisle is to your right if you’d like the DIY route!

anonymous asked:

i love your blog and we share pretty much all of the same fandoms, so i was wondering if you had any fic recs? for skam, the raven cycle, all for the game, black sails, the 100, shades of magic, harry potter, percy jackson, captive prince and shadowhunters, thank you.

oh my god, thank you??? you’re so lovely and polite, anon. i have TONS of fic recs for all of the above (except shades of magic and shadowhunters…i have one for both) so i like, apologise for the amount of fics you’re going to receive. you could check out my fic rec tag instead…there’s a lot in this list. i’m incapable of choosing between things, but i tried to narrow it down? i’m sure there are plenty of more amazing fics, but these are my absolute favourites. (IT’S A LOT.)

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Dom!Seungkwan- Natural Needs

CONTAINS: Dom!Seungkwan, 69, spanking, choking

“In which Seungkwan shows a totally different side….a very….sexy…dominant side.”

Seungkwan/OC

~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~ ~+~

Damnit Seungcheol….

Seungkwan kept silently cussing out his hyung. Why does Seungcheol do this? So far he’s set up Joshua and Soori, Wonwoo and Saya….now…it’s his turn to be left alone, in one of his most needy times. He could go into the bathroom and rub it out there….but

..failure to move doomed him.

He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off her bare legs, from her pretty pink-pedicured toes, to the hem of her playboy sleepshorts.
His eyebrows furrowed and he bit his lip subtly. The way her nipples poked through the fabric of the black tanktop wasn’t exactly helping either.

“Boo…”

Her voice was raspy, barley above a whisper.
Seungkwan swallowed hard. “Y-yea?” He asks.

“What….would you….say…if…I suggested…some kind of….heated experimentation?” She asks. Seungkwan’s head snaps to look at her.

“Define…heated?” He asks. 

“Have you ever watched Porn, Boo?” She asks. Seungkwan broke out in a cold sweat

Fuck, she must have seen the open tab on the computer downstairs.

“I…uh….well…I’m a teenage boy so, yeah…” He says.

“Cool then, lets go watch porn,” she says getting up. 

“Wait what-wait…uh, okay! Let’s watch porn” Seungkwan shrugs. When she walked ahead of him, he smirked darkly.

Yes. Let’s watch porn so I know just what makes you wet.


He followed her into the room he shared with DK, Hoshi, Chan and Vernon. And sat with her on his bunk as he took out his tablet. 

“So, you guys have tablets and laptops….why watch porn on the computer down in the dance studio? Especially because we all film our webcasts there…” she asks. 

“Ask Seungcheol, now… What are…you..y'know…into?” He asks.

They search through ending up in the “teen” category and Seungkwan picks an ironic clip, similar to their situation.

“Cute Curious Teen Boy Screws Female Best Friend”.

They watched the two pornstars seduce eachother and Seungkwan naturally licked his lips when the boy went down on his friend. 

“God I want someone to eat my pussy like that,” Mijae said with a sigh. Seungkwan gripped the sheets. Watching as the girl was now deep throating the guy’s dick. 

“Huh yeah…I want someone to suck me off like thath” He says.

“I can suck you off,” she replied. Seungkwan gripped the sheets tighter, she was testing him….

Alright. Let’s play.

“Well, I can eat you out,” Seungkwan says back. “But by all means, baby. Ladies first.”

He says shifting and moving between her legs.

He bites his lip, smiling as he pulls her shorts down, revealing a bright pale yellow pair of panties. He rests his head on her thigh and rubs his thumb over her clothed clit. 

“Oooh god, your pussy’s so warm…” he whispers, hooking his fingers under the waistline of her panties and slowly pulls them down, his gaze alternating between her heat and her own eyes. 

He pushed her thighs apart and slid a finger along her pussy. “Mhmm…I bet you taste so, so good,” he murmurs.

His pretty pink tongue darts out to lap over her clit. 

“Y-you..your tongues so soft…” she moans. He smirks as he sucks her clit roughly. She whimpered loudly and grabbed his hair, boosting Seungkwan’s confidence.

“God you do taste so good. I can’t get enough,” he moans. He brings his fingers to her dripping pussy. “You ever been fingered before, Kitten?” Seungkwan asks. 

She shakes her head. 

“Would you like me too? This all can be the first for both of us,” Seungkwan says. She nods and spreads her legs more as Seungkwan leans in to suck the lips of her pussy. He stuck his middle finger in, getting her used to it before adding his ring finger.

