blow and arrow

anonymous asked:

So I have a character who learned how to use a longbow when she was a child to hunt. My question is two-tiered: one, in what ways would that impact her physical development; and two, would this help her if she needed to use a bow against people?

Strong shoulders, strong arms.

In all honesty, the bow is a weapon you build to as a hunter. The first weapon she’d have learned was the sling. More useful for small game, and you can be deadly accurate with it. The David versus Goliath story in the Bible isn’t actually a joke or overblown. A child taking down a grown adult with a rock and a sling is entirely plausible if said adult isn’t wearing a helmet. The sling is the weapon of children everywhere, shepherds and hunters. In many parts of the world, they still use it. It’s also better for small game. Katniss would’ve done better braining the squirrels with a sling rather than a bow, like children do.

As a child, she’d be trained on a child’s training bow and work her way up the different types of bows practicing on a single target. The longbow is a weapon that requires a fairly hefty amount of upper body strength to wield, and she’d have to work and train up into her early teens before she was allowed to use it for hunting. The amount of strength you can draw dictates how far the arrow flies and how deep it penetrates. Depth of penetration is important, as is how far the arrow flies. Both define how close you need to be to your target in order to be successful. Herbivores don’t stand around waiting for a predator to kill them, and carnivores might just decide turnabout is fair play.

So, most of her childhood was spent on dummy duty with her bow as she learned to clean and care for it. Learning to stand, and that’s a whole series of lessons. Learning how to string the bow, learning how to hold it, learning to draw before she was ever allowed to shoot.

What whoever was training her would set her on before that is the other skills, and she’d act as a gopher for them the way all apprentices do. Following behind the older hunter, carrying their equipment, watching them and acting under their direction. You can’t hunt if you can’t find game, and you can’t eat it if you can’t clean it.

Hunting comes with a necessary subset of skills which allow the hunter to work. They don’t just go out into the woods and kill shit then come back. It requires patience. It involves waiting in one place for an animal to come by, sometimes for days. Traps, tracking, reading sign, learning to move through the underbrush without disturbing it, hiding your scent, etc.

Your hunter will catch more food that they eat on the regular with snare traps set for rabbits and other small game than they will with the bigger game like deer. Bigger game takes more investment, more energy, and a lot more luck. There’s also a higher chance of injury.

There are plenty of herbivores that won’t go down quiet, deer included. If your hunter hits wrong and they sense/smell them, there’s always the chance they won’t run and will come right in after the hunter. Animals have “fight or flight” too, and a doe can gore you just as well with her hooves as a buck can with his antlers. Any poor soul chased up a tree by a moose or just gut checked by a horse can tell you, herbivores are assholes. On an unlucky day, they’ll kill you just as well as a carnivore and that’s if you can find them at all.

The chances of managing a “one hit kill” with an animal like a deer are low and, even if you land a killing blow, they’re not just going to fall over dead. You’ve got to be able to follow it, recover the body, and kill it as it lies there bleeding out on the ground if necessary. You’ve also got to have some way to carry it back. Then, there’s the risk you run with whether the herd animals will return to the same place or move somewhere else if too many of their number die. If they do, and they’re your primary source of food, then you’ve got to move with them. Nevermind that there are quite a few animals a bow is simply no good for, like bears and boars. Where you need other tools like dogs and spears.

Hunting is a complicated business, and it doesn’t come with any guarantees.

Now, those skills do translate over well on a certain level to dealing with humans. Though, it’s not the weapon skills so much as the other less flashy ones. Many scouts in medieval armies, for example, were hunters of one sort or another. As were the foragers tasked with feeding them. The ability to tell how many people passed, where they passed, and what they brought with them from the tracks left on the roads or in the hills was a valuable ability. The ability to move through the woods without being seen, to hide your passing, to tell who is breaking trail, and to find their camps was also helpful.

