K but consider this: Link and Zelda being neighbors in an apartment
and I was trying to decide whether next-door neighboors or floor-above neighbors would be funnier but I figured that out quick
So Link lives in apartment 426 and Zelda moves into 326. She and Malon are so jazzed because it’s their first place ever, they’re both fresh out of college, and they have good entry level jobs
now i understand that that right there is an unrealistic fantasy but BEAR WITH ME
anyhow Zelda is so excited to start at work and she’s lying in her room trying to go to sleep and all she hears is BANGING on her ceiling
it’s 12:30 on a Tuesday night. what the fuck are those people doing??
but she is a civil person who is not grumpy AT ALL and just puts headphones in and goes to sleep
But as it turns out, this happens EVERY NIGHT
A couple days later she is getting her mail and notices a guy with a great butt like hot damn unlocking the 426 box so she says hi, gets his name, and as passive aggressively as possible tells him to keep it the fuck down
anyways that night as she’s going to bed she goes to pull her curtain closed and there, dangling by a string in front of her window, is a note that says “Sorry Princess ;)”
And she doesn’t even have time to consider what he’s sorry for before she hears the music start to BLARE.
So basically Zelda takes this as a declaration of war and begins plotting how she, too, can make his life miserable. Like a civil person who is not grumpy at all.
He has it easier because all he has to do is jump up and down but she is much more creative
Next time he wakes her up with the thumping she starts vacuuming her ceiling at 2 in the morning
Realizing what she’s doing, he gets competitive and the next night, he invites all of his friends out onto his balcony one night for drunk karaoke
she attaches a little speaker to his cat’s collar that’s connected to her phone and once he gets inside she blares never gonna give you up
He buys two retro DDR mats and him and Sheik start playing every night before bed
She climbs up onto the fire escape to open his window (idiot leaves it unlocked) and attaches a blowhorn to the outside so when he closes it he nearly goes flying
Both of them are exhausted 100% of the time but spite and competitiveness keep them going.
One day Zelda catches Link trying to get her back and she nearly pushes him off the fire escape
They’re hopelessly attracted to each other tbh but they have literally NO contact besides these back and forth pranks so none of them give it up
Malon and Sheik don’t really know what’s going on but it starts keeping THEM awake and they get together and start figuring out how to broker peace
Malon drags Zelda to their apartment for dinner one night and while Zelda and Link start bickering at the table Sheik and Malon slip out
Zelda doesn’t even notice that they’re gone and tries to storm back up to the room but Link’s front door won’t budge
(Sheik and Malon have barricaded the door from the outside with the help of one meddling front attendant)
THEY’RE STUCK IN THE APARTMENT TOGETHER LMAO
They try the fire escape but Malon is smarter than that and has that locked too
Anyway now Link and Zelda are forced to spend the night together
And now they have all this free time because they don’t have to waste time pranking each other
You were rather spiteful. The guard could see why you and Caius were together, you both enjoyed the luxury of cruelty. However it was like being in the crossfire when you two fought. They hoped to avoid you more than him. You often liked to go out your way to make his life hell when you two fought.
This was one of those times. Not to be misleading, you showed kindness behind stern words. You were prickly and very new. You hadn’t been around long and so the guard gave you the benefit of the doubt. Not even the twins were an exception to your attitude unlike Caius. This immediately made you the meaner one of the two.
Afton and Chelsea muttered slightly as they headed to your room. It was their turn to watch you and do what you said.
They knocked on the open door and saw you sat at your desk writing away. No one knew what you were doing, not even Caius knew what you did. Well- except Aro but not even what he saw the sense.
Your eyes flickered to them briefly before continuing. “My name is (Y/N) (L/N), and before you dare say it you will not call me ‘mistress’. I am no one’s ‘mistress’ in any sense of the word and it makes me sound old. (Y/N), is fine or hell even ‘miss’ since the last few struggled with that.”
Afton and Chelsea looked at each other in shock with the sudden dominance you held within the conversation.
