block sugar

Kiss With A Fist

Pairing: BuckyxReader

Warnings:violence, humor, lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst, daddy kink on 10, be ready…

A/N: this fic is inspired by the song Kiss With A Fist by Florence and the Machine

“You dirty fucking bastard!” Bucky’s ears perked up as he heard your footsteps trailing down the hall as you cursed. He can’t help the wide smile that spreads across his face when he sees you approaching him with a face red as a tomato. You stand in front of his chair and scold him.

“Where is it?!?” You cross your arms as you impatiently tap your foot against the hardwood floor of the TV room. Bucky smiles devilishly at you and you know it was him. You know he stole it.

“Hey sugar tits, I don’t even get a hello before you start yelling.” His brow arches, almost as if he’s tempting you.

“Hello, asshole. Now where is it?” You try to calm yourself before you snap.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He grins.

“Cut the shit, Barnes. Where did you put it?” You wondered why he always had to fuck with you. Out of everyone here, why you? You supposed it was because of the fact that you were a bit weirder that everyone else. You like pineapples on your pizza and you mixed your Sprite with lemonade but that didn’t mean that Bucky had to pick on you and only you. It just wasn’t fair.

“I put a lot of things in a lot of places, doll. You’re gonna have to be more specific.” His brows furrowed.

“You know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about. Now, drop the act and give me back my damn bear!” Your voice gradually got louder as Bucky continued to try your patience.

“Ohhh that bear that you sleep with every night like a five year old? Yeah it might have accidentally gotten thrown in with the trash after I cleaned the kitchen. You know, you really shouldn’t leave your stuff just lying around all willy nilly.” He surfs the tv channels as your eye twitches with rage. “Could you move, sugar, you’re blocking the television.” He clears his throat and takes a swig from the beer bottle in his hand.

You lose it and yank the bottle from his hand, smashing it against the head rest on his chair, glass falling all over him, causing him to flinch.

“I’m gonna give you five seconds to tell me where the fuck my bear is, Barnes.” You voice shakes.

“Or what?” He smirks, dusting off the broken glass from his lap and standing up, the two of you now standing chest to chest. Or… face to collarbone, considering your smaller height.

You tackle him to the ground, wrapping your hands around his neck and choking him, not planning on stopping until his face turns blue.

Suddenly you hear footsteps and soon Steve is standing above you trying to pull you off of Bucky. It was difficult for him considering you had a strong grip around Bucky’s neck, his eyes beginning to glaze over as his face turns red.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” You shake him in your grasp before Steve finally pulls your hands from around his throat.

“You crazy bitch!” Bucky chokes out, gasping for air as he starts to stand.

“What’s the meaning of all this?!” Steve asks, still holding you back as tears threaten to spill from your eyes.

“He threw away my bear!” You screamed through angry tears.

“All this for a goddam bear? You almost murdered me you fucking psycho!”

“It was not just a bear! That bear has been my safe haven ever since I was a kid! That bear has been there for me when no one else has! That fucking bear kept me from my nightmares and you took it away from me, Bucky why?! Why do you alway have to mess with me I’ve done nothing to you! It’s not fair!” You yank yourself away, pushing Bucky at full force, making him stumble backwards a bit before catching his balance, his mouth agape as you stormed out of the room walking to lord knows where

“What the hell, Buck?” Steve walks towards him. “You can’t just do things like that to people. Not everyone is like us. This generation is soft. They need things like that to keep them going. Let’s not forget that you have nightmares too.” Steve scolds him as he holds his hands on his hips. Bucky knows Steve is right, he just didn’t think it was so serious.

“I… I didn’t know.” Bucky sits there, feeling guilty as he stares at the floor. Steve scoffs and begins to make his way toward the room’s exit.

“Well you better fix this Bucky. Before she burns your room to the ground with you in it.”

________

You take a walk around the city, damn near looking in every dumpster you saw to see if your stuffed bear was there, but no luck. So you headed back to the tower and took a shower, hoping the hot water would calm your nerves.

You really didn’t understand why Bucky did these types of things to you and it made you so angry that he hated you, especially when you’d never done a thing to him. Except fight him whenever he messed with you.

You got out of the shower and dried yourself, putting your towel in the hamper and opening the door to enter your room. However, you didn’t see Bucky sitting on your bed until you heard a manly yell fro the center of your room. Your eyes darted over to where he sat, covering his eyes as you screamed and tried to cover what you could with your hands.

“Why are you naked?!?” He screamed, still covering his eyes.

“Why are you in my room?!?” You hurried to your closet and snatched a long sleeved shirt from a hanger, luckily it was Steves and it hit your mid thigh.

“Well I wanted to apologize for stealing your bear and…” You looked see why he trailed off and saw your scuffed up, black teddy bear in his hands.

Without a second thought you ran to your bed snatched the bear from his grasp, hugging it tight before you wrapped Bucky in your arms as well. Bucky was stunned at first but wrapped his strong arms around your body, smiling as your wet hair damped his shirt.

“Thank you!” You held onto him, stuffing your face in his warm chest, inhaling his scent as he held onto you as tight as you did to him.

You stayed like that for a few minutes before you realized that he was the one who took your bear in the first place. With that, you pulled away and slapped the hell out of him with your right hand.

