blood and ice cream

oh my god. so do you ever tweet something stupid like “a yoi vampire au where victor let yuuri bite him during the sochi banquet”, and then your entire tl gangs up on you and makes you contemplate this in vivid detail until words come out.


Everyone knew that Yuuri Katsuki was a vampire.

It wasn’t much of a problem, these days. Viktor had had a vampire rinkmate once, when he’d just moved up to the junior division. Ivan hadn’t been any stronger or faster, and he’d only shrugged when Viktor asked about the blood.

“It’s like – wanting ice cream,” he’d tried to explain. “It’s good if you have it, but you don’t need it, yes?”

That’s what centuries of defensive breeding did for you. Humans far outnumbered vampires, after all.

So Yuuri Katsuki was a vampire, which didn’t mean as much as “Yuuri Katsuki has level 4 spins but can’t land a quad Salchow,” and Viktor wouldn’t have thought any more about it except that Yuuri Katsuki placed sixth at the Grand Prix Final in Sochi and got very drunk at the banquet, after.

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Date a boy with syrupy blood fizzling under his skin, lips smooth and cool like chocolate ice cream, hair as pillowy as cotton candy and twice as soft, a voice like a ringing bell with words so sweet they melt off of his tongue and bring you back to a simpler, kinder time.

Hamilton Yandere Headcanons

(I love Yanderes too much omehgowd!)


-Writes his victims an anonymous warning before his kills

-Befriends 90% of his Victims before the kill

-Almost always goes to the funeral and speaks

-Makes a public message about it and blames the killings on a sick freak

-Staged an attack on himself

-Kills by using a pistol or strangulation

-Uses Jefferson’s cane as a weapon very often(Only For Jamilton)

-Doesn’t have time for long kills but enjoys them

-Writes in his victims blood from time to time

-Says its red ink from France


-Stalks his Victims

-Sings/hums before his kills

-Rarely is seen with his Victims before their death

-Never talks to his “Senpai” willingly

-Lets his Senpai’s best friend live but scares them horribly(Only Burrmads)

-Buys his Love endless gifts

-gives the gifes to his love but says it from some serect admirer

-Kills with a blade

-Frames others

-during his years as a laywar he had three or more men jailed for his crimes

-makes kills as long and painful as he can

-“Want to just end it? You have to wait for it”

-Plans out everything


-Will go as far as too fly you out to France just to kill you

-Has a blade hidden in his cane

-Kills only using his cane and bare hands

-Plays endless mind games

-Talk shit about Ham? He’ll bury you alive(Jamilton…..Clearly)

-Isn’t only protective about his love. He’ll kill for his friends too

-Moans his love’s name during the kill

-Has used the blood of a victim in Ice cream he made

-Feed it to the victims family

-Has done the same thing with his blood but he feed that to his love

-Will hide the body under his own bed if he has too


-fakes being sick 50% of the time to appear weak

-Gives off a sickeningly sweet smile before his kills.

-Normally used a chainsaw for his kills

-after killing, he normally sneaks into Burrs house and steals something(BurrMads…….Again clearly)

-Writes in a diary about his kills and his Love

-Refers to his Love as Daddy/Mommy

-Keeps the body around for a few days to defile it

-Has a whole room filled with anything and everything about his Love


-Protects Laf and Alex Like its no body bitness to be honest(Washette/Father-Son Whamilton)

-Is protective of his love and close friends

-Kills with a shot gun

-Will cut his Victims up and feed it to his dogs

-Has send body parts of his victims to his Love

-“If I find you anywhere near my son…..I mean Alexander I will personally end you”

-Is mostly likely befriends with his love(Think of that song “Jenny”)

-Is loud all the time but when killing you never hear him

-Uses simple things like darts to kill

-Will sew your skin into a dress

-Attacks with darts and needles

-You’ll hear him coming (Trust me you will)

-Will Befriend you to make you not be cautious

-Seems like a loud sweetheart with dreams

-Actually is very cold inside…..still loud though

-Actually has a backstory as to why he’s a Yandere(Idk yet give me a day or so)

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Try running the ice cream scoop under warm water beforehand. Also, blood comes out with enough soda water.

Taurus: Find enlightenment in draining all the water from your body.

Gemini: One of the walls in your home is very not real. Im sure you have your suspicions as to which one.