“Pleasure to meet you miss, I am Afton and this is my mate Chelsea.”
You looked up again, eyes narrowing. “Have we met already?”
“Somewhat, you threw a book at us the first time.” Chelsea said.
“Oh, did I hurt you?” You suddenly seemed interested- perhaps in concern?
“No, no.” Chelsea smiled at Afton who returned the smile.
“Damn, well, there’s always next time.” You smiled. Or perhaps you weren’t concerned at all. “Word of warning, I won’t be remembering your names as of yet as I don’t seem it necessary. It’s not personal, it’s that I don’t care and don’t know who I will be seeing regularly. Well- except for two, those twins. So you,” you pointed at Chelsea. “You will be thing One and you,” you pointed at Afton “will be thing Two.”
The meeting was formal, business like and extremely uncomfortable -yet oddly familiar. This was how they treated humans, now this human was treating them the same.
“Now, Caius sent you to watch me however im not playing his games today. So now that we’ve finished introductions, you can bring me those twins.”
They nodded and turned away. “I don’t like them.” Chelsea whispered.
“Prickly is not the word for them.” Afton muttered.
The two froze and turned around.
“I may be human but I’m not deaf. You may want to learn how to lower your voices efficiently because I can hear you perfectly. Now you are idiot one and two. You two can also take the rest of the day off. How generous am I?“ You smirked before waving them off.
“I love them.” Chelsea said much lower.
“They’re great!” Afton grinned also lower.
You smiled slightly, they’ll get the hang of it eventually.
The twins stood at the doorway, staring at you.
“Already making impressions by not making your presence known and staring as though you’re entitled to being noticed. Whilst my mate and his brothers may tolerate it-i will not. You’ve lost brownie points.” You said before turning to the twins.
“So, I decided that I wanted to meet you two today and so here we are. Don’t bother giving me names, I have no intention of remembering them. Lets just agree that you don’t torture me then I won’t torture you.”
The twins nodded slowly. “We are not permitted to hurt you to begin with.” Jane said fighting back anger of being talked down to by a human.
“Then life should be easy for you two. So, it’s no secret that I am fighting with Caius and I am really mad. You two are coming with me. Oh and before any protest, no you will not be punished for following my command.” You went into your wardrobe bringing out a horn. “This is my ‘irritated horn’. I blow it when I get irritated. We’re doing rounds. But first nick names. You two are blondie and sassy- I’m sure you can figure out who is who.” You turned to Alec. “Before you question your name, don’t think I don’t hear how you speak to the lower guards. Now roll onto my mate. I know him, you know him. He’s been talking. It’s no secret we’re fighting. Boohoo. Now why are we fighting?“
“You disagree.” Jane answered.
“Blondie, vague answers get you nowhere.”
“Because our master wants to follow routine by having you in the tower as to which you refuse.”
“Sassy stole the point, now why did I protest?”
“Because you were born in modern era which embarks on equality rights for women just as men. You also believe in independent, strong women who live by their choice and not in conformity of the rules your partner. Therefore you explaining your issue with our masters demands.”
“Behind every mother is a strong woman. Well done, Blondie stole the win. Now, let’s go.“
The first the trio saw was Felix, who was tormenting the secretary. You lifted the blow horn and the twins winced at the noise. Felix looked at you.
“BFG, you have better things to do than torment our receptionist, get to it.”
You moved forward to the receptionist, taking her pen and scribbling on a sticky note. You stuck it to her head and walked off.
The receptionist peeled off the note and read the words. ‘i will not flirt with guards.’
The twins were very uncomfortable to witness you purposefully move Caius’ stuff to the most unthinkable places and simply because you could. You then marched into the throne room, right up to Caius.
“Get up, please.”
He did so with a scowl before being startled as you dragged his throne out of place. “What on earth are you doing!?”
