K but consider this: Link and Zelda being neighbors in an apartment

and I was trying to decide whether next-door neighboors or floor-above neighbors would be funnier but I figured that out quick

  • So Link lives in apartment 426 and Zelda moves into 326. She and Malon are so jazzed because it’s their first place ever, they’re both fresh out of college, and they have good entry level jobs
  • now i understand that that right there is an unrealistic fantasy but BEAR WITH ME
  • anyhow Zelda is so excited to start at work and she’s lying in her room trying to go to sleep and all she hears is BANGING on her ceiling
  • it’s 12:30 on a Tuesday night. what the fuck are those people doing??
  • but she is a civil person who is not grumpy AT ALL and just puts headphones in and goes to sleep
  • But as it turns out, this happens EVERY NIGHT
  • A couple days later she is getting her mail and notices a guy with a great butt like hot damn unlocking the 426 box so she says hi, gets his name, and as passive aggressively as possible tells him to keep it the fuck down
  • anyways that night as she’s going to bed she goes to pull her curtain closed and there, dangling by a string in front of her window, is a note that says “Sorry Princess ;)” 
  • And she doesn’t even have time to consider what he’s sorry for before she hears the music start to BLARE. 
  • So basically Zelda takes this as a declaration of war and begins plotting how she, too, can make his life miserable. Like a civil person who is not grumpy at all.
  • He has it easier because all he has to do is jump up and down but she is much more creative
  • Next time he wakes her up with the thumping she starts vacuuming her ceiling at 2 in the morning
  • Realizing what she’s doing, he gets competitive and the next night, he invites all of his friends out onto his balcony one night for drunk karaoke
  • she attaches a little speaker to his cat’s collar that’s connected to her phone and once he gets inside she blares never gonna give you up
  • He buys two retro DDR mats and him and Sheik start playing every night before bed
  • She climbs up onto the fire escape to open his window (idiot leaves it unlocked) and attaches a blowhorn to the outside so when he closes it he nearly goes flying 
  • Both of them are exhausted 100% of the time but spite and competitiveness keep them going.
  • One day Zelda catches Link trying to get her back and she nearly pushes him off the fire escape
  • They’re hopelessly attracted to each other tbh but they have literally NO contact besides these back and forth pranks so none of them give it up
  • Malon and Sheik don’t really know what’s going on but it starts keeping THEM awake and they get together and start figuring out how to broker peace
  • Malon drags Zelda to their apartment for dinner one night and while Zelda and Link start bickering at the table Sheik and Malon slip out 
  • Zelda doesn’t even notice that they’re gone and tries to storm back up to the room but Link’s front door won’t budge
  • (Sheik and Malon have barricaded the door from the outside with the help of one meddling front attendant) 
  • They try the fire escape but Malon is smarter than that and has that locked too
  • Anyway now Link and Zelda are forced to spend the night together 
  • And now they have all this free time because they don’t have to waste time pranking each other
  • And Link is like….”So……do you wanna play ddr?”

Imagine that Mina wants to stretch her athletic abilities beyond just having good reflexes and being decent at a few sports; she decides to enter a marathon. And everybody is really happy for her and wishes her well but they kind of forget about it after a while and assume she’s going to give it up after a few weeks. Except Ochako. Uraraka is there the whole entire time she’s training, encouraging her, cheering her on, helping her stay motivated for months! And when the race finally comes, she Mina’s BIGGEST FAN. Like she has posters and blowhorns and she drags every single member of class 1A to the race and places them in strategic locations so Mina will see an encouraging face the whole time sbes running and she puts herself at the end and by the time Mina approaches the finish line she is completely exhausted and dragging her feet until she sees Uraraka beaming and screaming her name at the end and it’s like her body suddenly weighs nothing at all and she has the strength to sprint through the finish and yeah she wasn’t even close to the first one done but she doesn’t even care because she did it, and Uraraka is there and she’s so proud and basically they love each other a lot.


The staff at the prerecording were watching ikon and saying amongst themselves, “these guys are going to be huge, it’s crazy”


The boys didn’t realize the mics picked up everything they said to the fans so they were teasing each other for being cheesy~t was ~3am so Yunhyeong was like “do you think the sun is up?” And Hanbin pointed to the stars in the stage bg and said “it’s still night!”


