blitherings

You Smell Like Cupcakes.

Request from anon: Can I request one where Bucky & his gf spend the night together the first time and he’s being super snuggley the morning after? He teases her cause she smells like cupcakes cause she owns the bakery where they first met. I love stories where he falls for an ordinary girl. They’re always so fluffy!

Bucky x Reader

Words: 1,535

Warnings: None really. There is implied smut but none of it is written out.

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their creators <3

Cupcakes.

They had never been the first thing on Bucky’s mind and given the choice between them and some fresh fruit from the market he would be happy to admit that he was much more likely to go for the latter rather than the former. However that all seemed to change the day he had been forcefully dragged into a bakery by Steve.

He seriously needed to show that punk what ‘a fun outing’ should consist of because in normal society that definitely wasn’t it.

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Caged (5)

Synopsis: What happens when Loki meets someone who actually calls him on his bullshit instead of running and hiding?
Word Count : 1017
A/N: Please send me some prank ideas for the next part, I don’t feel like I have nearly enough in it! Also hit me up with your thoughts and feels?

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

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Crush

Request from anon: Eren having a crush on Reader (she’s older) and Levi reacting to it :) ———————–—————–

“Jaeger! Quit staring at (Y/N) and get over here so we can spar!”

You whipped your head around at the mention of your name and saw Jean laughing wildly as Mikasa glared openly at him. Glancing to the left, you could see Eren, who’s cheeks were flushed a deep shade of ruby.

“Kirstein! Where are those laps you owe me from yesterday? You had better get running, unless you want another ten to do!”

His laughter stopped abruptly as he locked eyes with you, hopping off the fence he was sitting on and breaking directly into a sprint.

“Hmm. Seems you have learned a thing or two from me.”

The smirk on Levi’s face was evident in his tone as he stepped beside you.

“I guess you’ve rubbed off on me a little.”

You smiled over your shoulder at him, crossing your arms as you watched the rest of the squad fall in line while you and Levi approached.

“All right, brats. I’m not going to–Oi! Connie! What are you blithering on about, brat?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed in the startled boy’s direction, waiting for a response as he folded his arms tightly across his chest.

“He was just mentioning how Jean is suffering for blabbing in front of Squad Leader (Y/N) that Eren has a crush on her.”

Sasha took a generous bite of the potato she was snacking on, chewing happily and completely oblivious to Levi’s astonished expression.

“Wha–”

Levi shook his head quickly, before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“What the hell is with you pathetic, good-for-nothing-brats?! All of you, fifteen laps, now! Oi, Kirstein, that’s another fifteen for you!”

Biting your lip, you struggled not to laugh as you looked down, listening to all of them shuffle as they took off running.

“Are you..jealous?”

With everyone else out of earshot, you let out the giggle you were restraining, earning you a dramatic roll-of-the-eyes from Levi.

“Hey, I’m just asking. I mean, if you feel threatened by a fifteen year old boy, let me know.”

Levi sighed as you continued to laugh, then he glared over at the running figures.

“Jaeger! Quit slacking off! That’s another five laps, brat!”

You turned away, covering your mouth as you tried to calm your laughter. Levi shot a sideways glance in your direction, but you could tell he was forcing back a smile.

“Come on, Captain. It’s a little funny.”

You took a step towards him, wrapping your arm around his waist as you stood directly beside him.

“Only thing that’s funny is that brat thinking he would ever even remotely have a chance with you.”

You cracked up again and looked over to see his stoic expression had broken into an amused smile.

“You’re the only one for me. Besides, I’m not into younger men.”

“Oi, watch your tongue or I’ll have you out running laps next, brat.”

Levi smirked playfully as he pulled you in closer to him, kissing you gently.

this one goes out to all the blithering self-righteous crapspouts who think my opinions on hitting children, spying on children, or adults’ responsibility to respect children’s rights and human dignity generally will change when I “grow up” or become a parent myself.

I’m 30 years old. my understanding of the fact that children’s rights are not determined by parents has never been stronger than it is today. shut up.

I study and teach on children’s rights for a living. I have graduate degrees in childhood studies and psychology. in case this isn’t clear, that means I know more than you do. being an adult doesn’t make you an authority. putting years of hard bloody work put into becoming an expert does. shut up.

whether or not I have kids of my own doesn’t matter, because being a parent makes you an expert on children’s rights in pretty much the same way being a man makes you an expert on feminism (as in, it doesn’t, at all). but regardless, no, I’m not a parent. I have, on the other hand, been a teacher, a tutor, a nanny, a camp supervisor, a legal advocate, and in one instance, the temporary guardian/person solely responsible for a group of kids going through serious trauma as a result of parental abuse and an ongoing custody/CPS battle. through all of it I’ve managed not to be a shitty human being who treats people like they don’t deserve the same basic dignity and respect I demand from others. the fact that you can’t handle responsibility without turning tyrannical doesn’t mean others have the same failing. shut up.

even if younger people’s views were automatically different from yours, that wouldn’t make them less important. that would make your views less important. children are the highest authority on whether or not something you’re doing to them is disrespectful or wrong. claiming that being a child means your view of how adults treat you can automatically be discounted is gross and abusive in itself. it’s gaslighting in the extreme. shut up.

finally, there are plenty of people your age who are capable of understanding that what you’re doing is wrong, and you do not get to lump us in with you and claim us as allies. that’s the same as the goddamn “it’s just locker room talk all guys do it” defense. I’m an adult, and I’m not on your side. plenty of adults - plenty of parents - are not on your side.

shut. the hell. up.

Official translations for the Gruvia scene, perceptions, and a detailed rant.

Official translations for the Gruvia scene!

Gray: “What are you even thinking?”
Juvia: “Juvia is sorry!”
Gray: “It left a scar huh”?
Juvia: “I don’t mind”
Gray: “Why don’t you ask Wendy, she could probably fix it”
Juvia: “and yours as well, Gray-sama”
Gray: “Guys and girls are different!” “Your body is…”
Juvia: “My body is..?”
Gray: “something I care about, cause you’re kinda mine”.