“You’re talking crap about our problems to the guard and everyone else in this castle? Then don’t mind me as I inconvenience you.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Maybe, but now you’ll see how I feel when you go fishing out our problems for the world to hear. We’re not a perfect couple, I’m sorry, but you are deluded if you think I’m going to sit back and watch as you gossip about me to everyone here.”
“You say as though you are a saint and you don’t disrespect the guard.”
“Oh I do, sweetheart. Let’s not pretend you’re much better.“
The boys didn’t realize the mics picked up everything they said to the fans so they were teasing each other for being cheesy~t was ~3am so Yunhyeong was like “do you think the sun is up?” And Hanbin pointed to the stars in the stage bg and said “it’s still night!”
The fan chants weren’t as loud and united as the PDs wanted, so one fan just yelled as loud as she could and after the recording, while she was drinking water she saw that Yunhyeong was staring at her. When they locked eyes he sent her a thumbs up and smiled.The fan was so shocked and excited, she didn’t know what to do and Yunhyeong bowed 90 degrees to her
While they were resting, fans yelled for ikon to do something so from Junhoe-Chanwoo-other members-Hanbin they all did some aegyo and crossed their legs but Yunhyeong stood up and did a peace sign really cutely
PD: were you just wearing one side this entire time? hanbin: yes! PD: aren’t you going to put your earpieces in? Bobby: !!!! *puts in earpiece* Junhoe: *acts like he had it in the whole time and puts it in*
Once again people are being both immature and obtuse. Guilt tripping? Check. Aggression? Check. I don't agree with not buying Harry's album as protest because it will accomplish little and it's not Harry's fault. BUT I don't think it's so hard to understand how some might see this as the only way to express their anger at a deeply unfair situation both in terms of BG and promo discrepancies, and within their rights as consumers. And there's not need to be a dick if you disagree.
yep exactly. and for the millionth time *pulls out blowhorn* I AM STILL SUPPORTING HARRY’S ALBUM AND AM NOT ADVOCATING ANY KIND OF BOYCOTT
Disclaimer:The material present in this article is meant for academic study and writing only. It is not meant for instructional use in your everyday life. This information will not be useful without physical instruction from a qualified instructor. If you are interested in this information within the context of self-defense, please seek out a martial arts school or self-defense program in your area. We are not liable for the harm you do to yourself or others with this information. We are also not liable for the legal ramifications that come with those actions.
In this article, we’ll discuss the weak target points on the head in order to help your fight sequences become more detailed. The conventional martial arts advice is “where the head goes, the body follows”. The body has an instinctive desire to protect the head and face from attack, a clever fighter can trigger these instincts in a less (and even sometimes more) competent one by understanding how to use the body’s protective instincts against an opponent. A character can make these instincts work for them if they realize that they are there, they may learn to trigger them intentionally against someone else. They may not know on a conscious level or scientific level that they are doing it, they may simply be working off their combat experience or techniques that were taught to them by a more experienced instructor. They may not know how it works, just that it does. You, the author, need to know because you are the one who must relay these actions to the audience in your story. There is a vast difference between what an author must know and what a character may know, you are the deciding force behind the character’s actions and you must be able to communicate to the audience what happened in the scene. Fighting is, at its heart, a very sophisticated and scientific animal. To communicate it effectively requires a functional understanding of human behavior, bodily reactions, an understanding of the body’s physical form, and a good solid sense of physics.
So, today, we’re going to talk about the vulnerable places on the head and how they can be exploited in a multitude of different ways to distract a target and create openings in the guard that allow for finishing strikes. This won’t cover everything, but it should be enough to get you thinking.
The Skull: On the top of the forehead, there are dents in the skull where the plates are fused together. By placing pressure on these dents, one can effectively force the head to move in any direction (preferably backwards). The skull is made up of around eight different bone plates that are fused together. The places where they are structurally weak can be exploited. However, for the untrained or even general martial artist, these can be difficult to find in the confusion of combat.