Hanbin: are you guys really coming to the concert tomorrow? Fans: YESSS Hanbin: :D really? Junhoe: they’d say yes even if they weren’t going


Hanbin touched Bobby’s butt and they started whispering and making dumb faces at each other


Hanbin: don’t your throats hurt? Fans: yes ㅠㅠ Hanbin: but we get so much strength from it ^^ Fans: [yells with the strength of 50 blowhorns]


The fans were telling Junhoe to get home safely and he was like “nope, I’ll be back soon”


Junhoe doesn’t speak in honorifics to the fans, he talks to them like close friends or a b…o….yf [redacted]


When one of the members mentioned that it was cold outside Hanbin came to the edge of the stage and opened his arms as if to hug the fans


The staff had to tell iKON to take their attention off the fans while they were on standby because they just couldn’t stay away 


The fan chants weren’t as loud and united as the PDs wanted, so one fan just yelled as loud as she could and after the recording, while she was drinking water she saw that Yunhyeong was staring at her. When they locked eyes he sent her a thumbs up and smiled.The fan was so shocked and excited, she didn’t know what to do and Yunhyeong bowed 90 degrees to her 


At one point the fans were singing airplane together but they all messed up the rap lyrics so Bobby made motions for them to stop LOL


Donghyuk: are you guys hungry? Fans: yesㅜㅜㅜ Chanwoo: Bobby hyung said he’d buy you foodㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Bobby: no!!!!!!


PD: please refrain from making noise during standby Fans: Hanbin: mic check Bobby: they said not to talk!!!!


There was a helicopter cam and the wind from it was so strong and the boys kept trying not to laugh


Someone yelled “Donghyuk I love you!” And he gave her a heart so everyone was all “DONGHYUK I LOVE U” from 360 degrees so he was surprised


PD: we need to adjust the mics so don’t say anything, don’t make any noise from now on fans: staff: ikon: OKAY


Hanbin: *practicing lyrics* Bobby: sing later. Donghyuk: shh


fan: JJANG!!! Bobby: AHHHHHHHH


Hanbin: did you eat? Fans: no Donghyuk: oh no… Hanbin hyung will hug you all warmly Bobby: don’t say impossible things


Junhoe had both earpieces in so he couldn’t hear what the fans said but he still nodded and smiled at them


Bobby wore checkered boxers yet again LOL


JInhwan gets on his knees at one point in airplane o-<-<


Bobby was complaining to the fans that maknae line and hanbin don’t call him hyung and then he was like “right, Kim jinhwan?!”


You could tell Hanbin was scared of the lift, he was shaking and laughing nervously and crouched down as it was getting lowered


One of the staffs was going up on a ladder so the fans were like “ooooohhh…….” and Yunhyeong laughed because they were cute


In Airplane, the part that goes “please stop for a minute” has a praying motion with it


ikon: IKONICS! do you like your name? fans: (laughing) Yunhyeong: you guys!!!


Junhoe and Donghyuk both have really deep voices when talking normally


According to Bobby, Donghyuk’s voice when talking to fans and normally is really different so fans asked them Donghyuk to show them


Bobby went over to the sofa and Jinhwan sat on his lap and they looked like a father and son


Junhoe: isn’t Donghyuk’s voice nice? Fans: YESSS Junhoe: you’re not all his fans are you? Fans: WE ARE!!! Junhoe: (oh)


When fans chanted for fan service Jinhwan crossed his legs back and forth 3 times and then tapped his butt


Hanbin was posing seriously with his eyes closed during airplane but he sneezed and then went back to posing 


Hanbin: are you all coming to the concert? fans: YES Hanbin: you saw us yesterday, today, and tomorrow… won’t you get tired of us :(


At the pre-recording Junhoe was like “wow, all of our fans are pretty”


While they were resting, fans yelled for ikon to do something so from Junhoe-Chanwoo-other members-Hanbin they all did some aegyo and crossed their legs but Yunhyeong stood up and did a peace sign really cutely


Chanwoo seemed a lot more confident near the end, saying hi to the fans and waving a lot~ Bobby kept encouraging him often too


Junhoe was doing fanservice and when a different side was like “over here too~!” Bobby pointed over to them and Junhoe went to them too


Fans kept telling iKON they were handsome so they started making ugly faces 


PD: were you just wearing one side this entire time? hanbin: yes! PD: aren’t you going to put your earpieces in? Bobby: !!!! *puts in earpiece* Junhoe: *acts like he had it in the whole time and puts it in*

Translated by iKONOT7

Good Morning

Human AU
FACE family
Words: 778

“Daddy! Daddy! I wrote a poem!”