Cancer: Show your curiosity to the world by carving a question mark into your forehead with a bread knife.

Leo: The time for peaceful conversation is gone. Break something or be broken.

Virgo: Fear offers comforts that the waking world cannot.

Libra: Its possible to think someone is weird as hell but also let them do their thing. Bathe in the insanity of the world.

Scorpio: We cannot help with some fights. This is not your fault.

Ophiuchus: There is freedom in a slip n slide.

Sagittarius: Your perception skills can be a double edged sword. We are not meant to know some things.

Capricorn: X marks the spot. The spot you should stay very very far away from.

Aquarius: Do not try to be anyone but yourself under penalty of death.

Pisces: Nobody ever admits everything. This is for the best. You do it too.

earth an·gel

/ərTH ˈānjəl/


  1. I threw myself into the void, but the void placed me gently back on shore and said darling you will be remembered, not for who you are, but you failed to be. So, I told the void fuck off and dived right back in, these seawater lungs gulping down lifeblood, this is a stinging baptismal rebirth.
  2. I wake up to fluorescent lights in the hospital, and  desperately rip out needles they injected in me, devil tendrils pulsing in life I do not want. Ten hands hold me down, and I scream this is my last rite, the doctor says that is a classic case of delusions of grandeur to the scared interns and there is a prick on my neck and everything goes dark.
  3. The galaxy is eating me, and this non-oxygenated blood circles in my lungs, making my heart and everything so devastatingly blue blue blue, I am so daringly mortal, in my self-destructive tendencies, that these veins can’t take any more pinprick points before they burst. The galaxy whispers this is how a junkie looks, this is how an angel self-destructs. 
  4. I claw my way out of my own lungs, in a different world, my hospital gown hangs off me as my back bends and breaks, I rise to the ceiling and levitate, the doctor says that is a classic case of demonic possession to the scared interns, my head spins 360, my spine cracks and bees erupt from my mouth I am not a classic case, I am the original Lilith, my serpent tongue speaks. The nurse checks off unknown species on my chart and continues on. 
  5. Gabriel draws me up from the water, and I can swear, he reminds me off someone I know are you Hermes? He smiles in another life some knew me by that name.  In that moment I remember, and I know he is not taking me somewhere I want to be so I rip myself from his grasp, leaving twin bruises on my arms, in another world I was Icarus and the sun was my beloved, but in this one I made my vows with the ocean abyss. Where are you going? He calls after my plummeting body, home home home. 
  6. Is your home not heaven? the sky asks as I descend through it. In another world maybe, but it never truly was. 
  7. I hit the earth hard, dazed and mouth full of soil, I think this is home. With its glided mortality, and chocolate chunk brownie ice-cream. With its blood-soaked kisses, and barbed wire love,with its sunshine lungs and radiation smiles, in its imperfections, this is home in the way the ocean stings against my cut wrists, this is home in the way I have bled for it, this is home in the way it gave me shelter when my wings were gone. This is home in the way it embraced me when all I  had was a cage on my back. Welcome back it says, welcome back. 
  8. Who have you become, the void whispers, she stops and corrects herself what have you become? All I know is that these veins are no longer glowing, that this halo is broken and gone, that these wings cannot fly no longer, all I know is that this earth is my cradle, my mother, my grave. All I know is that I am stronger than ever before. I tell the void fuck off. 
  9. I am no longer what I was before.
The signs as things that happen way too often on chopped
  • Aries: that whiny white boy chef talking about how he shouldn't have been chopped
  • Taurus: Ted Allen telling the contestant the judges can't eat their food because they got blood on the plate
  • Gemini: when two chefs are racing to the ice cream machine in the dessert round
  • Cancer: Alex Guarnaschelli yelling at the contestants to finish their plates
  • Leo: Ted Allen making a bad pun and laughing at it
  • Virgo: Aarón Sanchez telling someone their dish needs more spice
  • Libra: Geoffrey Zakarian telling someone their dish is too spicy
  • Scorpio: the contestants complaining about a mystery basket ingredient because it isn't organic
  • Sagittarius: a chef talking about their dramatic life story without being asked
  • Capricorn: Amanda Freitag telling a contestant that their dessert isn't sweet enough
  • Aquarius: Scott Conant complaining about raw red onions
  • Pisces: a contestant bursting into tears when asked about their family
Diabolik lovers Lost Eden Ayato Sakamaki (dark 3) ~translation~

