blue are the feelings that live inside me


“You want to watch me, Jim?” she had asked, out of the blue, as we finished breakfast.

“Watch you do what?”

She blushed slightly, a rarity in talking about this part of our lives, and gave a short laugh. “Ummmmm…YOU know…WATCH me…?”

Oh…..“I….jeez, I haven’t thought much about it. I mean, I think I’d like to, but…”

“The thing is…I really LIKE how we’ve been doing things…how it’s been going. But I also still get that feeling inside while I watch you in the bars before you leave with a guy. I compare them to me, and in my mind they always come out ahead. Better looking, better bodies, funnier, more engaging.

All of it gets pushed aside by the excitement I feel, and then when you come home later and are the way you are with me, it makes everything fine again. But …I don’t know how it’d be if I was actually watching you with someone, considering how I feel seeing you with them fully-clothed.”

“Jim…” she said, looking in to my eyes. “I don’t candy-coat anything with you, right?”

I shook my head.

“We agreed we wouldn’t when we started this, right?”

“Yes.” I replied.

“You still OK with that?”

“Of course.” I answered, suddenly unsure.

“OK. So first, I have NEVER been with anyone who is better looking than you. Not once. Not since we started this, not since I met you, not ever that I remember.”

I felt my face flush. She didn’t lie to me, at least that I knew of, but it was hard for me to hear and believe what she was saying.

As if she knew what I was thinking, she continued. “I won’t lie to you Jim. I can’t prove it, but you’ll have to trust me on that. Now, I HAVE been with guys who have better bodies than you. And I’ve been honest with you every time you ask about their, um…equipment.”

“I don’t know how to get you over those feelings, baby.” she continued as we got in the car and headed to work. “But I do know I’d love for you to be there and watch. I mean, I would REALLY love it.”

“We’ll see baby. I’ll work on it. Anything for you!”

I worked on it too. Watching her in bars as they approached her, seeing them sit with her, staring mesmerized when she’d touch their arms, or let their hands slip beneath the hem of her skirt, I tried to stop comparing myself to them and instead focus on her, concentrate only on how much she enjoyed doing it.

It was helping. I told myself that, for me at least, this was all about her pleasure, and focusing on that helped a lot.

We hit the bars and clubs several times over the next few months. Although lots of flirting occurred, very little of anything else happened. Some touching. Even some kissing. But definitely no hook ups. It seemed liked the men got nervous and backed out when it was time to leave with my wife. So as the months went by I stopped thinking about watching her and I kinda thought she had put the idea out of her head. I should have known better!

One Friday at work Rachel called. “I want to go out tonight. I have a place in mind. That ok?” I agreed and said it sounded like fun. Then she said “I have a surprise planned for you!” Before I could ask, she hung up.

I rushed home after work. She was getting ready for our night out. I grabbed a glass if wine and relaxed for a bit. Finally she told me to get ready. I showered and got dressed. That’s when I saw her outfit. Wow!! Little black dress and my favorite heels.

Do you really like the dress?“ It sounded like a serious question and so deserved a smart-ass answer, I thought.

"Well…it’d look better on the floor next to the bed.” I answered.

She stopped and turned, biting her bottom lip to hold back her smile. “Well…you’ll get to see it how you like it later then.”

Turns out it didn’t wind up on the floor next to a bed until much, much later.

We drove to the club, somewhere I’d never been. We walked inside. We were led to a high-top table at the edge of the dance floor, ordered a bottle of vodka, which appeared quickly with a host of set-ups once I’d handed over my card.

And that was where I had been sitting ever since, sipping on vodka tonics while watching my wife dance (mostly), looking forward to her brief trips over to have a drink and catch her breath.

She had been dancing with the same guy off and on throughout the night. I enjoyed watching her. Watching her grind against him. Watching him run his hands over body. They obviously enjoyed each other. I wondered if she would leave with him.

During the evening, one woman kept coming over to our table. She tried to flirt, but I wasnt interested. While Rachel was talking to me, we saw her watching us. She probably felt us both looking at her. She didn’t look away, just kept dancing, watching us watch her. She was something else.

“Damn Jim…we might could get you laid…” Rachel said, her southern drawl peaking through in her own drunken state. She turned back to me with a smile. I was surprised, she didn’t typically like girls hitting on me. Like I said, she was having a great time.

I leaned toward her and said “I thought I was already getting laid tonight.”

She nodded. “That’s right…you are!” She slid off her stool, stepped close and put her lips on my ear, and whisper-shouted “You’re just gonna have to wait your turn…” She slugged back her drink and drifted back to the floor, finding her partner and settling back in with him.

The night moved on. I watched her intently, fixing Rachel’s drinks when she’d come by for a break, the steady throbbing always in my pants. There were no more dance-floor orgasms, but not for the guy’s lack of trying. He was all over her, and she let him pretty much touch as he pleased, several times looking my way while his hands glided over her body. She’d rebuff him when he tried to get them inside her dress though, enjoying the tease on him as much as the tease she was putting on me.

He was a few inches taller than her even in her heels. His shirt was taught against his muscular build. He was also, much as I hated to admit it, pretty nice looking and pretty well built. Jealousy tugged at me, and I fought it by focusing on her, seeing how much fun she was having.

She came over to the table again, breathless, skin shining with sweat. I handed her drink over. She kissed me.

“You gonna be OK to drive baby?” she asked.

“I’m good.” I said. We were about halfway through the bottle, but I’d been sipping. She’d actually had most of it.

“K…we’re gonna get out of here soon.” she said, pulling on her drink again. I freshened it up with vodka and she smiled. “I’m already drunk babe. And, I don’t need to be drunk for later anyway.” she teased.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“I got us a hotel room a little ways away at that Marriott. Just another surprise for you. I checked in earlier…keys are in my bag.”

I opened the tiny black clutch she’d brought along, found two plastic card keys in a small envelope. I shook my head, smiling.

“Is he coming with us?” I asked.

She nodded, watching me.

“Am I coming with you?” I asked.

Same response.

“He knows?”

She leaned in again. “A little bit ago, when he was trying to get up in my dress, I asked if he was gonna be OK fucking me while my husband watched.” She laughed. “After his jaw hit the floor, he looked over at you and then shrugged his shoulders. So I guess. We’ll see.”

The music changed, and she said “Ohhh…LOVE this song…last dance!” She finished her drink in a gulp again and went to find him. I watched, noticed a tremor in my hand as I sipped my drink, felt my heart in my chest. Anticipation.

As the song wound down and bled in to another, I saw them split, then watched curiously as Rachel headed my way. We paid and started heading towards the car.

The guy walked up next to us, a little tentatively. She grabbed his arm, letting go of mine. Hmmm.

We walked outside. The air was cool, felt great after the heat of the crowded club. Rachel’s nipples stiffened and pressed against the thin black fabric of her dress.

“This is Chris baby…” she said. “Chris, that’s Jim.”

We nodded awkwardly at each other.

“Go on and get the car baby.” she said.

I was a little shocked, but I stepped off the curb toward the lot as she stayed behind with him. I could see them on the curb through the windshield as I started the car. Rachel shivered, chilly as her sweat dried in the cool night air. She pressed against Chris, and he wrapped a big arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to warm her. It was a bit far, but I thought that she was staring directly at me as she nestled against his body.

Pulling to the curb, I didn’t know quite what to do. I went with my default, popped the locks and stepped out, walking around to open the door for Rachel. As I stepped in front of the car, however, she opened the back door, ducked inside, and pulled Chris in behind her. This time it wasn’t my imagination, her eyes were locked on mine through the windshield glass as she pulled him close to her.