Vaguely, Arthur smelled something cooking down the hallway. Crepes? Pancakes? Waffles?

It could be bacon-wrapped French toast and marmalade deep-fried in lard, and Arthur wouldn’t be able to tell. He was too tired, and his senses were still slowly shuffling to clock in for the day.


If people really wanted alarm clocks to do their job, the people making them would record whining toddlers.

Keep reading

Control Points: The Head

Disclaimer: The material present in this article is meant for academic study and writing only. It is not meant for instructional use in your everyday life.  This information will not be useful without physical instruction from a qualified instructor. If you are interested in this information within the context of self-defense, please seek out a martial arts school or self-defense program in your area. We are not liable for the harm you do to yourself or others with this information. We are also not liable for the legal ramifications that come with those actions.

In this article, we’ll discuss the weak target points on the head in order to help your fight sequences become more detailed.  The conventional martial arts advice is “where the head goes, the body follows”. The body has an instinctive desire to protect the head and face from attack, a clever fighter can trigger these instincts in a less (and even sometimes more) competent one by understanding how to use the body’s protective instincts against an opponent. A character can make these instincts work for them if they realize that they are there, they may learn to trigger them intentionally against someone else. They may not know on a conscious level or scientific level that they are doing it, they may simply be working off their combat experience or techniques that were taught to them by a more experienced instructor. They may not know how it works, just that it does. You, the author, need to know because you are the one who must relay these actions to the audience in your story. There is a vast difference between what an author must know and what a character may know, you are the deciding force behind the character’s actions and you must be able to communicate to the audience what happened in the scene. Fighting is, at its heart, a very sophisticated and scientific animal. To communicate it effectively requires a functional understanding of human behavior, bodily reactions, an understanding of the body’s physical form, and a good solid sense of physics.

So, today, we’re going to talk about the vulnerable places on the head and how they can be exploited in a multitude of different ways to distract a target and create openings in the guard that allow for finishing strikes. This won’t cover everything, but it should be enough to get you thinking.

Control Points:

The Skull: On the top of the forehead, there are dents in the skull where the plates are fused together. By placing pressure on these dents, one can effectively force the head to move in any direction (preferably backwards). The skull is made up of around eight different bone plates that are fused together. The places where they are structurally weak can be exploited. However, for the untrained or even general martial artist, these can be difficult to find in the confusion of combat.

The Hair: We covered a lot about the hair in a few articles, including Hair Pulling. The hair can in certain cases provide a good grip for fingers, be used to drag the head back or slam it forward. The hair follicles are all nerve endings which can cause pain (distraction) when pulled. If the brain is thinking about something else (ouch, ouch, it hurts!) it is less able to muster up the necessary concentration in order to fight back.

The Back of the Head: The bone in back of the head is actually much softer than the front. While it’s not a good striking point for hands, it is a common one for blunt force trauma using an object or by driving the head (when controlled using a control point, such as the hair) into something solid such as a wall or concrete. To abuse the back of the head in hand to hand, one must be facing their opponent. This usually only comes into play if they are close to a wall or on top of them when on the ground.

The Bottom of the Skull: The bottom of the skull, where the spine joins with the skull and the brain. It’s difficult to affect with hand to hand, but a strike from a knife, a sword, or a bullet can kill.