The Hair: We covered a lot about the hair in a few articles, including Hair Pulling. The hair can in certain cases provide a good grip for fingers, be used to drag the head back or slam it forward. The hair follicles are all nerve endings which can cause pain (distraction) when pulled. If the brain is thinking about something else (ouch, ouch, it hurts!) it is less able to muster up the necessary concentration in order to fight back.
The Back of the Head: The bone in back of the head is actually much softer than the front. While it’s not a good striking point for hands, it is a common one for blunt force trauma using an object or by driving the head (when controlled using a control point, such as the hair) into something solid such as a wall or concrete. To abuse the back of the head in hand to hand, one must be facing their opponent. This usually only comes into play if they are close to a wall or on top of them when on the ground.
The Bottom of the Skull: The bottom of the skull, where the spine joins with the skull and the brain. It’s difficult to affect with hand to hand, but a strike from a knife, a sword, or a bullet can kill.
The Temple: The temple is an open gap and soft point that can provide direct access to the brain when struck. Pinpoint strikes may go here such as with the knuckles (in Taiji Chin Na), with the heel of the foot, or with a knife. Striking here will cause a loss of equilibrium and balance
The Forehead: The forehead is the densest and hardest point on the human body, which means that while a frontal assault is usually a pointless endeavor, bouncing the brain off it can get interesting. Much like the back of the head, the forehead can be a focus point for blunt trauma strikes (baseball bat, crowbar, tire iron, piece of wood) or be driven into a wall. Since the head must go back to go forward, someone driving the head into the wall or ground will have to be behind the individual. And in tips from Contemporary Knife Targeting by Michael Janich and Christopher Grosz: “Some traditional edged weapons systems such as Japanese iai-jutsu (sword drawing and cutting), purposefully target the forehead because it is highly vascular and, when cut, will bleed into the eyes, obstructing vision.” (20)
The Eyebrow: The eyebrow can be easily split or cut to bleed into the eyes, which is why it is such a popular one in professional boxing. Doing this with bare hands is not recommended because the forehead is so solid and one can cut their knuckles, which allows their opponent’s blood to mix with theirs, but it could be a priority target for someone wearing armor, brass knuckles, or using a knife.
The Eyes: The sense a human being relies on most is their sight, they cannot block what they cannot see. You know that instinctual reaction you have when you see something coming towards your face and know you can’t get out of the way; you squeeze your eyes shut? This is why. The body knows the eyes must be protected. Blind someone, temporarily or permanently, and they will have difficulty fighting back. This can be anything from blood in the eyes, to thrown dirt or sand, waving a knife blade near the eye, to faking out the peripheral vision by forcing someone to protect high when the attacker is actually going low. Moving towards the eyes will cause someone to flinch, while covering the eyes may cause them to panic. Strikes to the eye can be distraction based or lead to permanent injury, deep enough strikes to the optic nerve can cause unconsciousness, they can even kill by puncturing the brain (most commonly with a #2 pencil or a pen).
The Nose: We can go round and round about whether or not a palm strike to the nose can kill but, either way, the nose is a vulnerable target. Striking the nose, even if it doesn’t break, will cause swelling which can obstruct an individual’s vision, cause their eyes to water, and on impact to close. Placing the knuckle of the index finger directly under the nose and above the upper lip can be used to force the head back and the eyes up, creating openings for escape from grabs.
The Cheek: The cheek is a good control point because it can be used to drive the head sideways using the flat of the hand and create openings. A strike from an elbow coming in from the side can cause someone to bite their cheek hard enough to require stitches. Strikes to the cheekbone can lead to swelling and bruising, which can obscure vision.
The Mouth: We normally think of the mouth for biting, but the truth is getting knocked in the teeth really hurts. Knocking the head around can lead to someone biting through their tongue, biting their cheek, losing a tooth, all of which results in blood in the mouth. Enough blood in the mouth is a choking hazard and a hard enough bite can require a trip to a hospital, try to imagine how your characters would feel about spitting out their front tooth in the middle of a fight (or worse, a piece of their tongue).