I got awkwardly back in the car. I knew where the hotel was, so I drove off wordlessly. I glanced in the rear view mirror, saw Rachel eying me. After catching my eye, she leaned to Chris and began kissing him. It was an open-mouthed kiss, I could see her pushing her tongue in to his mouth. I stifled a moan in my throat, tried to watch the road, eyes constantly stealing back to the mirror. After a bit, she pulled away. I heard the faint sound of a zipper as she stared at me in the mirror again, then thought I noticed a small smile at the corner of her mouth before her head disappeared from view.

She began sucking his cock, the sounds were obvious. She did it noisily, I suppose for my benefit. He was leaned back, eyes shut. He muttered “Damn girl…”

I heard her slurping wetly, could hear the sound of her hand working her spit on him as it ran up over his head, then down the length of his shaft. He began to moan steadily and I wondered if she’d bring him off right in the car. Instead she stopped him abruptly as she’d done so many times to me.

I glanced back, her face was in the mirror again, watching me. There was some motion, and I guessed she continued to stroke his shaft lightly. I stopped at a stoplight, then felt her lips behind my ear.

“Kiss me, Jim.”

I turned as much as I could. She leaned over, pushed her tongue in to my mouth, kissed me until someone beeped at us from behind.

I was in a daze, drove hurriedly toward the hotel as sex sounds continued to come from the back seat. She’d dropped from sight in the rear view. He was leaning toward her side, and he was rocking a bit. From the sounds, he was finger-fucking her. She propped one high heel on the seat back, confirming my suspicions. She was drenched from the sound of it, his fingers sloshed in her juices. She cried out as she came.

I pulled in to the hotel, bouncing the right rear tire over the curb and drawing a surprised laugh from the back seat.

I headed for the parking lot but Rachel sat up, put a hand on my shoulder and said “Drop us in the front baby.”

I pulled around to the front, fighting with the mix of emotions I was feeling. I didn’t much like playing chauffeur, yet my cock strained against my jeans.

Chris stepped out. Rachel leaned over the seat. “Hey…” she said.

My eyes found hers in the mirror.

“Come straight up…k?”

I nodded. Part of me felt like driving home, not sure I wanted to see anymore.

She squeezed my shoulder. “You’re gonna love this Jim…trust me. Come straight up.” She kissed my neck and then climbed out.

I parked, shut the car off. I was shaking slightly. Stepping out of the car, I realized I didn’t know what room she was in, didn’t have a card key. Did she forget? Or was this some sort of controlling trick? My eye caught a flash of white in the back seat. The small white envelope from her purse with the room number, one plastic card sticking out the end. I opened the door, leaned in, and smelled her scent there. She’d put it next to a small wet spot left as he’d finger fucked her. Nice touch.

It felt as if I was walking through molasses as I headed for the room. It seemed everyone was looking at me as I walked through the lobby to the elevators. A couple stepped off, laughing, as I stepped on the elevator, and it seemed they knew what was going on and were laughing at me. I stepped slowly down the corridor, paused at the door, listened, but no sound emerged. I put the key in the slot, hesitated, knocked.

After a few seconds, I heard Ginger say “C'mon in babe.” And I opened the door.

Typical room set up. There were 2 Queen beds. They stood at the foot of the far bed, kissing hungrily. His large hands were all over her. She pulled away from the kiss, turned her head to look at me as he continued kissing her face and neck. She let her head slide back, exposing her neck to him, eyes on me the entire time.

“Have a seat babe.” she directed.

Beyond them was a chair and ottoman plus a desk with another chair, but it was a tight squeeze past them. I sat on the other bed.

“Huh-uh…over there.” as she tipped her head toward the chair.

I moved past them, and she let a hand brush my side affectionately as I did, then resumed kissing him.

He untied the strap behind her neck and pushed the dress down, exposing her breasts. She looked at me again as his mouth engulfed one of her swollen nipples. I was rubbing my cock absently through my jeans.

Pulling his head up, she slid down and sat on the bed, began working his pants open again. She glanced over at me, grabbed at the hotel comforter with her free hand. I stood, pulled back the comforter to expose the crisp white sheets. We’d each seen enough porn on top of hotel comforters, and not knowing how often they were washed, we both preferred to leave them on the floor. She lifted her ass slightly as I pulled it off the far side of the bed for her.

I sat back down. He pulled his shirt off. Definitely a better body than me, no question there.

She released his cock, taking it easily in to her mouth. He stepped awkwardly out of his pants, shorts, and shoes, resting a hand on her shoulder. She began to suck on him in more earnest, but it became clear he had other intentions.

He pushed her back on the bed. She bounced on to her back, a surprised giggle escaping. He pushed her dress gruffly up so that the whole thing was bunched around her waist. He tugged at her panties, throwing them toward me after working them over her shoes. I noticed the wet spot on them as they landed in a heap near my foot. He knee-walked between her legs. At my viewing angle, with the back light of a bedside lamp, I got my first unencumbered look at his cock.

Not enormous, but certainly bigger than mine in both length and girth. What really caught my attention was the slight upward curve at the tip. Surely she knew what that curve meant for her. She moaned in anticipation.

He settled himself between her legs and pushed his hips forward. This was another moment I’d imagined hundreds of times…seeing another man’s cock penetrate my wife for the first time. This was going pretty much how I’d always imagined.

He paused. Rachel, staring between her legs, beckoned for me with her hand. I stood, stepped to the bed. She took my hand, looked at me, then back at him as he pushed it all the way inside her. My moan was drowned completely by her lustful cry. He began pumping in and out of her. She was soaked, and his shaft shined with her juices. After his third thrust, the curved tip came fully in to play. She gripped my hand tighter, and I felt her nails dig in to my flesh.

She looked up at me as he sank in for another thrust. “Baby…..” she whispered. Then her eyes rolled shut.

Chris increased the pace. His balls slapped her bare ass. I saw something splash on to his groin, leaned closer. As he drew back, another small burst of Rachel’s juices splashed against his skin. He thrust forward again. As he found bottom, her hips thrust upward, following his upstroke. Her hand flew from mine and gripped the bed, her other hand pushed against his stomach. His cock slid from her and she screamed as her juices erupted, squirting out of her, first splashing on to him, then the bed.

The now-familiar mix of emotions washed over me. I’d never made Rachel squirt while fucking her. As far as I knew, no one had. This guy had made it happen in under 45 seconds.

Her eyes fluttered open and found mine, then closed involuntarily as he re-entered her. She was still convulsing slightly, still wrapped in her orgasm. He didn’t seem to care, picking up where he’d left off, fucking her straight through it. I took her hand again, felt the pleasant bite of her nails as his thrusts intensified. I stood there watching and listening as my wife enjoyed what appeared to be the fucking of her life.

After pounding her relentlessly from his knees for a good minute or so, he settled on to her, and I watched. With each upstroke, I could see his thick cock splitting her soft pink lips in two.

The slower pace and his changed angle of entry allowed her to catch her breath a bit. She watched me watching them for a bit, squeezing my hand, whispering filthiness to him for my benefit.

“Mmm…fuck me….yes…fuck my wet pussy….oh god…GOD I love your big cock in me…”

She pulled him down to her with her free hand, and they made out while he pushed in and out of her. After a bit, she pushed him back. He raised up on straightened arms, continued to fuck her. She squeezed my hand, tugged on it, drawing me to her. I sat on the bed, leaned in, and kissed her deeply.

I will say now that the hottest, most incredible turn-on I have experienced, ever, is kissing my wife while another man fucks her. I have always loved kissing while having sex, but this takes it to an entirely new level. She moaned breathlessly as we kissed, none of it under my control, all at the whim of his thrusts. She’d push her tongue in to my mouth, our lips locked, and then gasp as his dick found a special spot inside her. Amazing.