“Why did you lie about throwing it away you bastard? And why did you steal it in the first place?!” You pushed him back, sitting up on the bed with your bear in your left hand. He blinked a few times before answering, almost as if he didn’t really have an explanation.

“I don’t really know…I just… I guess I wanted to see how you’d react, in a way… I wanted you to be mad at me, if that makes sense. The only time you really give attention to me, is when you’re angry at me. I don’t why but, I think you’re so fucking sexy when you’re mad, sugar. Sometimes, I get so damn hard just knowing that you’re pissed at me.” Bucky couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. But in a way, it’s a relief considering he’s never even admitted any of this to himself. “So I guess I just kinda do things to piss you off in hopes that maybe one day you’ll do something about it.” His eyes trail from her eyes to her lips and stay there as he bites his bottom one.

“Oh.” You stare down at the stitches in your bed and think about what he just said, trying not to make it obvious that the sheets under you are soaking slowly.

“Can I kiss you, doll?” You look up at him as he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and brings his palm to your cheek as he scoots closer, making your hart beat faster.

You lean forward to place a quick pec on his lips, before you could pull away he grabbed your waist and pulled you against his chest, kissing your jawline and your neck.

You fully straddle him and gently yank him back by his hair, nuzzling your face into his beard before nipping his scruffy cheek.

“Fuck, honey.”

You grab his chin and tilt his head downwards to make him look into your eyes.

“Be quiet.” You begin to unbuckle his belt and tug his pants down his legs before taking off his shirt, leaving him in just his underwear. You reach down to caress his length in your palm, watching as his becomes flustered, staring at your hand, his breathing steady, his cheeks red.

That wasn’t good enough for you.

You pushed his torso back, making him lay down before you planted kisses all the way down his body to his boxers. He sat up on his elbows to watch you, waiting for you to take them off. Instead, you slide your tongue along his clothed bulge, causing Bucky to shiver.

“Fuck, baby stop teasing, please.” His brows furrowed upwards as he bucked his hips up towards your face. You slap his thigh and run your teeth along his bulge, looking him straight in his lust blown eyes as he whimpers silently.

“You’ll get what I give you, James.” He groans, his head tilting back at the name you called him. You like this. A lot. You like having such a powerful man melting in the palm of your hand with just a the simple snap of a finger.

You pulled his stiff cock out of his underwear and took a long ogling look at it before making a move. It was thick and long, had veins protruding out all around the soft, milky shaft. His throbbing red tip, dripping with pre cum. You squeezed his balls, inspecting them as well, feeling just how big and juicy they are, not even realizing that Bucky was staring at you the whole time, with a smirk on his face as you finally locked eyes with him.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” He taunts as you clear your throat and get back to the task at hand. You start to tug on his cock slowly, letting the pre cum slick up your movements. You bring your mouth to his tip and circle it with your tongue before sucking on it, licking his dripping slit as you watch his reaction, still cupping his balls in your other hand.

His breathing is getting heavier, his plump lips are parted and his brows are arched, his eyes glazing over as you pull him in deeper, almost letting his tip hit the back of your throat before you pull back up, teasing him just a bit more, letting him know who’s still in charge.

“Goddammit, sugar take me all the way.” He whined, bucking his hips up towards your mouth again.

You finally decide to quit teasing him and sink your mouth all the way down his throbbing cock, taking in a deep breath before you pull him the rest of him into your throat until your nose hits the tuft of hair at his base. His right hand reaches up to pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

“Fuckin hell,” he gasps as he feels your throat convulse around him. His eyes roll back as you slowly wrench him from your throat, saliva stringing from his dick to your lips as you lift yourself from him.

You wipe your mouth as you jerk him off at a steady pase, his bucking up into your hand as you lock eyes.

“God, I can’t fuckin do this anymore,” he pulls your hand from his dick and yanks you from your position on the bed to straddle him, his wet cock pressing into your pussy folds. “I need to be inside you, sugar. Can I?” He rubs his dick against your pussy, making it hard for you to say no. You nod your head and that’s all he needs to lift you and take his cock into his hand, pumping it a few times before slowly sinking into you. You wince silently, trying not to show that his size is stretching you to the point where it’s painful.

“Fuck you’re tight.” He growls, laying down and placing his hands on your hips, letting you take control. He sees your eyes prickling with tears as he finally bottoms out, causing you to let out a shaky sigh of relief. “Shit, why didn’t you tell me i was hurting you?” He sits up immediately, bringing his hands to your cheeks, wiping your fallen tears with his thumb before pressing reassuring kisses to your lips. “We need to stop honey, I don’t want you to be in pain.” He rubs your lower back with his metal hand as you take deep breaths, shaking your head. He attempts to pull out before you put your hands on his chest push him to lay down, forcefully, his eyes widening as you start to move.

“No. I like it when it hurts a little.” You slowly lift yourself up and down his cock, hissing because of the prominent sting sprung from your core as he sits there, taken aback by your sudden dominance.

“Fuck, doll.” His head rolls back, his back falling to the bed before he brings his hands to your hips, attempting to push up into you faster than you were riding him.

You grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed, leaning down to kiss his neck, your breasts pressed flushed against his chest, as you sucked hard on his jaw.