The Ranger class in DnD is built on the hunter. You want a character who has more in common with Aragorn than Katniss. Aragorn uses a bow, but it’s not his only weapon.

The reason for this is that the bow isn’t a great weapon for close quarters. More importantly, it takes time to prepare. You don’t travel with it strung, as that wears out the string. If the string is no longer taut when strung then you can’t fire the bow. You don’t travel with the wood left to the elements. It needs to be wrapped, and packed away. Constantly be oiled to maintain its elasticity/limberness so it can be drawn. A dried bow is a bow you can’t pull, no matter how strong you are. You also can’t get it wet. It’s a weapon which takes a lot of prep in order to be used, a lot of care, a lot of maintenance, more than average, and a lot of hard work.

When you’re in, say, a military or part of a raiding force that knows its attacking then that’s great. Or someone who is on watch for certain periods during the day and will be relieved by another, that also works. Or when you’re sitting alone in the woods waiting for an animal to come by. However, the necessary prep time a bow requires is a lot less helpful when you’re taken by surprise.

By the time you’ve taken it out, unwrapped it, strung it, you’re dead. The enemy was also probably too close for the bow to really be of help anyway. Its a weapon which requires distance. Awesome when you’re pegging people from the ramparts, halfway up a tree, or fifty to a hundred feet off. Less so when they’re standing over you, axe in hand. The traditional role of archers in a military structure is artillery, and not that different from how we use the modern one. Their purpose is bombardment, they soften up the enemy so the vanguard can break their lines and kill them.

There is one kind of single combat the bow is useful for: stalking.

The bow is a silent weapon, and when used in a hunter-stalker mode, can be terrifyingly effective. It’s a stealth weapon, meant for ghosting in and ghosting out as you pick your enemies off. However, this kind of combat requires a proactive mindset and a willingness to get your hands dirty.

It’s also vindictive and, from the perspective of most modern morals, it’s cruel.

Humans are no more lucky than animals when it comes to hunting. The bow is the slow death. No character, no matter their skill level, is going to be guaranteed clean kills. However, what they do get is debilitating blows. An arrow through an arm, a leg, or better a lung, is going to take enemies out of the fight and if they’re not dead yet then potentially another one with them. Harassment is the order of the day. The slow path of carving off opponents, damaging them so they can’t fight back, following as they try to run, before moving in for the kill.

It’s a predatory style of combat, it is (really) just hunting. Hunting humans instead of animals. The terrifying form of combat that haunts so many horror movies. It’s psychological warfare.

However, it’s the kind of combat that takes time, patience, and a strong stomach. It’s up to you to decide if that’s the kind of combat you envisioned for this character to participate in. Or the kind of story you want to tell.

People embrace the Predator and Lara Croft from Tomb Raider (2013), and countless others that have this particular combat style.

It might, however, behoove you to consider coming up with other weapons this character has familiarity with. From knives, to traps, to fishing lines, to other more improvised weapons built on the fly. This character has a range of options within their skillset, and there’s no need to stick to just one.

Also we have a bow tag, and an archery tag for past discussion on this subject.

-Michi

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So yesterday we talked about how Robin Hood made friends with John “Little John” Little, and maybe you are craving some more Real Deal Robin Hood, but there’s also the distinct possibility that you are hoping today’s story of the day also involves more of those riverside fights to the death between psychopaths. If you want more of both, BOY, HAVE I GOT GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, because today, we are going to talk about how Robin Hood made friends with his other famous ally: Friar Tuck. And YES, it also involves riverside violence, because Robin Hood is a psychopath and that is his only way of making meaningful bonds with others.

RIGHT, so this happens a while after Robin and John have become even bigger threats to society by combining their savagery. There’s like three hundred odd bandits in the Murderous Mass of Merry Men now, their mansion has received some expansions, courtesy of all that money they were totally giving to the poor SNRK and Robin was pretty famous by now. So Robin and the lads were shooting arrows at animals just for kicks, because killing shit is the only consistent hobby a psychopath has, and he decided “YO BUT LET’S KILL COOLER”, so they started aiming at farther and farther away animals, until the only two that could land their shots were Robin and John. 