This translation was made by @dj-diabolik-fan

Dark prologue, dark 1, dark 2, dark 3

Place: Bathroom Sakamaki

Yui: (I stayed to much in the bath. I’m going to get dizzy…)


*Yui finishes changing*

Yui: Okay…
Yui: (I have to go back where Ayato is…)
Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! We have to put Ice cream on the bathtub!
Yui: Kya! A-Ayato…
Yui: Oh? What. I thought you were still on the bathtub. Who boring.
Ayato: Well, if it’s like that… then!


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Spike & Buffy

One time Spike suggested being able to beat Buffy in a fight. The resulting argument lasted days, before they both decided that considering their relationship now they couldn’t be expected to have a fight to the death. So they went to get an outside judge. Giles just shook his head and muttered “Children,” Dawn burst out laughing, and Andrew looked more terrified than anyone had ever seen him. So they’ve decided to call it a draw. 

Spike says he puts blood on his ice cream. Buffy thinks that’s in the top ten of the most disgusting things she’s ever seen. And she fights demons all the time. In truth though, Spike has only tried blood and ice cream once and thought it was gross. But the expression on Buffy’s face when he tells her the strawberry syrup is blood is just too cute. Plus it stops her from stealing any. 

While no one can remember who started it, someone once suggested how funny it would be to see an arm wrestling match between Buffy and Spike. They took the suggestion very seriously. Before long, the scoobies were taking bets, for serious amounts of money. But no one was sure they actually wanted to be in the room when it happen, so to this day, Xander may or may not owe Andrew 300 dollars. It’s still a running argument. 

Giles doesn’t feel a hundred percent comfortable with the two of them patrolling together anymore.There have been many nights were they come back injured and covered in demon blood with just the explanation of “He dared me to start a fight in a demon bar,” or “She said I couldn’t take whole vampire nest by myself,”

Buffy loves it when Spike reads to her. Anything. They’ll curl up on the couch or in bed, and Spike’ll read to her until she dozes off. It’s usually poetry, but sometimes stories, things in other languages, Giles’ old books, she’ll even have him read Dawn or Xander’s texts out loud to her. 

Buffy often feels tempted to describe Spike as giant cat. The purring and growling noises he makes make him seem like a kitten, and he melts when she pets his back or scratches under his chin. She’s sure he would curl up in the sunlight if he could without burning, and she’s come up with a lot of theories about how he’d react if she pulled out a laser pointer. 

Spike has found out that Buffy can fall asleep anywhere. He figures it’s from all the late nights slaying and needing to get rest anywhere she can. He’s found her asleep standing up, leaning on the wall of the hallway, draped over the couch like she had been about to sit down, or even on the floor of the apartment, only barely inside the door. He carries her back to bed every time.

Buffy and Spike both have nightmares. When one of them wakes up shaking in a cold sweat, the other takes them into the kitchen, makes hot chocolate and leads them to the roof, where they watch the stars and maybe talk about the dream or just about anything. They both get the feeling of having to claw their way out of their grave, and other pains, so they’re there for each other. 


Dean took a bite of Dutch apple pie a la mode, his expression melting into one of bliss. He made a sound that was part sensual moan and part grunting appreciation, green eyes nearly rolling back in his head as his eyelashes fluttered.

Castiel, watching, felt the bliss. The warm, cinnamon-nutmeg-buttery-pastry that caused a deep comfort; the tartness of apple, a spell-note against sugar that toyed with brain and blood; the creamy-sweet cold of ice cream, angel-snow, so arresting to the tongue. Within the cold, the scent and taste of vanilla was warm-hot and narcotic.

Swallowing, Dean scooped up another bite and held his spoon out to Castiel. “Want some?”

Unblinking, Castiel said, “Take off all your clothes.”


  A/N: This one took longer than I liked. I wanted to think it through and figure out what I wanted for this story…thing, and how I wanted it to get there. I know some people are waiting for something specifically to happen and I promise it’ll be soon.