“S-shit,” Bucky cursed. You looked up, rolling your hips a bit quicker, watching his red, blissed out face change to furrowed brows and an almost bleeding bottom lip from how hard he was biting it. “Fuck yes,” he whimpered as you changed pace and sped up. “You gonna take over me, sugar? Ride me for all I’m worth? Make me cum inside ya?”

“Yes, daddy!” You whine accidentally, pausing in neck as you stop your hips, releasing his wrists as you sit up you didn’t mean for it to slip but you just couldn’t help it. He just felt so damn good. “I-I’m so sorr-”

You’re cut off by Bucky slamming his lips against yours, flipping the both of you over and rolling his hips against yours, grinding his pelvis against your clit, making you whimper.

“You like it when daddy takes you like this, sugar?” He panted against your neck, pulling his hips all the way back until his tip was the only thing inside you before he slams his hips into yours, triggering your g-spot head on.

“Oh fuck!” You wrap your legs tight around his hips.

“Answer me,” he whispered, biting into your neck. Bucky unwrapped your legs from around his waist, letting your knees bend as he pushed your thighs apart. He wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed a little on the sides.

“I said fucking answer me.” He squeezed a little harder and fucked you a little rougher.

“Yes.” You whispered, your eyes rolling back as your mouth gaped open. He spanked your thigh and slowed down his pace, still slamming into you but not as quick as before.

“Yes what, sweetheart?” Bucky caressed your neck as he waited for your response, pressing gentle kisses to your cheek while he teased you.

“Yes daddy.” You stared him in the eyes and let out a quiet but shaky breath.

“That’s my girl,” he leaned down to kiss your neck.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum daddy harder!” You tangle your hands into his hair. Bucky kissed you softly, slipping his tongue into your mouth. He slows his hips down to at least one soft yet deep thrust every five seconds

“You’ll get what I give you, sugar.” He smirks, his breathing getting heavier. He flips the both of you over and grips your waist, thrusting up into you hard and fast, just how you like it. Bucky’s thumb makes its way to your clit to rub in tight circles.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” you whisper, your head pointed towards the ceiling as you lean back and lay your hands on his thighs, spreading yourself out more.

“What was that, sugar?” He reaches up with his metal hand to gently grasp your breast, toying with your nipple while rubbing your clit faster with his flesh and blood hand. You whimper, unable to speak as your high creeps up on you. “You’re gonna cum for me? You’re gonna cum all over my cock?” He grunts, his thrusts getting harder.

And just like that, it hits you. Your vision turned spotty and everything goes slow-mo. Heat rises up through your core and makes its way to your face, causing your cheeks to flush and your back to arch. You squirm and shake against Bucky as you cum, your eyes rolling back as your climax hits it’s full peak. It sprouts through you like a roots would through dirt, slow but beautiful. You cry out Bucky’s name as his thrusts don’t let up, your nails digging into his flexed torso. This is the hardest you’ve ever came and its consuming you, taking you into darkness as you suffocate from the undying pleasure.

You start to shy away as it becomes to much, trying to pull away from him as you tremble. Bucky didn’t like that.

“No.” He growled, pulling you down to lay chest to chest against him. “You don’t get to leave until daddy fills your pretty little pussy with his cum, understand?” You nod your head, hiding your face in his sweaty neck. He smacks your ass with his metal hand, which makes you bite into his collar bone as you let out a whimper.

“Yes.” You whimper, panting as you move your hips against him. You weren’t expecting him to grab you by the hair snd yank you back to look him straight in his
steel blue eyes.

“Yes what?” He slows down the movement of his hips, tightening his grip on your hair.

“Yes daddy.” You whisper. He thrusts into you once, hard but deep. So deep it knocks the air from your lungs.

“Louder,”

“Yes daddy!” Your cracked voice shouts.

“Good girl.” He kisses your lips and let’s go of your hair, lifting you off of him a sitting up on his knees, shifting you to lay on your stomach before he pushes your upper body down towards the bad, letting your back arch. Bucky lines himself up with you once again before laying his hands on your hips and thrusting slow. “You’re my good girl aren'cha? You’re my good little girl.” Hi mumbles as he increases the speed of his thrusts, laying his metal hand on your lower back for support. He leans down to lay on you, lowering you down on the bed, holding himself up on one elbow as the other one stays on your hip.

“Fuuuck,” you growl as he sinks deeper into you, hitting your g-spot.

“You like that baby?” Bucky leans on his forearms, kissing your neck as he talks dirty in your ear. “You like getting fucked slow like this? You like suckin in every inch I give to this greedy little pussy? Dirty little girl.” He pumps into you faster, his breathing picking up as he grunts into your neck.

“Oh fuck, honey your pussy’s so damn good.” He praises you, nibbling on your ear. He reaches underneath you and rubs your clit, trying to get you to cum before he does. “You gonna let me fuck you from now on? Gonna sleep with me? Gonna let me be your teddy bear?” Buck bites into your shoulder.

“Yes daddy.”

“You gonna be my good girl from now on, sugar?” You feel his cock pulse inside of you, signaling that he’s close.