Now, Robin is kinda really into John, so he’s like “MAN, YOU AND I, WE’RE SO– THERE’S NO ONE BETTER THAN US AT HIGH PRECISION SENSELESS KILLING IN THIS BARBARIC LAND OF THE 1400′s ENGLAND ” because Robin is really proud of their murderous bromance.

But before Robin could get down on one knee and present a ring of engagement to John “Steroids” Little, a resounding “WAIT!” echoed in the forest. “You two are good at high precision senseless killing. Pretty good. But I know someone better than you at high precision senseless killing. He kills things with more precision and less sense than you.”

“NANI” yelled Robin Hood, drawn in chalk in the style of 1980′s anime. “Who the HELL are you talking about, Will Scarlet!”

OK QUICK INTRO: Will Scarlet is another one of Robin Hood’s lads. The youngest one and a passionate youth, he was the finest, best swordsman in the Merry Men, while Robin Hood was the best archer, and John “Hercules’ Bigger Cousin” Little was the best staff wielder (also a really good archer). He was famous for not sucking Robin’s dick despite being loyal to him.

“Well, see, over yonder by The River” elaborated the swordsman “there’s this friar that is even more of an uncouth savage that you two put together”.

“WELL THIS WON’T DO, NO ONE IS A LOWER LIFE THAN ME” and with his arse chaffed by jealousy and his eyes full of Studio Ghibli tears, our man Hoodie grabbed his utensils of murder and went to meet this friar, stomping his feet like the psychopathic manchild he was.

Now, finding a friar in a forest shouldn’t be too hard by itself, because friars are not usually alone in the middle of a forest by a river, but in case there was any doubt, Robin Hood, astute fox, immediately realized that that particular friar by the river was the one he was looking for. Not because he is, like, intelligent and wily or anything, but because, see, when I say “friar”, you imagine this

but what stood in front of Robin was more like

In his usual eloquent and poetic demeanor, Robin Hood let out a “holy fucking shit what” and reconsidered his life choices that led to this moment. That sure was a friar, alright, but he was packing. Weapons, cool armor, the hundred yard stare of someone who was Seen Some Shit, this guy had it all. Are you familiar with the souhei (warrior monk) Musashibo Benkei? The guy that camped out in a bridge and beat people who passed by and stole their weapons? And who ended up with 999 weapons he stole from people he defeated? Ok so this friar was the western equivalent of Benkei, in that you did not fuck with this friar.

Robin Hood, however, is not an intelligent lifeform, so as soon as he got over his initial, visceral fight-or-flight reaction, he was like “EH” and went to face him, anyways.

And by “went to face him” I obviously mean that Hoodie went and told him “hey dude, carry me across this river”. And the heavily armed friar, as you do, SILENTLY picked Robin up and, uh, carried him. At this point, Robin’s brigand mind was a string of 0s and 1s because he could not fucking compute this dude didn’t attack him for disrespecting him like that and instead just silently complied. Well, whatever, free piggyback, Robin is happy.

But as soon as they get to the other side of the river, the friar says “hey, do me a solid and carry me across the river, mang”. OH, SO THAT WAS HIS GAME. Robin picks him up and returns the favor, because piggybacks are awesome. As soon as they get back to the other side, Robin immediately says “hey HEY carry me across this river”, and the friar is like yeah alright it’s not like this is a huge waste of time, so he lifts Robin and starts carrying him again, but in the middle of crossing the river, PSYCHE the friar legit powerbombs Robin against the river. PRAAANKED.