Whether he was incensed at the attention she paid me, or his heart rate had recovered enough for another sprint, he began thrusting harder after we’d kissed a while. I pulled back, still sitting there, pushed a few sweat-dampened wisps of hair from her face. He pulled her legs over his shoulders, held her ankles. After a few thrusts, she looked at me, then at him….

“Fuck…fuck….coming again…gonna cum again…” she panted. And then she did, a hard convulsion, hips thrusting up toward him, coupled with a throaty half-scream whose pitch varied as her body shook. I hadn’t heard it from her before.

He pushed her legs toward me, putting her on her side, continued a few strokes that way as she came down again. When she stopped shaking, he paused, maneuvered her on to her stomach, pressed between her legs, and pushed in to her from behind.

“Oh god…oh god…oh god…” she murmured as he navigated through it, anticipating what was next.

I took her hand again as he began fucking her from behind. She buried her face in the pillow. I watched her free hand scrabble for purchase, clawing haplessly at the tight fitted sheet, finally finding a free pillow and bunching it in her hand.

He grabbed her shoulders with his hands, so hot, pulling her face from the pillows, forcing her back as he thrust forward. She cried out with each thrust. I tried holding on to her hand, but she was beyond that, shaking free from me, waving me away so she could find the edge of the bed to grip.

Unsure what to do, I retreated to the chair and watched them fuck. She seemed to have completely forgotten about me now. He went at her for a good while. It seemed longer than it was, sitting there watching makes it like that. All told, he fucked her for about 30 minutes. I was impressed with his stamina. Rachel did some things that would have made me cum instantly as they went at it, but he’d just slow his pace, get control of himself, then start pounding her again.

One of her shoes came off her foot along the way, shaken loose by his thrusts, and swung wildly from the straps. I watched her flail at it with one hand, Chris refusing to break his pace. I stood, unstrapped it and let it fall to the floor, then walked around and untied the other one. She didn’t even acknowledge that I’d done it, she was lost in the moment. I found that to be really hot for some reason that I can’t explain.

A little later, her ass in the air, face in the pillows,him propped straight-armed over her again, cock pistoning in and out of her, I’d thought she was screaming in pain, thought maybe he was hurting her. I stood, began approaching the bed, but she’d turned her face from the pillows then, and I heard the words accompanying the screams.

“fuck yes…” over and over again in a string..more like “fuckyesfuckyesfuckyesfuckyes…”

I sat back down.

His climax was somewhat anti-climactic, at least for me. Rachel had been reduced to a quivering mass beneath him. His strokes slowed, increased in length so that his entire cock would appear, then sink back in to her. At the bottom of one of these strokes he groaned loudly, stayed inside her, and pumped in his thick seed.

She responded…“ahhh…ahhhh…ahhhhh…”.

From where I sat I had a good angle as he withdrew, watched his slick shaft slide out of her. The head brushed against the inside of her thigh, leaving a smeared drop of thick cream on her. He’d pumped his load deep however, so that while Rachel’s slit glistened, none of his cum was yet evident.

He collapsed next to her. She turned her head toward the side I was sitting on, breathing deeply. Her eyes opened sleepily. She smiled at me, lifted a hand, beckoned for me. I sat next to her on the bed, wondering if she’d ask me to lick her while he was still here, not sure what was in store.

“Get me a bottle of water, baby?” she asked.

Not what I was expecting. I mean, sure, I could understand that she’d worked up a thirst, but really? I squashed my disappointment, nodded and adjusted my hard-on as I headed out of the room.

There was a vending machine on the floor, but I had no singles on me. In the hotel lobby, there were no water bottles in the little bodega next to the desk and the clerk claimed to have no singles to spare. Great. My only solace as I headed outside was that Chris would probably be gone by the time I got back.

I walked to a convenience store a couple of blocks down, grabbed a 6-pack of waters from the cooler, figuring I’d try to make her thirsty again while working up my own thirst, and headed back. My excitement built as I walked down the corridor to the room. I didn’t bother to knock this time, assuming he’d be gone.

I walked in to find him sprawled back on the pillows, hands behind his head. Rachel was next to him, legs alongside his, bent at her waist so her torso and one arm lay across his stomach. His cock was in her mouth. She pulled slowly on it, left hand following her lips up the shaft lazily. It looked to be about 2/3 hard again. Her eyes were open, watching me. She continued on it a few more strokes, then seemed to reluctantly let it slide from her mouth.

She nodded toward the water in my hand. I put it on the dresser, pulled a bottle free, cracked the top off it, placed it in the hand that had just been wrapped around his cock.

“Thank you, baby.” she said, then handed the water up to him. She held out her hand for another. This was starting to get to me.

I cracked open another and handed it to her, simultaneously glad and pissed off that I’d bought the 6-pack.

“That took you a while.” she commented.

I didn’t answer, and suppose my lousy poker face betrayed me again.

She watched me, took a long pull on the water, let out a little “ahhhh…”, then another long pull, smacking her lips afterward.

Despite my anger, disappointment, frustration, whatever it was, I felt my cock swelling. His cock, now semi-flacid, was only inches from her face.

She saw me looking at his cock, a devilish glint stole through her eyes, and she suddenly wrapped her lips around the head. He jumped, cried out, her lips cold from the water she’d just drank. She laughed, patted his thigh.

“Be right back, Chris…don’t move…” she said to him, then stood.

Her dress, still hanging loosely around her waist, fell to her ankles and she stepped out of it.

“C'mere.” she said to me as she walked past and stepped in to the bathroom. I joined her.

“You’re mad. What’s up?” she asked.

I looked at the floor. “I’m not mad…” I started.

“This isn’t a time for lies, Jim. You are mad, so tell me what’s going on. Please?”

I couldn’t look at her.

“Didn’t you like it?” she asked.

I took a deep breath. “I did babe…really, I did. I just thought…I thought he’d be gone.”

“Mmmmmm…” she said. “Will you look at me, Jim?”

I did.

“I’m not trying to hurt you or make you feel bad, OK? Do you trust me on that?”

I nodded.

“But I want him again. He was….what he just did to me…”

She was at a loss for words. I couldn’t help but smile.

She smiled shyly back, her turn to look down. “What?” she asked.

“I uhhh, I kind of get it.” I said. “I just expected he’d be gone and I’d get you now.”

She looked at me, stepped to me. I kissed her, pushed her back against the wall.

“It’s OK then?” she asked.

I nodded.

“You want a little taste to hold you?”

I moaned, started to sink to my knees, but she stopped me.

“Huh uh…later for that.”

She put her hand on her stomach, used her free hand to press mine over it, then slid it down between her legs. I pressed her middle finger in to her slit. It was slippery, and my cock bounced again in my pants.

Pulling it out, she locked her eyes on mine and held her finger up. It glistened with a viscous off-white cream. She let it glide over her lips, coating them. I leaned in, ran my tongue over them, then pushed it in to her mouth to share it. She shivered.

“I’m gonna get back in there…come on and watch again, k?”

I felt a little awkward stepping back in to the room, but neither of them was paying me any attention. Rachel was already back on the bed, on her knees and bent at the waist, his thickening cock back between her lips. He was watching her, playing with her white-blonde hair as he did. Her ass was in the air toward me and I could see her slit glistening, a hint of white at the top. I leaned back against the wall to watch.

Once she’d worked him fully hard, she straightened up and swung a leg over him, turning herself to face me. She saw me watching, smiled at me.

“Hey baby…”

I nodded a hello. She beckoned me with her head, her best come-hither move. I walked to the bed and she pulled me in to a deep tongue kiss. One hand was wrapped around his cock, and she guided it to her slit as we kissed. Her breath caught mid-kiss as she slid down on to him, and she breathed out a moan in to my mouth as she sank all the way down. She began to ride him, still kissing me. It felt amazing. I let my hand touch her stomach, slide down, and pressed a finger against her clit. She pulled back from me, eying me.