“Yes, daddy.” You promised to him as you came again, moaning out his name as he thrusters into you mercilessly

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum baby girl you’re squeezin me so damn tight.” He hides his face into your neck, almost whining as he feels you clench around him. “I’m cumming… fuck! Take it, take it, take it!” He chants, growling as he fills your pussy with his release, some spilling out of you as he keeps thrusting. He slows his hips down to a stop after you’ve milked him dry, collapsing on top of you, holding some of his weight on his forearm while he pants heavily against your neck, holding you close as his hips twitch every few seconds.

“You okay, baby?” You ask when your breathing has finally slowed down.

“Yeah… I just need a minute.” You can hear the grin in his words as he kisses the love bites he left all over your neck and shoulders.

“What happened to that super soldier stamina I was promised?” You giggled as he bit you playfully.

“I made you cum twice, sugar, you could at least give a guy a break.” Bucky playfully smacked your ass before he slowly pulled out, backing up a bit to watch his cum leak down your thighs. “Shit,” he cursed as he spread your asscheeks, looking at the way his release mixed with yours and dripped out of you. You smirked as you gently clenched your pussy, pushing some of his cum out of you.

“Dammit, sugar don’t get me goin’ again.” He chuckled as he got up to use the restroom. Your eyes drifted closed as you laid down flat on your stomach and let sleep take over you.

Bucky comes back with a warm wet towel and smiles as he catches you sleeping. He quietly makes his way over to the bed and cleans your thighs and your pussy before putting the towel into the dirty clothes hamper and laying down next to you, pulling the fluffy white comforter over the both of you and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close to him before kissing your temple, hoping he’ll fall asleep tonight instead of staring at your beautiful sleeping face. He smiles as you wrap your arms around him and hold him in your sleep. Just like a teddy bear.

At that moment Bucky realizes that he’s falling hard for you. He just hopes you’ll feel the same when he finally confesses.

________
A/N: Bucky gave her that “go to sleep” dick
Tags: @gaybybirth

10 Quick Ways To Tell a Sugar from Salt/Fake Daddy
  1.  A real SD’s first message to you will be 500+ characters and/or written in a letter format. A fake / salt daddy will not take the time to write you a real response showing that he’s read your profile. A real SD will because he knows how many fake SB’s there are in the bowl. A real SB will show you he is serious by taking the time to initiate a real conversation prior to meeting up.
  2. A salt daddy will string you along… he’ll pull out every excuse, every insult, and every card in the book to avoid paying you. He may imply or flat out call you a gold digger, guilt you for taking his money, etc. Don’t fall for it, and don’t waste your time.
  3. If his income is less than $200k, he a salt daddy, okay? Like most SB’s you are looking for a daddy who can provide an allowance of some sort. You won’t find one with a man who brings in less than $200k before taxes. ESPECIALLY not one with a man who has a net worth less than $750k.
  4. Salt Daddies ask for nudes right off the bat. Real SD’s pride themselves on being generous, gentlemanly benefactors. Real SD’s will not look to disrespect you in such a way if they truly value your time, company, and what you may add to their lives.
  5. Salt Daddies tend to try lowball you into agreeing to something ridiculous like $150 per meet. Real SD’s have the financial means to support you in whatever way they claim to be able to. In my world, less than $400 per meet is laughable.
  6. Salt Daddies may try to emotionally manipulate you, claiming they like you so much, you’re their dream woman, etc. etc. to take advantage of you and your valuable time. Don’t fall for it, just send them a thank you message for a nice date and move on.
  7. Real SD’s know how to plan a dinner, at the most basic. Real SD’s love spoiling their sugar babies and will usually spare no expense when it comes to dinner, brunch, or other meals. Choice and price range of a restaurant is HUGELY indicative of what kind of daddy a man is/will be.
  8. Real SD’s will compensate you by the second date. I’m not going to lie to you, you will not always be compensated for the first date. I’ve met plenty of REAL SD’s who do not compensate for a meet and greet– and understandably so. But if you’ve gone on a second date, and they have not compensated you by then, MOVE ON. Real SD’s are usually happy to or will bring a little gift to show they are legit. 
  9. Salt Daddies will send requests to view private photos without even sending so much as a message to introduce themselves. I always ignore, ignore, ignore photo viewing requests if I have not had any adequate conversation with a POT.
  10. Salt Daddies will ask for or mention explicit sexual favors right off the bat, within the first couple of messages. A real SD will mention ‘intimacy’ and wanting to eventually take the relationship to the next step, but they won’t devalue you so much as to speak to you in such a vulgar way. Be suspicious and block men who are 
archiveofourown.org
Bucky's Baby - LanceTheFuckerTucker
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 3/?
Rating: Explicit (UNDER 18′S PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS - I couldn’t give less of a fuck how mature you think you are, just don’t put me in such a shitty position)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Daddy Kink, Money kink, Financial Domination, Sub!Bucky, domme!Reader
Summary:

Down on your luck, you meet a man named Bucky - a handsome and wealthy businessman - who changes your life completely.

2

Bubbly Pie from Dragonriders of Pern

Now hang on for a second. The wiki describing the bubble pies claims that, and I quote, “Each hold has its own recipe for the pies”. Considering we have done typical crosshatch fruit pies and pocket pies on multiple occasions, we figured there would be a hold that liked bubble cream filling with their bubble fruit. 