The Temple: The temple is an open gap and soft point that can provide direct access to the brain when struck. Pinpoint strikes may go here such as with the knuckles (in Taiji Chin Na), with the heel of the foot, or with a knife. Striking here will cause a loss of equilibrium and balance

The Forehead: The forehead is the densest and hardest point on the human body, which means that while a frontal assault is usually a pointless endeavor, bouncing the brain off it can get interesting. Much like the back of the head, the forehead can be a focus point for blunt trauma strikes (baseball bat, crowbar, tire iron, piece of wood) or be driven into a wall. Since the head must go back to go forward, someone driving the head into the wall or ground will have to be behind the individual. And in tips from Contemporary Knife Targeting by Michael Janich and Christopher Grosz: “Some traditional edged weapons systems such as Japanese iai-jutsu (sword drawing and cutting), purposefully target the forehead because it is highly vascular and, when cut, will bleed into the eyes, obstructing vision.” (20)

The Eyebrow: The eyebrow can be easily split or cut to bleed into the eyes, which is why it is such a popular one in professional boxing. Doing this with bare hands is not recommended because the forehead is so solid and one can cut their knuckles, which allows their opponent’s blood to mix with theirs, but it could be a priority target for someone wearing armor, brass knuckles, or using a knife.

The Eyes: The sense a human being relies on most is their sight, they cannot block what they cannot see. You know that instinctual reaction you have when you see something coming towards your face and know you can’t get out of the way; you squeeze your eyes shut? This is why. The body knows the eyes must be protected. Blind someone, temporarily or permanently, and they will have difficulty fighting back. This can be anything from blood in the eyes, to thrown dirt or sand, waving a knife blade near the eye, to faking out the peripheral vision by forcing someone to protect high when the attacker is actually going low. Moving towards the eyes will cause someone to flinch, while covering the eyes may cause them to panic. Strikes to the eye can be distraction based or lead to permanent injury, deep enough strikes to the optic nerve can cause unconsciousness, they can even kill by puncturing the brain (most commonly with a #2 pencil or a pen).

The Nose: We can go round and round about whether or not a palm strike to the nose can kill but, either way, the nose is a vulnerable target. Striking the nose, even if it doesn’t break, will cause swelling which can obstruct an individual’s vision, cause their eyes to water, and on impact to close. Placing the knuckle of the index finger directly under the nose and above the upper lip can be used to force the head back and the eyes up, creating openings for escape from grabs.

The Cheek: The cheek is a good control point because it can be used to drive the head sideways using the flat of the hand and create openings. A strike from an elbow coming in from the side can cause someone to bite their cheek hard enough to require stitches. Strikes to the cheekbone can lead to swelling and bruising, which can obscure vision.

The Mouth: We normally think of the mouth for biting, but the truth is getting knocked in the teeth really hurts. Knocking the head around can lead to someone biting through their tongue, biting their cheek, losing a tooth, all of which results in blood in the mouth. Enough blood in the mouth is a choking hazard and a hard enough bite can require a trip to a hospital, try to imagine how your characters would feel about spitting out their front tooth in the middle of a fight (or worse, a piece of their tongue).

The Jaw: The soft point at the back of the jaw where it connects to the skull is a vulnerable point that when struck can cause a knockout. However, the jaw has other uses too. Striking it specifically can lead to the jaw becoming unhinged or forcing it to clench (bite down), which means that it can chew into some of the mouth’s vulnerable places. This is why all sparring involves wearing mouth guards and why I side eye books that fail to mention mouth guards very hard. Most professional fighters will clench their teeth reflexively when they fight, those who spar will be practiced at breathing through their nose. They may or may not exhale through their mouth when fighting (mostly not).

Under the Jaw: Striking up under the jaw can cause the head to knock backwards, this is where some of the traditional palm strikes and uppercuts come in. However, a persona can also grasp under the jaw to control it (fingers should avoid the mouth or be bitten). The hand and forearm can also wrap around from behind and press up under the jaw to force head backwards, characters may do this when taking hostages or forcing someone else to look. A common way professionals will avoid taking a head butt from someone knocking their head backwards is to control the skull this way, allowing the neck no freedom of movement and pressing their cheek to their enemies’ ear.

The Ear: The ears, through sound, can control someone’s sense of equilibrium. Disrupt that and they may experience vertigo. The human being is very sensitive to sound and one of the best ways to screw with the brain is by hurting the ears. The ear is vulnerable to being boxed (two fists or palms come in on either side to strike inwards against the outside of the ears), they may be stabbed with a knife, or someone may scream into or use a blowhorn at close range (pressed up against the ear) to force a person to respond in a predictable manner (loss of balance, stumbling, falling over, etc).

Under the Ear: under the ear, there is a pressure point that when pressed can cause a substantial amount of pain. This pressure point is commonly taught in self-defense courses. A person who is familiar with this pressure point may also use it to stimulate response and keep themselves awake when tired.

