Things that matter more than being skinny & restricting calories:
The person you are on the inside
Eating out with people without any fear
Eating chocolate after dinner
Wearing clothes with confidence
Shopping and finding clothes that actually fit
Going out to parties
Not being cold 24/7
Not thinking about food 24/7
Having thick, healthy hair
Eating at 3am just ‘cause
Having enough energy to interact with people
Actually wanting to have sex
Baking cookies and eating some
Eating your birthday cake, not just blowing out the candles
Exercising ‘cause it makes you feel good, not because it’s a chore
Eating without discomfort and pain
Having hunger cues
Not being tired 24/7
Picture this: Mike and El sprawled out on the couch watching 101 Dalmatians.
Suddenly, she’s leaning forward and Mike thinks that she’s going to kiss him so he closes his eyes. But instead of lips, he feels her fingers softly brush across his cheek, under his left eye.
When he opens his eyes, he sees her examining the eyelash–his eyelash–resting on her fingertip. Mike smiles and places his own fingertip over hers, pressing tightly. El looks up at him, unsure.
“When someone loses an eyelash,” he explains, “You can make a wish on it. We both make a wish and then separate our fingers. Whoever has the eyelash will have their wish come true.”
El nods. She knows about wishes. They’re what you do when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake, like Lucas did last week. She doesn’t need to think about her wish; it’s easy: I wish for my friends to be happy forever, especially Mike.
When they pull their fingers apart, El smiles to see the eyelash still resting on her skin. She blows on it delicately and watches it float away, looking forward to her wish coming true and not knowing that Mike’s wish was startlingly similar; the wish he’ll make on every birthday candle for the rest of his life: I wish for El to have all the happiness in the world forever.
your years always start with April
it is your birthday, after all,
you count and blow out
exactly 14 candles
nobody has quite noticed that
you’ve been 14 for a long time
sometimes you think it’s because
you stopped living 4 years ago
inside your stomach is a cemetery
you’re not sure what’s buried there
you hope it’s something unimportant.
the garden behind your house is dying.
you find it sad,
as your mother no longer has time to tend to it.
neither do you.
you watch each day as the plants slowly wilt.
weeds growing in every crevice.
flowers no longer bloom in the soil.
your friends always point out how pale you are and
you look at yourself in the mirror every chance you get
there has never been a time in your life
when your eyes have looked so overcast
you start to wonder if you make a better ghost than you do a person.
you wonder when you stopped breathing.
the heat is a treasure, you decide,
it represents how you feel.
determined to clear your path.
it is no longer your enemy.
there are bridges in your heart
and you know they have collapsed.
there is nothing you can do.
so you brainstorm on how to fix the structure.
you know there is wood lying on either side of the cliffs,
and that there is too much in the chasm.
your biology class teaches you about lizards.
and you too, much like a reptile,
begin shedding your skin,
leaving your old cells behind.
you feel your new body,
you leave your old one behind the dumpster at your school.
you feel better.
she never touched you,
but fuck, you wished she had.
you make it up in your mind.
she gently caressed your forearm,
her fingertips tracing the veins along your wrist.
you cover it.
you cover it with bracelets, with your sleeve, with a new tattoo.
there is a two-story ice cream parlor a few minutes from your house.
you go there and order the usual,
a vanilla sundae, three pumps of fudge, no nuts, one cherry.
however, you never eat the cherry.
your mom says that you are too repetitive,
making the same mistakes.
you believe her.
snow falls from the sky once again.
you do not want to repair the bridge anymore,
as it is far too broken.
you gave up on exploring the chasm.
instead, you resort to shoveling the snow,
on a cloudy day.
little by little,
you uncover the trail.
you wake up, thinking he was still there,
the heater is turned off.
your mind is static,
and you try to comprehend what happened.
he said it wasn’t your fault;
it’s never your fault.
you can’t bring yourself to agree.
you start to ponder if you’ll be alone forever.
although the snow is no longer falling,
it is still raining.
as a result,
the laundry begins to pile up.
you do it slowly, slowly, slowly,
waiting for the rain to stop.
you are not fond of February,
and you never have been.
it is March and you feel alive again.
April is next month and,
nobody comments on how your eyes have turned blue instead of gray.
the other day, you noticed the flower in your dead garden has started to grow again.
but you know, you watered it yourself.
you realize it has been you.
it has always been,
wrt this post, it just occurred to me that it’s unlikely either Jamie or Zoe would have had a birthday party before, since Jamie’s from the 1700s and Zoe was obviously had a ‘no fun allowed’ kind of upbringing
imagine the Doctor realising this and pulling a Steven Universe.
‘well this just won’t do, we shall have to have all your birthdays at once!’
‘that’s really not necessary Doctor’
‘too late I already had the TARDIS synthesise 40 birthday cakes now blow out your candles’
“Celebration is the sparkle in the eye of the one who glows. It is the song that plays in the house of freedom. Celebration is the dance of life, it’s the one dancing to the drumbeat of the heart, it’s your birthday cake, it’s you blowing out the trick candles, it’s you delighting in the fire of life.”
✨Tehya Sky 💫
We need a week-long How Did This Get Made Myth Busters, there are so many questions. Can you jump over a fence like Vanilla Ice did in Cool As Ice? For Fast 7 we're going to need to know, can a car come out of a plane, go through a building, go into another building, then fly out of that building?
Paul F. Tompkins:
Can you blow out birthday candles with your mind?