Thank you to everyone that reads these! If you want to be tagged in HWCTB parts let me know!

tagline @angelameliajadearmitage @shenko @kristidenise @frickin-bats @breakawayfromeveryday

It had been only a hand full of days since the doctor released you from the hospital, but the slow goings were going…well…slow. You were doing what the doctor told you to do, to take it easy and get lots of rest after that drunk driver hit you. Dr. Sinclair hadn’t exactly said “bed rest", but he might as well have. You didn’t understand how you could be so bored.

   You’re best friend, Pree, had been spending a lot of time with you at your apartment. She wanted to make sure you and the baby stayed healthy and in bed. There were lots of doughnuts and orange juice as of late. You knew that since you were pregnant, your snacks should have been healthier. The baby, however, has only been demanding the cake doughnuts with sprinkles and sugar-free orange juice.

   When Spencer stopped by a few days after your release, he eyed the containers but didn’t say anything. It was akin to how you didn’t say anything to him about the baby at the hospital. You also hadn’t said anything after being released. It was slowly killing you, but you couldn’t do it. You didn’t know how to tell Spencer you were having a baby, his baby.

    Your relationship with Spencer had shifted since you started keeping such a big secret from him. He was pulling away, and you couldn’t blame him. You had picked up the phone so many times, been tempted to call a cab to take you to the BAU so many times but nothing could make you do it. No matter how hard you tried.

   You were lounging on your couch, eating one of the half-dozen of doughnuts that Pree had stopped by with before she had to be to work at the elementary school she taught at. She was adamant that you would need the dozen, but you didn’t feel the urge to develop early on-set diabetes. There was a book of names in your lap and a smaller booklet telling you about what your cravings meant. You hadn’t really been able to pay attention, though.

   The day before, you were surfing Pinterest in hopes of ideas for things to do while “taking it easy.” You happened to stumble upon ways to reveal your pregnancy to friends and family. What caught your attention, though, was finally figuring out how to tell Spencer about your future.

   Your cell rang, and when you picked it up off the table, caller ID let you know that Pree was calling you on her lunch. You quickly swallowed the lump of doughnut you were still chewing and swiped your screen.

   “Yallo?” You asked, purposefully trying to annoy your friend.

   “Y/N.” Pree rushed, your instincts kicking in.

   “Pree, what’s wrong?”

   “I’m alright, Y/N,” she assured, but you weren’t buying it for a second. “I just needed to call to let you know I’m going to be late to our dinner tonight, with Spencer. I had something come up. Can you send him my regards? I’m sorry.”

i    “What? What dinner? Pree, what’s going on?” You stood up and went for, your coat and shoes.

   “I can’t make it tonight. I’m sorry, Y/N. Send my apologies, please?” She repeated her earlier words, but something in them screamed out at you.

   “I’ll let him know. Thank you for calling ahead to give us the heads up.” You grabbed your keys and left, locking up the apartment behind you. “Are you able to call me later when you get back from running your errands?”

  “I-I’m not sure. I can try.” Your best friend sounded as if she were trying not to cry.

   “It’s okay, Pree. It’ll be fine. I’ll see you soon, I promise you.” You ran down the street to the bus stop and checked the schedule to see if you could make it to Spencer in a timely fashion.

   “Of course.” You could hear Pree swallow. “You’re my best friend, Y/N. I love you.”

   Tears formed and you tried your darnedest not to let them fall. You knew you could keep it together. You had to.

   “I love you, too, Pree. Trust in us.”

   You were hoping for a response, but all you received was the dial tone noise. You took a couple of deep breaths and called Penelope. She could help, she had to. There was something very wrong going on, and all you knew was that Pree needed you. You weren’t going to let her down.

   - - -

   You were nearly a permanent fixture at the BAU, so clearing you at the front desk wasn’t as tedious as it once was. You had called Penelope, and she immediately relayed the message to her team. Morgan had been the one to retrieve you, and he brought a calmness with him. You were still freaking out, but he helped clear your head. He asked you to repeat what you had told Penelope to keep it fresh in your mind, knowing you’d have to tell it to everyone all over again.

   In the bullpen, you sat at Emily’s desk and took some deep breaths as they met in the conference room. You laid your hand on your stomach and tried to ease the stress you were already starting to feel. Sprinting to the bus stop was definitely not under the restrictions your doctor set. The stress from the phone call probably wasn’t helping either.