Robin gets up, screams “KISAMA!!! and boss fight music begins to play as he gets his longbow out and starts shooting arrows at the friar, who deflects every single one of them with his shield. “K-kisama…” silently screamed Robin in a very tiny voice when he saw that his signature move had been completely invalidated and was forced to draw his sword to engage Mega Ultra Friar in melee combat. Robin really oughta stay away from rivers because he only ever almost dies near them.

But Robin was a pretty good swordsman in his own right, so they go left and right, swish and swoosh, until they both get tired. The friar has the upper hand on principle of his superior equipment, and also because he’s a Dark Souls boss. Seeing this, Robin remembers he is an outlaw and shouldn’t be playing by the rules, so he grabs his horn and blows it three times, which is the “HELP ME, I SOILED MY DIAPERS, LADS” signal. Almost immediately, Robin’s whole gang of happy killmen turn up and surround the Raid Boss Friar. The friar, however, looked nowhere as terrified as he should look for a tired man outnumbered 300-to-1. He simple put his fingers on his mouth and whistled three times.

“HEY YOU DUMBO” Robin yelled “I’m the one with the bandit gang, so whistling three times is not going to–” but before Robin could finish his tantrum, a rumbling noise surrounded the battlefield. One of the Merry Men looked to the source of the sound and yelled “DOGS…!”, which would usually be a great thing, except these were very angry, very murderous hounds that began attacking the Merry Men. 

Things Robin Hood Didn’t Account For: The friar having a personal army of dogs.
Things The Friar Had: A personal army of dogs.

Around 300 dogs appeared, matching each Merry Man head by head, and all out bandit-versus-dogs war was unleashed. Bandits using swords to defend themselves, dogs dodging skillfully and catching arrows with they mouth (LITERALLY, THAT IS WHAT THE BALLAD SAYS), fucking John “Hulkmania” Little fighting for his life as a dog wanted to french kiss his jugular, it was PANDEMONIUM. The fight goes on and Robin tells John to PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, so John activates the Kaio Ken times 10 and kills like two dozens of dogs with staff blows and arrows because he is kind of a big deal, and the friar is like “dude no don’t kill my dogs, can we reach a compromise?”, and of course, Robin, the sensible guy, says “yeah, if you join our band of murderous and dangerous criminals, we can all be happy together and ransack Nottingham and her roads”. Of course, the friar, a man of the cloth, a servant of our lord Jesus Christ, passionately answered “YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK TWICE” because he sure as hell loves senseless violence as much as these psychopaths, and he finally found a band of men dangerous and vile enough for him to feel comfortable with, for him to call “his brethren”.

And that’s the story of how Robin Hood recruited a boss fight into his party. And all of his dogs. They christened him “Friar Tuck” because his real name, “Ultra Friar Arnold Schwarzenegger On Steroids” wasn’t as catchy.

Some guy that keeps replying to me on my YouTube comment is convinced that Oliver and the new Canary or Black Siren are going to get together (despite it never being implied) and that they’re going to stop writing for felicity (a main character) so that they can take over her role instead. That way it will be more like the comics because Oliver is destined to be with some form of a Canary… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
Did they not watch the last episode? If that thing didn’t scream ‘We’re most likely getting back together in season 6’ then I don’t know what else to say

Then again, they also said that superhero shows should be all action and only 5 minutes relationship (because who needs character growth and interaction when you could have people punching each other for half an hour straight) so I don’t trust their judgement on quality story telling.

The Tandem of Ladybug and Chat Noir: Why Ladybug Needed Chat Noir

Introduction The Tandem of Ladybug and Chat Noir: Light and Shadow, http://heravenueexpert.tumblr.com/post/138943587223/the-tandem-of-ladybug-and-chat-noir-light-and

The Tandem of Ladybug and Chat Noir: Why Chat Noir Needed Ladybug, http://heravenueexpert.tumblr.com/post/138944404618/the-tandem-of-ladybug-and-chat-noir-why-chat-noir

A continuation. 


On the intro, I’ve discussed how the tandem of Ladybug and Chat Noir work. On the second post, I’ve post why Chat Noir needed Ladybug.

