Lily: So for the meeting today, we will discuss a few things.
James: And then you’ll go off in pairs and patrol the corridors. Hey, Lockhart - stop that!
Gilderoy: *Winks at James and blows kisses*
James: I said stop it.
Antonin Dolohov: DUDE. Listen to the head boy!
Lily: Anyway, first order of business. Dung bombs. They’ve become a growing fascination again amongst the younger students. If you overhear anyone talking about them, question them and confiscate them. That includes your friends, Potter.
James: Hey, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m the head boy.
Lily: *Raises eyebrows* Are you challenging me?
James: Course not love… *clears throat*… I mean, Lily. Next thing is violence. There’s been a lot of it lately. And from prefects, too *looks at Remus and Regulus*
Remus: That was ages ago!
Regulus: We’re friends again now!
Remus: As if nothing ever happened!
Regulus: Except you have a little scar on your head.
Remus: And your nose is a bit out of shape.
James: Okay, enough. Just no more fighting, okay? It makes us look bad if even the prefects are fighting… with each other.
Lily: And finally, sex.
James: *Goes red* Uh… what?
Gilderoy: *Winks at James*
Lily: Make sure if you see any couples who may be… intimate… remind them about protection and to be safe! There’s been a pregnancy and some shenanigans at the Valentine’s Day ball. Not to mention someone fell down the stairs during intercourse in a broom cupboard!
Regulus: It wasn’t during intercourse! It was before!
Lily: And how would you know that?
Regulus: No reason! *Blushes*
James: So that concludes the meeting! Everyone split into pairs and patrol your assigned areas of the castle.
Gilderoy: I’d like to be your partner, Potter. Your life partner ;)