Recipe is below the cut.

-MJ & K

Keep reading

DIABOLIK LOVERS ~MORE BLOOD~ カールハインツの部屋の恐怖

Tokuten cd for buying all ~More Blood~ Situation CDs

Castings:

Sakamaki brothers: Kaji Yuuki, Midorikawa Hikaru, Hirakawa Daisuke, Toriumi Kousuke, Konishi Katsuyuki & Kondou Takashi

Mukami brothers: Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryohei, Tatsuhisa Suzuki & Kishio Daisuke

「カールハインツの部屋の恐怖」Karl Heinz’s Room Terror

*One day Yui coming to Ayato. She made Takoyaki and wanted Ayato to eat together with her.*

*knocking SFX*

Ayato: Huh? Who is it? *Ayato opened his room’s door* What is it, Chichinashi? It’s you, huh? Why are you here? Huh, are you coming here to ask me to suck your blood? *laugh* By the way, you have different smell than you usually have. *sniff sniff* Hm? This smell is… Takoyaki??? You… why are you smell like Takoyaki? Huh? You made some because you want to eat it, then you bring them to me too? Damn… What are you doing in such a time! I don’t need it! Don’t ‘eh’ me! It’s not your business if I eat takoyaki or not! Damn! Go away! *Ayato shut the door*

*Yui then going to Reiji. Reiji seemed to doing a weight-lifting(?)*

Reiji: *groan* Oh my… it’s you. What’s wrong? Eh? Ayato refused to eat Takoyaki? *smirk* I see. Ayato too then? No, I don’t know anything. Yes, it’s the truth. *shock* It becomes a little bit hard. But I don’t want to give up here. Right, That’s true. What is it? Eh? My movement is funny? Ho… How could you speak like that to me? You said I am funny. Just how funny exactly I am? I move like a robot? Me? My head is stiff, and my leg movement is very cautious? How dare you say as if I am a wild goose? You even said me look like a robot. You seem like longing to be punished by me. *laugh* But, I don’t have any time to take care about you. I am busy. Excuse me. Really. So annoying. I need to strengthen my dorsal muscle!

*Yui then go to Kanato*

Kanato: Hm? Eh? What are you doing? Eh? Takoyaki? Heh… No wonder I smell something unpleasant. I’m amazed you can easily eat something with strong smell like that. It’s unbelievable! Well, I don’t really care. For a lowly insects like you that thing might be a delicious food. What is it? You are so noisy. This manor is my home! This is a place where I can do everything I want! I don’t have any obligation to ask for your permission! If I drink this, for sure… But, I don’t like this drink. Right, Teddy you don’t like it too, right? But I know. The me right now need to drink this. Teddy will you across this wall with me? *drinking* Finally I could finished it all. But I still have some more. *Kanato’s stomach grumbling* My stomach already grumbling… Heh? What is it? There’s a huge supply of milk in the refrigerator? Right. They are all mine. Do you have problem with that? You are so noisy! Don’t disturb me now! *drink more milk* No… I won’t give up. If I give up now, my pride… *drink*

*Someone came in.*

Raito: Ah, Bitch-chan, I’m wondering what kind of smell is this. So it was you. Are you bringing Takoyaki? Ufu. Are you giving that to Ayato-kun? I want you to make Ayato-kun chubby. He was making fun of me once. It’s better if he died in consuming much cholesterol. Ufu. Eh? What do I mean? It’s not something important. On top of that, Kanato-kun, you’re drinking that much milk. Are you okay?

Kanato: Don’t disturb me!

Raito: Ufu. Well, I don’t care about it though. Ups, Bitch-chan, can you move your foot a little? Wow, what a good view. Nice happening(?). Stay like that. So today you’re wearing the pink one? Ah… she runs away. I want to see more though… Ufu. Ah. It’s here. My secret weapon. Eh? What is this? You understand what is it, right? This is vinegar. You asked what I will do with it. You know, I will *Raito open the botol and drink it, then he coughing hard.* this sour taste, I am really not good with it. But, if I give up drinking it more, Raito-kun’s forte will get bad. *drink more* *cough* what? Why do I drink vinegar [1]? Well, that’s… do you want to know, Bitch-chan? Are you taking interest in me? Ufu. I will tell you, but, if you want to do some sport with me until our bodies soft over there, okay? Ufu. You don’t have to runaway. Just because we’ll do sport until our bodies soft, why are you draw back from me? Bitch-chan, what did you imagine? Bitch-chan? You’re going already? That’s unfortunate. If you want to eat Takoyaki, I think you better go to dining room~

*Yui went and met Shu*

Shu: Don’t disturb me. Now I’m getting irritated. Sleepy… Huh? Why I feel irritated? This house is more noisy than usual. And now, because you’re disturbing me too. Hm? Today seems like everyone is strange? That’s for sure. Huh? The reason? It’s too troublesome to tell you. Well, whatever. I am so sleepy, don’t disturb me. If you disturb me more than this, you have to give me your blood. *Yui avoided Shu and go* Finally you go away. *closed the door*