From what others said before, essentially Gray doesn’t want Juvia’s scar to be there because he doesn’t want to be reminded me of how he didn’t protect Juvia from dying. He finds Juvia’s body to be special and sacred. He said he cares about Juvia’s body because she is his! Juvia is extremely happy to hear those words for him! She’s completely comfortable! There’s no other meaning to this! It’s plain and simple!

Don’t ever fucking accuse Gray of being someone who wants to dominate Juvia and objectify her body! Don’t twist his words out of context! That’s just pathetic and sad of you if you did so, and you should truly be ashamed of yourself!

This confirms Gray was not sexist whatsoever. Previously manga-stream scans butchered his words and do a terrible job of translating.

Crunchyrolls are legit.

For those who stooped so low to call him a “sexist” or acted as a “sexist”, need to immediately slap themselves in the face for giving him that disgusting unnecessary label.

It’s such a darn shame, how people don’t seem to think when posting and type whatever blithering nonsense to desperate attempt to fit their biased, non-objective narrative. Way to be clueless! It’s like they can’t be patient enough to atleast wait for the accurate translations to come up!

BTW this scene made me even more happier, now!

I’m proud to be a fan of gray and juvia!

GRUVIA IS CANON. PERIOD.

anonymous asked:

oh god are you one of those people who reads romeo and juliet as a romance rather than a tragedy

I thought I was gonna go to bed early tonight but I guess not

hey friend you just unleashed my nerdy wrath buckle up

short answer: no, I know r&j is a tragedy and I read it as such. Shakespeare didn’t write “romances”, at least not in the sense you mean (some people call his later stuff that’s harder to put into a genre ‘romances’, such as the winter’s tale and the tempest)

so no I’m not a moron thanks

here’s the long answer:

I presume you’re “one of those people” who likes to count themselves as the Specialest Snowflake In All The Land because they don’t buy into the fake cheesy idea of //romance// that everyone else so blindly believes

maybe you like to talk about how romeo and juliet were “just horny teenagers”, how they knew each other for three days, how romeo so loved rosaline thirty seconds before spotting juliet, so clearly he’s fickle and silly. they weren’t actually in love, they were just teenage idiots.
because only stupid girls buy that stuff.
you’re more mature than that.
am I right?

well, here’s the thing, sunshine- you aren’t special. I hear this same damn argument right down to the last word every time I mention my love of this play and it ENRAGES me every time because 99% of the time this is coming from /other teenagers/. other young people talking about how this isn’t a story to be taken SERIOUSLY. it’s silly and frivolous and unrealistic. they don’t realize that this play is dedicated to them.

and it’s criticizing people just like you.

while I do believe that these two young people were soul mates (I’ll get to that later), I don’t really think this is a story about love. it’s a story about /passion/- how love and hate are only a hair’s breadth apart and their overwhelming capacity for healing or for destroying. the emotion that drives mercutio to defend romeo from tybalt. what drives mercutio to be killed at his hand. what pushes formerly docile, dreamy romeo to slay his cousin in law: it all begins to seem like the same continuous passion, enflaming the same group of people on the hottest day of the year.

as a result, love isn’t a pretty thing in this play. it’s linked inextricably to death, to murder, to chaos. love is presented as the most dangerous force in the universe. it leaves five bodies in its wake, and then at the end (people forget this) it’s what finally brings the ancient feud to an end.
it’s not silly. it’s not frivolous. o brawling love, o loving hate.

and who are the conductors of this unstoppable force? who sets verona burning and then rebuilds it better in under a week?


kids.


people with a shitty understanding of this play who love to dismiss it and downplay it like to call it a “cautionary tale”- why you shouldn’t think with your dick, why you should grow up and not be so rash, be sensible.

I agree with part of this. it is a cautionary tale. but it’s directed at YOU.

you, who devalue youth. you, who underestimate teenagers and what they’re capable of, who wave off their every thought or feeling with “just a kid”. who think that love is a pretty little silly thing and that no one under the age of 25 is capable of really experiencing it. that the kids don’t MATTER.

capulet thought it- he dismissed tybalt’s rage during the party as dumb kids throwing a hissy fit. he wrote juliet off as a child who should be seen and not heard, shuffled from her father to her husband, guided by the wisdom of those older and wiser than her.

in the world presented in the play, age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. the adults range from careless (montague) to helpless (lady capulet) to blithering (the nurse). the wisest character, the most eloquent and intelligent one with the most beautiful poetry, is fourteen year old juliet.
(go back and read it. whose speeches are the most beautiful, sophisticated, complex? Juliet’s.)

okay, fine, you say. but they didn’t love each other, they just saw each other and got hot and bothered and wanted to jump the other’s bones! anyway, what about rosaline?!

I’ll address rosaline first:

shakespeare likes making fun of the poets of old (take for instance his “my mistress’ eyes” sonnet, a deliberate parody of the Petrarchan model of frilly love poetry). heres another example in romeo. when we first meet romeo he’s mooning over a girl in the frilliest, stalest, most formulaic verse imaginable. we get the feeling he’s enjoying himself, basking in his misery.

notice, though, that we never see rosaline on stage. she represents romeo’s vague infatuation with the //idea// of love, the pretty image he made up in his head from reading old poems. this not only creates an incredible arc in his character, but makes his love for juliet obviously the real deal by comparison. he meets juliet and his world goes into free fall; he’s rash and violent and impulsive, and the verse that was so stale and ingenuine before shifts into some of the most famous passionate poetry in the english language.
in his first scene, he asks “is love a tender thing?” he falls in love with juliet- REAL love, not the kind in poems- and comes to answer his own question: no. no it fucking isn’t.


but, you say. but they CANT have loved each other! you don’t fall in love just by LOOKING at someone!