Then what about Ladybug?

We had been constantly shown that Ladybug can stand on her own (which is great, because this shows that girls can take the lead). But this also earned criticism from other fans, saying that Chat Noir is being sidelined in order to become foil for Ladybug to shine.

Apparently, they are quite disappointed in how Chat Noir is being treated. They understand that this is to highlight LB but the problem lies in the fact that they feel that one doesn’t need to downplay a man’s worth in order to show and prove a woman’s strength.

In which they got a point, and I understand where they are coming from. But at the same time, I disagree. Chat Noir is still important and not being as badly treated as what you think he is?

Here’s the thing, the reason they are disappointed is that they are pushing the idea that Chat Noir is supposed to shine in the same stool as Ladybug since they are partners.

In which case, I quite disagree. First off, Chat Noir is the deuteragonist of the series and like what I said on my first post, he is the shadow. His purpose is not to shine on the same spot as Ladybug, but be the one who supports her back. They have different roles in the story.

Chat doesn’t need to lead, that’s Ladybug’s role as she is the one who purifies. They are the Yin and Yang of this series.

And in Miraculous, Ladybug is the Yang (which is unusual because it’s often associated with Male). Ladybug is the lead because her power is Good Luck, that which creates and brings order. Chat Noir is the passive and submissive one because he is the Yin, he represents the negative and dark side of the spectrum.

And even if Chat is the submissive one in this pair, it doesn’t devalue his worth. They need each other to bring peace and order in their world.

The disappointment came from the wrong expectation of Chat’s role.

They want an episode where Chat save Ladybug? They may not have noticed, but he had done that plenty of times already.

Excuse the blurry picture (I don’t have GIFs)

The Bubbler

Mr. Pigeon

And also the Evillustrator where he break out of the cage with Marinette.

A few examples of Chat’s contribution that isn’t much appreciated. Fans are aware of them, yes, but they tend to concentrate and squee more on the LadyNoir moment.

There are many other moments of this but isn’t appreciated much because it doesn’t contribute to the defeating of the akuma, but the context is still the same. It’s Chat Noir who breaks  Ladybug out of tight situations. If Chat Noir isn’t there, how do you expect her to get out of the Bubble? Or the cage? The only thing I can imagine her do is to use her Lucky Charm which will summon objects that will help her.

But I doubt Luck Charm will give her an item that will destroy, the things she summons were usually just your everyday and harmless objects. And Lucky Charm shouldn’t be used too early in the game.

Of course, that’s just a weak example. I just wanted to mention that for fans to appreciate the “little” things he do which is shove aside just because it doesn’t “contribute” in defeating akumas. And again, I say that defeating of Akumas is Ladybug’s role because she is the lead, the Yang that cleanses and brings order.

But if you want the stronger ones, then there’s also the latest episode (which ironically was what brought people’s complaint). Guys, Chat just saved Ladybug’s skin there. You can’t shove it out as nothing just because it doesn’t directly contribute in defeating Marionnettiste. If it wasn’t for him, Hawkmoth would have taken away her Miraculous, and even if he doesn’t (say they managed to get it back), he would have known her true identity and that’s the same as “game over”.

But this isn’t really the reason why Ladybug needs Chat Noir. As what people kept on commenting about, Ladybug can handle herself and doesn’t need Chat Noir.

In which I disagree again. Yes, Ladybug can handle her own, but she still need  Chat Noir.

Why?

Like I said, he fills in the gap that she doesn’t have. But it’s more than that, actually.

I think Chat Noir is absorbing and taking away all the bad luck that Ladybug receives.

I read somewhere that in the original PV, Ladybug is not allowed to abuse her power because she’ll receive bad luck instead. And in the PV, you can see Marinette receiving bad luck such as being splashed with mud by a passing car (in which she smiled as if it can’t be helped).