   You were on the fence about how you felt towards Spencer’s co-workers knowing what was going on with you. They could probably tell that you and your boyfriend were on the rocks but as far as you being pregnant? Only JJ knew and was able to help you get vitamins and the medications you needed.

   The baby was doing somersaults, and all you could do to get through everything was breathe. You forgot to take your prenatal’s and other meds after your doughnut, and you didn’t think to grab them as you sprinted out the door. For still being in your first trimester, the kid sure was active.

   “Calm down, Baby.” You whispered to the air as you sneakily smoothed your palm over your shirt. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

   “Did you just call yourself a baby?” Morgan asked from behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

   You had placed your hand over your heart and took a deep breath. “No. Wait, what? No, I was just talking.”

   His response was an eyebrow raise and no words.

   You tried to deflect and move on. “What’s happening? Did you guys find her? Did you find Pree?”

   “We tried to find her via GPS, but her phone isn’t on. You said she called from her personal cell, so it probably got ditched somewhere.” Your friend wrung his hands together. “There is a possibility that someone took her, but we can’t be sure. Can you come into the room? Just to see if we can figure out where she might be?

   You nodded and stood up, your vision blurring. Derek grabbed your shoulder and helped ground you.    

   “Whoa, Y/N. You okay?”

   “Yeah.” Your left hand had pressed to your temple. “I didn’t eat well today. I’ve been showing signs of low blood sugar lately. It’s easy to forget sometimes.”

   “It’s all that ice cream. Haagen-Dazs has come back to bite you.” He tried to joke with you, lighten the mood.

   You gave a soft smile and turned to make your way to the conference room, but Morgan stopped you by grabbing your shoulder again.

   “You sure you’re okay? Is there anything you want to talk about without others listening in? I’m told I can be a good sounding board.”

   You stretched onto your toes and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek. “Has anyone told you how wonderful of a friend you are? But no, I’m just fine. Thank you.”

   Derek led you into the conference room where the rest of the team had been waiting. You spotted Penelope with her nose in her laptop. You could tell that she was trying to hold in her emotions. It was her cousin, after all, her favorite one. Of course, she’d be the most affected.

   You then noticed Emily and JJ  a few seats over, discussing something in an open file. They had serious expressions on their faces. The untouched cups of coffee told you that the women had been concentrating on the current situation.

   All the way at the other end of the table were Hotch and Rossi. Hotch’s eyes kept rotating between the papers on the desk and the people in the room. Rossi’s eyes were observing what was going on around them. The two were exchanging words every so often. No doubt they were watching you even if your eyes didn’t meet.

   “If we could get started?” Penelope’s voice rang from the front of the room to get everyone’s attention. “I’m sure we’re all aware of what’s happening. But I’ll recap just in case.

   “A few hours ago, Pree VanDalso- the best cousin a person could have- called our dear friend Y/N. She, Pree, had spoken suspiciously about false-laid plans and apologizing for having to miss them. She kept saying ‘I’m sorry’ and other things along the line of ‘let Spencer know.’ We think that those were her code words to let us know she’s in trouble.

   “Y/N said Pree sounded calm but could tell there was some form of tension in her voice. I tapped into the connection and listened to the conversation multiple times. I can confirm that there was DEFINITELY something in between her words that she was trying to get across.

   “After hanging up with Pree, Y/N proceeded to call me and inform me of what had happened. She was brought here to be in the loop as a VIP character witness and help keep us informed if she’s contacted again. And now we’re all up to date and I can breathe.”

   “Whoa, there Mama. Make sure you’re getting oxygen to that beautiful brain of yours in-between sentences.”

   Penelope nodded to her best friend as she sat in her seat and looked all sorts of lost and devastated. Her eyes were red and full of worry. Her purple painted bottom lip was worried between her teeth. No one else at the round table was as visibly shaken as your closest friend’s favorite cousin.

   Hotch’s eyes had glanced over one of the papers in the folder in front of him before he spoke up. “Did she have any plans today? Outside of the ordinary?”

   You shook your head. “No, not that I’m aware of. After she had dropped off her kids off at daycare, she was headed to the elementary school she works at and then back to the daycare. Her usual middle of the week plan. Nothing too extravagant.”

   “She didn’t have any plans to visit you this morning? Or today at all?” Emily asked with a pen at the ready to take notes.