yeah, I know you don’t.

but here’s the thing. if you aren’t willing to suspend some modicum of disbelief, you won’t get anything from shakespeare. period.

we’re already assuming that these people just happen to walk around speaking in blank verse and rhyming couplet. the plot of hamlet relies on the existence of a ghost, a midsummer night’s dream on fairies, macbeth on witches, the tempest on magic, measure for measure on the friggin /bed trick/- is it SUCH A HORRIBLE STRETCH FOR YOUR CYNICAL POSTMODERN MIND TO MAKE that characters can identify their soulmates with a look? have we reached that level of lazy cynicism as a society that magical love flowers and vengeful ghosts are believable, where a woman can turn into a boy by shoving a hat over her hair and statues spring to life as deceased loved ones, but love at first sight (a very very common Elizabethan plot device; it’s /everywhere/ in shakespeare) is just too much of a stretch?

no one rolls their eyes at hamlet because “ghosts aren’t real. are you one of those people who believe in ghosts?” no- they take it for the plot device that it is in order to get to the message of the play as a whole, and the truths of the human conditions it reveals, with the help of some purely theatrical elements.

but kids in love. that’s far too silly.


it’s really fucking sad.


and questions like yours, anon? those make me really, really fucking sad.

9 Reasons Why the New “Beauty and the Beast” is Better Than the 1991 Original

I know, such a crazy notion, but as a die-hard fan of the original 1991 animated classic, as a young woman who adored Belle and looked up to her as a young girl, and as someone who loves Disney, I truly believe that while the cartoon classic is phenomenal, the new live-action reimagining is astoundingly better. Here are my reasons why:

1. Back-story 

In the original I always had SO MANY QUESTIONS. Mainly–how in the hell did a village less than a few miles away not know that a giant castle that once was home to a wealthy and powerful Prince was RIGHT THERE? Who was the Prince ruling over if the villagers had no clue this place and this beast existed? Why were the servants cursed if they weren’t the ones who turned the old woman away? Why was the Prince so cold-hearted, arrogant, and shallow? The prologue amongst other scenes in the 2017 film address all these questions.

We learn that the enchantress placed a spell on the villagers to make them forget about the Prince and everyone in the castle. This explains how no one knew it was there, and also the sense of lawlessness in the village, because if their ruler–the Prince–vanished, and no one remembered him then whose in charge? Gaston? No wonder it’s a mess there.

We also learn why Beast is so cold-hearted, we learn his mother died when he was young and his father was emotionally abusive, and raised him to be a spoiled, arrogant, shallow shell of a man. We also learn that the servants witnessed the emotional abuse of this child and did nothing to stop it–deeming them worthy of punishment for being so cowardly and selfish as to not help the Prince when he was young.

Now someone asked me why the hell Chip and the dog were cursed too, they didn’t do anything. My theory is the curse was really only taking effect inside the ballroom, all the servants were in there for the ball, and in the opening sequence we see Chip running in to see what’s the matter and Mrs. Potts running after him–terrified. I believe she sensed the danger in the ballroom, and was trying to save Chip from meeting the same fate as the rest of them, and ultimately–she failed. The Maestro and Madame de Garderobe’s dog was in the ballroom as well, so I guess he was just unlucky also.

We also learn that Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts had spouses who must’ve been away from the castle when the spell was cast, causing them tragically (at least in Mrs. Potts case) to be forgotten by their loves.


2. Belle the Feminist Activist

It was never made clear in the cartoon film that it wasn’t just ‘odd’ that Belle liked reading it was ‘odd’ that a low-born woman in 18th century France even COULD read. It wouldn’t occur to children (it certainly didn’t to me) that her reading in public is practically illegal and worthy of public shame. In the cartoon it was just all ‘lol books are lame,’ In the live action not only does Belle not have a town bookshop to go to (because seriously, why would a town of mostly illiterate people who hate reading have a bookshop) she is merely friends with the Priest who owns less than a dozen books. THAT IS ALL SHE HAS. And then she teaches another young girl how to read and is publicly shamed for it, and still doesn’t back down, because she believes that women deserve the same rights as men. 

In the beginning sequence of the town, we literally see boys marching into school while the girls are stuck doing the wash. Belle also refuses to waste valuable reading time on the laundry–so girl INVENTS A WASHING MACHINE! 

When Belle gets to the castle, she tricks the Beast into taking her instead. She tries savvy ways to escape. She never flings herself onto the bed and cries like in the cartoon. She fights every damn second.

In the end she doesn’t even change out of her ballgown to go save her father, she just hops on her horse and goes. 

Belle was ALWAYS strong, but this 2017 Belle is formidable and a force to be reckoned with.


3. Tragic love

In the 1991 film, the wardrobe was a goofy character there for laughs, as was Plumette. Also, Lumiere and Plumette’s relationship in the cartoon was creepy and borderline sexual harassment. It was pure lust. In this version, they are madly in love and Lumiere clearly cares about her so much. 

We also see Madama de Garderobe and Maestro Cadenza (a brilliant new character) who are also madly in love, but unlike Lumiere and Plumette can’t even be with one another during the curse due to the stationary limitations as the objects they’ve been cursed to be. By the time Madame finally makes her way downstairs to be with Maestro it is too late, the curse is taking away their life. The moment when Lumiere realizes he has lost Plumette, and where Maestro realizes he has lost Madame, add a heart-breaking very raw and real layer to the story. It’s not just about Belle and Beast, these servants aren’t just funny objects that talk, they were people too. They had a life and loves and that was stolen from them just as it was the Beast.

4. Papa and Belle’s Motherless Backstory

In the cartoon, Belle’s father is simply a goofy character. He’s a blithering idiot who makes pointless inventions. In this version, he is an artist who had to leave his plagued wife behind in Paris in order to save their only daughter. We see him live with the pain of this everyday. We see him and Belle have a beautiful, genuine relationship. We see him fight whole-heartedly for Belle. We see him give her courage and strength to never back down from who she is.