Now this is just an interpretation on my part, but I think the reason why they didn’t show the idea in the CG about Ladybug receiving bad karma if she use too much luck as well as Chat having a curse of Bad Luck is because. . .

Ladybug and Chat Noir cancel each other’s curses.

Chat Noir doesn’t have the curse anymore (even though Adrien’s life still sucks) because Ladybug is the one who bring good luck to his life. Ladybug doesn’t receive anymore bad luck from using her powers (although her clumsiness bring her trouble) because Chat is the one who is absorbing and receiving it for her.

As in really. This may not have been explicitly said, but if you look through the episodes, you’ll notice this. Chat always get the short end of the stick. He’s the one who receives all the attacks that would come to her as well as the one who gets the worst of the situation instead of Ladybug.

Now, whether this is a simple coincidence or intended, this fact remains true.

In Dark Cupid, he took the blow of the arrow for her. If Ladybug receives it, there’s no saving her because she is the only one who can purify Dark Cupid. He saved her from real danger, sadly, this made him the danger for her instead.

In the Timebraker, he -again - received the blow that was intended for her.

In the Pharaoh, he had to take an army of mummies. And while they are slow and dull-witted, the numbers can still be overwhelming for our heroes. But he had to take them on for LB to finish the akuma. The same happened in Dark Blade, where he had taken an army of knights while waiting for LB. And I must say that he actually held his self well considering he’s fighting well-equipped and armored knights compared to the mummies.

I think it’s Chat Noir’s bad luck that gets him in tight situation and because that is his aspect, he also receives Ladybug’s bad luck which in turn, leave her freely to do her duties and in turn, bring good luck to him.

Chat Noir is essential to Ladybug. And even if the cancelling of curses is my own interpretation, there are plenty of circumstances where Chat save Ladybug even if it isn’t eminent. He gives her voice of reason(if she’s being too emotional), he protects her, he saves her from harm, and he tanks for her.

Just because he isn’t highlighted, doesn’t mean that his contribution in the team is nothing and not important. He is the essential character who brings balance in the team. That is why they are partners in the first place.

So the fact that Ladybug can stand on her own? Yes, she can and has proven it. Ladybug not needing Chat Noir? Certainly not.

I will also appreciate if there’s a Chat-centric episode but to say that Chat is being downplayed as a character is dismissing his role and contributions in the team as a whole. I find that sad, especially since his role is supposed to contrast Ladybug. Chat is already essential.

Episode 17 already showed how important they are to each other. Just because the next episode showed how well Ladybug can handle herself, doesn’t disprove that fact. He even saved her there, even if he ended up being controlled like a puppet.

As I’ve said earlier, Ladybug won’t last long if Chat isn’t there. She would have been defeated long ago because she’s lacking her other half. But if these two are together, they can save Paris from any day from any villains :)

Pointless Numbers

He’d been chosen for the landing party for the experience. Captain Kirk had deemed it safe enough for some of the less experienced personnel to get some… well, experience. It’s a class M planet with no entities detected outside of the plant life at least insofar as the Enterprise’s scanners are capable of detecting. Wisely Captain Kirk has chosen a few well-trained and experienced crew as well as the few green officers:

The infamous “Cupcake” and two of his guardsmen.

Commander Spock, of course, and two of his science crew both of whom are women.

Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy and two male nurse trainees.

Captain Kirk, Hikaru Sulu and himself.

Neat and tidy.

Until their exploring stirred up the natives from underground. Now they’re holed up in a cave, waiting for daylight and a way out that won’t get them all killed. One of the science officers took a glancing blow from an arrow, but Dr. McCoy has patches her up already. Currently, he and Hikaru are standing to either side of the cavemouth, far enough in that they cannot be seen from outside, but that they can see out, on guard while the two guardsmen and “Cupcake” scout further into the cave.

