New Services From the Creators of Blue Apron:
Hello, loyal customer!
We trust you’re enjoying the fresh ingredients and recipes from Blue Apron. We also hope you’ll tell your friends that for only slightly more money than it costs to have a restaurant put all the ingredients of a meal together and cook it for you, you can receive all the parts of a meal along with easy-to-follow instructions, and cook it yourself! We deliver organic ingredients from sustainable farms right to your door. It’s nearly as convenient and environmentally-conscious as ordering from Seamless, and it only takes twice the time!
Today, we’re proud to announce a few other services you might like if you enjoy Blue Apron:
Random Package: Shopping for yourself can be tedious, even when you only do it online. You need new clothes, you need groceries, you need soap. What if all of that came to you with the push of a button? Random Package sends you a box each month with any items we think you might like. One month, a jar of peanut butter, some socks, and bungie cords. The next month, cat food, an Amazon Kindle, and various seeds for starting your own garden. Any items you don’t want, you put back in the box and carry to your local UPS pickup location, and you’ll be reimbursed in 3-5 weeks. Simple as that!
Model Home Gym: Look like a model after using Model Home Gym! It looks like a real home gym, but it’s actually a heavy model of a gym that you assemble and take apart once a day. It’s scientifically proven to help you burn more calories than a regular home gym that you only put together once.
Pageturner: Tired of boring old books but wish you read more? Why isn’t there a digestible version of the novel for the digital age? Pageturner will email you a single sentence of The Girl of the Train every morning for 6 years. Now you can savor the book at a leisurely pace, and let the suspense mount even more while waiting for the next installment.
Organic Bath: Ever wonder why people bathed so infrequently before indoor plumbing? It wasn’t bad hygiene. It’s because they were soaking in clean water that hadn’t been sent through old, rusty pipes! Organic Bath sends you a divining rod, a shovel, and four of our reusable green plastic jugs (that you can return to any of our 4 locations in New Jersey). Dig your own well, then conveniently fill your own tub with our water, and let your skin feel the difference!
Film School: Did you know the average American spends a total of $32,000 on movie tickets and rentals in a lifetime? That just happens to be slightly more than a year’s tuition at the New York Film Academy! If you give us that exact amount, not only will our staff handpick a prime studio apartment in Manhattan, but we will send a budding screenwriter to live with you and work on the next big indie drama to direct. If you don’t like the movie, whose fault is that, really?
Walk My Dog: Ever want to be around a dog but don’t want to own one? You can come to our Manhattan office between the hours of 1-3 PM and walk our CEO Matt Salzburg’s dog for free! Juniper is a 4-year-old Border Collie that loves meeting new people! Walk My Dog lets you feel like you own a pet without all the extra responsibilities. And playing with Juniper is optional! Just make sure she poops and pees. Thanks.
We hope you’ll try some of these exciting new services from Blue Apron, and that you continue to enjoy snow peas in literally every meal we send.
Your friends at Blue Apron