“Oh yesssss..fuck yes Jim… that…yessss baby.”

She steadied herself with a hand on my shoulder, watched me as I looked down, trying to catch a glimpse of his cock pushing inside her. The angle was wrong. I couldn’t see much, but it was enough to see how her juices coated his thick cock.

“You like that?” she asked. I nodded. “You do…of course you do…you like watching me fuck…hear that Chris? He likes how you fuck me….”

Chris responded with a grunt, then began to thrust his hips upward as Rachel sank down on him. She responded, a guttural moan as her head lolled back. I picked up the pace on her clit, leaned in to kiss her neck, tasting dried sweat on her skin.

“Mmmmm…you like that…you like kissing on me while I’m getting fucked…” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. I moaned against her skin. She rewarded me with another deep tongue kiss.

I felt her tensing, his thrusts combined with pressure on her clit. We both picked up the pace on her, and she exploded in orgasm on his cock, shuddering and rocking on him.

Chris took advantage to seize control, deftly pulling his legs up between hers, pushing her down on her stomach, then sliding between her legs. His cock again pushed in to her from behind before she could recover. I was left standing too close to the bed, so retreated to the chair to watch again.

This time it didn’t last as long, thankfully, although much of the rest matched their earlier fuck. Chris pounded in to her. Rachel’s fingers scrabbled for purchase on the bed, finally gripping the edge at the foot of it. She screamed in to the mattress. He came in her again, a shuddering deep thrust, keeping himself buried in her until he was drained.

I wondered briefly what was next, anxious to be alone with my freshly-fucked wife. I didn’t have to wonder long. Chris withdrew, stood and began to gather his clothes. He dressed silently as I looked at Rachel breathing raspily, trying to catch her breath as she sprawled on the bed. She hadn’t looked up yet.

Dressed now, Chris touched her bare back, said “I’ll see you Rachel..” then headed for the door.

I stood and stepped to the bed. Her head was turned to one side, flat on the bed. She opened one eye, a small smile spread across her mouth.

“Why don’t you get undressed babe.”

I did, self-conscious as my cock sprang in to the air, the difference in size obvious to me.

“Mmmmm…” she said. Then, “Is this what you want? This how you want me?”

“You know it is.” I replied, stroking her back softly. My fingers trembled.

“It is? Used? Fresh-fucked?”

She said that last bit slowly, intentionally. I could only moan and nod in reply.

Her legs parted slightly. “You want to clean me up, baby?”

“God yes, babe!.”

“Mmmmm…go on then…I’m just gonna lay here and recover for a bit…”

I slid down next to her. She smelled like a slut, and I breathed her in deeply.

“Did he fuck you good, baby?” I ventured as I began kissing her soft shoulders, working my way slowly down her back.

“Ohhhhh, he fucked me SO good. So so good.”

I made my way to the small of her back, and she sighed softly as I kissed and licked at her skin.

“You liked watching him fuck me babe?”

I paused, kissed her softly before answering. “It was hard Rachel. Hard to watch.”

“But you liked it, didn’t you? I saw you watching…”

“I did baby…I liked seeing him make you feel good…fucking you hard… Making you cum and watching him cum in your pussy….knowing i would be tasting him later!

"Mmmm…and he did Jim…he made me feel so good…so fucking good…and he filled my dirty pussy with his cum…twice!”

I’d made my way over her ass, and despite the awkward angle had my tongue ready to light on her slit as she said that last sentence. I pushed it in deeply as she finished saying “good”, pleased to hear her gasp as my tongue snaked in to her.

His cum must have been deep, and her position on her stomach had not let much of it come forward. My tongue felt like I’d submerged it in a pool, she was such a wet, sloppy mess inside. I made short rapid thrusts with it, lapping at it, tasting their combined juices. It was loud, like a dog lapping at water. She began to moan.

“Oh….ohhhhhh fuck yes…clean me up…clean up my dirty pussy…”

She squirmed beneath me, pushing her ass toward my face. I continued to lap at it.

“Fuck fuck fuck…I gotta watch it baby…help me up…”

Reluctantly I got to my knees, turned her on to her side, then pulled her to kneel with me. She looked at me, kissed my wet lips, licked some of it from my chin, then pulled back, shaking her head slowly.

“You dirty fuck…you are such a dirty cuck…..clean me up…” as she pushed down on my shoulders.

I slid flat on my back and she mounted my face. She leaned forward, gripping the headboard for balance. Her thighs quivered beside my head, still shaky from the fucking Chris had given her. I looked up and saw her staring down at me. Her stomach relaxed, she’d been holding herself closed. Two fat drops of the slutty mixture inside her splashed on to my face.

She groaned, shifted her slit over my mouth. I opened it, lifted my head as a small thick stream began to empty in to it. There was a lot. I pressed my mouth to her, but she pulled back, wanting to watch it flow from her in to my mouth. His first load must have broken down and mixed with her own juices, then been topped with his second. It was both watery and thick in my mouth. My cock was throbbing. Rachel talked like a filthy slut above me as she watched. She lowered her slit as the flow ebbed to drips, grinding herself on to my face. She came quickly, I felt another small trickle of her juices and drank them down as she relaxed against the headboard, breathing hard.

She tried lifting one leg over me, but couldn’t find the strength…her leg muscles were really shot. Giving up, she instead slid herself down on top of me, stopping as my cock pressed between her legs. She kissed me, licking my lips, pushing her tongue in to my mouth, moaning softly.

I pushed from one side, rolling so that she was beneath me. She giggled softly, holding on to my back as she looked in to my eyes.

“You gonna fuck me now Jim?”

I could only manage a low growl as I gripped my shaft and guided it to her slit. It slid in easily, barely any friction at all. I wondered if she even felt it, but she sighed, pressed her hands on to my back.

“Mmmmmm…you fill me up so nice Jim…” she sighed.

I fight a terrible battle with myself, even then wanting to believe her but wondering in my mind whether she was just saying it to be nice. I was determined to get her off again, so put the thought out of my mind, however.

I lifted my right leg and pulled her left leg inside of it, then did the same on the other side, so that her legs were together beneath me and I could press them tighter with mine. Her eyes shined at me, I’d done this a few times before and she knew what was next. I shifted myself slightly higher, so that my cock pressed over her clit with each stroke.

“Oh….oh Jim…that’s so good…yes baby…right on my clit…yesssssss…”

I pressed her legs tight, creating friction where there had been none, and picked up my pace. The sounds of her wetness, her sloppiness, were clear as I began to fuck her in earnest.

She looked at me, started to talk, I thought to taunt me playfully as she’d done in the past, but it instead took a new turn that, at the time, excited me.

“Just how you like it, isn’t baby? Mmmm hmmm…I know…I know you love it…used up and sloppy…you do love it, don’t you? Love it when I fuck other guys…don’t you Jim?”

I nodded struggling to control myself.

“Say it baby…tell me you want me to fuck them.”

I looked at her. “I do Rachel. I love when you do it.”

“I feel like such a slut when I do it Jim…I feel so bad…but I love it…oh god…like that baby…I love doing it…”

I just nodded at her, concentrating on not cumming too soon.

“You want me to stop, Jim? Do you want me to stop fucking other guys?” she panted breathlessly, fighting back her own orgasm as I continued to press against her clit.

I shook my head, losing control. “No” was all I could manage.

What she said next got a little lost in the moment, but I thought a lot about it over the next couple of weeks.

She was nodding her head…“K….‘cause I don’t think I can baby…can’t stop fucking them…can’t stop…cumming…cumming baby…Jim…fill me up again baby…fill me up….”