He began pumping his fingers into her hard and fast.

“O-oh…god…Boo!” She moans. He smirks against her clit as he nibbles and sucks it. 

He kept sucking her clit hard, tugging slightly.

“Here Kitten, ride my face.” He says laying down. He unbuckles his belt and slides his shorts and boxer-briefs off, his dick hard and ready. She gets the hint and leans down, licking the tip of his cock.

“S-shit…” he gasps, as his thumb rubs her clit. He leans his head up and goes back to eating her out. He smacks her ass and moans at the feeling of her moaning around him. “Is this okay?..th-the spanking??” he asks, stopping suddenly. 

She nods, “I trust you, Seungkwan…besides…I want it rough.”

Seungkwan groans in approval as she moves and takes his cock back into her mouth.

With a gasp, he gathers her hair into a ponytail in his hand and guides her along his cock. His back arches off the bed as she dips her tongue into the slit, licking the precum greedily. 

“Fuck. Mhmm god you suck dick like a little champ. Fuck…think you can take this down your pretty throat?” Seungkwan asks. She nods, taking him in further till the tip of his dick goes down her throat slightly.

His grip on her hair tightens and she moans.

“Bend..bend over the edge of the bed Kitten” he murmurs, his voice slightly raspy.

She follows his command and he gets behind her spreading her asscheeks apart. 

“Look at that pretty ass.” He moans. he softly grabs her ass, massaging the soft flesh and she moans loving it all. He leans in and begins rimming her roughly burying his face into her. He moved down and ate her pussy a little more too..

He got up and removed his shirt and hers, moving behind her. He jacked himself off a minute and pulled the transparent blue condom out of his shorts pocket, slipping it on. He pushes his cock into her and lets out a long moan.
He waits for her to adjust and begins ramming into her from behind. Mijae was moaning loudly and reached between her legs to rub her clit as Seungkwan fucked her.

“Fuck, you like having my cock fuck this pussy? You’re taking me soo well, Kitten” he moans. 

“S-Seungkwan….” She moans

He spanks her ass again. 

“Yeah, say my name. Scream it. I don’t care who hears you,” Seungkwan growls. She moans in response and Seungkwan smacks her ass again, admiring the red hand mark on her perfect ass.

“I *smack* didn’t *smack* hear you *smack* scream!” He yells ending his sentence with a hard thrust and a rough smack to match.

“UGH FUCK YOU SEUNGKWAN!!” She yells. Throwing her head back.

“Actually, it’s me who’s fucking you, baby,” Seungkwan murmurs.

“I could fuck you too, Boo,” she pants smugly.

“Yeah? beg me to let you,” he whispers, sucking at her neck.

He thrusts into her harder, he’s sure that at least Joshua’s come up from the studio by now and the thought of being heard spread the heat even further.
He is surprised though, when Mijae brings his hand to her neck. 

“I’ve always wanted to try this…as long as you’re comfortable with this too.” she murmurs. Seungkwan’s eyebrows furrow in lust, and he nods, bringing her back to his chest. she guides him how hard she’d like him to grip, and he complies. Her head thrown back on his shoulder, sweaty bodies pressed together.

“P-please Boo…” she whimpers. Smirking, Seungkwan nibbles at her neck.

“You really want to ride me, don’t you babygirl?” he asks in a sensual whisper. She nods.

“Please, please…Let me ride you, Boo,” she pleads. Seungkwan smirks. He lays down and she straddles him, lowering herself onto him.

She starts out slow, but soon Seungkwan takes charge yet again and has her bouncing on him harder and faster, he watches her breasts bounce and plays with her nipple with one hand and rubs her clit with the other.

“I just gotta take care of you baby…I wanna make sure you cum real good,” he groans. She leans forward, their foreheads touching as he whimpers. “S-So…beautiful…”

He lays her back on the bed again, and kisses her neck to muffle the loud, wanton moans signaling his oncoming orgasm. 

“G-god baby….f-fuck…fuck…fuck!” he groans, voice rigid and a tone higher as he cums, triggering her release as well.

“Oh…my…god…that…was..holy shit I …I love you.” Seungkwan says realizing it vibrantly. She giggles. 

“I love you too.. I..kinda had a hunch you had deeper feelings but…i didn’t wanna seem-”

“hush, i could never think you’re weird,” Seungkwan says warmly.

Once they clean themselves up they cuddle up and pass out, forgetting that this room is shared.

But. They’ll deal with that later.

-Anon