And we learn something that the cartoon NEVER gave us–we learn of Belle’s mother. Lost to the plague when Belle was a babe, with nothing but a rose-shaped rattle to remember her by, that her Father captured in a painting. Explaining why Belle always asks for one. We learn that Belle–like her father and mother–is willing to sacrifice everything for the ones that she loves.


5. Classic Fairytale Homage 

While the cartoon held almost no remnants of the original fairytale written over 500 years ago, or the original French film made in the 40s, the 2017 version pays homage to both. 

Belle asking for simply a rose from her father’s travels, as well as Beast and his servants preparing Maurice a fire and dinner when he arrives at the castle, but Beast only growing angry when Maurice steals the rose–is taken directly from the pages of the fairytale. 

We also see another fun easter egg reference to the french film: when Maurice walks up to the door–he sees the front lantern is being held by what looks like a human arm made of stone, which in the French film, was an incredibly iconic scene when Belle walks through the dungeon to find her father.


6. A Real Antagonist

Cartoon Gaston is again, a 2D character there to provide some conflict at the end. The 2017 version shows him as the epitome of prejudice, hatred and sexism. He expresses many times throughout the film the the sees Belle as prey for him to hunt. He leaves Maurice for dead in the wood. The lyrics of the mob song were even changed to include his verse “but I know they all will follow, for in times like this they do just as I say.” Gaston is the scariest Disney villain because people like him exist in real-life. Gaston and his angry mob of blind-followers provide a tangible conflict outside of the curse that the cartoon simply did not provide.


7. A Shared Love of Reading

It never made a damn bit of sense in the 1991 cartoon and the Broadway musical adaptation–that Beast was illiterate. If ANYONE during the time could read it sure as hell would’ve been the wealthy Prince. All aristocracy could read and most men knew how to read a little. So yeah, a Prince could read.

So the fact that he and Belle share a love of reading adds and element to their friendship bred romance that didn’t exist prior to this reimagining.


8. New Music

What would Beauty and the Beast be without those iconic numbers like: ‘Belle,’ ‘Gaston,’ ‘Be Our Guest,’ and of course, the title song–made famous by Angela Lansbury– ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ When Broadway adapted the cartoon film years ago, they added some songs of their own, such as the Broadway-Buff-Beloved number– ‘Home.’ So naturally it would’ve been easy for the writers and directors of this film to just buy the rights to those songs and call it a day. Instead we got 5 gorgeous new numbers, and 1 new reprise. We got the opening ‘Aria,’ sung at the Prince’s beginning ball by Madame de Garderobe, we get ‘How Does a Moment Last Forever,’ sung by Maurice, singing about remembering his late wife. Then we later get the Montmartre of this song sung by Belle as she recalls the lost ‘Paris of her childhood,’ in an all new scene where her and Beast use a magic book to travel to the attic where she lost her mother. We get ‘Days in the Sun,’ where we hear from the servants and the pain they feel as well living under the curse. We get, ‘Evermore,’ the torrid, angst-filled lamenting ballad Beast sings when he let’s Belle go. And lastly, we get a never before heard reprise of ‘Beauty and the Beast,’ sung by Mrs. Potts ( Emma Thompson) at Belle and Beast’s wedding. These news songs add more passion to the film. (Evermore is my personal favorite)

9. Gay Lefou

It’s about damn time. Cartoon Lefou is definitely alluded to being in-love with Gaston, but Josh Gads blatantly homosexual portrayal was brilliant, and as a member of the queer community–made me so happy.

Yes, in ‘Frozen’ we got the one throw-away joke about Oaken being gay, but it was 0.5 seconds long and barely delved into. In this 2017 film, Lefou makes many sexual innuendos towards Gaston, publicly cuddles Gaston, and in the end dances happily with another queer fellow at Belle and Beast’s wedding, and this is an amazing step forward for the Disney franchise to start having openly queer characters in their films.


SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! My 9 reasons why the 2017 Beauty and the Beast is better than the 1991 original. I still love the original and it will always have a fond place in my heart–but when movie nights of the future come round, I will opt to put on the 2017 version instead, and experience a Tale as Old as Time, retold for a new generation.

The Swear Jar

Dr. Flug, in an effort to keep the newly-created 5.0.5 (who is basically the equivalent of a baby) from being exposed to foul language, starts up a swear jar. It’s not like he’s the one who needs it; he rarely curses unless his devices aren’t working.

Dementia, to everyone’s surprise, finds it easy to stop swearing. She just breaks something whenever she feels like cursing instead. Flug realizes that this might not have been an improvement.

They have to trick Black Hat into doing this.

“Surely the Incredibly Evil Black Hat has the best control over himself. I’m sure he’d find a challenge like this easy” says Flug in a deadpan voice. BH laughs and says he’s not that stupid.

And Flug lays down his trap card

“Shame, I guess it’s either gonna be me or Demencia who wins all the money–”

“Say what now where

So BH joins the Swear Jar group. It’s. A mistake.

“Flug you blithering idiot if you don’t have this prototype done by tonight I will personally wring your fucking nec– oh fuck– SHIT– SON OF A. MMMMMMNPH”

Black Hat has smoke coming out of his hat at this point. Dementia can’t stop laughing; Flug sees his life flash before his eyes. BH, with shaking hands, puts a fistful of cash in the swear jar and leaves.

They collectively give up on the swear Jar about three days later when BH has a tantrum that shakes the entire house and leaves him broke.

Malec Fic Recs

So…Ive been meaning to do this for a while so here goes..Im trying to concentrate on fics I’ve found that have smaller hit rates because quite frankly there are some amazing stories out there by super talent writers that you really, really should give a shot… but realistically there’ll be some more well known ones as well because I’m weak

Anyway enough blithering on here goes…

Permanent Resident - Bumblebeesknees (rating E)  15015 words Complete

Full disclosure I’m a massive mythology geek so this is right up my street. This mythology AU features Magnus/Hades, Alec/Persephone, Jace/Hermes and Maryse/Demeter amongst many others.

