blowing up the moon

  • Winter, turning on lights to Ironwood's office: Qrow! What in the world are you doing?
  • Qrow: Would you believe me if I told you I was stealing Jimmy's robust collection of security footage from the women's changing room?
  • Winter: No. And how do you know there's a camera in there?
  • Qrow: I am a disgusting, disgusting man who masturbates frequently. You caught me. Are you happy now, Winter?
  • Winter: Stop trying to change the subject. What files are on that flash drive you pulled out of the general's computer?
  • Qrow: I uploaded a virus to make his desktop change to a different butt every 2 minutes.
  • Winter: Not buying it.
  • Qrow: This Ironwood is an imposter and I'm trying to figure out where he's keeping the real one.
  • Winter: No.
  • Qrow: Ironwood is building a giant space canon to blow up what remains of the moon and I need to stop him.
  • Winter: That project got cancelled a month ago.
  • Qrow: Wait, seriously, he was-
  • Qrow: Look, this is why I'm stealing all of his files.
  • Winter: You could be put to death for this!
  • Qrow: He uses Internet Explorer! We cannot trust this man with information crucial to the survival of humanity.
  • Winter: Qrow, why are you doing this?
  • Qrow: Would you believe me if I told you this is classified?
  • Winter: Classified by what organization? Ozpin is gone, Qrow. You're not under any authority.
  • Qrow: ............
  • Qrow: Look, Ironwood's in his own little world, Winter. He's not an ally, he's just a little kid with expensive toys and a big imagination.
  • Winter, drawing her sword: So you intend to make him your enemy?
  • Qrow: This information getting out will keep him from making a move. It's safest for everyone, including himself, if he's out of the game. And I don't want to drag you into it either.
  • Winter: So you don't trust me either?
  • Qrow: .......
  • Winter: What are in the files? Answer me!
  • Qrow: So you're out of the loop on this? He hasn't told you anything?
  • Winter: It's beyond my ranking.
  • Qrow: Are... are you really going to cry?
  • Winter: Put your hands in the air, Branwen.
  • Qrow: ...It's just like you to get emotional about this. Closest thing you have to a dad and he won't even let you know what's going on. And here you are on the verge of tears. You never were much of a soldier.
  • Winter: You shut up.
  • Qrow: I meant it as a compliment.
  • Qrow: *Walks past Winter to the door*
  • Winter: *Doesn't move to follow him. Not a muscle on her body budges*
  • Qrow: The computer's already cracked. If you want to see it all, you can. I trust you with that stuff more than anyone else in this god-forsaken mausoleum.
  • Qrow: *Walks out*
  • Winter: *Lowers sword*
  • -----------------------------------------------
8

Hyung-nim? HYUNG-NIM!

homestuck act 1: main character dicking around in his house

homestuck post-canon: main characters alt-universe godly grandmother is trapped on the moon surrounded by a containment field as the subjects of her allies’ kingdom attempts to blow up a chunk of the moon for the aesthetic.

i like it
  • *kicks down door*: should you see a vision of the Blue man walking mind to him you do not talk
  • *sets bed on fire*: should you see the horror of the blue man's smile your sweet soul he will defile
  • *rips off own head*: always is the mission of the Blue man tracking run away and don't look back
  • *blows up the moon*: hopeless is the terror of the blue man's victim
  • *launches self into the sun*: PRAY HE SPARES YOU ON A WHIM

the reason why all “mad scientists” are actually mad engineers is when they blow up the moon they never blow up other moons to test the consistency of their results