I groaned, thrust hard and emptied what felt like a gallon inside her. Hours of watching her dancing, making out, and fucking all pent up inside me, now emptying in to her.

state of grace is a fucking undervalued song like FIRST of all….. the drums…………… the guitar in the beginning…… she’s painting a picture, a mood and she hasn’t even started SINGING yet like tell me that the beginning instrumentals of the song doesn’t just awaken a feeling deep inside you…. TELL ME….. and then the lyrics god damn i could go on forever “i’m walking fast through the traffic lights, busy streets and busy lives and all we know is touch and go” “we are alone with our changing minds, we fall in love till it hurts or bleeds or fades in time” “we are alone just you and me, up in your room and our slates are clean, just twin fire signs, four blue eyes” “so you were never a saint and i’ve loved in shades of wrong, we learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts, but this love is brave AAAND wiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiiIIIIILLLLLLLDDDDDD” like tell me that that line, the way it crescendos, doesn’t make you fall out of your chair every damn time because im literally DECEASED and then the background vocals during the chorus the “oh oh, oh oh ohwoahohohoh” you know what the fuck im talking about and then…… the softness……. the change of pace…. “this is a state of grace….. this is the worthwhile.. fight….. love is a ruthless gaaAame unless you play it good and right…. these are the hands of faaaaaaaAAAAte…. you’re my achilles heeeEEel…… this is the golden age of something good and right and…. real” and then it gets even SOFTER and you can feel taylor’s emotion through the words and she’s like “and i never….. saw you comiiiiiiiiIIiiIiiiiiiIIIIIIIIiiing…..” and then the guitar COMES THE HELL BACK AND THE DRUMS AND THEN ITS ALMOST CARTHATIC AND “I’LL NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (BUH BUH BUH BUH BUH BUH BUH) BE THE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAAaAAaAAAAME OOOOOOOOHWOAAAAHHHHH” like listen to that song and tell me that it isn’t one of the god damn most releasing songs in the world, that it doesn’t make you feel FREE at the end, that it doesn’t fucking MOVE you

shel silverstein quotes for the signs
  • aries: now i lay me down to sleep, i pray the lord my soul to keep, and if i die before i wake, i pray the lord my toys to break. so none of the other kids can use 'em. amen
  • taurus: oh, if you’re a bird, be an early bird and catch the worm for your breakfast plate. if you’re a bird, be an early bird— but if you’re a worm, sleep late.
  • gemini: do a loony-goony dance 'cross the kitchen floor, put something silly in the world that ain't been there before!
  • cancer: i'll take the dream i had last night and put it in my freezer, so someday long and far away when I’m an old grey geezer, i’ll take it out and thaw it out, this lovely dream i’ve frozen, and boil it up and sit me down and dip my old cold toes in.
  • leo: listen to the mustn'ts, child. listen to the don'ts. listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...anything can happen, child. anything can be!
  • virgo: if we had hinges on our heads there wouldn't be no sin, 'cause we'd take the bad stuff out and leave the good stuff in.
  • libra: i will not play tug o' war, i'd rather play at hug o' war, where everyone hugs instead of tugs, where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, where everyone kisses and everyone grins and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins!
  • scorpio: she drank from a bottle called DRINK ME and she grew so tall, she ate from a plate called TASTE ME and down she shrank so small. and so she changed, while other folks never tried nothin’ at all!
  • sagittarius: how many slams in an old screen door? depends how loud you shut it. how many slices in a bread? depends how thin you cut it. how much good inside a day? depends how good you live 'em. how much love inside a friend? depends how much you give 'em!
  • capricorn: when the light turns green, you go. when the light turns red, you stop. but what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?
  • aquarius: there is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long, 'i feel this is right for me, i know that this is wrong.' no teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide what's right for you; just listen to the voice that speaks inside!
  • pisces: my skin is kind of sort of brownish pinkish yellowish white. my eyes are greyish blueish green, but i'm told they look orange in the night. my hair is reddish blondish brown, but its silver when its wet, and all the colors i am inside have not been invented yet!

Summary: You were invited to a very exclusive private party with the intention of meeting people to help you advance professionally. A fateful meeting changes everything.

Warnings: Bit of fluff at the beginning, but so much pain at the end. I’m so sorry.

A/n: This is my entry, albeit late, for @sanjariti‘s Game of Prompts. My prompt is the song Alone by Halsey. This story turned out completely different than what I originally planned, but apparently, I’m good at writing angst and pain so here we are.

I stood on the balcony, resting against the handrail. Cold air making my hair fly behind me, and the drink in my hand feeling like fire as it went down my throat. The horizon looked like nothing more than a pale blue light against the darkness.

Chatter behind me, as lively as when I arrived, snapped me from my daze. The party of the month happening mere feet from where I was standing. I had received the invitation in my email by my boss saying that I should “take a break once in awhile. It would be good for you to go, there might be important people there”. Networking, go figure.

I decided to go back inside and socialize for a little longer before calling for a taxi. While walking around I saw a couple of people from work, and others from other shows and movies from the same lot. Some with whom I’ve worked with before, and others that I only knew by name and social media.

I was half way through my last drink when a hand fell on my shoulder.

“(Y/n)?” A familiar voice rang behind me, and I turned on the spot recognizing it almost immediately, “Hey sweetheart, it’s been so long!”

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There’s this place inside of me-

a place I think that everybody has that they keep to themselves.

A fortress.

The most private part of their lives,

Because it’s your soul.

The part that makes you yourself and not anybody else.

I feel like, my fortress has been blown apart.

The sudden exposure- RIGHT in the OPEN.




To hide under a single blade of grass.

How pitiful -

How beautiful…-

How is it I’ve never seen this before;

All nothing, compared to clear, blue, intimate skies.

But I am nothing.

I am no bigger than a blade of grass…

The sky is so big.

Trees, please.

I’m so lonely.

I feel like every flower I smell,

Is my last flower-

Every kiss…

Do you remember when I told you I was lost?

“…you were trying to hide under a blade of grass.”

How did you survive so long down there?

I survived…because I wasn’t alone.”

Drunk Toni says suffer with me ;

The Hottie Next Door Part Two

Characters : Chris Evans x Reader

Summary : Chris moves in next door. Only thing is, he isn’t alone. *based off my out of bounds series*

Warning : Language?

Word Count : 2K+

A/N : By the way, the reader is in her third year of college! lol. Also, if you’d like to be tagged, let me know! Updates will be EVERY Wednesday or Thursday.

Tagging : @imaginesofdreams @deansimpalaqueen@chrisevansisdaddy04​ @almundbuttercup @sailorchibimoonunicorn@mybucky-yourbucky@theresnotenoughwords​ @hollycornish

Read Part One Here

It’s been a few months since you met the Chris and Jenny, and between all the small chats and neighborhood parties, you grew to like them more and more everyday.

Jenny was pretty amazing, as much as you envied her relationship with Chris, you just couldn’t hate her.

Then there was Chris. He was everything you could ever dream of. He was sweet and caring and all together hilarious. No matter what, he could always make you laugh and smile.

It was hard to hate them. Not that you wanted too, anyways.

Tonight, you were asked to dog sit for them, while they went to a premiere for Chris’ new movie.

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[A/N: I heard today’s topic was ‘blue’, and I couldn’t resist. This is really short, but I thought you all deserved something while I attempt to rewrite the prompts/updates I lost.]


Blue, the color of the oceans. Blue, the color of a clear sky on a summer day. Blue, the color of Lance’s Lion. Blue, the color of Lance’s eyes. Blue was an important color to Lance - as a child, his mother called him her ’precious blue baby,’ because of his blue, blue eyes. To Lance, blue was home. Earth was known as the blue planet, a place where water dominated the planet. When someone was sad, it’s said they’re feeling blue. Lance was blue a lot. Mostly because he missed home - his beautiful blue home planet. When he was feeling blue, he talked to Hunk or Pidge because they, too, felt blue sometimes.