It’s a funny and sweet take on a traditional myth and is a joy to read…I guarantee it’ll make you smile :-)

Devotion - JezTheMadFicster (rating T) 3707words Complete  @jezthemadficster

This little fic is simply adorable and a must read. Lecturer Magnus AU and the language of flowers and it’s lovely…truly. Jez is such a talented writer as I hope a lot of you already have discovered but this little gem is perfect in every way.

(Also if you haven’t read Jez’s WIP I Won’t Let You Fall read it cos it’s awesome)

It’s a Kind of Magic - Thealmostrhetoricalquestion (rating G) WIP chapters 3/?

@thealmostrhetoricalquestion

What can I say about this fic…it’s a delight. Featuring Magical Magnus and Human Alec and a very magical flat. It’s sweet and funny and beautifully observed. If you want a fic to brighten your day and make you laugh this is the one for you…

Hour Of Separation - blj2007 (rating T) 5048 Words Complete 

@blj2007

Want some BAMFAlec and BAMFMagnus…well this one’s for you. I literally couldn’t not include it because not only is Britt a wonderful writer but she’s also an all round lovely human being. Seriously this is so good…do check out her other works, I promise you’ll be glad you did…

Sympathy for the Prince - Ketz  (rating M) 31,867 words Complete

@ketzwrites

Lucifer meets Malec..sign me up…Let’s face it everything Ketz writes is amazing and this is no exception. It’s funny and sweet with a detective background. 

Oh and do read some of Ketz’s other fics as well - you won’t regret it.

Count to Ten and Breathe - StarWitness42 (rating G463 words Complete

@baneismyexistence

Ok so this little drabble post 2x12 is seriously angsty but it’s just so good…it may break your heart but trust me it’s worth it.

Cheer yourself up by reading StarWitness’ multi chapter fic Holding the stick immediately afterwards…honestly so good..

Lead The Way - clockworkswan (rating T) 28806 words complete

@clockworkswans

Doctor who/Malec fusion and its lovely…truly. Let’s be honest we all know that anything this writer produces is pure gold and this is no exception…I thoroughly recommend binging the rest of this writer’s works too..

Driving Him Insane - LadyMatt (rating M) 1504 words Complete @ladymatt

A perfect little smuttastic drabble by the lovely M. I had to include this because a) its really good and b) LadyMatt is such a great person and doesn’t realise how good a writer she is as well as being an awesome Beta to boot.

ok so that’s it for now… honestly i could go on for days because there are so many talented writers in this fandom I can’t even…. I’ve tried to include the less well known fics here (I’ve cheated a little with some very popular talented writers so there’s that) and there are so many awesome stories that I adore so I will almost certainly rec more soon…If anyone has any recs feel free to tell me - as an avid reader Im desperate for more…

Oh and don’t forget if you like any of these fics don’t forget to comment…you’ll make a writers day - and happy writers tend to write more so it’s win win :-)

random cross-house things to make you smile

Slytherclaws/Raverins are excellent at planning revenge and will wait until the perfect time to get the most satisfaction out of your embarrassment, they are the ones who just sit back and quietly watch people fail instead of having to lift a finger to aid in your destruction. But they’re the best kind of friends because, unlike Slytherdors or Gryffinpuffs, they won’t die for you; they’ll find a way out of death for both of you, and if you ever have a problem with someone or are having a bad day, they’ll cheer you up by hurting whomever is responsible and giving you a day off by coming up with excuses for all your teachers while you relax.

Slytherpuffs/Hufferins are the sweet ones who will fool you into a sense of comfortability and then have no problem getting/taking what they want from you or wiping the floor with you in a competition; they often win things by playing up the shy/quiet/lame sterotype of Hufflepuff and then surprising people with wicked smart tactics and strategy. They won’t correct your ideas right off the bat, but you can expect them to come running in a week or two later, shouting about how to fix what was wrong with your plans.

Slytherdors/Gryfferins are forces to be reckoned with; they hate injustice and dishonor and have no problem with destroying the wicked, they will rejoice in the demise of people they don’t like. You know if they don’t like you because they will vocally ignore you and random crappy things will happen to you when they’re around. The quiet Slytherdors/Gryfferins are even more dangerous. If they’re your friends, they’ll risk their necks to find crazy loopholes out of or into things for you. They’ll either loudly correct your ideas or just sit back and watch you fail; most of the time they end up loudly calling you stupid without telling you what you did wrong and then they’ll sit back and watch you fail.

Huffleclaws/Ravenpuffs always love helping people with homework and they’ll constantly suggest their favorite books to you (and expect you to read them), you can expect to see them hanging around random rooms and hallways and their common rooms drawing or writing or reading or just people watching, taking in everything they can about their surroundings and friends (and enemies). They know the most random trivia and will quietly correct your strategies or plans from the back of the room.

Gryffinclaws/Ravendors are totally witty and wickedly intelligent smartasses, they hate losing at anything, which makes them view everything as a competition; school, eating meals, running up the stairs, reading books, finishing homework, witty banter (you’ll either lose or you’ll get smacked with a book or broomstick) and even who gets the most bruises from Quidditch. They’re such smartasses that no one listens to them when they correct people; everyone’s been called a “blithering idiot” too many times and don’t even want to know how their plans can be better, no matter how loud the Gryffinclaws scream it.

Gryffinpuffs/Huffledors are the ones you want on your side in a battle, they’ll fight to the death and would rather die than let any harm come to their friends; they can’t fathom letting anyone get hurt if they have anything to do about it. Also, Slytherclaws love their precious Gryffinpuffs and will murder you if you hurt them. Gryffinpuffs will die for those that they love. They will loudly but politely correct you from the front of the room, sometimes their ideas are unconventional, but they’re always kind about how they correct you, so nobody shuts them up anymore.