*Then Yui met Subaru*

Subaru: Hm? What is it with you? Geez. You really have so many annoying habits! Moreover, what is that? Huh? Just by seeing it, I know that that is Takoyaki! Are you making fun of me?! What I want to ask you is whether you’ll eat that or not! Or Ayato gonna eat that? It’s not like I care who will eat those things! Tck. Whatever. You sit there. Just sit there! No, sit farther from me! Bring your chair farther away. Right. Stick to the wall is good. Yosh. You can eat your takoyaki there. Huh?! There’s no special reason. Just don’t bother about me. *Subaru staring at Yui intently* Huh? Why I stare at you? Shut up. It’s not your concern, right? Well, I just want to increase my eyesight by staring at you. Well, Reiji told me that if I keep staring something from distant my eyesight will get better. Why I want to increase my eyesight? You still need to ask? Because there will be a physical measurement! If I was judge that I have bad physical condition, I will not have to clean Father’s room! Moreover Mukami brother will join this measurement too. I don’t want to lose! Huh? Finally you know why everyone acting strange? That’s for sure. Because cleaning Father’s room is so troublesome. So everyone doesn’t want to do it. Moreover, I don’t know what will come out. You might think that his room is just a normal room. But Father is a vampire who had lived more than 2.000 years. And he also likes to collect some weird things! His room is like an enormous armored room! One time, Kanato enter our Father’s room to look for a book he wanted to read, he said he saw a gigantic slug inside. I’m starting to shiver. I really don’t want to go inside! Gigantic Slug is… so disgusting! So I want to get my physical measurement this week is not to be the worst one. So, for now I will increase my eyesight.

*Meanwhile in Mukami house*

Ruki: *smirk* This time being I’m sure they are in a haste. *drink* By the way, this Russian tea is so delicious.

Azusa: *drink* It contains so much sweet jam. So delicious. I like it too. I Love it.

Kou: They must be so haste? So laughable. Well, those lazy noble young masters deserve it. *eat a cookie*

Yuuma: Oi, Kou! That cookie is the last one, right? Don’t eat that!

Kou: *Talk while eating*

Yuuma: A! You! I told that I want that too! Why don’t you give half to me?

Kou: Why I have to? You were always eating so much sugar blocks , right? Why don’t you give me this one? Are you okay to eat that much sugar? On the coming up physical measurement you might be told overweight.

Yuuma: Don’t lump me with those certain lazy asses! Every day I always drip sweat and work hard on the field! Moreover beside sugar, I always eat vegetables every day. Don’t be mistaken me with those luxury noble guys!

Kou: Well, you have a point. Because of my job as an idol, I too always move my body with dancing and doing a live performance. Ah… but, Azusa-kun, are you okay? Are you exercising your body properly?

Azusa: I’m okay. Even I’m not look like it, I’m quite strong. Look. *Azusa bent a fork*

Yuuma: Whoa-! You bent a fork with only your fingers! You’re unexpectedly strong, huh! Is that kind of supernatural power?

Azusa: Hm… It’s not a supernatural power. Mine is just a pure power. Every day, in order for me to could speak with the Justins (can’t hear the name clearly. Justin is name of his scars XDDD), naturally I become stronger. It all thanks to all the Justins.

Ruki: I don’t want to imagine it, but, for causing yourself a scar, you definitely need power, right?

Kou: If you hurt yourself that bad, you’ll lose your arm!

Azusa: It’s fine. I’ll be troubled if I lose them all. I will not hurt myself until I broke my own bone. *chuckle* I’m very good at stopping at the very dangerous limit to hurt myself.

Ruki: Hh… It makes my dorsal muscle rigid just to imagine the pain.

Yuuma: By the way, is your condition okay, Ruki?

Ruki: Me? Who you ask that to?

Yuuma: I never saw you doing exercise before.

Ruki: Eventhough I don’t move my body, I always use my brain to think. So I am totally fine.

Kou: I heard that using your brain used so much energy. Then, Ruki-kun always burnt his energy finely.

Ruki: I might not use energy as much as Yuuma. But so far I will not ranked the lowest. So don’t worry. But, that person had made so much trouble.

Azusa: The true purpose… is not to clean his room, right?

Ruki: Right.

Yuuma: It’s because they’re too lazy, he wants them to work out. What a drag guys.

Kou: Is that so? He might want them to plainly clean his room.

Ruki: If he wants to clean his room, he can order the familiars, right? On top of that, those guys are ignorance if it comes to cleaning. The real reason is…

Azusa: As expected, his real sons are important to him? Even though he had us too.

Ruki: And the reason behind all that happen so far is for them all too.

Yuuma: Tck, so boring.

Kou: Right? So irritating. After all that happens, what they have gotten though?

Ruki: Stop, Kou. That person is a benefactor for us. You understand it, right?

Kou: I know, though.

Ruki: Living in world is not fair. Now, let’s just enjoy our tea for a little while more. With just four of us.

Ayato: Yosh! Finally it’s the day of physical measurement! Every day I endure myself from eating Takoyaki. Now my body feels so light, and I must be on the proportional weight.

Kanato: I… won’t drink sugar-contented milk anymore. No, I think I had drink sugar worth for the time I live. With this, I should gain height. If not… it’s cruel. It’s so cruel… *crying*

Raito: I’m agreeing with that. Ufu. Because of that healthy vinegar, I think my body is soft enough. Right, Bitch-chan?

