i feel i have been ghostwriting myself. like i walk my body through the world and let none of it in. the other day my teacher asked us “are you happy with who you are?” and i couldn’t think of what words to fill in. the good girl i’m supposed to be would laugh lightly, of course i’m happy, i’m always happy. but some little part of me wonders how long it’s been since i was really behind the wheel. since i did anything that actually made me feel.