Valkyrie has the vapours

Sooo… I am on week 3 of being sick with bronchitis and/or walking pneumonia, so forgive me for my ramblings and for taking so long to post.  Here’s my report from the front lines.  (I’m without my laptop so this will be a challenge.)  You might want to grab a beverage because I’m going to put this all in one post.

THAT HORRIBLE FEELING WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO THE CON IN TIME:  I came down with a stomach bug on Wednesday night (on top of the bronchitis) and was too sick to fly on Thursday morning.  Though the airline was able to rebook me on an afternoon flight, delays meant I would miss my connection.  After an hour standing at the JFK ticket counter during which options slipped away, I was finally able to secure an alternative flight… but had to endure a coach window seat for 6 hours despite having paid for a first class seat.  Thank god for the copious amount of drugs in my system that I was able to remain calm and get a little nap before running through LAX, rebooking yet again when I discovered a better connecting flight, and finally arriving at SeaTac after 1:00 am - 12 hours after I was originally supposed to land. The silver lining was that I was too distracted by the drama to be nervous about what I would say to Cait and Sam.

WAIT, WE’RE QUEUING UP HOW EARLY?  Luckily @chrismosstree and @myguiltyolpleasure scoped out the situation on Thursday afternoon and figured out exactly when and where we needed to be.  I awoke around 5 am after a couple hours of sleep to bid them farewell as they headed for the convention center, taking advantage of their generous offer to hold a place for me in line. Despite being dizzy and queasy I made my way down the street to our “holding pen” outside the main hall to wait for the panel discussion with Sam and Cait.   We were able to meet up with the lovely @supertam87, @sileas84, and @side-eyeing-you and chatted with a lot of other fans while we waited… and waited… and waited.  Seriously, you guys, attending a comic con is all about standing around and monitoring your fluid intake to make sure you don’t have to go to the bathroom at the wrong time.  Luckily I was dehydrated from the decongestants so I didn’t have to worry too much.

OH, MY GOD, IT’S STARTING!  Being in line so early paid off as we got 5th row center seats in the auditorium.  The hall was huge and completely filled up in a matter of minutes.  I feel like you miss so much in the room because you’re trying to switch from watching them on stage, to seeing them blown up on the screens to the side of the stage, to snapping pics, to trying to anticipate whether they are about to do something cute so your camera is at the ready.  Initial impression was that the panel was merely okay, but I’m jaded by having attended the NYC Apple Store event last year where it was a much more intimate setting and they were less guarded.  I’ll have to watch the video to see what I missed because I’ve seen a lot of cute gifs on tumblr.

GOOD LORD, HAVE THESE PEOPLE NEVER MANAGED LINES BEFORE?  The convention organizers came across as very disorganized.  Rather than routing us toward the hall through a series of roped off rows like an airport security checkpoint, we were crammed together in a pen behind some gates like cattle in a feed yard about to go to slaughter.  That set the tone for the day as staff struggled to figure out what to do with us as we queued for photo ops and autograph sessions.  All sense of time was lost as we stood packed cheek to jowl in very stuffy conditions.  By the time we approached our solo pics with Sam I was a sweaty mess - some combination of nerves, the cramped quarters, and the Robitussin.

A TOTAL OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE:  I turned into a blithering idiot during the photo ops.  For those of you who haven’t done this before, the process is similar to school picture day but with more yelling.  There is a tiny mirror hanging outside this curtained off area.  I seriously thought I was going to hyperventilate as we got close to the front of the line.  You have only a second to realize you are a sweaty mess before you give your ticket to someone and are waved into the booth.  You see Sam smiling with a fan plastered to his side while a photographer screams, “READY!”  *click* “NEXT!”  Then you are thrust toward Sam and he says hello while clasping you tightly.  You are too tongue-tied to say anything and too blinded by his beauty to look him in the eye.  "READY!“ *click* "NEXT!”  It’s over.  You can’t believe it happened, but you assume it did. Emotions were running high and we skipped away, giggling uncontrollably.  Then got back in line for the joint photo op and the solo Cait session…. which took all afternoon.  Observations: I’m shorter than I thought I was after seeing myself next to them.  Sam’s jacket is unbelievably soft and I’m surprised I didn’t pet him (or maybe I did - who can remember).  He smells really good (not that @chrismosstree would know…).  He’s also thinner than I expected.  Not skinny, but not beefy like in S1.  (He’s the same height as my brother but seems so much taller.) Cait’s legs are ridiculously long and her waist is in line with my bust.  She glows. It was all a blur.  I pride myself on being unflapable, but I was - well - flapped.  I was shy and embarrassed and nervous and excited and couldn’t put a sentence together, all at the same time. 

“THAT IS SO COOL!”  On to the autograph session and a two hour wait to deliver the Doll Frasers to Cait.  They had been packed in their little trunk and carried around all day while I mentally rehearsed what I would say.  A few people asked what was in the box (I carried it in a giant clear zip lock bag to guard again rain.) As I explained that our friend makes costumes for a set of Jamie and Claire dolls and poses them in scenes from the show, one woman asked if @outlanderedandoverhere had a booth at the con where she could buy her own set!  (There’s an idea for a revenue stream, Fiona…)  There were handlers taking each item to be autographed and passing them to Cait and Sam so that by the time you were in front of them the item was signed and you could be on your way.  I was a little worried that they might not allow gifts because I didn’t see anyone in front of me doing it and I had visions of carrying the trunk around for the next week only to have to ship it back to the U.K.  I knew I had to be quick and concise, so I removed the trunk from the bag and unlatched the lid.  I flipped it open and set the thr trunk down in front of Cait, telling her that we saw the Doll Fraser calendar on the wall in their makeup trailer and thought the cast and crew might like their own set of dolls to play with.  She said, “Yeah, yeah!” and lit up like a Christmas tree.  Seriously, smiling ear to ear and digging through the trunk.  I pointed out the charity t-shirts and she said, “That is so cool!”  She just could not stop staring at them while I babbled on about how the Doll Frasers have been adopted by our community.  Finally the handler tried to move on to the next fan and Cait sighed and reluctantly closed the trunk before tucking it under the table.  She even made a little sqeeing noise.  Sam was sitting too far away and occupied with signing to notice, and they were running waaay behind, so there was noopportunity to alert him to the transaction. However, the Doll Frasers were clearly a hit.  No telling where they go from here (I assume all gifts were sent to production offices in Scotland) but hopefully we’ll see or hear about them again at some point.