Subaru: Why are you asking her? Well, It’s such a long time for me not to locked myself inside the coffin, and because I was always seeing something from a far recently, I feel light my sight is getting better.

Shu: Hah… so troublesome. Who cares about all that, right? Even if I do as I normally do, I will not rank the last.

Reiji: *laugh* If you think so, you could normally eat something oily. Good for nothing. That means you’ll be the lowest rank.

Shu: That won’t do.

Reiji: !!

Kanato: Hm? What is it? Seems like you have something to say.

Raito: What’s wrong, Bitch-chan?

Ayato: Huh? Today we are not going to measure our physical health, but our physical strenght? Didn’t we already say that before?

Subaru: Huh? Beside Reiji the rest of us had do something that has nothing to do with physical strength measurement? Huh… *shock in realize*

Kanato: Why didn’t you tell us before?!?!?!

Ayato: Seriously? Oi, Chichinashi, don’t joke around! It has nothing to do with it?!?! Even I endure myself not to eat takoyaki for so long too?

Raito: Eh… Vinegar also had nothing to do with it??

Ayato: Oi, you Chichinashi! Are you joking?!

Ruki: Hh… whenever I see you all, it hurt my eyes.

Ayato: Huh?!?! What? It’s you Ruki? I thought you were so scared and run away.

Ruki: I don’t have to do that, right?

Kou: Hey, don’t bully M-nekochan!

Azusa: Hmm. Right. I heard you all. Eve is not in fault. Right?

Yuuma: Hm, you’re right. Mesu-Buta, not different from us, is a hardworker. *laugh*

Subaru: HUH?!?! Don’t tell me, you are that kind of girl?

Kanato: Heh… you’re not? You said you are not like that, I can’t believe that!

Raito: Ufu. It seems I will have to give you an intense punishment later~

Kou: Hey, I-Told-You… It’s not M-nekochan’s fault. Can you please listen to what people said?

Ruki: Kou. Leave them. Whatever the result of the measurement later, there will be one group among us who will have to do the cleaning. Livestock, don’t worry. (Ruki called Yui with Kachiku/livestock)

Reiji: My, my. Everyone, the measurement will start soon. Let’s move to the sport hall.

Shu: So troublesome. In the sport hall the noise will resound back, it’s so noisy.

*The measurement had ended*

Kanato: *laugh bitterly*It’s already night…

Ayato: Impossible. What the hell is going on?

Raito: I don’t know. It’s only something happen in manga. They were just too perfect.

Reiji: Even though it looks impossible, it’s still the truth.

Kanato: I don’t want to accept it. Ah… No way… to clean that man’s room… I will never forget it… a giant slug… No… I don’t want to enter that room ever again!

Kou: Ahahaha…. This is really a miracle! It’s amazing thing, right? Amazing~ Amazing~

Yuuma: You’re right. Even if there are six of you, the total score of your measurement is the same six number, only 666 points! *laugh* Well, we got more than 900 points. In physical strength we are unbeatable.

Subaru: No way. I’m not good with slug. Moreover it’s the giant one. It’s really not happening! But more than that to run away from that damn old man is more impossible. I want to be inside my coffin…

Azusa: Subaru-san, you look really desperate. It’s a bit pitiful. Are you okay? Do you want me to lend you my knife? If you hurt yourself a bit, I think it will cool down your feelings.

Kou: Oh my, Azusa-kun, that’s so scary, please don’t

Azusa: Ah, sorry.

Ruki: Hm? Livestock, what’s wrong?

Kou: Hm? Everyone doesn’t need to be so desperate; you are willing to clean the room?? M-Nekochan you’re really… a doM, huh?

Yuuma: Mesu-Buta!! Do you know how the real condition of Karl Heinz room is?

Azusa: I heard something before. There’s an insect there, and it’s a big one! It’s far bigger than us… Do you know it?

Raito: Bitch-chan, you’re… not just a mere Bitch-chan, right? You’re a good girl, right?

Ayato: Hey, for just a mere chichinashi, you’re being so cheeky!

Kanato: Right… For no reason I’m so pissed off because you’re covering for us. If I got a help from someone like you, even if I scared, I will clean it by myself!! Don’t make light of me!!!

Shu: So tired. Whatever with cleaning.

Reiji: It can’t be helped. We can make no more excuses. We have to do it.

Subaru: Darn… Then… then… I have no other choice except to destroy it! Whatever exists inside that room, insects or something, I will crush them all!!!

Raito: Wah… Subaru-kun you’re so reliable. Rather than cleaning the room, that is a better solution.

Ayato: Right! That’s a good idea! Let’s just shock our father! Hahaha…

Kou: Seems like it will be so fun. Really. I never get bored to Sakamaki Brothers because they always think such a stupid idea.

Ruki: Kou, are you going to join them?

Kou: Heh… of course not! Karl Heinz-sama might get angry at me.

Azusa: Hm… it’s okay if we do nothing, right? I kind of want to see the slug. I want to keep it.

Yuuma: Oi, oi, Azusa you want to see that slug?

Kanato: *laugh* Right, that’s true. Let’s unified our power and kill all the insects. Right! Stab, chop, then burn them all! And then let’s hang them! *laugh*

Ayato: You’re right! I’m in the mood to crush down some building!