This is by no means a comprehensive list and individual styles will all have their own methods and techniques of making use of these things.

Recommended Reading:

FightWrite: The Only Unfair Fight is the One You Lose Pt 2 (Brutality)

On Hair Pulling

Pulling Piercings

If you have a strong stomach:

Contemporary Knife Targeting by Christopher Grosz and Michael Janich is an interesting read. However, because the discussion is knives, it’s gory.

Taiji Chin Na by Doctor Yang, Jwing-Ming discusses the seizing art of Tai’chi and could be useful for those of you looking to learn about joint locking systems outside of Japan.

Clark: So Bruce, what brings you to the Planet today? Usually you only visit when you’ve gotten mixed up with some ridiculous looking wacko.

Lex: Well, well, well…

Bruce: And some things never change.

Lex: I thought I’d find you here Brucie, you know I have a team of high class lawyers who could do this, but I just had to give you the good news in person: I am suing you for defamation of character.

Lex: *To Clark* I was in New York hosting a Republican Party fundraiser with Mike Pence on the flight deck of the Intrepid. And your friend publicly insinuated that I was a homosexual.

Clark: … And?

Bruce: Oh Lex no! You must have misunderstood.


Bruce: *Sticks head out of helicopter as it flies closely over the Intrepid, holding a blowhorn* Attention Republicans: Lex Luthor is a homosexual. I repeat, Lex Luthor is a homosexual.

list of birthdays for all my ocs

a list of all my ocs birthdays ever!! this took me forever lol i have a lot

you should take a look through it and tell me if you share any birthdays lol!!

also im gonna a link to this on my page so i can keep track and remember a my boys birthdays!

Keep reading

Magcon Preference 1- The video you're featured in

 original idea from here credit to @aymagcon

i own none of these gifs

Carter- A Day in the Life of Carter

“And now I’m here with my wonderful girlfriend (Y/n).” Carter said vlogging to his camera. He was making a vlog of his entire day so people could see what he actually does when he’s not vining or at magcon. “Tell them what we’re doing.” he said turning the camera to you. “We’re just hanging out in my room, listening to some music, and getting ready to go out to dinner.” Carter pans the camera back to him as Justin Biebers “Confident” comes on. “Oh! Oh! Dance for me, (y/n)!” he says and you do the goofiest dance move you could think of.

Taylor- Worst Birthday Party Ever

“We’re headed to this really sucky party.” Taylor says sarcastically and turns the camera to you. “We’re going to this party my friend is throwing for my birthday, actually.” You say rolling your eyes at him. “Yeah, whatever. What do you say you and me ditch this joint and roll back to my house for a real party if you know what i mean.” Taylor says and winks at the camera. He turns it back to you just quick enough to catch you laughing at his stupid joke, as usual. “Shut up, Taylor, me and you both know you’re a virgin.” You say raising your eyebrows. “Wanna change that?” He says and you laugh while getting out of the car. He turns the camera back to himself. “Yeah, this party’s gonna suck.” He says under his breath

Aaron- Chicago Magcon- Start to Finish!

“I’ll miss you.” Aaron said looking at you. “Aw, thanks aaron, but I’m going with you, soo…?” Nash said busting in between you and Aaron, disturbing your hug. Aaron pouted and you stepped back embarrassed. “And now the love birds are gonna start crying. Oh, just kiss, you two.” Nash said and smushed you into each other’s arms, making you laugh. Aaron kissed you on the cheek and you hugged him. “I’ll see you soon, babe.” Aaron whispered in your ear.

Matt- Magcon San Fran Vlog

“So yeah, all of us are pretty tired. We never really get that much sleep because we just cant resist staying up all night when we’re together.” Matt says vlogging himself, looking around for something to talk about. “Oh, there’s the beautiful (y/n)” he says, turning the camera to you. “She doesn’t even look tired, look at her. How does she do it.” You hear him, and wave at the camera. “Do what?” You ask looking up at him. “Look absolutely flawless even on 4 hours of sleep.” He says and you grin. “Aw, I love you so much,” you say and bury your head in his chest, to his your blushing cheeks. Matt turns the camera and grins at it before shutting it off.