Commander Spock and Captain Kirk are conferring in very soft voices, very close together in a dark corner visible mostly because of Kirk’s gold shirt. Pavel looks down at his own Navigator uniform and licks his lips. He is nervous to say anything, but…

“Hikaru?” he keeps his voice low as he addresses his best friend.

Hikaru looks up and responds with a soft, “Yeah?”

“Ve are targets, aren’t ve? Our shirts. Zhey are too bright. Ve should sweetch zhem viz our black undershirts.”

The other Navigator looks down at his chest, then over to Captain Kirk, and Pavel can see the moment he understands. Pavel watches as Hikaru, far more comfortable with Captain Kirk than Pavel is, stoops, retrieves a rock from the cave foor, and throws it at Captain Kirk’s back. Commander Spock catches it deftly and he and Captain Kirk move over to them in silence. Hikaru then nods at Pavel, who licks his lips and stares at his superior officers with wide eyes.

He’s twenty-two now, but he can count the number of times his crew has turned to him for anything more than elite mathematical comoutation and laying in coordinates on one hand. Then Dr. McCoy looms up over Captain Kirk’s other shoulder and Pavel’s mouth goes dry and his throat all but closes right up. Captain Kirk is devilishly good looking, and Commander Spock is alluring in that exotic way he himself so gracefully ignores, but Dr. McCoy…

Chief Medical Officer McCoy is the type of man his Mamah, back home in Russia, would coo over and praise Pavel for bringing him into their family. If Pavel were a young woman instead of a young man. Daily he is grateful for his early emancipation and his enrollment within the Starfleet Academy. With handsome men like Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, and most especially Dr. McCoy, and of course with the prominence of intellect not far from his own alongside a stellar crew of misfits similar to hinself, he is equally grateful to have been assigned to the Enterprise. After all, he could bw serving under very old men with no ability for forward thinking.

Pavel drops his eyes, sliding a helpless look to Hikaru. He is not helpless nor is he afraid of Captain Kirk or even Commander Spock, but Dr. McCoy present another problem. One often felt most when Dr. McCoy is looking at him as he is now, with that furrowed brow that just screams his impatience. His supposed best friend Hikaru is watching the cave entrance like a cat waiting for a mouse to leave his hole. Knowing he is totally on his own now, Pavel looks back to the Triumvirate and licks his lips again.

‘How best to say this?’ he wonders to himself his mind pulsing fast as lightning translating between his thoughts in his native Russian tongue and their closest English translation.

anonymous asked:

peri and in... laslow fluff pls I love these 2 dorks

  • Laslow is always flirting with Peri, constantly hitting on her and Peri finds this so incredible, like they’re never like the other boring couples being so “far along”. Thanks to Laslow’s antics, it’s always like the first time they met. 
  • Peri is INFATUATED with Laslow and will stare at him just admiring his beauty for hours, which of course embarrasses poor Laslow who just ends up covering his face with his hands. 
  • Peri then kisses the back of his hands over and over until he moves them away to let her actually kiss him properly. 
  • The two of them are always getting in trouble with Xander for spending too much time goofing off with one another. One time Peri snapped and said Xander was being a meanie because he was jealous he couldn’t get laid. 
  • Xander then promptly separated the two for an entire week as punishment. It was torturous. 
  • Peri is really protective of Laslow. She will describe in meticulous detail how she will destroy anyone trying to steal her precious darling from her. 
  • This also applies to Laslow when his flirtatious habits cause him to be a little too close to other women. 
  • In turn, Laslow is always there by Peri’s side during battles. He refuses to let his beloved receive a single blow. Once an arrow nearly struck Peri’s shoulder. That archer was not a happy camper when Laslow found him. 
  • Peri is the PERFECT mother to Soleil, and she’s always doting on her daughter, spoiling the gay baby, and Laslow always has to step in to make sure Soleil doesn’t slack off on her responsibilities. Peri always gets upset when Laslow does this, and throws a tantrum. 
  • Laslow then realises he’s married a 10-year-old.