Today was one of those days that Lance felt blue - every shade of blue. When he felt blue, his eyes were a dark blue, he’s been told. After he’s cried, his eyes turn greyish blue. When he’s happy, his eyes are the brightest shade of blue, his mother used to tell him. Right now, his eyes were dark blue. At least, he thought they would be if he looked at them. Finding Hunk and Pidge was easy today - they were working on a project in Yellow’s hangar. “Hunk? Pidge?” Hunk turned to him, and immediately knew that Lance was feeling blue. Blue, the color of the oceans on Earth. Blue, the color of a clear sky on a summer day. Lance felt like thunderstorms were clouding his blue skies.

Hunk and Pidge walked over to Lance, and embraced him. “What’s wrong, Lance?” Pidge asked, her voice quiet, muffled against the fabric of his jacket. She had decided Lance was going to be her brother - not just until Matt was found, but after that too. Lance needed a little sister, and Pidge needed an older brother. “Why are you feeling blue?”

Lance’s heart swelled as he was embraced by his two best friends. “I miss Earth, Pidgeon. I miss the blue oceans, and the blue skies, and my mothers eyes. She had the prettiest blue eyes, Pidgeon.”

“I know, Lance,” Pidge murmured, leading them to the ground while keeping Lance embraced in her and Hunk’s arms.

“Let’s take a break, okay?” Hunk murmured to Lance, referring to being Paladins. “They can survive one day without the three of us. Let’s go take a break after this.”

Lance nodded, hoping the others would understand. Sometimes Lance needed a break - not a real one, but a mental one. Not for a long time, just for a few hours, up to a day. Feeling blue exhausted Lance, so he tried not to feel blue very often. “Okay. Thank you.” He murmured, and then let himself sink into the comfort of his friends as his thoughts wandered. Just because he felt blue, doesn’t mean that things were blue. He was generally happy - what color describes happy? Yellow. Hunk was yellow. Hunk made Lance feel yellow. So did Pidge. Together, he and Hunk made green. Which was Pidge. Green was in between Blue and Yellow, which meant that Pidge was between Hunk and Lance, which made Lance feel yellow.

“Can we go to Blue?” Lance asked, suddenly remembering his giant blue cat. With noises of agreement, the trio headed towards Blue’s hangar. Blue let them inside easily, and Lance was immediately filled with comforting purrs from his Blue. Blue made him happy.

“Tell me about your family, Lance,” Pidge asked, she loved hearing stories about Lance’s family. They were so lively compared to the family they had grown to be in space - which was saying a lot.

Lance launched into a story about the time his sisters had kidnapped him and forced him to put on make up and dresses. With the help of Blue, Hunk, and Pidge, Lance was feeling less blue, and more yellow. Soon, he’d be able to face the universe again, but for now, he was happy and content - yellow and… green.. - to relax inside of Blue, with Hunk and Pidge.

The Hills - Chapter One

Story Masterlist

This is the first part of my first multi-chaptered story, I’m already working on part two and there might be more. Please let me know what you guys think. I tagged my forevers plus the people who asked to be tagged in this story, but if you want to be on or off my tag list, just say the word!! xoxo

Synopsis: AU in which Negan is a celebrity living a life of scandals in a lavish mansion in California. A young reporter on a mission to dig up dirt on him realizes the man the tabloids like to portray as a self-centered asshole has a hidden softer side.

WC: 3265

Warnings: strong language, alcohol, mention of violence, mention of drug abuse, nsfw.

Chapter One: No Ordinary Life

I watched the sunrise through the window as I took a sip of green tea from my mug. Perched on a stool in the kitchen with my laptop on my legs, I was scrolling down the articles of The Celebrity Times when a title caught my attention.

The headline, in bold red font, said, “OOPS, NEGAN DID IT AGAIN!”

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Lipstick Stains On Your Heart

(my first shallura fic~ i feel like i probably flubbed some stuff here, but i really wanted to post something so pls bear with me. i’m also fairly bad at titles soooo sorry for that too.)


In another life, Shiro thinks, this would be a quiet Sunday morning. The window would be open, the sky would be clear and blue, and Allura would be settled at her vanity across the room, doing what she is now.

But he lives in the reality he does, which means he’s inside of a castle that’s also a space ship, he’s one of the leaders of the universe’s greatest hope, and he’s inside the bedroom of the princess of a lost planet.

Still, the moment is terribly domestic. 

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Small considerations between partners - 8 ‘Playing with fire’

PLAYING WITH FIRE - Season seven. A few weeks post ‘All Things’ Mulder POV

It’s funny  how we can see a person every day and not truly know what’s going on with them. We can walk side by side for month upon endless month sharing space and time as we laugh together, cry together, and eat lunch together.  We can go for the occasional beer together to help wipe away the rigours of another day and sometimes, if we are extraordinarily lucky, we are able look into the face of that same person both last thing at night and first thing in the morning.

But despite all this, we don’t always see the bigger picture. 

Especially when the person is so damn adept at hiding things and especially when that person is Scully.

She’s always hidden things from me of course,  I accepted that as being a part of her complex personality a very long time ago – especially since I suspect that she learned much of the evasion technique from me.

Oh yes.  Team Spooky are very adept at hiding our true feelings as we barricade ourselves behind walls of our own making.

It’s just how things are.

But occasionally, the walls crumble just a little, widening a miniscule crack in the bricks and mortar which enables me to catch a glimpse of Scully’s innermost thoughts; her hopes; her fears.  

Just like I did earlier today.

Right now I’m lying on my back, staring at the patterns that the trees outside throw on the ceiling above, carefully not moving too much lest I disturb the woman who is sleeping beside me, clinging to me with hands that haven’t relaxed their hold on me even when she finally closed her eyes.  She hasn’t been asleep for very long and I know that sleep was a hard fought battle for her tonight, but I knew enough not to question her right then.  Instead I emotionally backed right off and swallowed down my concerns, feigning sleep so she was able to finally press her body against me and really, it was the only thing I could think to do.  Because, as the shadows lengthened on the ceiling, I kept turning my head to check she was ok.  And each time,  despite her best efforts, I caught a glimpse of those china blue eyes staring back at me before she slammed them shut.

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White Widow - Part 3

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 (Smut)| PART 10 (Final)

Character Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: When the reader loses her fiance to Hydra, she is sent to the Avengers compound for her protection. Forced to share the guest house with the famous assassin, the Winter Soldier, she must learn to cope with her loss and her new roommate. All this, while trying to solve the mystery of why Hydra is now hunting her.

Warnings: Getting a little fluffy, Bucky with a gun

Characters this chapter: Bucky Barnes

It was two whole weeks later when he finally spoke to me again.

The nightmares hadn’t stopped. If anything they’d gotten worse.

One night, amidst my thrashing and crying, I must have screamed out. I shot out of bed, not yet realizing the scream I’d heard had come from me.

Just as I processed what happened, my door swung open.

Bucky appeared, pointing a handgun right at my face.

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anonymous asked:

Had Gaston not interfered, Belle would have come through that open door Adam was waiting by in that lonely tower. So, how about an AU where Belle reaches the Beast before Gaston?

A/N: Thanks for the prompt, Anon. My interpretation of Gaston “not interfering” is that he does not lock up Maurice in the first place, and thus Beast lets Belle go on his own. So with that premise in mind, I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 2.5k
Also available: on AO3 


In the comfortable stillness of the cottage, Belle watches her father dutifully construct another music box. She’s seen him make dozens of these little instruments before, but tonight she can’t seem to tear her gaze away from his delicate and decorative handiwork.

“You’re awfully quiet this evening,” her father comments.

But Belle remains so enraptured in his work and in her own thoughts that she doesn’t respond.