The Jaw: The soft point at the back of the jaw where it connects to the skull is a vulnerable point that when struck can cause a knockout. However, the jaw has other uses too. Striking it specifically can lead to the jaw becoming unhinged or forcing it to clench (bite down), which means that it can chew into some of the mouth’s vulnerable places. This is why all sparring involves wearing mouth guards and why I side eye books that fail to mention mouth guards very hard. Most professional fighters will clench their teeth reflexively when they fight, those who spar will be practiced at breathing through their nose. They may or may not exhale through their mouth when fighting (mostly not).
Under the Jaw: Striking up under the jaw can cause the head to knock backwards, this is where some of the traditional palm strikes and uppercuts come in. However, a persona can also grasp under the jaw to control it (fingers should avoid the mouth or be bitten). The hand and forearm can also wrap around from behind and press up under the jaw to force head backwards, characters may do this when taking hostages or forcing someone else to look. A common way professionals will avoid taking a head butt from someone knocking their head backwards is to control the skull this way, allowing the neck no freedom of movement and pressing their cheek to their enemies’ ear.
The Ear: The ears, through sound, can control someone’s sense of equilibrium. Disrupt that and they may experience vertigo. The human being is very sensitive to sound and one of the best ways to screw with the brain is by hurting the ears. The ear is vulnerable to being boxed (two fists or palms come in on either side to strike inwards against the outside of the ears), they may be stabbed with a knife, or someone may scream into or use a blowhorn at close range (pressed up against the ear) to force a person to respond in a predictable manner (loss of balance, stumbling, falling over, etc).
Under the Ear: under the ear, there is a pressure point that when pressed can cause a substantial amount of pain. This pressure point is commonly taught in self-defense courses. A person who is familiar with this pressure point may also use it to stimulate response and keep themselves awake when tired.
This is by no means a comprehensive list and individual styles will all have their own methods and techniques of making use of these things.
“And now I’m here with my wonderful girlfriend (Y/n).” Carter said vlogging to his camera. He was making a vlog of his entire day so people could see what he actually does when he’s not vining or at magcon. “Tell them what we’re doing.” he said turning the camera to you. “We’re just hanging out in my room, listening to some music, and getting ready to go out to dinner.” Carter pans the camera back to him as Justin Biebers “Confident” comes on. “Oh! Oh! Dance for me, (y/n)!” he says and you do the goofiest dance move you could think of.
Taylor- Worst Birthday Party Ever
“We’re headed to this really sucky party.” Taylor says sarcastically and turns the camera to you. “We’re going to this party my friend is throwing for my birthday, actually.” You say rolling your eyes at him. “Yeah, whatever. What do you say you and me ditch this joint and roll back to my house for a real party if you know what i mean.” Taylor says and winks at the camera. He turns it back to you just quick enough to catch you laughing at his stupid joke, as usual. “Shut up, Taylor, me and you both know you’re a virgin.” You say raising your eyebrows. “Wanna change that?” He says and you laugh while getting out of the car. He turns the camera back to himself. “Yeah, this party’s gonna suck.” He says under his breath
Aaron- Chicago Magcon- Start to Finish!
“I’ll miss you.” Aaron said looking at you. “Aw, thanks aaron, but I’m going with you, soo…?” Nash said busting in between you and Aaron, disturbing your hug. Aaron pouted and you stepped back embarrassed. “And now the love birds are gonna start crying. Oh, just kiss, you two.” Nash said and smushed you into each other’s arms, making you laugh. Aaron kissed you on the cheek and you hugged him. “I’ll see you soon, babe.” Aaron whispered in your ear.
Matt- Magcon San Fran Vlog
“So yeah, all of us are pretty tired. We never really get that much sleep because we just cant resist staying up all night when we’re together.” Matt says vlogging himself, looking around for something to talk about. “Oh, there’s the beautiful (y/n)” he says, turning the camera to you. “She doesn’t even look tired, look at her. How does she do it.” You hear him, and wave at the camera. “Do what?” You ask looking up at him. “Look absolutely flawless even on 4 hours of sleep.” He says and you grin. “Aw, I love you so much,” you say and bury your head in his chest, to his your blushing cheeks. Matt turns the camera and grins at it before shutting it off.