   “No. Not today. She’d already been over almost everyday since I got out of the hospital.”

   Rossi raised his eyebrows. “Wow. She’s a very doting friend.”

   “She was worried. Penelope would have done the same for any of you. It must run in the family.”

   “Especially given the circumstances.” JJ had made the comment under her breath, but you knew that if you could hear it, so could everyone else.

   The statement caught everyone’s attention, and all eyes were brought back to you. Hotch’s eyes stayed on you as he gave out orders to the team and the members of the room dispersed to, their respective tasks. You got up to leave the room too but got stopped by the unit chief’s hands on your arm.

   “If I don’t have the whole story, I can’t help to my fullest extent. Is there anything you ant to share with me before we get too far into this investigation? Whatever you say won’t leave this room. It’ll stay with me, I promise.”

   You mulled it over in your head and took a deep breath. “I haven’t been entirely honest with Spencer lately. I’m trying to be, to find the best time to tell him what’s going on in the background but I can’t seem to find the right words or the right time.”

   “And JJ knows what’s going on?”

   You nod without looking him in the eye. “Yeah, she uh…I let something slip and she caught on. She’s been great, not saying anything but then just a few minutes ago…I guess it’s too heavy for her to hold in, too. I don’t blame her.”

   A look of great concern crossed his features. “Is it something bad? Should we be worried? If you need help with anything-”

   “OH! No. No, everything’s okay. No one’s in danger or anything. It’s not life threatening. It’s…it’s big and important but…depending on how he takes it…it’ll be okay. I hope.” You added the last part under your breath.

   “If that’s the case, you need to tell him. And soon, if I’m correct? You won’t be able to cover it for too much longer.”

   “Is everyone here a psychic?!? I need to meet people in this city that aren’t profilers or expert techies.”

   “Your best friend is an elementary school teacher.”

   “Teachers are underpaid and overlooked. Sometimes I wonder who has the harder job here.” You joked with your boyfriend’s boss, and it helped drain some of the tension of the moment.

- - -

   They ended up finding Pree almost 6 hours after she called you. Someone had spotted suspicious activity in a very tight alleyway in downtown D.C. between a woman and a man that was hauling her from a car into a warehouse. The woman was unconscious and seemed bloody from where the silent observer stood on the sidewalk.

   You were in tears during the quiet trip to the hospital that the EMT’s had taken your friend to. Derek was driving and you rode passenger. You told them you’d take the backseat, but Emily and JJ insisted that you sit up front. It had to do with something about not being able to breathe better when not being surrounded by seats and having a better visual of what was going on.

   When you caught up with the rest of the team, you were told that Pree was in surgery. She was concussed and somehow had damage done to her arm, broken the bone possibly while being dragged out of the car. You weren’t exactly sure. She wouldn’t be able to say anything until was brought into recovery. You’d have to wait it out.

   You had been able to call Alex, her boyfriend, and let her know she was safe and sound. He said that after he picked up the kids from daycare, he’d be by the hospital. You offered to stay and wait for him to give him time alone with Pree sans kids but he turned down the offer. You didn’t fight it, he was distraught, and you thought better than to argue with him.

   Penelope stayed by your side (or was it the other way around?) while you were at the hospital and after everyone had realized Pree would be OK, the two of you hugged, and there were some tears shed out of relief. The techie pulled back from the hug and gave you one of her sweetest smiles.

   “Thank you.”

   You were confused. “What for?”

   “The way you handled the whole thing. When you answered the call and reassured her, playing along. Getting a hold of us and keeping it together the entire time. I could see how distraught you were, a blind bat could, but you kept it together and did a marvelous job. Thank you for making sure my cousin made it back alive. he’s like a little sister to me. I don’t know what I would have done.”

   You pulled Penelope back in for a hug, and this time she cried alone while you held her tight. “Pree’s my best friend. I would give my life for hers.”

   Penelope’s reply was a whisper, and you almost couldn’t hear it. “Except it’s just not your life anymore. You got someone else depending on you now.”

   You pulled back abruptly and threw your hands into the air. “Does everyone know?!? Is there no honor in keeping secrets?”