With practiced, meticulous hands Maurice slides the two small figurines he’s been patiently shaping towards each other, to the very heart of the music box, until their extended little hands are clasped together. Unannounced, her heart begins to beat wildly; she gasps softly, when at last she realizes what he’s doing. The figures are dancing.

Though still unpainted, Belle can well imagine the slightly taller and broader figure leading the smaller figure–the woman–with her long skirt flowing like a waterfall, as she spins around the dance floor her father has created.

“Now then. Any color preference as to the lady’s gown?”

Yellow, her heart cries. But she just whispers solemnly, “Anything you want, Papa.”

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i. sometimes when it’s late and no one’s around, it gets real quiet in my head and all i feel is fire rising from my stomach up my throat. i give myself third degree burns from pursing my lips shut to stop the flames from spilling out of my mouth.

ii. no one knows who invented the fire hydrant because its patent was destroyed in a fire. i tried to save my body before it disappeared in smoke and my presence was forever erased from your memory, but this isn’t something i can run from; this is something that lives inside of me.

iii. i imagine you in the burning building with me. i imagine pulling you closer until your veins turn golden yellow, until your skin turns blue. i want you to know how it feels to be on fire. i want you to know how it feels to be with you.

iv. i start writing people novels about the times i reached out to them when they surrendered to the wreckage. i start writing people novels about how it felt when they walked out on me when i was shaking and crying and having panic attacks on the floor. somehow, i’m still to blame. somehow, i’m still the one who’s crazy.

v. you did this and i have to live with the consequences. you planted a fire in me, but it’s me who has to be careful not to burn buildings down with only my mouth. it’s me who will end up burning to the ground.

—  “are you mad at me?” “i don’t know, the anger never leaves.”

something happens
when you hit forty-
at least it did for me.
i realized i stopped flirting.
i’ve seen older women flirt
and it’s not pretty.
it’s like they don’t realize
the cute twenty-something waiter
has options
a middle-aged woman
and it always looks a tad pathetic.
i’m careful at bars, too
because you add alcohol
into the over-forty-flirt-mix
and it just gets tragic.
so today
some guy at a department store
asked me to help him decide
on some shirts—you know, colors—
the gray one, the blue and yellow one…
he was probably my age
grey eyes
nice smile
and i found myself
taking out that flirty part.
it took a second to get it warmed up
and it felt a little awkward
trying it on
but once i got it out
it felt really good.
i became aware of my eyes
and smile again
aware of living inside
this body of mine
and feeling like an autonomous
sexual being-
a separate sexual energy
not involving my husband.
the guy had parked right next to me
and smiled and waved at me
as we pulled out.
i checked my lipstick
in the mirror.
i couldn’t wait to
get in bed with my husband
and tell him
how i’d felt-
like i’d had a depth charge
and aware
that i can still turn a head or two
even if it’s only
for my excellent sense
of color.

Blue: Pt.10

Originally posted by kinghyungwon

Previous part: [Pt.9

Warnings for this part: language, mentions of blood

“Are you okay?” you asked and ran over to Minhyuk.

“Don’t touch me,” he growled when you held his arm, ready to help him up. “I don’t need your help.”

You let go immediately and watched how he groaned and turned around to lie on his back. His breathing was heavy and uneven. He was holding his right side. You furrowed your eyebrows and leaned a little closer to see better. Your eyes widened.

“It’s just a little blood,” he hissed when he noticed you staring.

“It’s blue,” you whispered and looked at him. “Your blood is blue.”

“I thought you were intelligent enough to figure that out after hearing all those vampires call us blue-blooded jerks. I guess I overestimated you.”

He hissed at the pain.

“How the hell did this happen?” you ignored his comment.

“Long story,” he said.

You took your phone from your pocket, about to call an ambulance.

“Don’t,” he slapped your hand, making the phone drop to the ground. “They’ll find out about my blood.”

“Well it’s not like you can stay here,” you said, giving him a look.

He let out a frustrated sigh.

“Where are your friends? Shouldn’t they sense this kind of things?”

“Oh, please,” he gave a laugh that didn’t sound like a laugh at all. “We don’t have a weird spiritual connection or anything.”

“Then what should I do? With a wound like that you can’t stay here like this unless you want to die.”

“Dying sounds appealing right now,” he said with a smirk that creeped you out a lot. The pain he was going through could be seen on his face. It really seemed like death didn’t sound bad to him.

Without asking, you grabbed his arm, wrapped it around your shoulders and forced him to stand up.

“Look at you, trying to save the day,” he mocked you.

You ignored the comment and started walking slowly, making him walk too. You had to at least get him to your apartment. Even though he was a jerk, you just couldn’t leave anyone to die.

You sat down on the floor next to the sofa. Minhyuk was lying down on it. He hadn’t let you touch or see the wound on his side. The only thing you knew about it was that he was bleeding quite a bit.

“Did you text him?” he asked coldly, not looking at you.

He had given you Hoseok’s number - which had caught you totally off-guard since you hadn’t expected them to have phones or anything the like - and had told you to text him that Minhyuk needed his help.

“Yeah. Why don’t you have your phone with you?”

“They took it,” he hissed.

“The higher-ups?”

“Yes, those bastards.”

You looked at how he frowned at the pain he was experiencing. You had never seen him like that before. He suddenly looked somewhat human.

He feels pain too, huh?

“I’m surprised you’re still alive,” he gave a dry laugh. “I was sure you would get yourself killed the second you weren’t protected anymore.”

“I thought so too,” you admitted. “But here I am.”

He just smirked before frowning again. It looked like the pain came in waves or something like that.

“What did they do to you?” you asked. “Why did you even go there?”

“You’re never going get past your stupid curiosity, are you?” he groaned.

“Fine, I’ll just shut up,” you shrugged. “I was just trying to make your time pass faster.”

You got up from the floor and walked towards the kitchen. Hearing his voice made you stop.

“Well, whatever. Might as well tell you everything. Where should I start…” he stopped for a bit. “I was a human once.”

You turned around and stared at him in shock.

“We were all human once. We were born into a human family and our families raised us,” he continued while staring at the ceiling.

A human?

“We don’t have families now. We don’t remember them, though that’s probably for the best. They are the reason we became like this.”

“What do you mean?” you asked and slowly walked back to the sofa.

He glanced at you when you sat down again. “They hurt us. The reason we turn into what we are now is because of all the frustration, anger and fear built up inside us for too long. I’ve witnessed many people change into what I am now. I know that it’s better to be like this than to suffer that life.”

You were dumbfounded. How though must their lives be for them to change into a completely different being?

“The extreme negative feelings eventually turn one’s blood blue and they become someone like me. It’s always people in their 10’s or early 20’s who turn. People past that age can cope with the negative feelings better and it usually turns into a mental illness or they just overcome it in some miraculous way,” he stopped for a few seconds. “After the person’s blood turns blue, the person disappears from home, loses all their memories and is found by one of us who have already turned.”

You were about to ask him another question but he cut you off before you could open your mouth.

“There’s no such thing as a cure for this. There’s nothing that can make us turn back,” he said and gave you a cold look. “Not that any of us would like to change back even if we were given the chance. We have too much hate towards your kind to even consider it. Even though we can’t remember what kind of abuse we went through, all the physical and emotional abuse we went through was enough to leave us with scars deep enough to reach our souls.”

You quietly listened to him. You thought about the six others. Hoseok, Jooheon and the others.

He still smiled at the girl despite her being a human. I wonder if he thought that he’d see her again in the future, not as a human but as someone like him, you thought about Jooheon. Your heart ached.

“What? Do you feel bad for us?” Minhyuk asked, almost like he was mocking you.

“I can’t even imagine how horrible it must have been for you all…”

“Whatever,” he said. “We don’t need your pity.”