After that we were FINALLY finished for the day and headed out to meet up with other fans for dinner.  And, honestly, that was the best part of this event: meeting up with so many of you.  I have laughed (and coughed) so much in the last week that my abs might actually form a “six pack.” 😂  And I love how willing everyone is to share their experience and that so many are interested.

Some of you have asked about the cock blocking story.  It’s not that interesting and requires props and facial expressions to convey properly so it’s best done in person.  For some reason (ahem, @c2bend and @rainmanjdog) it’s taken on a life of its own.  Truly, I’m not trying to be a tease so I’ll see if I can figure out a way to tell it with @chrismosstree’s help.  We’re off to dinner now but will be back online later. 

tl:dr  Overall impressions are that Sam seemed very tired and a little guarded, Cait could not have been more lovely nor down to earth, and that we are an amazing, funny, smart, and lovely group of women.  Mwah!

anonymous asked:

“Don’t be an ass.”

He’s grouchy when he’s tired, in pain, or stressed. He isn’t the usual caring husband that wants to shower you with hugs and kisses or cuddle up with you on the couch. He’s the husband that grumbles under his breath and shuffles around the house miserably and rather loudly as he searches for something to inspire him. When he’s in his irritable, grumpy mood he paces the floorboards’ to the point you’re unsure how he isn’t wearing them thin while his lips curve into a pout. He tends to aimlessly snoop around, opening and closing cupboards, searching for nothing specific— perhaps searching for your attention with every echoing sound he managed to make.

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anonymous asked:

Hii!! So I read Know You Got That Thing (that i like) a while ago and I liked it so much the smut was really good in it. Can you recommend me similar fics? Where it's short and doesn't have tons of angst but still has a nice little plot..

So short (<15k) and smutty but not pure pwp, right ?

It’s gonna be long, so under the cut !

(you can add all the fics of the The 30-Day Smut Challenge  )

- know you got that thing (that i like) : In all the ways he thought about their reunion going, watching Louis finger himself open was not on the list. (15k)

- Sail Your Sea, Meet Your Storm : Louis is thirty, single, and a bit of a workaholic. He’s happy with his life, but then his mother decides to buy him tickets for a Singles Cruise. Appalled that his family thinks he can’t handle his own love life, he steps aboard the ship determined to have a terrible time.That is, of course, until a persistent brunet keeps offering him drinks.The strangers to enemies to friends to pining to lovers fic where Louis is cynical, Harry is charming, and they have seven days to get their shit together. (14k)

- i can be the motor (you’ll be the gasoline) : Harry is a British pop star living in LA. While trying to escape his reality of publicity stunts and record sales, his Harley breaks down. Stranded in the mountains, Harry has no choice but to call for help. And, somehow, a fit tow truck driver with the ocean in his eyes might end up fixing more than just Harry’s bike. (8k)

- It’s Never Enough : “Yeah? What else?” Harry asks anyways. Louis doesn’t know he’s a history professor and Harry doesn’t want to tell him because he doesn’t want to, like, offend him or embarrass him or something. He really, really likes the sound of Louis’ voice and doesn’t want him to stop talking. Ever. “The first attack was led by the Catholics.” Right. “And they just, like, stormed Jerusalem and took over.” Mostly wrong, but Harry just lets him talk, lets him explain (more like make up) everything in the section. (Basically; Harry is a history professor who fancies Louis, the fit bloke that works at his favorite museum. Louis doesn’t know anything about history and he definitely doesn’t know Harry’s a professor. Featuring an awful blind date, some inappropriate grinding in Ancient Rome, and a handful of mishaps.) (12k)

- hear your voice, in the backseat of my car : Louis gracelessly dropped the back of his seat so he could slide himself into the backseat, the fit tight and cramped and almost too warm.  He was unbuttoning his pants when he paused for a moment and took in the sight before him. “Christ.  Look at you.”  Louis stopped and just took in what he was seeing.  He was speechless and a little overwhelmed but very, very ready to see what would happen next.  Louis drives a cab.   Harry needs a ride. (8k)

- Our blood is boiling : “I can’t believe you’re making me this angry when it’s almost midnight and I’m not even drunk. You know what? I could take you down right here, right now—”“You’re red.” Harry interrupts, his lips curving up into a smug grin. “Am I making you red?”Louis purses his lips and absentmindedly brings a hand up to feel his cheek. It’s definitely warm. God, how can he even come back from this? [Louis meets indie singer Harry Styles, otherwise known as the bane of his existence, at a pub.] (6.5k)

- Fire and Ice : Harry really wants to come at the same time as Louis. Or, four times they misfire and the one time they get it right. (10k)

- Like You Hate Me : “You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again.Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson. (6.5k)

- I Built This Bed For Two (I Built This Bed For Me and You): Harry and Louis broke up after uni and haven’t seen each other since—until they’re roped into doing a Buzzfeed video together. Featuring awkward cuddling and a reunion that just needed a kick in the arse, gleefully provided by Niall. (10k)

- it’s hard to look right at you, baby: Coffee Shop AU where Louis is going through a dry spell, Zayn wants to be a good friend and help Louis find someone, and Harry ends up finding him instead.[or the one where louis is ‘hella fucking gay and desperately single’ and harry wants to change that last part.] (14k)