   Half the team chuckled while the other half looked at you to Spencer repeatedly. Spencer himself seemed lost like it was a math problem he couldn’t figure out. He was biting his lip and wiggling his nose and had to force yourself not to stare. He was still your boyfriend, but you hadn’t even held his hand since you left the hospital.

   “Am I missing something?” Derek’s hands were on his hips, and he seemed frustrated.

   “Oh, Sweetie, I forgot to mention earlier because of- well, you know- a package in your name came to my place by mistake? It’s a big box. It feels expensive.”

   “Did you open my mail, Penelope??”

   “No. Just when I lifted the box, my Spidey senses went off. So? Am I right? Is it expensive? Is it shoes? What is it?” The woman looked like a child waiting for the prize inside her Wonderball.

   “Again,” You linked your arm through hers, and you all began to make your way towards the exit of the hospital. “Is there no decency in having a secret?”

   “You’re right.”

   Your head whipped to face JJ and surprise graced your features. “I am? I thought you weren’t happy with my decision.”

   “Oh, I’m not. Make no mistake. But it’s not my business. It’s not any of our business, really. It’s your secret. You’ll let those need that need to know in on it when you feel you’re ready. I’m sorry about earlier.”

   “You know, this is probably not the best discussion to have in front of You Know Who.” Penelope stage whispered.

   You rolled your eyes in good nature, and when you got outside, you unlinked your arms with Penelope and faced Spencer.

   “Hey. Amazing Boyfriend that I owe an explanation to about my behavior lately, do you want to come over for dinner.” You hoped you sounded sassier than you felt because you were honestly terrified.

   The genius ruffled his eyebrows and didn’t seem too sure. You both had been distant lately. Ever since you blatantly lied to him about something bothering you in the weeks leading up to your accident, he tried keeping you at an arm’s length. You just hoped he wasn’t rethinking your entire relationship. You don’t know what you would do if he decided to end things.

   “I will tell you everything. I’ll explain every little glitch in my behavior towards you lately.”

   The team started to disperse from where you stood to give the two of you some privacy. Hotch caught your eye before he could wander too far away and he gave you a reassuring smile. His smiles were rare, so you took it and let it give you confidence and relief. You had the approval of someone, and that’s all you wanted sometimes.

   “Will it fix it? Fix us?”

   “I really hope so. I can’t think about the opposite, what that would do to me. I’d understand though if it didn’t fix anything. I know my actions aren’t helping anyone. I need to take responsibility for my actions and do it right.”

   “Why do I feel like this is bigger than I think it is?”

   You tucked some hair behind your ear and looked away to fight the tears threatening to fall. “It very well could be.”

   “Are you OK?”

   You gave a smirk. “Call me when you get off of work? I’ll be at my apartment after I grab my mail from Penelope’s.”

   Spencer nodded, and the two, of you made your way to the Suburbans to go back to the B.A.U. You got into the one that you arrived in and buckled your seat belt. You prayed the entire way back to your boyfriend’s work. You hadn’t lied to Spencer. You’d understand if he wanted nothing to do with you after how you reacted to finding out you were expecting. You hoped he’d stay yin the baby’s life, though. You knew he’d be a good dad.

   After going to Penelope’s and using your spare key to get in, you found your package and left right after. If your talk didn’t go over well, you hoped to win Spencer over with the contents of the package. You were sure he’d like it. Hopefully. He had to, right? If he left you, especially while still wrapping your mind around becoming a mom, you didn’t know what you would do.

   “Please,” you pleaded to God. “Please don’t let Spencer hate me.”

   Things had to be okay in the end. Who knew just three short years in your new city would lead to such a soap opera life?

Misplaced Emotions

Summary: Dan Howell is a vampire who’s lost his humanity, and all he wants is to fuck Phil Lester, who just so happens to be a vampire hunter.

TW: a million cuss words. casual mention of blood and death and sex and a (very calm/non descriptive) murder takes place bc dan’s a vampire and he be hungryyy

Word Count: 3k

here’s my halloween fic! I hope you like it ^__^

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So. SO. Guess who (finally) watched Fright Night. Guess who has just had an hour and a half of Colin Farrell playing a vampire. Guess what this means.

This means that Percival Graves, salty, bitchy fucker that we all know and love, is about to get very intimately acquainted with what it means to be a demon of the night.