Nash- Twitter Dares and Pranks

“Okay, @omgnash1234 says ‘Prank (y/n).’” Nash read off of his twitter. He chuckled and smirked at the camera. “This’ll be fun.” After plotting what to do, he and Cameron grabbed the camera and started walking. “She’s actually right down the hall from me, since we’re at magcon right now.” Cameron was filming Nash’s back as he knocked on your hotel door. You looked out the peephole and saw Cameron grinning at you. Little did you know, Nash was hiding behind the door frame waiting to scare you. You opened the door, expecting to talk to Cam, and got a huge blowhorn in your face. You step back in shock, but then hear Nash’s laugh, which makes you laugh. “I hate you.” you said and lean against the door frame. “I know, babe.” Nash grabs your hips and kisses you. “Get a room.” Cameron says, and Nash slams the hotel room door in his face.

Cameron- Visiting Family!

“So we’re here at iHop in Cali!” Cam said filming his mom talking to the waitress. You and Cameron were visiting his family in between magcons, and had decided to go to the house of pancakes for dinner. “Sierra likes pancakes, what a loser.” Cam said zooming in and out on his older sisters face. “I am not a loser!” Sierra said defensively and reached over to hit him. “It’s okay, i love pancakes, so we can be losers together.” You said crossed your arms. “Aw, you pick good girlfriend’s, Cam!” Sierra said and pulled you into a hug. “I know”, Cameron said looking into your eyes and reaching for your hand.

Jack J- Magcon San Diego (Behind The Scenes)

You and Jack were sitting at a vacant magcon venue while everything was getting prepared. Unfortunately, you had nothing to do, so Jack pulled out his camera and started filming you. “(Y/n) a girl tries dieting for the first time but hates health food go” Jack said super fast, prompting an impromptu monologue of you as that character. “Apples,” you said and paused to take a bite out of the one you were currently holding, “are just so great for you and they’re just so healthy,” you say with your mouth full of apple. “and who cares if they taste nasty when they help your body and,” you swallow the rest of the apple and give the camera a disgusted look. “WHERE IS THE CLOSEST MCDONALDS??” Jack cracks up and turns the camera around to him. “And that is why she is my girlfriend, because she can make the most boring situation fun.”

Shawn- Badass Girl Music Video

“Okay, we just need a few shots of you and Shawn together.” The director said. You were onset for your boyfriend, Shawn Mendes music video for his first single, Badass girl. “Hey, Shawn, you wrote this song about me, right?” You say jokingly. “What? No, it was definitely about the girl before you. Whats your name again?” Shawn joked and you put your hands on your hips. He walked over and wrapped his arms around your hips. “Just kidding, babe.” He said and kissed you. “Perfect!” The director said and cut the scene.

Jack G- Interview (Y/n)

“Who said 'i love you’ first?” Jack J said to you offscreen, during your 'girlfriend interview’. “Well,” you smiled. “We were sitting on my roof watching the sunset. Very romantic, i know.” You said and rolled your eyes. You could see your boyfriend grinning off-camera. “We were talking, and all of a sudden he just blurted it out,” you giggle. “'i love you’, and i look at him for a while, before i say it back.” Jack jumped onscreen. “No, you don’t understand. It was the longest pause of my life. I was so scared she wasn’t gonna say it back.” “Aw, how could i not?” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

Hayes- Shopping vlog

“And we’re here at Forever 21 because (y/n) wanted a new shirt or something.” Hayes said, filming you walking through the store. You stopped and looked through a rack. “Uhh, i definitely said i needed a new jacket.” You held a purple one over your face. “What about this one?” “Hmm.. Purples not really your color..” Hayes joked and you smacked him on the arm before kissing his cheek.

( gif credit here )


“Sakura, please calm down.”

“That’s not how sporting events work, Sasuke-kun. You’re supposed to be loud. And Sarada needs to know that we support her.”

“I’m pretty sure she knows from the blown-up image of her face on your t-shirt.”

“That’s so other people know whose baby is dominating them.”

“Sarada is thirteen, Sakura.”

“And? You’re thirty-five, and I guarantee if your mother were alive she’d still be calling you her baby.”


“Now get off your butt and honk that blowhorn a little. Ino’s two seats in front of us, and she’s being insufferable with her glitter pompoms.”