- Take Me To Your Heart  : Harry blinked at him for a second, and shit, they made eye contact. “Never gonna give, never gonna give…” the man sang, pointing at Harry to sing the next line. “Come on, curly!” Harry wasn’t sure whether or not to indulge him. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew from experience that sometimes, ignoring lively drunks did not make the problem go away. “Give you up.” Harry replied, before laying his head back against the window and closing his eyes. “Yeah!” The man cried, and to Harry’s despair he sat down next to him. “Had a good night?” “I’ve been working.” Harry mumbled, eyes still closed. “Oh. I’ve got a few days off at the moment, so just been out with my mates. I’m Louis, by the way.” — London Night Bus AU where all Harry wants to do is sleep, but he has a drunk man singing at him. (6k)

- Taste of a Poison Paradise : Louis notices Harry’s mouth right away. (10k)

- Forget Your Ex :  He just had to get right back on the horse, that’s what Harry kept telling himself. It was what Nick had told him he should do too, because after all, wasn’t that the way to get over someone; to get under someone else? Sayings like that had to exist for a reason… When Harry’s boyfriend of two years leaves him for someone else, it’s fair to say he’s rather a bit upset, but his friends have a solution for him. Nick and Niall are hosting a start of term house party at their flat, having invited everyone they know from uni. Who knows, with a bit of luck Harry can find a rebound shag and finally forget his ex… (9k)

- I know that it’s complicated, but I’m a loser in love so baby : Harry is smart, but when he talks he sounds like a blithering idiot, so he stays in the back and bakes cakes. Louis is bubbly and wonderful, he is eccentric and sees past Harry’s speech impediment. And when they are in bed Harry surprises both of them with his dirty talk. Woo! (14k)

- once like a spark : Louis is a bartender, and Harry is just his type.  "Can I get you anything else?“ Louis asks and shimmies his hips along to the beat of the music. Zayn is giving him a look from the other end of the bar, frowning slightly at the line of people waiting to get a drink. Louis rolls his eyes and shrugs and turns his attention back to the boy, who ruffles his fringe and gives Louis a little lopsided grin. (7k)

- as deep as the sky: A passed-out omega on the bathroom floor isn’t exactly what Harry had in mind when he thought about taking a cute boy home. The idea of leaving Louis there, vulnerable and unresponsive, weighs guiltily at Harry’s conscience. Turns out it’s the best decision he’ll ever make. (12k)

- Unraveling : Harry sat there with his head in his hands trying to figure out why he knew these types of things. He thought over the past few weeks, how he’d just known at certain times what Louis had been thinking or feeling, needing or wanting and it didn’t make sense to him. Until he had the wild thought, “Can I read Louis’s mind?” (10k)

- Rated R       : Louis gifts Harry with a surprise sex tape, and it accidentally makes its way into Harry’s family Christmas party. Ridiculousness ensues. (7k)

- Worlds Away: prompt:  astronaut au fic where Louis is staying on the international space station and Harry is on earth working ground control and he and Louis have really quiet late night chats after most of the workers are gone and get to know each other in the biggest long distance relationship u could ever have…then eventually Louis comes back to earth and they have a beautiful meeting (7k)

- Talk Dirty When You Talk To Me  : After a night out with Stan, Louis gets a dirty text message from a unknown number. Thinking its his best friend he replies. It turns out to be a boy named Harry. An experience Louis’ never had before happens after a heated discussion with said boy. (8k)(TW for cheating)

- if i had the chance, the things i would do to you : Niall sighs. He leans forward, pushing his mug of tea carefully to the side, before bracing his elbows on the table, chin in his hands. It makes him look like some sort of bottle-blonde cherub. “You have quite the fanbase, Harry. I’m not denying that. And you’ve done a good job of popping out every once in a while in the past two years, just to make sure you’re still talked about. But that’s all you’ve done, and I’m not satisfied. I want more.” He blinks at Harry. “Don’t you want more?”(Or: AU where Harry and Louis compete in the Lip Sync Battle) (15k)

- This Road Leads Where Your Heart Is : Alright, so Louis has a bit of a type is the thing.  And as fit as his supermodel flatmate (Harry) may be, he isn’t what Louis is looking for in a potential partner.  That’s all.  He’s not Louis’ type, with his miles of lanky limbs and his bright, boyish eyes.  His impossibly tight, little body and infectious laughter are not what Louis wants.  They’re not.  Really. (14k)

- zipping across the stars : One Direction consists of five people; Louis, Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Gemma. When the band preforms at Wembley Stadium the boys are introduced to Gemma’s younger brother Harry.Louis wishes he had known that before he threw himself at the boy for six hours but he can’t stop now can he? (10k)

- Rather this than live without you : Harry decides to give it all up. Louis refuses to be left behind. (11k)

Update (last update on July 11th 2017, with *)

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THESE NEED TO STOP HAPPENING IN PJO FICS:

-Annabeth cheating on Percy and breaking up with him because she “found someone more powerful” than Percy… She isn’t some power obsessed maniac like Luke was. She loves Percy because he’s Percy. If she were power hungry, she wouldn’t have turned down the Hunters. Unless you’re a demigod that ascends to godhood, immortality and some Artemis archery skills running through you is as powerful as you can be. So in those fics where Percy leaves camp heartbroken because Annabeth cheated on him, it just completely craps all over her amazing character.

-Percy isn’t a blithering idiot… Is he a bit slow sometimes? Yeah. He definitely is. But he isn’t stupid. Remember when he challenged Briares, a monster with one-hundred hands, to a game of rock paper scissors when he’s just a guy with two hands? He outsmarted him. He pulled out a gun and trumped all one hundred of Briares hands and used some pretty great Athena-like intelligence that saved him, Briares, and Annabeth’s lives. ANNABETH HERSELF HAD NO IDEA HOW TO PUMP UP BRIARES’ SELF-CONFIDENCE SO THEY COULD RUN FROM KAMPE.

If you have any more, please add to this list.