In Death (2016)

In this life
Someone has to play the part
and Slip into the mold
Of the bad guy
Someone to shoulder the blame
That you can’t keep holding up
In death there has to be a hero
Someone to give you faith
Amidst all of the hard stuff
and In turmoil
There has to be an antagonist
Some kind of asshole
That’s running the show
and In truth
I’ve spent a lifetime
Perfecting the art
Of being cruel, to be kind
It’s not a life I would wish upon anyone
but It seemed like such a good idea
At the time

and We speak
Speak of the awful things I did
How I broke every promise
and Stole from you, your innocence
How I’m never anything shy
Of merciless
Sometimes I forget
That I’m a good guy beneath
All this

You know, the words
They’re just words and
They’re meaningless

but As the one who knew better
I felt obliged
To let the fire burn out
Because I couldn’t leave you behind
but I could barely stand
To be in my own skin
and You can hate me for a lifetime
You may fear me for even more
After the bloodshed
Came the rain
and It washed away the red
From the blades
There was an orange hue to the sky that morning

I saw you standing there
Your dress blowing in the wind
You had the darkness all around you
and You were so elegant
Shotgun in hand
There’s a backdrop of a
Swing hanging from a tree
and Flashing in clips
I saw the noose
I just wish
It hadn’t had to
End like this

in a blip the lights went out
this hollowed ringing in my ears
the sweat, i could smell the sweat
and the ripping of the flesh
from the bones
you came to me
you held my hand
as the evil things
they did their biding
but the girl with the shot gun
you, you never shied from me
your eyes, they stayed affixed on mine
in death you were always there
until the bitter end

- Natalie Fern Bell (2016)