Ruki: They’re no longer desperate about it.

Reiji: *sigh* Well, finally even how desperate we are, we are still going to do whatever our father says.

 

Translator’s Note:

[1] Drinking vinegar is said to be good for your health. Even in Japan, there’s a vinegar health drink which already contain more sweetener.

 

 __________________________

Translation team member: Kanransha

Rose Tea [Keith Alford - Oneshot]

            Luke brought two pots of tea for breakfast. The king and queen were busy so there were only Keith and his crown princess in the dining room.

“Ugh… even the smell is repulsive,” Keith scowled as Luke poured a cup of rose tea for ______.

“Keith, it’s not that bad. C’mon… you’re just overreacting,” she sighed exaggeratedly.

Luke used a silver tong to put his finishing touch: two blocks of sugar and a dried rose flower on top. The rose drifted from side to side before finally absorbing the water and sunk to the bottom of the cup.

When the tea was ready, Luke put it in front of her and she turned the cup so the handle was on the left. Luke then poured a cup of Earl Grey for Keith.

“I don’t think so. I’m not overreacting because it’s the truth,” Keith drank his tea. “Right, Luke?”

“Um…,” Luke looked at Keith and then back at her. In the end, he could not choose so he tried to change the topic, “I’m sorry to rush you but we need to get ready soon for the parade, Your Highness.”

“I know…!” Keith growled and asked Luke to leave them alone. “We’ll call you if we need something.”

            As Luke left the room, she started her usual argument, “Keith, I wonder how do I make you try this rose tea? It’s delicious!”

“Never. It reminds me of the Levancois and I have enough of his whatever rose talk,” finishing his tea, he started to chew on his food faster.

She propped her chin with the back of her palm, “There’ll be a day, Keith. I swear I’m going to make you try it at least once in my lifetime.”

Keith just scoffed and ignored her.

Smiling coldly, she stood up and giving him a light kiss on the cheek, “I better get ready rather than seeing the face of my grumpy husband even a minute longer.”

Keith turned on his chair but she was already giving him her back.

“Hey, what do you mean?!” he protested.

            The people cheered loudly as the royalties’ cars coasted along the main street of Liberty. Keith and _______ waved at the crowd to celebrate Liberty’s independence day, pretending that they were on good terms when all they did was bickering all the time.

The parade moved smoothly and they were about to reach the city hall when one of the bodyguards ran to them and shouted, “Your Highnesses!”

Keep reading

Today, by simultaneously ending world hunger and destroying the world.

Approximately 5-6 years ago as a nerdy 12 year old I had found a small minecraft server. This server was basically about 100 people building extravagant designs. These people put a lot of work into this server, like up to hundreds of hours each.

The admins on the server were pretty trusting and gave everyone mod tools, which basically meant you had god mode and could use commands to make building easier.

I used the command which allows you to fill the volume between 2 points with a certain block. I unknowingly set one of the points at the ‘spawn’ and then walked diagonally for about half an hour to find a free region to build a house.

It was going to be a sky house I decided, so I built a tower to the top of the world and started with a nice pond. I wanted to surround the pond with sugar cane block, so I used the fill all command.

Here’s where I fucked up. I thought I set the first point at one corner of the pond and the other at a connecting corner. Instead, the first point was still at the spawn (half hours walk away!) and the second was in my pond.

I used the fill command and filled the space with sugar cane. If I recall correctly, close to 600 million blocks of fucking sugar cane.

The thing about sugar cane is that if it’s not next to water or if it’s stacked above a height of 5, it drops into an item on the ground.

I had just dropped 600 million cubic metres of sugar cane on to the ground.

Unsurprisingly the server crashed after a few minutes due to the intense load.

I found out through the servers IRC chat that the map AND the server couldn’t be saved. Which means the backups couldn’t be accessed, nor the chat logs, so they didn’t know I did it. The admin of the server had to delete the map completely and create a new one. Needless to say, the players didn’t like this one bit. The 100 players dwindled to about 10 before the server was shut down due to low interest.

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2

This guy is absolutely horrible. He wasted 4h of my time, awful conversation skills, only talks about himself and if he asks about you, it’s either invasive or something you’ve already said.

He is sexist af, salty as hell, he bitched about buying me a wallet for $30…

He made inappropriate comments, tried to pressure me into going back to his hotel and guilt trip me about him driving to my city.

He did not give me any money. He floated 300 euro in messages, but now reading them again I can see that he would have payed up only for sex, if even.

He ended the meeting with saying that he feels exploited because he paid for food and the wallet and I won’t have sex with him.

He is also pretty gross irl.

Also it was cold and instead of just buying me a jacket he offered me his greasy old and huge one… Ew.

He talked a lot about his failed relationships and how women suck.

Don’t even bother. I went to dinner with him because he came to my city and I had a free day anyway.

HE DOESN’T WANT TO GIVE YOU MONEY AT ALL, HE WANTS A ‘REAL RELATIONSHIP’ for free of course because he’s so charming

Or he’ll try to pay you for sex on the first meeting


His name is Donald, he’s a sound engineer for automotive sound systems in Munich.
You can probably Google him for his full name.

EW AND BLOCKED