It starts, as most of Graves’ troubles tend to, while he’s with Grindelwald. In this universe Grindelwald has gone down the cliched route, added a bit of drama and flair to his life. I mean, come on. Look at the way he swept about in Graves’ coat, look at the pretentious last line he threw Newt’s way when he was captured. You can’t tell me Grindelwald isn’t a complete dramaqueen underneath all of that spiked hair and bleach.

He keeps Graves locked to a wall, iron manacles around his wrists that suppress and block the flow of magic. A wizard’s hands are his life - who ever heard of someone shooting spells out their nose? (Graves will damn well try to sneeze fire if it gets him free, but as yet the most he’s done is made sparks dance through his eyebrows. Not useful.) The manacles are raised above his head, chained in place in a way that makes his shoulders ache and his hands numb.

At first, that’s all Grindelwald needs. But Graves - Graves’ city is in danger. Graves’ aurors are in danger. He floods the manacles, wearing away at the enchantments on them bit by runic bit, working his way to freedom one hour at a time. Grindelwald has met his type before. Dedicated. Driven. He won’t stop until he’s free or dead, not unless Grindelwald breaks him first.

So he breaks him. How could Graves still fight for his aurors, Grindelwald reasons, if he himself is a dark creature that his aurors would kill on sight?

Grindelwald. Grindelwald, darling, allow me to introduce you to Percival Graves. He does not stop. Ever. You could kill the man and he’d come back as a ghost if he thought his aurors needed him to. Being turned into a vampire is a trifling annoyance that Graves stubbornly refuses to acknowledge beyond investing in some heavy duty sun-blocker potion when the burns get too bad.

Graves gets himself free, in the end, and he storms back into the mess that Grindelwald left behind. He marches down his corridors barking insults and dragging the junior aurors back to the practice room to have their asses handed to them in training and throwing an absolute hissy fit about the fact that Grindelwald failed to complete even a single item of paperwork. He tears through his aurors like a foul mouthed jarvey and grumps at Picquery when she doesn’t get out his way fast enough and everyone is so damn relieved to have him back.

So relieved that they don’t notice the way his hands shake. The way he clutches at his coffee like a lifeline, hiding behind his mug whenever anyone gets too close. The way he all but flinches back from people, the way he keeps his windows open in the middle of winter and drinks in fresh air like a drowning man to keep from losing himself in the smell of blood. He’s going mad. He’s surrounded by living, breathing, beating hearts and he’ll die if he doesn’t give in soon - but he’d rather die than do that. It puts something of a time limit on his work, trying to fix things, trying to get everything ready for the successor he hasn’t yet picked to follow him. It makes for a lot of late nights and early starts, a lot of saying fuck it to pretences and just working round the clock. The vampiric lack of need for sleep is a mighty handy thing.

It’s on one of these all nighters that he meets Newt at three in the morning. Why exactly Newt is in the auror department at three in the morning he isn’t quite sure, because his mind is preoccupied with other things.

Namely, the fact that with no one else around to provide background noise, he can hear Newt’s heartbeat echoing like a siren call through the empty room. Or the fact that the auror department smells stale, old papers and coffee dregs, but Newt walks through the middle like something sweet and pure.

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Glphza Noznerd

Age: 10 sweeps

Gender: female {pansexual}

Blood colour: grape 

Occupation: dancer 

Lusus: moo beast

Likes: ice-cream, chocolate milk, weed, memes, annoying more sophisticated highbloods, being naked, ice-cream, having her butt touched, having her hair brushed and done by someone else, cuddling and playing RPG like D&D

Dislikes: dressing up all fancy unless needed, rapists, assholes, having no weed, being annoyed, meat {pescatarian}, fascists and clashing colours. 


Normal/High: Bonkers - Dizzee Rascal 

Crazy: Stand Alone - Chris Lake & Lazy Rich

hung out with C in the astral and he took me to an outdoor marketplace which was fun. we stopped and got ice cream and right as i was about to eat mine i looked at his and i noticed it was this bright red color. i just stopped and went, “oh my god” and he looked at me and started to smirk. 

“oh my god. oh my god, is that blood”

he keeps smirking.

“oh my god… are you eating blood ice cream”

he keeps smirking.

“you are literally a psychic vampire why are you doing this.”

and then he ate all of his and took a bite of my ice cream and :( jerk.