You stared at the floor, still feeling bad for them all. Behind those icy eyes and threatening auras there were hurt souls that had every reason to hate humans. The icy looks they always gave you didn’t seem so mean anymore.

“Since I already started,” Minhyuk brought you back from your thoughts. “And since Hoseok still isn’t here, I might as well tell you the rest too.”

You lifted your head and looked at him. He stared at the ceiling with his cold eyes.

I wonder what kind of abuse he went through as a human…

“I obviously can’t remember my family either. My memories start from the time I was found in a quiet neighborhood near the edge of the city. A woman found me and took care of me,” you could see from his eyes that thinking about the woman hurt him.

“She was murdered by the higher-ups not long after I was found,” he growled. “She was only thirty years old. Those assholes killed everyone who was twenty or older seven years ago. Just to get the power to themselves.”

“That’s horrible,” you frowned.

“We, the seven of us, all lost someone important to us in the process. We decided to rebel against those assholes but it didn’t work out since we were so young. We were lucky enough to avoid getting killed by them. The punishment we got was babysitting a human each. They think it’s enough to keep us busy and out of their business.”

I’m disgusted by those people.

“Now that we got the conversation going, I might as well answer all your other annoying questions so you can shut up forever. Any questions, human?” he asked and turned his head a little to look at you coldly.

You quietly thought about it. Maybe I should ask something different now… I don’t want to ask anything that’ll bring up any more painful memories…

“Do you all have the same abilities? Like being able to make yourself invincible and being able to paralyze someone?” you asked after thinking about it for a bit.

“There are no special ones among us. Everyone is the same in terms of abilities,” he answered.

“The higher-ups too? I thought they would be somewhat special.”

He snorted. “Those snakes are weaker than any of us. They simply have all the power because they are the oldest among us. And that’s all thanks to them killing everyone who was even near their age.”

You were about to ask him another question but could hear the doorbell ring. You got up and went to open the door.

“Where is he?” Hoseok asked coldly when you met eyes with him.


He pushed past you without giving you the time to finish your sentence. You closed the door and went into the living room where he had gone.

“What the hell is going on inside your head?” Hoseok asked Minhyuk with an angry voice.

“Even I don’t know that,” Minhyuk said and gave Hoseok a crooked grin.

“You’re fucking insane!” Hoseok raised his voice.

“What’s going on?” you asked and went closer to them.

“Shut up,” Hoseok growled and gave you a glare that sent chills down your spine.

“Just calm down, will you?” Minhyuk stood up from the sofa while holding his side.

“Calm down?” Hoseok repeated in disbelief. “Calm down?! How can you tell me to calm down when you just returned after killing one of the higher-ups’ servants?! You’re screwed, idiot!”

Minhyuk remained calm even though Hoseok was yelling.

“Did you really-“

“Shut up!” Hoseok cut you off and before you could react, you had already fallen to the floor thanks to him giving you a rough push. “Don’t interfere,” he growled.

“Let’s go,” Minhyuk said to him after glancing at you. “There’s no reason to include her in this.”

“Yeah? Why did you kill that bastard then?” Hoseok asked and the two stared at each other. “Didn’t you rush back because of her? Didn’t you kill one of those annoying assholes because you didn’t want her to die? Killing anyone important to the higher-ups results in you getting killed anyway.”

“It had nothing to do with her,” Minhyuk’s expression was darker now.

“Then what was a heavy enough reason for you to throw your shitty life away like that?!”

“It’s about Yuna!” Minhyuk yelled and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yuna?” you repeated the name.

No, it’s probably someone else… I doubt it’s actually her… It can’t be her…

“Yuna?” Hoseok repeated it too and his tone was completely different now. “What about her?”

Minhyuk stared at him coldly. “She’s about to change,” he stopped for a few seconds. “They want her to side with them since their popularity among the other new ones has gone down. They want to brainwash her into thinking that we are the bad guys. They think they can make her into some mascot that’ll encourage the others support them.”

Hoseok was quiet.

“I had to get away. Killing the guard who was in charge of me was the only way to escape,” Minhyuk continued. “She’s turning 21 soon, Hoseok,” he said and you could feel your stomach twist a little.

The Yuna I know turns 21 this year…

“Seeing how bad her situation has been for the past weeks… She’s probably going to change very soon, most likely before her birthday,” Minhyuk continued. “We need to get to her before those bastards do. If they get her, we’ll be over.”

“What’s so special about her?” you asked and got up from the floor. You ignored Hoseok’s cold glare.

You and Minhyuk looked at each other. “Please, I need to know,” you said. “If she’s who I think she is, she’s someone important to Eunkyung. I want to know.”

“You’re right, she is the person we ran into that one day,” Minhyuk confirmed, making your heart ache a little. 

No… Is that why she was gone? Is that why she can’t be with Eunkyung anymore?

“She knows everything about us,” Minhyuk continued. “Everything about vampires, us and the other creatures roaming around, she knows even though no one has ever told her and she has never asked anything. She just knows. That’s why she’s different. She has the gift of knowledge.”

“Not sure if it’s a gift though,” Hoseok said and you looked at him. “She knows too much for her own good. It’s more like a curse than a gift.”

Yuna was like that all along? Since the day we met? Since the day she met Eunkyung?

“We have to go,” Minhyuk said to Hoseok and walked past you. “We have to find her.”

Before leaving the room, he turned around and looked at you coldly. “Do not leave this apartment. It’s not safe outside.”

Then he turned around and left. You let yourself fall on the floor, on your knees. You buried your face in your hands and took a shaky breath.

Poor girl… She must have gone through so much… Alone.

Next part: [Pt.11]
Other parts: [Masterlist]

Mille lune Mille Onde

A Thousand Moons a Thousand Waves

Wake up my love the night’s already over
Wake up come here in my arms the sun is rising
Don’t think of the past, all the mists that lie there
Hold me tight and talk to me again and you’ll see we’ll live again

Bind my heart with your hair
You’re my wave breaking inside me
Hold me tight for now I’m the sea
You’ll feel the thrill right through

Talk to me, Hold me, Glide,
Blue moon

Leaves and the wind carries us
We’re heading skywards
Hug me and let yourself go
Now you are the wind

Bind my heart with your hair
You’re my wave breaking inside me
Hold me tight for now we’re the sea
You’ll feel the thrill right through

And the nights slip by
I glide kissing you
A thousand moons
a thousand waves
that cross our sea

Bind my heart with your hair
You’ll feel the thrill right through

New Life to a Physical Past

Why don’t we hide inside the bedroom,
Closed off from the world?
With you here, I don’t feel like
I’m drowning in dark blues
And greens and purples.
This feels orange and yellow
And red,
Bright red like a cherry-topped sunset
Or fresh lipstick stains
On warm faces.
With you here
I am not alone
And the sky is bright blue
Just like the comforter
And the abstract painting hung
Above the bedside table.
The walls expand
To encompass this new reality
Of you and me,
Living under the fairy lights
That are almost out of batteries
And the open window
With the screens
I poked holes through long ago.
With you here
Even this place seems beautiful.

Alone- Steve Rogers

Character: Steve Rogers


88. “Just once.”

96. “Why are you running from this? I know you feel it too.”

99. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

Warning: Just lots of feels and angst and general sadness…Considering doing a Part 2 to this one if anyone is interested! Enjoy! :)

“I need everybody in one this one, except for Agent Grant.”

I felt my mouth fall open slightly as I met the Captain’s eyes from across the room. Everyone around us shifted uncomfortably. “Excuse me?” I asked carefully, leaning forward in my seat. “Why am I not going?”

“You know why.” Steve went on, his fingertips pressed to the edge of the table. “You’re not at 100% yet, Grant.”

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