The Signs As Suburban White Boys
  • Aries: Chad, 16, dirty-blond buzz cut, blue eyes. Enjoys wearing camouflage and hunting.
  • Taurus: Joshua, 17, brown hair, blue eyes. Star of the football team and is currently dating Alyson. Cool guy.
  • Gemini: Branden, 15, blond hair, green eyes. Plans on starting his own garage band. He and Jake hate each other
  • Cancer: Cory, 18, blond hair, blue eyes. Kid whose mother babied them far too long. Expects everything to be handed to him. The "nice guy". Acts like girls owe him everything.
  • Leo: Jack,17, dyed black hair, blue eyes. He dyed his hair black after listen to his punk rock band. He acts as the "edgy kid" at school. His mom, Karen, is in charge of the PTA meetings.
  • Virgo: Brendan, 16, clean-cut brown hair, brown eyes. Smart, A+ student who's also captain of the debate team.
  • Libra: Christian, 18, red hair, brown eyes. The school "heartthrob". All the 9th graders love him. He's the nice older kid who tutors after school.
  • Scorpio: Anthony, 17, blond hair, blue eyes. The kid who smoked weed once, lives in a good, Christian home. Acts like a pot-head.
  • Sagittarius: Jake, 16, blond hair, grey eyes. Star of the baseball team. Hates Branden because he wouldn't let him cheat off of him. Almost got kicked off the baseball team for failing his tests.
  • Capricorn: Brad, 15, black hair, green eyes. Asshole kid who thinks he's the shit. Most commonly used phrases "no homo", "bro", "that's gay". Everyone acts nice to him, but they don't actually like him
  • Aquarius: Matt, 15, brown hair, brown eyes. Plans on joining Branden's band. He can play guitar. He just learned "Smoke on the Water". He's a pro.
  • Pisces: Nick, 17, blond hair, blue eyes. Theatre kid. He lands most roles, amazing singer. His mom goes to all his shows and brags over every role he gets

5. Zayn Malik

Speaking of One Direction, when Zayn left the group in March, Directioners collectively lost their minds. After five years, one of the band’s two most popular members went his own way in an attempt to leave the spotlight, only to have it shine even brighter on everything he does. While he hasn’t really put out any new music, Zayn did thrust himself into the most stylish celeb conversation this year for the first time. He always felt a little too edgy for the polished image his bandmates cultivated. While we’ve seen less of Zayn this year than any other, what we did see of him secured him a spot on our list. Whether it was his entrance to the Louis Vuitton show this summer, complete with a freshly shorn blonde buzz cut and silk Vuitton shirt, or other appearances during Fashion Week that sent him on a path to style stardom, I’m not totally sure, but, for the last half of the year, all eyes have been on him. Zayn’s typical look nails that British aesthetic of slim trousers, dress shirt (often buttoned to the collar with no tie) and boots or chunky dress shoes, but he’s also branched out to different looks with distressed jeans and Air Jordans this year, showing just how much a change of scenery, like leaving one of the biggest pop acts of the era, can do for someone. —Skylar Bergl