Nash- Twitter Dares and Pranks
“Okay, @omgnash1234 says ‘Prank (y/n).’” Nash read off of his twitter. He chuckled and smirked at the camera. “This’ll be fun.” After plotting what to do, he and Cameron grabbed the camera and started walking. “She’s actually right down the hall from me, since we’re at magcon right now.” Cameron was filming Nash’s back as he knocked on your hotel door. You looked out the peephole and saw Cameron grinning at you. Little did you know, Nash was hiding behind the door frame waiting to scare you. You opened the door, expecting to talk to Cam, and got a huge blowhorn in your face. You step back in shock, but then hear Nash’s laugh, which makes you laugh. “I hate you.” you said and lean against the door frame. “I know, babe.” Nash grabs your hips and kisses you. “Get a room.” Cameron says, and Nash slams the hotel room door in his face.
Cameron- Visiting Family!
“So we’re here at iHop in Cali!” Cam said filming his mom talking to the waitress. You and Cameron were visiting his family in between magcons, and had decided to go to the house of pancakes for dinner. “Sierra likes pancakes, what a loser.” Cam said zooming in and out on his older sisters face. “I am not a loser!” Sierra said defensively and reached over to hit him. “It’s okay, i love pancakes, so we can be losers together.” You said crossed your arms. “Aw, you pick good girlfriend’s, Cam!” Sierra said and pulled you into a hug. “I know”, Cameron said looking into your eyes and reaching for your hand.
Jack J- Magcon San Diego (Behind The Scenes)
You and Jack were sitting at a vacant magcon venue while everything was getting prepared. Unfortunately, you had nothing to do, so Jack pulled out his camera and started filming you. “(Y/n) a girl tries dieting for the first time but hates health food go” Jack said super fast, prompting an impromptu monologue of you as that character. “Apples,” you said and paused to take a bite out of the one you were currently holding, “are just so great for you and they’re just so healthy,” you say with your mouth full of apple. “and who cares if they taste nasty when they help your body and,” you swallow the rest of the apple and give the camera a disgusted look. “WHERE IS THE CLOSEST MCDONALDS??” Jack cracks up and turns the camera around to him. “And that is why she is my girlfriend, because she can make the most boring situation fun.”
Shawn- Badass Girl Music Video
“Okay, we just need a few shots of you and Shawn together.” The director said. You were onset for your boyfriend, Shawn Mendes music video for his first single, Badass girl. “Hey, Shawn, you wrote this song about me, right?” You say jokingly. “What? No, it was definitely about the girl before you. Whats your name again?” Shawn joked and you put your hands on your hips. He walked over and wrapped his arms around your hips. “Just kidding, babe.” He said and kissed you. “Perfect!” The director said and cut the scene.
Jack G- Interview (Y/n)
“Who said 'i love you’ first?” Jack J said to you offscreen, during your 'girlfriend interview’. “Well,” you smiled. “We were sitting on my roof watching the sunset. Very romantic, i know.” You said and rolled your eyes. You could see your boyfriend grinning off-camera. “We were talking, and all of a sudden he just blurted it out,” you giggle. “'i love you’, and i look at him for a while, before i say it back.” Jack jumped onscreen. “No, you don’t understand. It was the longest pause of my life. I was so scared she wasn’t gonna say it back.” “Aw, how could i not?” You smiled and kissed his cheek.
Hayes- Shopping vlog
“And we’re here at Forever 21 because (y/n) wanted a new shirt or something.” Hayes said, filming you walking through the store. You stopped and looked through a rack. “Uhh, i definitely said i needed a new jacket.” You held a purple one over your face. “What about this one?” “Hmm.. Purples not really your color..” Hayes joked and you smacked him on the arm before kissing his cheek.